Tuesday, 7 July 2020

Turning a blind eye to the lies just to keep it all together

Photos and postcards are also a nice idea, the main thing being that it speaks to your heart. Give her perfume and incense, and play joyful music when talking to her, she loves music. Of course, in modern times she also loves to see (cat food) donations to animal shelters that give refuge to cats. Magic does not always have to be magical in the sense of candles, incense, spells, and all the like. It can also be done on a very practical basis. Baubo is the goddess of the vulva, which was sacred to many ancient cultures and a favorite symbol to ward off evil. Pure light in a dream can leave an indelible impression, as in this report from the archive of the Alister Hardy Religious Experience Research Centre. An English man in his sixties, who described himself as reckless in his youth, recounted an experience he had in his twenties when he crashed his car while driving under the influence of alcohol. After being diagnosed with a mild concussion, he was sent home to rest. There he fell asleep and had a moving experience, the account of which follows: I was one with eternally pulsing light, not a dazzling but a peaceful light, `such as never was on sea or land'; Yet I was not conscious of being safe so much as of there being no longer anything to fear. There seemed to be a completeness about everything and everything went on for ever: there was no birth or death, beginning or end. There was no need to be, because in that moment was eternity, it always had been and always would be. Nor was I by any means alone: I was communicating with infinite wisdom, not as an individual but as an entity; I had no need for companionship because I was, in a sense, companionship. Some of the best things in life happen unexpectedly, and often that includes getting into a relationship. Sometimes, a couple meet each other's gaze across a crowded room and immediately feel an electric connection. In that moment, their lives change. Those relationships do happen but they are not that common.

People meet in shops and businesses, through friends, through sports and completely by chance. Many, many people meet at work, more and more meet via dating apps, and every day people meet when they weren't expecting to meet anyone. Some of the best relationships start when people are not looking for a partner. Quite a few relationships begin as just a bit of fun and gradually grow as people discover they like each other and get on better and better. Sometimes both partners fall in love at the same time, sometimes one person falls in love instantly and woos the other until at last they see how that person is truly loveable. Of course, it doesn't always work. Dramatic new evidence of oxytocin's power to shape your social life first surfaced in Europe, where laws permitted the use of a synthetic form of oxytocin, available as a nasal spray, for investigational purposes. Among the first of these studies was one in which 128 men from Zurich played the so-called trust game with real monetary outcomes on the line. At random, these men were assigned to either the role of investor or the role of trustee, and each was given an equivalent pot of starting funds. Investors made the first move in the game. They could give some, all, or none of their allocated funds to the trustee. During the transfer of funds, the experimenter tripled their investment while letting the trustee know how much the investors had originally transferred. Trustees made the next move. They could give some, all, or none of their new allotment of funds (the investors' tripled investment plus their own original allocation) back to investors. The structure of the game puts investors, but not trustees, at risk. If an investor chose to entrust the other guy with his investment, he risked receiving nothing in return if the trustee chose to selfishly keep the entire monetary gain for himself. Actually he is governed by the ghosts of the subconscious that walk the gloomy galleries of his mind. When you pray for such a person, it is necessary to do all the work yourself. You have to convince yourself of his freedom, peace, harmony, and understanding. Repeat this affirmation two or three times daily with love, affection, and belief that your loved one is getting better.

By repeating these Truths to yourself, realizing that there is but one mind, you will gradually, through frequent picturing in your mind, reach a dominant conviction, and the person you are praying for will at that moment be healed. Remain Youthful Life flows through me like electricity through wire. It is an ageless force that constantly invigorates my mind and body. I look forward eagerly to each new day, which always delivers opportunities to learn and to enjoy the beauty that surrounds me. I am ever curious to explore the wonders of the universe as they reveal themselves to me. What was more interesting, however, was the mental activity of the subjects who did find the new solution. They were not earnestly figuring out the answers, or making calculations on bits of scrap paper. They were actually musing in a much more general way on what type of questions were being asked, and what the experimenter was up to. One said, `I was wondering what the experiment was trying to prove. Let me illustrate how intuition works with the aid of a slightly more complicated example (one, incidentally, that Wittgenstein was fond of using in his philosophy seminars). Imagine that the Earth has been smoothed over so that it forms a perfect sphere, and that a piece of (non-elastic) string has been tied snugly round the equator. Now suppose that the string is untied, and another 2 metres added to the total length, which is then spaced out so that the gap which has been created between the string and the Earth's surface is the same all the way round. How big is this gap? Could you slide a hair under the string? A paperback article? Mumma taught me how to insert my first ever tampon safely. I had one foot on the toilet seat, jelly stuff around the cardboard applicator, and a seized-up body from crying. I absolutely hated the feeling of an alien object going inside me, a string hanging down outside of me. MY TOP 3 `BLOODY HELL!

IWaking up in a warzone three weeks into a new relationship with a boy who'd never had a girlfriend before. I'd bled through his bed sheets, onto the mattress . IIYou know that magic trick where a napkin turns into a whole stream of napkins tied together? Well, that's what it felt like when I pulled out a tampon, then felt another string hanging down. I'd spent the whole day in pain, convinced I had appendicitis, but there I was, totally unaware I had `doubled up'. IIIBleeding through white jeans on a date in the cinema. Some studies show that Stevia may lower blood glucose. Sounds great, but I'm not sure it is healthy in the long run. It appears that Stevia may have the same effect as Metformin and Glucotrol (glipizide). Both are used to treat type 2 diabetes by causing insulin sensitivity. In laymen's terms, it makes your cells more receptive to the insulin key, which in turn force-feeds glucose to your cells. The glucose leaves your bloodstream, goes into your cells, and lowers your blood glucose numbers. The numbers may look great, but remember, the glucose didn't disappear: it went somewhere. The long-term effects of force-feeding your cells glucose has yet to be researched. In addition, some studies report that alternative sweeteners have been linked to weight gain. Your brain and taste receptors are partially satisfied, which causes many to consume more food in order to feel satiated. Chronotherapy is based solidly on careful scientific research, but too often being right is not enough to guarantee acceptance, or even a hearing. We need to turn toward a different model of medical progress, one that puts the patient at the center of the initiative. Call it Therapy from Below. Or as Dr Frederick Goodwin, a former director of the National Institute of Mental Health, put it, How do you teach psychiatrists?

