Thursday, 28 May 2020

Building healthy self-worth

At the end of each piece of writing, we reference a piece of writing playlist in keeping with our journey metaphor: Songs and Films for the Road. Thankfully, we now have wearable technology. Small, wireless gizmos that you wear on your finger, forehead, abdomen, or wrist can measure your health. They can monitor your pulse, oxygen levels, blood pressure, and the quality of your sleep. These electronic wonders can continuously track your blood sugar and measure important labs. In my clinics, we employ these cutting-edge devices to create customized treatment plans. We use the patient's actual (and real-time) response to food and medicine to guide medication management and dietary changes. In my view, that's the only safe way to make dietary recommendations and prescribe chronic medications. We'll cover how to use wearable technology to fight aging in piece of writing 4. Who Should Read `Why Doctors Skip Breakfast' You wake up in the morning feeling groggy. Then see for yourself by doing this simple exercise. What you are doing now usually happens to a person who is angry. Feelings are not in the head, no. Like our thoughts, feelings are born in the body. Engage the muscles associated with the emotions--and you activate the senses, begin the mental process, which in turn will have an impact on your body again. In this case, we are talking about the autonomic nervous system. You may not have noticed that during this exercise, your heart rate increased by 10-15 beats, the blood rushed to your hands, causing them to become warmer and a slight tingling appeared in them. How did it happen? When you did the exercise, you told your nervous system that you were angry.

She immediately responded properly. Can you see anything beyond the beach? How cold is the water? If any other thoughts come into your mind while you are doing the exercise, let them gently drift away and take your attention back to the image. Take a moment to jot down a few of the most important and long-held beliefs you hold. Then, next to the belief, write down when you started believing it and when was the last time, if ever, that you revisited the belief. With your eyes still closed, identify a belief that you hold, something that you hold dear or something that, thinking about it now, you realise has shaped and defined you and your life in some way. That is your first step in a very exciting and liberating journey. As you dig down, you will find that at the centre of resilience is the important trio of belief, attitude and meaning. For a few days, try to be aware of the beliefs that you hold, the attitudes you have to the important things in your life and the things that give your life meaning. As with mindfulness, it's really about noticing, learning to spot and identify your beliefs. This is because the values that people attach to items vary from one person to another and so does the financial abilities of individuals. A good businessman is able to appraise a potential buyer and adjust accordingly. This is to say that a prudent business person may not treat everyone that walks into his or her store the same way. Take for instance a situation where an obviously well to do business executive walks into an electrical outlet looking to buy a television set. The first selling points regarding such a person would be his general demeanor and his dress code. These two things alone would be enough to tell the salesperson where to begin the tour on the available sets. Take another instance where your average Joe walks into the same store also looking to buy a television set. For better comparison, let us assume that the store is bent on pushing a particular brand for different purposes. Just like was the case with the first customer, there are some indicators that will act as the selling points for the customer's financial ability, tastes, and preferences.

What then, is a good salesperson to do if they are to sell the two very different customers the same item? Would you buy it? Of course you would! Because you are already reading a article on success, it should come as no surprise to you that there are many good articles and tapes on the subject of creating wealth. But if you don't have to be rich you probably won't read them or take the time to listen to them. There is an old saying, Necessity is the mother of invention. How true! With that in mind, always work on your reasons first and the answers second. The big question you'll need to answer for yourself is: What motivates me? Different things motivate different people. We all have our own hot buttons. All of these playlists can be found on the website for this article, drmattarticle. com. Our recommendation of these implies no ownership: it's simply good stuff. Take what you like and leave the rest. As stated in the Introduction, the relationship between therapist and client is integral to recovery. For an example of how multimedia inputs can set up and aid the relationship part of the process of recovery, Beth's story about the first phase of her own treatment is presented below. It shows how the relationship between Dr Jaremko and her was made strong and collaborative by using a playlist of music relevant to her life: past, present, and future. I sent Dr Jaremko an email a few months after my therapy started. The subject line: Things I know for sure: (a convergence).

I don't remember everything I said in the email, but I do recall the essence of it, which was: I am utterly alone. Work is harder than it used to be. You're less focused, less energetic, and less creative. Your mood is off. You go to your best friend and he says you're just getting older. You visit your doctor and she says that everything checks out fine. Everyone tells you to get some more sleep, exercise, and broccoli. To make matters worse, the mirror is no longer your friend. The face staring back is losing its vitality. Your dimples transform into wrinkles and your hair grows gray. The bags under your eyes darken. The principle works in both directions. If you think this is not surprising, everything is simple and logical. Thinking, we influence our body. Acting, we influence our thoughts. If it still seems strange to you, perhaps the fact is that you understand a physical object as a body, and a process as a thought, then our body and our thoughts are a single biological process. Believe me, Descartes was wrong! As I said, our body and our mind interact, moreover, they are one. Realizing this fact, we are a few steps closer to learning to analyze the thoughts of other people. Moreover, for this, you first need to learn how to observe other people and notice even minor physical reactions.