Teach it to their patients. One of our hopes for this article is to give you, the reader, the concepts and facts to communicate better about chronotherapy with family members and health professionals. You have already taken the initiative by picking up this article. We want you to keep thinking about chronotherapy after you've finished reading about it here. Tag the parts of the article that struck you as particularly interesting and relevant. Explore our supplementary online material (see Resources for Follow-up). After a while, I realized that it was necessary, so I began to engage in it occasionally. And any time I could delegate it, I did. And in time, I became willing to think realistically before I got in trouble and make it a continual part of my life. Today, I encourage my key leaders to think realistically. We make realistic thinking the foundation of our business because we derive certainty and security from it. Why You Should Recognize the Importance of Realistic Thinking If you're a naturally optimistic person, as I am, you may not possess great desire to become a more realistic thinker. But cultivating the ability to be realistic in your thinking will not undermine your faith in people, nor will it lessen your ability to see and seize opportunities. Instead, it will add value to you in other ways: Realistic Thinking Minimizes Downside Risk She's the source, the origin, and the door to life. The divine vulva was often depicted in stylized form, like the diamond shape or the downward-pointing triangle. Cowrie shells also evoke this divine energy because of their form and were favored amulets in old Europe. The motif of a goddess displaying her vulva is seen from the dawn of mankind.

Monday, 6 July 2020

We were concerned with ideas

In fact, they make it harder to keep to a better schedule once Monday rolls around. Sleeping in also allows your internal clock to drift later, because you are waiting too long before you get to see daylight. This is what makes Monday morning the most dreaded time of the week. Get more morning light. Bright light plays a critical role in keeping our inner clock in sync. It also has a powerful effect on our mood and energy. The simplest way of taking advantage of this process is to go outside at the end of your normal sleep cycle and spend at least ten or fifteen minutes in full sunlight--assuming you've had a decent night's sleep. If that means while you're waiting for the morning school bus, stake out a sunny spot and face east. Get more exercise, but not in the evening. Exercise in the morning helps to synchronize the internal clock, making it easier to get to sleep earlier at night, but late night exercise has a risk of making it harder to get to sleep. TIP #1: ASK QUESTIONS TO CREATE SELF-AWARENESS. Identifying any intensity of self-loathing is an important part of thriving in motherhood. No matter how pained or vulnerable you feel, I want to remind you how incredibly brave and strong you are. You can get through this and you will--with time, dedication to yourself, and the support of a therapist. But first, I want you to ask yourself the following questions: What was it? What positive messages were told to me and by whom? What negative messages were told to me and by whom? Am I afraid to make mistakes? If so, when did this start?

What does that mean? Well, I can change the conversation; I've been turning all the rules upside down. I spend a lot of time cultivating my commitment to faith. I also feel my confidence and certainty growing. I give my dreams my attention. I'm working to uncover all my gifts. That's taking time. But you're finding some nice surprises, I bet. And I'm finally getting a handle on sequencing what I need to do and when and how. Cut down on caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine. Scientific studies--like most people's personal experiences--make it very clear that caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine have bad effects on sleep. By limiting your consumption during the day and cutting it out altogether during the evening hours, you can improve your sleep and your general health. And do we need to point out that alcohol and nicotine consumption is not just unwise but illegal for most teens? Cut down on evening light. Exposure to bright light during the evening pushes the inner clock later, making it harder to get to sleep on time and to wake up the next morning. The TV, computer screen, or brightly lit article is making your sleep problem worse. Does this mean you should sit in the dark doing nothing until bedtime? Of course not, but try to reduce bright light as the evening goes on. Put your room light and desk lamp on dimmers, so you can see everything easily while avoiding overstimulation.

If not, how would I like to live? What does my authentic self need to be happy, to be content, and to live with purpose and meaning? TIP #2: BE INSPIRED BY OTHERS, BUT DON'T COMPARE. Self-loathing is a shadow emotion fueled by intense negative and critical thoughts that focus on deficits, flaws, and hurtful personal insults through comparisons with others. Comparison is the enemy and thief of joy, happiness, contentment, and thriving. Don't compare yourself to others; When you catch yourself comparing yourself to others, remember to stop and challenge yourself by keeping in mind that what you see in another person is only a small portion of their reality--it's what you perceive but is not 100 percent accurate. Instead, I want you to look at others through the lens of inspiration: What do they do (or what do you see) that inspires you? What qualities do they have that you'd like to cultivate in your life? When you think from a place of inspiration instead of comparison, you may find yourself encouraged to create a more authentic and meaningful life. Okay, good. And it's just going really well, Loral. I feel like a lot has shifted for me, so I really don't think I need all that support and team you talk about. Are you serious? Well, it's just, you know, I have a lot of gifts and abilities, and I just find that when I delegate, well, no one ever does it as well as I do. No one ever does what as well as you? Everything? Well, no, but . Although people like this might be on a momentary high from discovering their Yes! Energy, it doesn't last.

Avoid using bright white fluorescent lamps, including the energy-saver type. One step that can help a lot is to download an application called f. It's pretty cool. Unwind with a pre-sleep routine. You will find it helps to create a regular transition between the stresses of the day and going to sleep--an appealing routine that puts you in a calmer frame of mind. What this looks like is very much up to you. Lots of people find that a cup of warm milk or uncaffeinated herb tea helps. Others swear by meditating, taking a warm bath, or listening to soothing music. What's important is that it work for you and that you make it such a regular habit that you don't even have to think about it. Get a little help from your friends. TIP #3: PRACTICE SELF-COMPASSION. Self-compassion is a practice of self-love and understanding that every mom deserves to feel, including you. Self-compassion starts with an awareness that you deserve to feel happy, loved, and secure. Next, self-compassion is giving yourself the same kindness and understanding that you give to others. Finally, self-compassion is about being aware of your suffering, pain, and insecurities and being intentional not to judge, criticize, or harm yourself with the words or actions you direct at yourself. Self-loathing, on the other hand, is a shadow emotion fueled by negative thinking and self-talk; As simple as it sounds, you can start this moment by making a commitment to talk kindly to yourself, as you would a friend and your child. Learning the skills of self-compassion will help you heal patterns of self-loathing and foster more health and well-being in all areas of your life. TIP #4: NOTICE PATTERNS OF SELF-LOATHING. The shadow emotion of self-loathing is often triggered by certain situations, people, or events.

In fact, this path quickly leads to exhaustion and anger. The Energy Equation is not a short-term pick-me-up idea. This is about long-term ooEOEoo. There's a reason for each of the eight factors in the formula. None can be skipped, and none can be ignored. No one can do everything. No one knows everything. In fact, most people know very little, so those who do everything themselves are doomed. Community and collaboration can create monster potential. But you can't just build any community or collaborate with just anyone. Tell your best friends that you are going to deal with your sleep problems. By letting them know, you are making a sort of public statement, which is usually easier to keep to than private decisions. Ask them to help by not texting or calling you late in the evening. Just for insurance, turn off your cell phone audio alerts for the night. Your friends may tease you, but they are probably having the same problem. Why not rope them in, and use the buddy system? If you are feeling depressed, anxious, or both--and this is interfering with your sleep, schoolwork, home life, social life, or even your outlook on life--don't keep it to yourself. There are many possible causes as well as ways to deal with the problem so your mood improves rather than getting worse. Take a deep breath, and don't delay sharing this with your parents, a friendly teacher, guidance counselor, or doctor. If you are in the U.

We didn't expect to find ourselves playing this part

If your partner's insomnia is caused by chronic pain or stiffness, try the other basic and advanced techniques for that area as well. Basic Massage: Feathering (light pressure, 1) Have your partner lie face down. Using both hands, stroke from the base of your partner's head to the base of their spine with rhythmic movements. As one hand reaches the bottom of the spine, your other hand starts at their neck, so there is always one hand moving down their spine. Use this stroke for at least 3 minutes to reset and sedate your partner's nervous system. Basic Massage: Acupressure (light pressure, 1 to 3) Hold UB15, the point that is one finger-width from the spine at the midpoint between the top and bottom points of the shoulder blade. This point is effective for relieving chest pain, heart palpitations, chest congestion, difficulty breathing, forgetfulness, and symptoms of anxiety and insomnia. Hold ST36, the point that is four finger-widths down from the outer side of the knee, just behind the shinbone (tibia). Do you wonder if difficulties with sleeping, mood, and energy levels are getting in the way of having the kind of daily life you want? If so, you shouldn't be surprised. These problems are common, and can have many causes, for teens as well as for adults. Sometimes they become so severe that they need to be treated by a professional who is skilled in using chronotherapy or psychotherapy. On the other hand, you may well find relief just by taking some simple steps on your own. You can decide to improve your sleep, mood, and energy. Learn the reasons for the problems and how they can be solved. Take concrete steps that fit your goals, personality, and any external issues. Then resolve to carry out your plan, since no one else is going to be responsible. There will probably be setbacks.

I can try to see the beauty of, and take pride in, the amazing thing my body has achieved through pregnancy and birth. What are the things I can do to take care of my body, so that I can be the healthiest version of myself emotionally and physically? No one knows what an impostor I am; I'm having a tough moment, and I feel insecure. I'm not an impostor. I have strengths and great qualities, but right now my negative thinking is blocking me from seeing my strengths and abilities. I had some challenging experiences that impacted me, but they don't have to define me. I'm strong and loving, and my child loves and needs me. My kids don't deserve to have a mother who is this broken. I'm so afraid I'm messing them up. This point is helpful for poor circulation in the legs, leg muscle cramping and pain, depression, anxiety, fatigue, digestive issues, chronic illness, and decreased immune function. Hold HT7, the point that is on the pinky side of the inner wrist crease, just inside the nearest tendon to the edge. This point is helpful for chest pain, irregular heart rate, forgetfulness, and symptoms of insomnia and anxiety. It is known as the main point for emotional issues, especially excessive worry and anxiety. Hold KI1, the point that is at the center of the ball of the foot, where the sole of the foot creases when the toes are curled. This point is calming and induces restful sleep. Depression is characterized by emotional and social withdrawal, prolonged sadness and hopelessness, loss of interest in your favorite things, and sometimes even thoughts of harming yourself. Other symptoms include irritability, restlessness, fatigue, low energy, difficulty concentrating, insomnia, changes in your appetite, chronic pain, cramps, or digestive problems, and feeling guilty, worthless, or helpless. Chronic depression is usually diagnosed when you have dealt with five or more of these symptoms over a two-week period or longer. Depression can be caused by sudden changes in your physical or emotional circumstances, including changes in your relationships, finances, or career.

It won't always be easy to keep your long-range goals in mind when a more immediate temptation comes up. But if you can stay with the program you set yourself, you are sure to see encouraging changes. Some of our pointers may sound totally obvious, but please don't brush them aside. Instead, ask yourself: If they are so obvious, why haven't I been following them? Get more sleep. There is nothing you can do about the time you have to get up on school days. So any changes have to take place at the other end, with bedtime. It will work best to change gradually. Let's say you now go to bed at 12:30 AM and fall asleep by 12:45 AM. Make a commitment to yourself to be in bed by 12:15. I'm not broken, I'm having a tough moment. Hating myself is not going to make me feel better, but it's a coping skill I learned a while ago that I need to change. I'm not messing up my children--I'm doing the best I can, and while this is a fear right now, where is the evidence this is true? Reaching out for support is what I need to do. I don't have to go through this moment alone. I think I'm repulsive and disgusting. Is this kind? Is this true? Is this a loving statement to myself? In this moment, what do I need to feel better, to take care of myself, and to give myself compassion instead of judgment?

If you deal with depression, you are not alone. Depression affects 10 percent of American adults and can cause chronic pain, asthma, heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. It also costs you money when you miss work, go on short-term disability, or feel unproductive. Massage can help by improving your mood through increased serotonin levels. Studies have shown that regular massage sessions over several weeks can significantly reduce the severity and number of your symptoms of depression. To relieve the low energy of depression, start with slower movements, like acupressure and gliding, and work your way up to faster, more energizing movements, like percussion. Find a friend, family member, colleague, or health professional to talk to about your feelings of isolation, sadness, and hopefulness. Learn positive coping skills and break unhealthy thought patterns and habits. You are worth the time and effort to get help. Only you can serve your unique purpose in this world! The first few nights you may stay awake until 12:45, but don't give up. Soon you'll fall asleep by 12:30. Once that's done, move your bedtime back to midnight. Keep the process going until you reach the bedtime you need to get the amount of sleep you need. Get more regular sleep. Try to get to bed at the same time on weekends as during the week and to get up weekend mornings after no more than eight or nine hours of sleep. If you are getting less sleep than you need on school nights--as is true for practically all teens--the pressure to sleep builds up during the week. The urge to catch up on the weekend is very hard to resist. Plus, of course, Friday and Saturday evenings are prime time in your social life. However, those hours sleeping in on Saturday and Sunday morning do nothing to help you during the week.