In my understanding, reading thoughts means seeing a physical reflection of the processes occurring inside a person. There are probably beliefs that you hold that, deep down, you know are there. Others will pop up and absolutely surprise you. We humans have beliefs about some pretty crazy things. When we're training, Andy talks about one of his, which is the belief that, after you knock or ring the bell to go into someone's house, you must step back from the step before they get to the door! And we've learned that a belief that seems ridiculous to one person will seem perfectly sensible to someone else. Recognising a belief We find it's easiest to unpick if you think, for a moment, about anyone on TV or in public life who drives you mad - we all have one. Now focus for a moment on meaning. We said that, over the course, you would gradually identify the beliefs that are most helpful and most important to you and bring them to the centre of your life. If you can marry your deepest beliefs, your meaning, your values, with your goals, then your objectives become so much easier to achieve. There are several different marketing strategies that have been tested and proven to work. You just have to pick the right one depending on the potential client and the prevailing circumstances. I will take you through how both clients may be `driven' into purchasing the same model despite their obvious financial differences. The success of the same is to be taken as an example to just how manipulative salespeople can be without the slightest suspicion of their victims. It is obvious that the first client, a business executive, has tastes that are bound to rhyme with his financial status. As such, an observant salesperson would know straight away that such an individual would be looking to buy the best television set there is. For his case, money may not be an issue when it comes to deciding which set to go home with. He would most likely also accept all the extra accessories and installation services that come at an extra cost. Knowing this, a salesperson may be tempted to take him straight to the set they intend to sell seeing as though he has the capacity to buy it without any qualms.

Seeking help from a healthcare professional

A new thought involves a new constellation of brain cells, which in turn can trigger the release of hormones in the body or affect the body's autonomic nervous system, which controls the respiratory processes, pupil size, blood circulation, sweating, etc A belief can be a broad belief, for example relating to politics, religion, race, gender, sexuality, life choices, human rights or the law. Or it can be a specific belief relating to people, situations or aspects of your life. We are going to ask you now to take the first step of identifying a fundamental belief, something that has a profound effect on the life you lead and the choices you make. We're leading in with a mindfulness exercise to place you into the best possible learning state. This exercise is called Image Breathing. We will do it a few times through the programme, each time with a slightly deeper application. As with many of our exercises, Image Breathing employs the imagination. It attaches the breath to calming or reassuring personalised mental images. Again, begin by getting yourself as comfortable as possible, either sitting or lying down. If you are sitting, make sure that you have legs uncrossed and hands either on your lap or on your knees. This is where the second type of advertising (persuasive) comes in. This section will deal with the different types of persuasive advertising and give common examples of instances of the same. How many times have you run into adverts that are seemingly very attractive but are non-specific when you consider them deeply? Such adverts are usually connected with post-purchase advantages of various items. A good example that I am sure you have come into or will in the future is Buy this item and benefit from a ten percent discount and an extended warranty. I have no problem with the first part of the advert. In fact, it seems genuine enough as a result of its specificity. However, the part on the extended warranty is where my problem with the advert lies. Just what is this extended warranty?

It would have been much more helpful to specify in the advert the exact amount of time covered by the warranty. Dreams are wonderful, but they are not enough. It's not sufficient to have a brilliant painting of the desired result. To erect a magnificent structure one must also have a step-by-step blueprint of how to lay the foundation, support the structure, and so on. And for that we need goals. Like a well-defined dream, well-defined goals work like magnets. They pull you in their direction. The better YOU DEFINE them, the better YOU DESCRIBE them, the harder YOU WORK on achieving them, the stronger THEY PULL. And believe me when I say that when the potholes of life threaten to stall you on the road to your success, you'll need a strong magnet to pull you forward. To understand how crucial goals are, observe the vast majority who do not have any goals. Instead of designing their lives, these misguided people simply make a living. No, Charlie, no! Mama! Mama! David panicked. Bev, we've got to get her some help. Ashley's going to need a lot more than you and I can give her. Soon thereafter, Ashley began treatment with Dr Matt, and she remained thus for the next four years. Now 19, Ashley is preparing to leave the safety of her parents' home and the support of the Thursday Night Therapy Group. She will venture into the world on her own, as a freshman in college.

Take a seat or be a fly on the wall, but either way, you're about to embark on the journey of your life. How do we know that that one blood pressure reading is actually representative of anything? That one measurement could be off for countless reasons. Maybe the cuff is too small? Were you running late to the appointment and felt nervous? Perhaps you just had an argument with your teenage daughter that morning and you're agitated. What if you just had a huge (and unhealthy) business dinner last night and drank a bit more than you should. That one follow-up blood pressure check in the clinic can completely mislead your doctor and result in bad medical care. That's why we need a new way to monitor how folks respond to treatment. We can't rely on generalizations or snapshot measurements. We need something better, something that shows us how someone responds over time. All thoughts somehow affect the body. Sometimes this influence is pronounced, sometimes barely noticeable. For example, when you are afraid, you experience dry mouth and blood rushes to your leg muscles so that you can flee as soon as possible. If, when you see a cashier in the supermarket, erotic fantasies arise in your head, you will immediately feel arousal in your body. Even if the physical response is difficult to notice, it is always present. That is why, judging by the appearance, we can determine how a person feels, what he thinks and what he fears. Developing your observation abilities, you will be able to see something that you just didn't pay attention to before. Each of our thought is reflected in our body. Just like everything that happens in our body is reflected in our thoughts.

Do not believe? Take a moment to just be aware of the parts of your body that have contact with the chair or with the floor. Take two breaths, slightly deeper than you would normally take, breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth. As this is the first time that you have done the exercise, rather than choose your own image, we'd like you to think of a beautiful beach on a sunny day. You are standing in the sea looking in towards the land. On each breath in, imagine the water gathering and, on each breath out, imagine that your breath is pushing the wave up onto the beach. We're going to take four breaths. Keep focussed on the image of the beach. Really use your imagination - think of the details of what it is that you are seeing. What colour is the sand? What is the weather like? You will be surprised to learn the extent of such and other forms of treachery in adverts. They would be far more informative and trustworthy if they were more specific. The first one, for instance, should have expressed the shelf-life in exact time while the second one should have stated the initial price of the item. Although not all advert statements similar to these are designed to mislead, a significant number of them are. The primary targets for such adverts are those shoppers who may be in a hurry to purchase items. Specifically, they target those people who may not be loyal to any brands and are therefore dependent on adverts to make their choices. When you are in a hurry and have to purchase something, it would make perfect sense to settle for the one with the extended warranty and shelf-life even though you may not have a clue just how extended they are. Believe it or not, but how items are priced can be used as a manipulative tool to dictate purchasing tendencies. You may disagree with this statement by arguing that goods are priced based primarily on their value.

You will not be wrong from this argument but yours would be a rather myopic view of how business is conducted. They fight every day of their lives in the war zone of economic survival, choosing existence over substance. No wonder Thoreau said, Most people live lives of quiet desperation. Since then I've discovered this: Reasons come first, answers second. It seems that life has a mysterious quirk of camouflaging the answers in such a way that they become apparent only to those who are inspired enough to look for them -- who have reasons to look for them. Let's put it another way. When you know what you want and you want it badly enough, you'll find a way to get it. The answers, methods, and solutions you need to solve the problems along the way will be revealed to you. Hey, what if you had to be rich? What if the very life of someone you love depended on your being able to afford the very best medical care? Let's further suppose that you just learned of a article or a cassette tape that would show you how to make a fortune. Welcome to Trauma Recovery: Sessions With Dr Matt. If you are a survivor of sexual abuse or assault, please accept our especially warm welcome. We know how scary it is even to pick up a article that deals with the truths of trauma recovery, much less begin reading it. Trauma Recovery: Sessions With Dr Matt is a starting place for hurting people who are seeking healing, either on their own or in partnership with a therapist or other helping person. Dr Jaremko will be your guide, maximizing your understanding of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) by explaining its origins in easy-to-understand language and offering insight into the process of reclaiming your life from trauma. Beth Fehlbaum will share her insight from the perspective of a recovering person. We encourage you to read Trauma Recovery: Sessions With Dr Matt from beginning to end. In these articles, you will find a variety of methods for teaching vital concepts you need to know in order to get the most out of treatment for the recovery from PTSD. articles, music, movies, videos, and television can be powerful inspirational tools for healing, understanding, and reflecting.

Awareness to action

Such manipulation schemes are often executed in batches. Knowledge, or the lack of it, will also shape our lives. So can the results of our efforts -- we can either be elated or deflated based on our ability to achieve those desired results. But of all the factors that affect our lives, none has as much potential power for doing good as our ability to dream. Dreams are a projection of the life we wish to lead. Therefore, when we allow them to pull us, our dreams unleash a creative force that can overpower all obstacles hindering the attainment of our objectives. To unharness this power, however, dreams must be well-defined. A fuzzy future has little pull power. To really achieve your dreams, to really have your future plans pull you, your dreams must be vivid. Now, there are two ways to face the future: You can face the future with anticipation or you can face it with apprehension Guess how many people face the future with apprehension? Right, most do. Why's she sitting in there like that? Is that. blood on her face? Ben, please go call your dad. Tell him we need him here. Bev? Ashley's voice sounded to her like it was coming from someone else. Yeah, Ash? Could you close the door, please?