How would I respond if my child said this exact thing about themselves? I need to do the same for myself. I am not a good mother. Right now I don't think I'm a good mother, but I am; I love my child and am doing my best. The way I'm feeling is coloring my thoughts and what I focus on. I am the best mother I can be right now, and I have to remember that motherhood is not one moment but a series of moments. The judgment that I'm not a good mother is untrue. If a dear friend were going through exactly what I am right now, what advice would I give her? Moving Beyond the Shadows Get active. Add a little bit of movement each day, whether it's taking the stairs, checking the mail, taking a walk, or going to the gym. It all adds up, and a tiny bit is better than nothing. Better yet if you get some sun, which increases serotonin levels and boosts your mood. In my organization, teams interconnect in many Olympic-like circles, strengthening the chains of the entire community. If You Don't Have Time, You Need a Team Finding team, and asking for support, is vital. Unfortunately, though, I've often heard a variation on the following: Loral, I've got ooEOEoo down. Okay, great.

Plan destruction and gain respectability,

To get a more detailed understanding about what's going on, teens should take the online chronotype questionnaire (see Resources for Follow-up). The personalized feedback will help them find out how much of a lark or owl they are compared with other people. When does their internal clock think they should be going to sleep? Is that when they are actually getting to sleep? If you suspect your teen is showing signs of depression, there is the confidential online self-assessment of depression severity. This will help them to face the next steps and, if indicated by the questionnaire's personalized feedback, to seek help. Antidepressant drugs may not be the answer. In a recent drug-company study of more than three hundred children and adolescents with depression, Prozac seemed to help the kids, but not the adolescents! Our interpretation is that adolescent depression is closely associated with the inner-clock shift later that comes with puberty, and Prozac is not a chronobiologically relevant drug. What's needed is to shift the clock earlier, in sync with sleep--in other words, chronotherapy. I want you to know that you are just like the mom in my counseling room. You matter so much. Feeling disgust in motherhood is not limited to experiences with our children. Self-loathing is a shadow emotion with a combination of feelings, most often anger, sadness, guilt, regret, shame, and unresolved trauma and pain. The shadow emotion of self-loathing and self-hatred is one of the most delicate to read, write, and talk about. But make no mistake, this shadow emotion is being experienced by many mothers--you are not alone. In the therapy hour, so many mothers share with me how they feel mild forms of disgust toward themselves, to moderate feelings of self-hatred, to intense feelings of self-loathing. The reasons are varied but tend to be in reaction to changes in body shape, size, and appearance; In milder forms, the shadow emotion of self-hatred and self-loathing shows up when we feel ugly or unattractive or when we overfocus and highlight our flaws and insecurities. Being human means that at some point we'll have moments of self-criticism or judgment, moments when we do not feel good about ourselves.But when there is a persistent pattern of self-loathing, when we feel bad about ourselves more than good, we are in an unhealthy place.

Encourage your partner to avoid talking about or thinking about stressful matters, including work, family, health, or money issues, during your massage session. Use this time to practice healthy coping skills: for example, meditation, prayer, or visualization. Essential oils: For additional anxiety relief, add your own blend of anxiety-relieving essential oils to your massage lotion or use a diffuser to scent the room. Try bergamot, lavender, geranium, sandalwood, cedarwood, cypress, ylang ylang, vetiver, frankincense, or marjoram. Basic Massage Do rocking and shaking for the whole body (back, arms, and legs). Do the Head, Neck, and Chest sequence . Do the Back and Shoulders sequence . Do the Arms and Hands sequence . Do the Hips sequence . Now that you and your teen see how many problems these sleeping patterns are creating, what next? First, it is crucial to understand that having these difficulties does not mean your son or daughter is lazy or crazy. And the fact that they (and you) are finding these problems hard to deal with does not mean they lack willpower! This is what being an adolescent is all about--changes. The physical, hormonal, and neurological changes that began with puberty push their internal clock in the direction of a later daily rhythm. It happened to you when you were their age, it happened to your friends and classmates, it happened to teens on the other side of the world, then and now. And today's 24/7/365 culture has dramatically worsened the problem. It is a universal fact of adolescence, just as much as getting taller or moving toward sexual maturity, and it has to be dealt with by you and by your child. However, it is equally important to recognize that biology is not destiny. Adolescents do not have to put up with sleep or mood or energy problems just because these problems have physiological causes.

Nothing changes a mother's body more dramatically than pregnancy. It's miraculous how a mother's body rapidly transforms to carry life, intuitively knowing what to do to grow a baby over the span of nine months. The changes continue postpartum and long after, especially when a mother nurses her baby. From stretch marks on her breasts, abdomen, and legs to the changing size and shape of her breasts (not to mention the scars and incisions from birth), a mother's body is like a map revealing on the outside that she's been forever changed. And if a mother's body didn't change due to pregnancy and birth, then it's only a matter of time before, in the course of caring for her child, she loses sleep and becomes so exhausted she hardly recognizes her reflection in the mirror. A mother may get more regular sleep as her child gets older. But self-care is too often far down on her priority list, because there's always so much to do--exercising, showering, styling her hair, and even changing her clothes seem impossible. So to cope with her stress and exhaustion, she creates habits to comfort her, like scrolling on her phone, staying up too late mindlessly watching TV shows, or using the quiet time at night to indulge in snacks, treats, and sweets. She's filling a void, ignoring what's really going on: She's missing the part of herself that has been crowded out by motherhood. You Are Not Alone: Brigitte's Story Do the Legs and Feet sequence . If your partner's anxiety is the result of chronic pain, try the other basic and advanced techniques for that area as well. Basic Massage: Feathering (light pressure, 1) Using both hands, stroke from the base of the head to the base of the spine with rhythmic movements (see here ). As one hand reaches the bottom of the spine, the other hand starts at the neck, so there is always one hand moving down the spine. Use this stroke for at least three minutes to reset and sedate the nervous system. Basic Massage: Acupressure (light pressure, 1 to 2) Hold GB20, the point that is just below the base of the head on either side of the neck, about two finger-widths away from the spine. This point reduces stress, calms the mind, improves breathing, and helps with headaches and neck and jaw pain. It also helps with insomnia, fatigue, and general irritability.

That would be like saying, because some kids are physiologically nearsighted, they should resign themselves to never being able to see the blackboard. Of course not! Instead, they are given an eye exam and get glasses or contacts to correct the problem. Of course, as a caring parent, you will do what you can to help, but in the end teens need to take responsibility for dealing with their sleep issues themselves. The more they understand the sources and consequences of their sleep problems, the more they are likely to want to change and believe that change is something they can really accomplish. If they feel the necessary changes are being imposed, however, you are more likely to find resistance instead of cooperation. Discuss what you have learned. Suggest that they read this article, especially the section below, Our Advice to Teens. Then propose arriving at an agreement that lays out the steps they intend to take to deal with their sleep issues. Adolescents are often hypersensitive about being told what to do, but they can also appreciate the concern and support implied by reasonable rules. Brigitte was preoccupied most days with constant negative self-talk, hating so many parts of herself--her face, body, and almost everything about her appearance. No one knew this inner turmoil; Brigitte spent a lot of time in the morning putting herself together in order to look perfect, which was a ritual she developed in college--flawless hair, expertly applied makeup, coordinated outfit--in order to suppress what she believed, and had been told: that she was ugly and worthless. Brigitte grew up with parents who had untreated mental health issues, who verbally abused and berated her throughout her childhood and into her young adulthood. Bright, motivated, and focused, she knew there had to be another way. She worked to put herself through college, securing her independence. Brigitte came to see me after a cosmetic surgeon recommended counseling; Brigitte was planning to have significant plastic surgery to fix all of her perceived flaws. Our work focused on addressing the pain and suffering she had suppressed since childhood. We focused on highlighting her strengths, reframing negative and abusive self-talk, and postponing any cosmetic treatments for a period of time, so she could heal her suffering and make a clear decision without seeing her body through the lens of pain.

Hold UB15, the point that is one finger-width from the spine at the midpoint between the top and bottom points of the shoulder blade. This point is effective for relieving chest pain, heart palpitations, chest congestion, difficulty breathing, forgetfulness, and symptoms of anxiety and insomnia. Hold PC6, the point that is three finger-widths down from the crease of the wrist on the inner forearm, in the center between the two thickest tendons. This point relieves pain and fullness in the chest, anxiety, depression, insomnia, nausea, motion sickness, and wrist pain. Hold HT7, the point that is on the pinky side of the inner wrist crease, just inside the nearest tendon to the edge. This point is helpful for chest pain, irregular heart rate, insomnia, and forgetfulness. It is known as the main point for emotional issues, especially anxiety and worry. INSOMNIA AND FATIGUE Insomnia means difficulty sleeping, whether falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up in the morning. It has many causes, including emotional and mental health issues, excessive eating or exercising, alcohol or drug use, chronic illness, and pain. Three aspects of your teen's daily life call particularly for your input: Bedtime. Always staying up late when you know you have to be up early the next morning is not a badge of adulthood--it's a sign of a problem that needs to be dealt with. Discuss with your teen what a reasonable bedtime would be, and then help him or her lay out the necessary steps to reach that goal and make it a habit. Electronic media. The latest research makes it very clear that looking at a TV or computer screen in the evening pushes the body's systems toward a later bedtime. Encourage teens to set their own time limits on exposure. Remind them how much better they have felt after a good night's sleep. Setting time limits on exposure might help tremendously--although it may not meet with much cooperation from older teens. Employment.

Sunday, 5 July 2020

Thrown around in the spectacle

There might be a few relationships in your circle that aren't very healthy. Identify those relationships and look at ways to break the negative tie or reduce the impact it has on you, so that you are open for healthier connections. If you aren't even sure what kinds of support you are missing or where you might find that support, sit down and figure it out. For example, if you have lots of practical support, but not much emotional support, looking for a group of folks dealing with the same issues would greatly strengthen your network. We meet numerous people over the course of our lives, but only some of them become part of our network and even fewer become true friends. Forming meaningful connections takes time; TREASURE IT. Strong relationships are not one-sided. The power to be great is within you. Examine your inner strengths, your natural abilities, and everyday skills and use them to generate Yes! One of our greatest gifts is the physical, sensual, free gift of just being alive, yet like so many of life's benefits, it is too often overlooked. The Inquiry What's the big game you're ready to play? The Exercise Consider the types of energy to which you aspire. List them in your journal. What gifts do you have that service this energy? What services and support do you provide others that you take for granted or that aren't necessarily valued? It is an acceptance of what is, a letting go of trying to rework the outcome you wanted in your mind. Time is something that cannot be relived or taken back.

So what we have left is acceptance of what is, what remains, and the aftereffects. And by facing your suffering, you can grieve, feel the pain, and allow the process to move forward. Suppressing your feelings only transforms the pain into resentment. Often it can seem easier to hold on to the anger of resentment--anger can seem powerful and protective. But that is an illusion, because beneath resentment is suffering asking to be released and cleansed. You may fear experiencing the true pain beneath your resentment, so anger feels like the preferable option. But suppressing pain and suffering is like creating beautiful space for a garden and doing everything necessary for growth, except planting the seeds. Instead, you place the seeds in a drawer but check the garden every day to see if flowers are beginning to emerge. Whether they're making unproven claims based on the latest buzzword bandwagon or just frightening you into trying to fix a problem you don't have, the skincare industry is rife with repeat offenders. I'm not singling out any particular brands here, but these are the products that have no reason for being on our shelves. They do not `clean' your face. They are for Emergencies Only - real emergencies. If you have access to clean water, there is no emergency. They're also atrocious for the environment. Remember: Fannies, flights and festivals (see here). And NEVER flush. Sheet masks, aka `wipes with holes cut out for eyes'. Think of the environment if nothing else. Why does the air smell so fresh right after a thunderstorm? We can imagine lots of likely answers to these questions.