She did as Ashley asked, leaving the girl covered in darkness again. We're all unique and each of our bodies will react differently to challenges and treatment. While we will share tips and tricks that will benefit everyone, you'll need to focus your reading on issues that matter most to you. To help you along the way, we'll explain how to use specialized lab tests and wearable technology to create a custom wellness plan designed for you. Wearables and the science of you There is a revolution in healthcare. We are starting to understand that one size doesn't fit all. Since we each have our own biology and respond differently, our medical care needs to be customized. The problem is that up to now, doctors haven't had an easy way to check whether our treatment recommendations actually worked. Imagine this. You go to the doctor to treat your high blood pressure (hypertension). No less dangerous is a situation in which a person believes that he knows the thoughts of another, and in reality, only projects his own thoughts onto his behavior. No, she will hate me! She smiles as if she's doing something stupid. As I thought! Such projection is often called the Othello error, and we will consider it later in this article. To understand the process of reading thoughts and its principles, you must first define one important concept. The cold stone floor of a Swedish castle turned out to be a fatal test for his health. Among a number of clever thoughts, Descartes encounters many mistakes. Shortly before his death, he declared that the body and mind are different, unrelated things.

It would seem that nothing could be more stupid than this statement. Surely our identity would start to peel like an onion? It will not! It will grow exponentially - because the beliefs you will have at the end of the process will be real. They will suit you now - suit you and your purpose, suit your goals, and then you will be free to go on to really achieve. Most, if not all of us, are creatures of habit, resistant to change. Foods we hated in our childhood we will continue to avoid without ever seeing if our tastes have changed. Our instinct to `stick with' is even stronger with beliefs. What is a belief? We've been talking since the beginning of the article about beliefs. Before we go on, let's think about what we mean by a belief. This is to say that it is rare to have a single fool-proof plan to sway customers, but rather, separate methods are executed in conjunction with each other in order to achieve the best results. The methods through which business people manipulate their clients are numerous. While some may be considered prudent business measures, others border on the downright shady and illegal. Some business owners have been known to pull no stops in their efforts to milk the clients of their bottom dollars. As such it is important to learn how some of these methods are used, how to spot a manipulative businessman, and best of all, how not to fall prey to their scheming minds and tactics. In business, there are two types of advertising. The first kind is the straightforward type where what you hear or perceive is what you get. This is the honest type of advertising that is void of any trickery or manipulation of potential buyers. Seldom this type of advertising brings profits in the form of improved sales.

This is because customers need to be given reasons why they want to buy an item rather than just being given the specifications of various items. You've seen the type -- always worrying, worrying, worrying. Why are these individuals so apprehensive? Because they haven't spent time designing their futures. In many cases, they live their lives by trying to win the approval of someone else. In the process, they end up buying into someone else's view of how life should be lived. No wonder they are worried -- always looking around, seeking approval for everything they do. On the other hand, those who face the future with anticipation have planned a future worth getting excited about. They can see the future in their mind's eye, and it looks terrific. The future captures their imagination, and it exerts an enormous pull on them. THE POWER OF WELL-DEFINED GOALS Moments later, Ashley's father, David, opened the wardrobe door all the way and spoke softly. Hey, girl, looks like you did a job on your face. Come on out of there and we'll get you cleaned up. Ashley didn't move. She wanted to do as David asked, but she was so lost inside herself that she couldn't even show him that she heard him. She questioned herself, knowing the truth about her mother and Charlie, but she experienced a collision between her ability to comprehend it and the horrifying reality of what she had been subjected to endure. She couldn't stay around when the crashing happened; she had to get away, to get inside herself so deeply that no one could touch her, or at least she wouldn't feel it if they did. David scooped Ashley out of the wardrobe, and when he picked her up, she thought he was Charlie.