If you are at the beach, you are not at work (unless you're a lifeguard or cotton-candy hawker). Niagara Falls is a stupefying spectacle, a wonder of nature, and pretty scary if you think about being swept into it. Rain makes the grass smell sweeter and washes the grunge off the concrete. And any of these experiences is enhanced if you are with someone you like. There is something else they have in common, too, though. Each is a situation in which you are likely to find higher concentrations of negative air ions. Negative air ions appear when a molecule of oxygen in the air takes on an extra electron, giving it a negative electrical charge. Unless the air is very dry, microscopic droplets of water, which help protect the charge from dissipating, surround the charged molecule. Be sure you find ways to contribute to your important relationships and tell those special people how much you appreciate them in your life. MAINTAINING KEY SUPPORT RELATIONSHIPS You may have a great support network but also recognize that a few important relationships need a little maintenance. Creating lasting, healthy relationships requires effort. Here are a few ideas on strengthening the key connections in your life so that you can count on them over the long haul. LOVE EQUALS TIME. Be sure you manage your time in a way that allows you to focus on the important people in your network. Make time to go out with your best friend, play with your child, or have a deep talk with your partner. If you don't make time to nurture these relationships, they will deteriorate. DON'T BE A BULLY OR A WIMP. How can you change that? Next Steps:

Make a candid appraisal of your strengths, your skills, and your gifts. To help you be inclusive, consider how you make a living, not the job or title, but all of the actual skills you use. Look at the things you do every day that you might take for granted, but which you do very well and which come easily to you. Draw up as big of a list of your gifts as you can here. If you fall short, ask a trusted friend or relative for a few thoughts. LEVERAGING LIBIDO The Drive of Nature I love my libido. Seeds need the right conditions to transform into flowers. Your bitterness and resentment is similar: When you release these shadow emotions instead of allowing them to take up space, blocking growth, you open up to transforming these feelings into something else--joy, calm, and connection. A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms. Jealousy and envy in motherhood are not pretty. These shadow emotions can be awful to experience, especially when these feelings are in reaction to your child. The first time I felt jealousy and envy as a mother was when my twin daughters, who were born premature, needed round-the-clock care in the neonatal intensive care unit for two weeks, with breathing tubes, heart monitors, and feeding tubes. I didn't feel the shadow emotions of jealousy and envy right away, or even during the first days when I had visitors and was busy spending time with the girls. No, these shadow emotions came in the quiet of the night, when I was alone in my hospital room and my babies were being cared for by a team of nurses down the hall in the NICU. About three nights into our hospital stay, I woke up to the sound of a crying infant from the room across the hall. I felt the shadow emotions of jealousy and envy in full force. Foaming face washes that contain SLS/SLES or, more specifically, anything that describes itself as giving you `squeaky clean' skin. No part of your body should squeak.

These products are too drying. You may want to also consider removing hair products and toothpaste containing SLS from your routine. Micellar waters. These are fine for removing eye makeup, or your entire face in an emergency with no access to water, but they're not a one-stop shop for daily use and should be washed off. Use them as a first cleanse only. Pore strips. I don't care who you see advertising them, no one who works in and on skin and cares deeply about your skin would ever - ever - recommend these. Horrible things. These clusters of molecules are particularly plentiful at the seashore by the pounding surf, next to waterfalls and rapids, after lightning storms, and in the tropical rain forest. We are also more likely to find negative air ions out in the countryside than in the city. The reason is that so many of the objects around us--radiators, plumbing, house wiring, electronic devices of all sorts--function as electrical grounds that attract and neutralize the negative ions. They don't even need to be directly connected to the earth, as long as they are more positive in charge than the ions. The ions come in contact with them and presto! The process is just like what happens on a dry winter day when you take off your coat, then reach for a doorknob or light switch. The electrical charge you accumulated instantly discharges and you feel a slight shock. There is another reason negative air ions are scarce in our homes, schools, offices, and hospitals: climate control. In the winter, heating systems take cool air that is already dry and warm it up, making it still dryer. In the summer, air conditioners take the humidity out of the air as they cool it. Assertiveness is expressing your needs and feelings while respecting others' needs and feelings. It is a way to communicate without being aggressive or passive.

Saturday, 4 July 2020

Will there ever be a second time around?

This point is helpful for irregular periods, menstrual cramps, and vaginal discharge. It can also relieve gas, irritable bowel syndrome, headache, and general weakness. Hold SP8, the point that is four finger-widths down from the knee crease on the inner side of the lower leg. This point regulates menstruation and the uterus, and is useful for irregular menstruation, impotence, and lower-back cramps during menstruation. Hold SP6, the point that is three finger-widths up from the inner ankle, just behind the shinbone. You can think about this like a triangle shape in the bottom half of your face. When you're younger, the base of the triangle is at the top, with the definition at the two corners of your cheekbones, moving to a point at your chin. As you age, the definition - the base of the triangle - moves towards your jawline with the point at your nose. So, the products you're applying need to go from protecting to repairing and supporting. This photo is me in my 40s. The definition has all fallen towards my jawline. The collagen in my skin is massively depleted, therefore the structure of my skin has naturally altered. No amount of product will lift that cheek pad, no matter what the marketing on the packet says. The only thing that will lift this is a needle. LIFE HAPPENS We mistakenly believe that our interests are different from our neighbor's and act to oppose the so-called enemy. The changing nature of the world is forcing us to change our thinking. We live in a global economy and environment where all fates are interconnected. When rain forests are cut down in the Amazon, the climate is warmed in New York. What happens to my neighbor directly impacts my life.

Take time to meditate on the oneness of humankind. See yourself as a citizen of planet Earth as well as a member of the human community, not bound to any group or nation. We are one body. As each of us makes this shift in consciousness, ripples will spread through the group mind until we recognize the truth expressed by the comic strip character Pogo: ''We has met the enemy, and he is us. Affirmations If you want to move forward and make something happen, and you've mapped out the plan to get there, then you need to do that which it takes to make it happen. There's no duality. What you need to lead and what you actually put together must correlate. Challenging the old conversations requires that you stir the pot, not just for the sake of mixing things up, but to actually make a change. That requires action. There's a lot of literature suggesting that introspection and self-assessment are helpful tools of change. This concept is: be-do-have. I'm not into that idea. While good thinking is necessary, it's not sufficient. The key to change is action. Some things you can do to connect with what you're feeling include reaching out to your child or loved one and sharing a meaningful story that's been on your mind, looking through photos from the past that make you happy, and making a favorite meal from your or your child's youth. While we can never go back in time, we can honor our shadow emotions by giving ourselves permission to feel and to be compassionate with ourselves. At the Heart of Missing, Longing, and Yearning At the heart of the shadow emotions of missing, longing, and yearning is the intense desire for a sense of comfort, security, and connection and the ability to go back to a time, person, or place that represents a peaceful, calm, enjoyable, soothing, and happy time. When we experience these emotions, we are stuck between points of time: the past (we wish we could go backward in time) and the future (we want something to look forward to, a hopeful sign that things will be different and what we have lost will be made whole again).