She kicked her legs, clawed at him, looked right through him, and screamed, No! Your doc prescribes you a medication, recommends that you decrease your salt intake (as they often do), and sends you on your way. You're bummed because you now have to miss out on some of your favorite foods and take a potentially toxic drug. How do we determine whether the doctor's advice is working? Beyond that, how do we know whether you even have hypertension? Of course, you want your hypertension treated, but you don't want to use the wrong medicine and you certainly don't want to skip out on chow mein if you don't have to. How do we know whether the doctor's treatment is right for you? The current system is to start you on a drug and then have you return to the office a couple of months later for a repeat blood pressure check. Based on this one reading, the doc will decide whether the treatment plan is working or if she needs to try something new. Think about that for a second. One blood pressure reading, just a snapshot in time, is all the data the doctor currently has to decide whether to continue or modify a potentially life-changing medication. Of course, even at that time, there were people who understood that Descartes made a mistake, but their timid voices were drowned in violent exultation about the genius of the scientist. However, despite the scientifically based facts, we still believe in the nonsense, spoken by Descartes. Most of us, often unconsciously, draw an invisible boundary between body and mind. To understand the content of this article, you will have to come to terms with the fact that the mind and body of a person are one, no matter how hard it is to believe. This is a scientifically proven fact. Any thought of yours finds physical expression in your body. A thought creates an electrical impulse in brain cells that send signals to each other. Each signal has its own differences. For example, if this thought has already crossed your mind, the signal will be familiar and just repeated.

Self-worth and health

The wardrobe door opened slowly, and her stepmother, Bev, leaned in. We all know someone like this. Let's call her Jane. Jane can eat pizza every day. She has dessert with each meal and is never one to pass on seconds. Her only exercise is walking to and from her car. Yet, she's thin, energetic, and always smiling. When she goes to her doctor for her annual checkup, everything looks great. She even has perfect eyesight. Unfortunately, most of us are not like Jane. I believe in the ability to read other people's thoughts. I believe one hundred percent. There is nothing difficult in this, for me to read the thoughts of other people is like listening to what they say. And I do not see any mystery in this. Reading thoughts as naturally as eating or breathing. In fact, we all read the mind--only, do it unconsciously. Someone succeeds better, someone worse, someone uses this talent, and someone does not. But I'm sure we can all develop this natural ability. That's what this article is about.

But what do I mean by read minds? It is interesting when we look at figures who have shown this resilience, this invincibility, that, in very many cases, there is a deep meaning at their core. They have something so strong that they believe in, that has literally powered them through the darkest of situations. I had the honour of meeting Terry Waite, who was held as a hostage for four years in the Lebanon. This meaning that had `helped him through' was almost palpable. When I met him in 2012, he had just returned to Beirut to be reconciled with his captors. Perhaps the most extreme case of this is that of Viktor Frankl who wrote the seminal article on resilience Man's Search for Meaning after being a prisoner in Auschwitz. 1 If resilience is something you want to focus on, you can do no better than read this. Actually everyone should read this; we all need good regular doses of inspiration. Thankfully, most of us do not undergo traumas on such a monumental scale, but the same principle applies. He is always the victim of circumstances and the environment around him. Deflectors have perfected the art of deflecting blame away from them. As such, it is always very difficult to win an argument with them. This is because they will find a way to change the conversation or twist it and turn you into the bad guy before you get a chance to make your point. A deflector will shift blame to the accuser using everything he has. In the end, he ends up disorienting everyone involved by masking the truth, misrepresenting facts, or changing topics. The best marketing plan for any business is to find out customer preferences and deliver it. This way, such a business ends up promoting customer loyalty, and also increases customer references as a way of advertising. The values that most customers hold dear are easy to identify since they are almost universal.

It would be in a good sense for any company to try and abide by these and other customer preferences. Of all the things I've learned since those early days, goal-setting has had the most profound effect on my life. Every aspect of my existence -- my accomplishments, my income, my bank balance, my lifestyle, my donations, even my personality -- changed for the better. I am so convinced that mastering goal-setting can have a profound effect on your life that I'm going to devote a great deal of space to discussing this often misunderstood process. In fact, I urge you to do more than just read the following articles. And if you have a notearticle handy, so much the better. Each and every one of our lives is affected by several factors. One of those factors is our environment -- where we live, what kind of parents we have, which schools we attend, who our friends are; each plays a role. We are also shaped by the events in our lives. A war, for example, can wrench all certainty from our psyche. Ashley turned her face to the back wall of the dresser. Ashley? Honey, I read the letter your grandmother sent you. Don't pay attention to her. She doesn't know what she's talking about. She must not know the whole story. Can you hear me? Will you look at me, please? When Ashley faced her stepmother, the woman gasped at the self-inflicted injuries.

Ashley's stepbrother, Ben, who stood in the doorway, asked, What's going on, Mom? We all come to the table with our own slate of medical problems and past dietary habits. But even beyond visible illnesses like diabetes or liver disease, we are different at the cellular level. Just as two people might respond to the stress of public speaking differently--one relishing the limelight while the other runs in fear--our bodies are designed to react differently to stresses at the microscopic level. Our genetic material, our DNA, is one of a kind. Each of us has slightly different versions of enzymes and proteins. Therefore, we react to chemical and physiologic stresses differently. Some substances that are harmless to Jane might be toxic for you. She may make a bag of chips disappear without a trace, while you'll gain weight just from looking at a potato. We're all different. While this piece of writing will examine the latest science you can use to fight aging, improve your mood, and strengthen your energy levels, not every technique will work equally for everybody. What do I mean when I say we do it every day unconsciously? What is it really? For a start, I will note what does not apply to the process of reading thoughts in my understanding. In psychology, they call reading minds (in plain English Mind Reading). The phenomenon is the result of which so many married couples find themselves at the reception of a psychotherapist--this happens when partners believe that one should know the thoughts of the other. If he really loves me, he should understand that I didn't want to go to that party. So what if I said yes? He should have known that I didn't want it. He doesn't care about me since he doesn't understand how I feel.

Requiring another person to know your thoughts is the height of egocentrism. If you can identify what is most important to you and bring it to the centre of your life, then everything else begins to fall into place around it. And when we say what is most important to you, we mean important to you now - not when you last thought about it which may be way back in the mists of time. We trained a lovely and extremely clever woman whose face fell as she reeled off her beliefs. It started with passion and ended in absolute confusion as she realised she had stated this list of beliefs to a lecturer at university whom she wanted badly to impress. Not only had she not revisited it in 22 years, though she had `repeated' it often, but it had not even been soundly true at the time. She had told him what she thought he wanted to hear. To some extent, this is true of most of us. We are loathe to change our fundamental beliefs. After all, if we start to mess around with them, where would we be? In fact, who would we be? However, this is not always the case. Company priorities may not be in sync with customer preferences. This is because often, the central goal for most businesses is to widen their profit margins as much as possible. As such, paying so much attention to their customer preferences may prove counterproductive. This is because producing the best quality products at low prices while offering good loyalty discounts may not make for the best business strategy. It is for this reason that many business holders have developed clever ways of `tricking' their customers so that everyone goes home satisfied. Advertising and miscommunication is often the area of target in manipulating clients. A well-designed advert holds the potential of significantly increasing the sales of a particular product. As a matter of fact, a well-executed advert can have the capacity of causing you to purchase something which you had no prior plan of purchasing.

Self-worth and career

I immediately want to clarify one important point. Next we're going to do a quick exercise to think about how we behave when we are feeling resilient (or not) - how resilience expresses itself in everyday life. Is resilience really something you can develop? Yes absolutely. Write out three simple situations from your work or home life that would require resilience. Then give a non-resilient and a resilient response to each of the situations. Your boss was supposed to give a talk this afternoon but she has gone home ill and, on her way out, told you that you would have to cover. Non-resilient response - There is no way I can do it! I don't know enough! I will make a fool of myself! Resilient response - Well it could be a great opportunity if I do it well. Such people are often so good in soliciting help from and often even come across as being genuinely polite in how they make their requests. The unsuspecting victims are left with no option but to agree to help them. This may not seem like a very sophisticated way of manipulation but depending on how it is applied, it can be one. Crucial alibis have been falsified and others forged where unsuspecting victims of the friend in need swear upon their lives the innocence of the clever masterminds. Often, the needy friend will make your decisions for you before you have the chance to decide. Statements such as `If it weren't for you, I don't know what I would do,' or `I know I can count on you for this small favor. ' make it very difficult for a target to refuse the needy friend's requests. As the name suggests, these are people who are very sly and are good at hiding this fact. A good snake would cause you to clash with someone by fanning enmity between both sides then take your side during the argument or clash.

As such, they succeed in blinding others from their treachery and present themselves as loyal friends. It's both material and spiritual, practical and mystical. Success is a process of turning away from something in order to turn toward something better -- from lethargy to exercise, from candy to fruit, from spending to investing. Success is responding to an invitation to change, to grow, to develop, and to become -- an invitation to move up to a better place in order to gain a better vantage point. But most of all, success is making your life what you want it to be. Considering all the possibilities, considering all the examples of others whose lives you admire, what do you want from your life? That is the big question! Remember, success is not a set of standards from our culture but rather a collection of personal values clearly defined and ultimately achieved. Making your life what you want it to be for you -- that is success. But how does one go about doing that? Just as I was about to finish my eggs, he said, Jim, let's take a look at your list of goals so that we can review and discuss them. Preceding each of the first six pieces of writing, you will find the backstory for a fictional participant of Dr Matt's Thursday Night Group therapy sessions. These sections are easily identifiable because they are in italics, and when fictional scenes are embedded within a teaching piece of writing, they are also in italics. From the time her stepfather began molesting her as a young child, all of Ashley Nicole Asher's energy went toward avoiding the horrid facts of her life. Six years after the abuse began, Ashley made an outcry--a report of the abuse--to her mother, but her mother took no action. The next day, a school friend noticed that Ashley was extremely distraught. After finding a note on a napkin in Ashley's lunch that asked Ashley to apologize to Charlie for upsetting him, Ashley's friend put 2+2 together and insisted that Ashley make an outcry to their trusted teacher. This led to Child Protective Services removing 15-year-old Ashley from her mom and stepdad's home and placing her with the biological father and his family, whom she had never known. However, just because she was taken from the home where the trauma occurred, she was not necessarily free of it.