At the core of these shadow emotions is a desire to be connected and to honor what is most important, meaningful, and valued in your life. Reframing Your Mantra Thoughts are powerful. Your self-talk has a deep impact on what you feel and how you respond. Keep this principle in mind and reframe problematic thoughts that increase your shadow emotions. This simple exercise reminds you that you are worthy and capable of receiving good things and gives you permission to open yourself up to them in the future. ALLOW OTHERS TO GIVE YOU FEEDBACK A great way to open yourself up to receiving is to practice receiving feedback from others. It can be scary to get feedback on something, especially if it's something really personal to you, like a work of art, but closing yourself off from feedback is not a good option. It keeps you from being truly open and vulnerable, and it robs you of some great ideas and advice. To practice being more open to feedback, give this meditation a shot. Think about what it means to get feedback from others. Does it make your efforts any less meaningful? Does it take away from the experience of creating whatever you produced? The answer is no, unless you allow that to happen. The goal of this organization is to promote the allocation of available sunlight and darkness in a manner that provides the greatest peace, safety and well-being to the citizens of Indiana by returning the state to its geographically correct Central Time Zone. Dillon became deeply involved in the issue after a terrible incident in her town. In January 2009 a local fifteen-year-old student slipped and fell under the wheels of his school bus, she explains. This accident occurred at six forty-five AM, and the boy wasn't found for another twenty minutes. That pushed me over from writing my annual letter to the editor to becoming an activist.

This student and his family had emigrated from China two years prior to the accident. He was an only son. They came to Carmel because its school system is one of the best in Indiana and they wanted the best for their son. Now he is dead and morning darkness was a major contributing factor. This is just one of many cases in which schoolchildren have been injured or placed in danger on their way to school in winter morning darkness. As you start to make sleep more of a priority, these steps will come more naturally (see the lifestyle guide )! Getting more exercise during the day can help you fall asleep easier as well as improve the quality of your sleep. If you are having trouble with your sleep and don't get much exercise, try starting a gentle exercise like walking or yoga. If you do well with more intense exercise, you can try running, cycling, lifting weights, or anything else that you find pleasurable that is also not too energy-depleting--just don't do these activities in the few hours before bed! We'll be talking more about optimal exercise in article 6 . Supplementation You'll need guidance from your health-care team here, but there are some supplements that can be helpful for troubleshooting issues with sleep, like magnesium, various herbal preparations, and other nutrients. Most people find that taking magnesium before bed helps them relax and fall asleep more easily. We don't recommend melatonin unless prescribed by a doctor because it can cause the body to make less of this essential hormone. There are other herbs and nutrients that can be helpful for balancing sleep. Scientists have long known that inulin and oligofructose prevent obesity caused by a high-fat diet as well as many of the gastrointestinal complications that normally follow, such as intestinal bacteria imbalances and leaky gut. Many recent human studies have confirmed animal studies of this phenomenon. Other studies have used higher levels, showing that sixteen grams of inulin-rich prebiotic fiber each day increases levels of two protective bacterial strains (Bifidobacterium and Faecalibacterium prausnitzii ) that are known to increase healthy SCFA. One study showed that prebiotic fiber reduced intestinal endotoxin and improved blood-sugar control. Researchers have also found that daily inulin (10 grams) improves blood-sugar control and antioxidant status in people with type 2 diabetes.

Lastly, the prebiotic inulin may help offset the formation of leaky gut. Italian scientists showed that inulin-enriched pasta (14 grams/day) reduces zonulin signaling--the peptide involved in leaky gut development--and also increases the gut hormone GLP-2, which is involved in the maintenance of gut barrier function. To minimize your burden of endotoxin, drink a high-quality protein shake that delivers 8-12 grams of inulin daily. Drinking extra inulin is especially protective before consuming high-fat foods when you dine out or when you drink alcohol. EAT THIS (NOT THAT) This point is effective for bloating, fluid retention, abdominal cramps, and vaginal discharge. It can also help with insomnia, vertigo, and dizziness. Do not use this point if your partner is pregnant, as it can induce labor. Hold LV3, the point in the webbing between the big toe and second toe. This point is helpful for cramping pain, breast tenderness, and emotional symptoms of PMS (including anger, frustration, hopelessness, and irritability). Advanced Massage: Trigger Point Therapy (light to medium pressure, 2 to 3) Warm up your partner's muscles using one or more of the basic massage techniques before moving on to trigger point therapy. Uncover their leg and tuck the sheet under their other leg. Bend their leg at the knee and place it down with the sole of their foot on their other leg so that their inner thigh is exposed. Find a spot on your partner's inner thigh (the adductor muscle) that causes pain (or that sends pain to another area of the body) when you press it. Hormones are potentially the biggest skin disruptor of all. Hormones, hormones, hormones. They have a lot to answer for, and at certain times of our lives they RAGE. When this happens, and when illness happens, there are things you can do to help tackle the effects they have on the skin. It just takes a few tweaks to your kit.

Couldn't you pay the cost?

It's important to have a high and varied polyphenol-rich diet, because the compounds have been shown to be selective with regard to the type of microbial compounds they encourage. One study found black tea polyphenols increased some protective gut microbes, while red wine polyphenols were found to change another type. Polyphenols from cruciferous vegetables also indirectly influence the microbes in the intestine by modulating the immune system. FAT-BURNING FOODS The metabolically healthy, fat-fighting Bacteroidetes in the gut contain a significant amount of enzymes that are involved in the breakdown of polyphenol from colorful foods such as berries, green vegetables, and teas. Alternate pushing and pulling with your hands to knead the lower abdomen. Uncover your partner's leg and tuck the sheet under their other leg. Bend their leg at the knee and place it down with the sole of their foot on the other leg so that their inner thigh is exposed. Add lotion to your hands and rub them together to warm the lotion. Standing at your partner's side, place your hands palms down on the inside of their leg near the knee. Press your hands down, allowing your hands to follow the natural contours of their body. Glide your hands from your partner's knee up the inside of their thigh, using long, flowing strokes and slow, light pressure and ending up with both hands at the top of their leg. Repeat until their leg starts to turn pink and feels soft and warm, adding more lotion as needed. Basic Massage: Stretching Stand at your partner's side, facing their head. THE AGEING TRIANGLE Getting older should be seen as a privilege, not a problem. Some people don't get to see their 40th, 60th or 80th birthdays. Rather than whinging about ageing, let's be grateful that we're still here. This photo was taken when I was in my early 20s, before my collagen decided to go on holiday.