Charlie, the molester, was in the Dallas area, at least 100 miles away from Ashley's dad's home in Patience, Texas, but when she freaked out, Ashley hid in the pine wardrobe in her room. You can unlock true stamina and get the most out of life. Career, family, friends, charity, and self-care. Once you're healthy and the clouds of depression and self-doubt lift, you really can have it all. In this piece of writing, we'll take a close look at what's robbing you of your energy and draining your vitality. One by one, we'll give you the roadmap to turn back the clock on aging, fight depression, improve your sleep, increase your focus, boost your energy, and unlock your potential. This piece of writing is full of tips you can easily do at home like diet, fasting, strategic caffeine, and proper sleep techniques. Together, we'll examine some cutting-edge medical interventions like ketamine, metformin, and sleep apnea treatment. We'll look at some of the coolest medical gizmos and wearable technology and explore how you can use them to get an edge. And we will make a list of labs you need to evaluate and optimize your health. This piece of writing will give you a clear pathway to unlock your full potential. I do not claim that everything written in this article is true. It is as subjective as Christian teaching, Buddhism, and Darwin's theory, so take it as a source of practical advice. Different people interpret different facial expressions and gestures--these are the keys to perceiving reality. Each person builds his own model of understanding the world, based on religion, philosophy or scientific data. Some people do not perceive psychology as a science, believing that the concept is too simplistic. I do not demand that you believe in what I teach and do not claim that my concept is the ultimate truth. I simply say: if you use the models I have proposed, you will get curious results, and in fact, you were striving to do this by opening this article--to satisfy your curiosity. Now, I take you on an interesting journey into the world of analyzing people. It involves a number of things, including understanding yourself, and the various types of people that you will come across.

The introduction, of course, cannot cover all of the concepts. I know most of it and I have a couple of hours to prepare. What underpins and powers our resilience? People used to think that resilience is something we are born with, that we either have or don't. But since we have known about neuroplasticity (which we will be looking at in article 3), we know that we can change the way our brain works and this includes developing and strengthening resilience. The way we respond to an event or situation depends on our beliefs and attitudes and the meaning that we attach to them. This is why a group of people will respond to the same event in any number of different ways. This is a key concept that we will revisit several times in the article. Think of a situation such as a mass redundancy. One person might see the redundancy as an absolute disaster. To another it might be a bump in the road, even an opportunity. It is very easy to trust such people when they themselves won't hesitate for a second to sell you out to drive their secret agendas. In most cases, the good snake does what he does when he has an angle to gain from having a good rapport with you. In so doing, the good snakes essentially disarm their targets from shooting down any and all of their requests after taking their sides. It is obvious that this kind of manipulation tactic only has a negative side to it. This is clear because the propagators hold all the cards from the word go. Their help, even though given apparently freely, is not genuine. This is because they are often the originators of the problems in the first place. With extra caution in dealing with people, it is possible to identify and avoid falling into ploys of such characters as will be shown in a later article. The deflector is never to blame for anything that goes wrong.

This is at least from his point of view. Maybe that's the best way I can help you right now. But I don't have a list with me, I replied. Well, is it out in your car or at home somewhere? No, sir, I don't have a list anywhere. Well, young man, looks like this is where we'd better start. Then, looking directly into my eyes, he said, If you don't have a list of your goals, I can guess your bank balance within a few hundred dollars. He guessed right. And that really got my attention. I was astonished. That day I became a student of the art and science of goal-setting. It was a large dresser with double doors that opened to drawers on the right side and a space for hanging clothes on the left. To Ashley, this oversized piece of furniture represented a suitable substitute for her closet, which was her hiding place in her family-of-origin's home. In the dark, small space, she held her breath, just as she did when she watched for light around the door from inside her closet, where she'd pray with every cell in her body that Charlie would not open the door and discover her in the only place she felt safe. Soon after Ashley arrived in Patience, she received a letter from her maternal grandmother in which the woman demanded that Ashley apologize to her parents for lying about being abused. Her grandmother was previously one of the most comforting people in Ashley's life, and these harsh words sent Ashley spiraling into self-destruction. Inside the pine wardrobe, Ashley clawed her face and neck, created deep wounds, and dissociated. When she popped back into awareness, her face throbbed, and her fingertips felt warm and wet. She was inside the wardrobe, staring at her hands, and she was surprised that her grandmother's letter wasn't still between her fingers. Apparently she'd closed her door when she'd gone to her room.