As you can see, all the definition is in the middle of my face. I have solid, high cheekbones, fat cheek pads and very few lines. My eyelids are not hooded and the area under the eye is full. As you age, your face shape changes. The production of collagen in your skin decreases rapidly after 30. Through many dangers, toils and snares I have already come. Tis grace that hath brought me safe thus far and grace John Newton Forty-Seven A fundamental principle of the universe is that of oneness. A basic unity connects all of creation. On a cellular level, the DNA of all living organisms is virtually identical. Despite appearances, we are more similar than different. Why, then, does conflict and fighting persist within the human family? Because the ego, the separate self, maintains the illusion of separateness. That's not going to work. There's no issue if people don't want to engage their Yes! Energy and energize their lives. That's their business. Similarly, I'm not one to stop someone from standing up tall and declaring she wants to make $10 million.

And keep a job. But I don't live on Fantasy Island, and I don't think it's productive for others to either. While visions and dreams can be, and should be, as far-out as possible, short-term objectives and periodic goals must be realistic, or the sequence of steps necessary to catalyze the Energy Equation won't work. As long as people reconcile what they say and what they do, then I can root for any objective. But when I see folks stand up and tell me they want something, and then they don't do what it takes to get there, that's just a waste of time. But if you ignore this craving, chances are that the feeling will get louder and more disruptive, breaking its way into your thoughts and feelings, asking and then forcing you to pay attention. Missing, longing, and yearning in motherhood show up in many ways: when we endure the loss of a pregnancy, when we experience the longing to be a mother, when we desire to have another baby but face the struggle of infertility, when our toddlers throw a tantrum with wild, irrational abandon and we long for the days when we could leave the house or get through a meal without a battle. We can also experience missing, longing, and yearning as our children mature. For example, we may miss those toddler days and long for our children to sit on our laps for storytime and snuggles. But as school-age children, they are focused on independence, and their friends begin to take priority. When our children are teenagers, we long for them to let us into their world; And as mothers of college students, young adults, and grown adult children who have launched into a new phase of independence and autonomy, we long for the days when they slept under our roof and we had moments to connect by living together. Motherhood has many moments of longing, moments in which we wish that we could recapture the joyous parts of raising children. Being able to acknowledge these shadow moments creates an opportunity for you to connect deeply with what you're feeling. Perhaps what you need to do is cry in order to release the tension you're holding. Grab your journal or a notearticle and something to write with and take the steps to prepare yourself for meditation. Think of at least three things you like about yourself. Write these down. Think of at least three good things that have happened to you. Write these down as well.

Think of an opportunity you missed out on, preferably one that you could have easily taken advantage of if you were open to it. Look over what you have written. Now, read the three things you like about yourself out loud, then end with, I deserve to receive good things. Read the three good things that happened to you out loud, then say, I am able to receive good things. Read the opportunity you missed out loud and finish with, I will be open to receiving good things. The world we actually live in is not quite ideal, however. The lines of longitude that geographers drew run ruler-straight, but the borders of time zones owe as much to politicians as to geographers. State and national boundaries, rivers, mountain ranges--almost anything can be an excuse to fiddle with time zones. In Indiana, the state legislature decided that a large swath of land that belongs geographically to the Central time zone should be in the Eastern time zone instead (to stay in sync with Wall Street! And some parts of the world brush aside the notion of time zones altogether. China, for example, uses only one time zone for the entire country, even though its east-west expanse would entitle it to have four or five different zones. The result is that in China's far western areas, the sun may not arrive at its highest point in the sky until 3 PM! In response to this, the workday in these areas generally starts an hour or even two hours later than in most of the country. A Report from the Front Sue Dillon of Carmel, Indiana, is president of the Central Time Coalition. This might be something as simple as washing your face and doing a short meditation, reading a article (careful with novels that are too intense or stimulating! Avoid watching TV, working, having tense discussions, doing strenuous exercise, paying bills, scrolling social media, or anything else that is going to prevent you from relaxing and falling asleep. Equally important is making sure your sleep environment is comfortable and conducive to sleep. Your bed should be clean and cozy and your room cool and dark. If there is too much light coming in through your windows, consider investing in blackout shades, and make sure to cover up any blinking or solid lights from electronic devices with dark tape (or better yet--get them out of the bedroom!

If you can't control the light situation, you may want to purchase an eye mask. If noise is an issue, you may want a device to make white noise (an air purifier or fan helps here) or to use earplugs. If you can, get all technology out of the bedroom and don't use that space for working or watching television. Charge devices outside the bedroom, and make sure they are set not to ding, buzz, or beep during sleeping hours (for those of you who are worried about emergencies, you can set many devices to ring on second call or have a select few numbers who can always reach you). Some of these recommendations are among the most difficult to implement, because poor sleep hygiene is ingrained in our culture. In contrast, Firmicutes bacteria, which increase in obesity, contain a smaller proportion of enzymes known to degrade these polyphenols.Therefore, these bacteria don't flourish in the presence of polyphenol foods. Moreover, polyphenols may have suppressive effects on the growth of fat-promoting Firmicutes in the gut. So by eating a diet rich in colorful vegetables and fruits, one is going to favor the proper balance of gut microbes--that is, a high Bacteroidetes/Firmicutes ratio--optimal levels of healthy SCFA, a sufficient gut barrier function, and few endotoxin. There are no polyphenols in processed cereal grains. By eating processed grains, you enhance the growth of bacteria that thrive on carbohydrates and risk creating inflammation, gastrointestinal permeability, leptin resistance, and obesity. PREBIOTIC FIBER Prebiotics are the non-digestible fibers that fuel the growth of healthy intestinal bacteria, namely the Bifidobacterium species. Breast milk, for example, features more than two hundred different oligosaccharides that stimulate healthy bacterial growth in the infant intestine. Other available forms of prebiotics are fructo-oligosaccharides (FOS), galacto-oligosaccharides (GOS), and xylo-oligosaccharides (XOS). Inulin and GOS have the most positive research. Clasp your hands over their tailbone and press the heels of your hands into the sides of their tailbone, lifting as you press. Move to their head and face their feet. Stack your hands over their tailbone and press the heels of your hands down, pushing toward your partner's feet to stretch their lower back. Basic Massage: Acupressure (light pressure, 1 to 2) Hold CV6, the point that is two finger-widths down from the belly button at the center of the abdomen.