Streamline your shopping

He nods. That was the moment Jack realized that he had to turn his life around. Your alarm goes off, but you don't need it. You're already awake and full of energy to tackle the morning. You spring out of bed, do a few pushups to get the blood pumping, and take a quick cold shower. You head to the kitchen to brew a fresh cup of black coffee and then you're off to win the day. You go out and land a new deal, knowing that you're powered with enough stamina and self-confidence to get the job done. After work, you hit the gym or enjoy an invigorating run. You play with your kids and go out to dinner with friends. You're living the life of your dreams. When you have energy, vitality and health, you have it all. The why the model principle is also important in achieving effective communication of information and knowledge. Regardless of how complex a situation or system is if you explain it from the point of view of why? People are more likely to understand the concept faster. When we know the reason behind something then it becomes easier to build the rest of the knowledge about the system around that justification. This mental model helps us determine and understand motivation, intentions, objectives, and expected outcomes. It is useful in decision making, planning, and creating a strong sense of purpose and direction. Throughout history, social organization has divided people into rulers and subjects. Bias from over influence by authority is inculcated from a young age. We are taught to respect and obey authority figures as a way of maintaining order in society.

Authority gives people a sense of security arising from the sense that there is someone in control. Everything we do in this programme is evidenced by science. Much of that would not have been possible even 10 years ago. We're going to learn about CBT later in the article. We'll look at mindfulness now. What is mindfulness? Mindfulness has its roots in Buddhist meditation, although the practice of meditating has been widely used in many cultures throughout the ages. People will be coming to this article from all sorts of cultures and systems of belief. These spiritual beliefs are not necessary, but neither will they inhibit your progress. A simple definition is that mindfulness brings our attention to the present moment in order to experience life more clearly and more fully. The benefits of mindfulness practice have been evidenced in the many research studies from the top international universities. However, a closer examination will reveal that it can also be used as a manipulation tactic and can be a very strong one too. Many couples wind up in therapy for this very reason. It is important to mention at this point that acts of inexplicable rage and tantrum-throwing can be propagated without the intention of the propagator. This is to say that some people are just wired to be short-tempered and that their temperament can go a long way in influencing the actions of others. The success of this manipulation tactic is largely based on fear. This is because it is often accompanied by violence whenever a person feels that his needs are not met. A big percentage of the victims of such arrangements are females since they are mostly overpowered by their violent spouses. Many people may disregard this as a manipulative tactic by arguing that the victims almost always know that they are doing things out of fear or coercion. What is surprising about this tactic and its victims is how they are often reluctant to come forward and speak about the abuses that they face.

Sometimes these victims even go out of their way to protect the perpetrators of these heinous acts and in this way making it difficult to access help. Likewise, the word wealth embodies more than economic concepts. One can talk of the wealth of experience, the wealth of friendship, the wealth of love, the wealth of family, and the wealth of culture. For each of us, the specific amount required for us to feel wealthy will differ. Yet I'm sure that our basic dream is the same: to be free of financial pressures, to have freedom of choice, and to enjoy the opportunity to create and to share. What does wealth mean to you? How much money will it take for you to feel financially free? These are not idle questions. As you'll soon see, the more clearly defined your concepts about material wealth are, the more useful the ideas in this article will be to you. Happiness embraces the universal quest. It's a joy that usually accompanies positive activity. I do. He moves to his office and holds the door open for me. If I have a choice, I say, I choose hope. I follow him in, and I tell him my story. Introduction Overview Exposure to traumatic events has become the black plague of the twenty-first century: it's everywhere! It is generally believed that 70% of all people will experience a traumatic event in their lifetime (Sidran Institute, 2016); 20% of those will go on to develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Thus, recovery from trauma has become a major health and human services issue. What is wellness? I'm going to say it. Western medicine has the wrong goal. Our focus is off. Go into any doctor's office and all they'll talk about are individual diseases, abnormal lab values, and medications. They'll discuss your potassium levels, weight, and temperature. They will plot you on curves and zero in on individual organs. They're looking for a problem to treat with a drug. We mistakenly key in on little issues and abnormalities rather than the whole person. Doctors are constantly putting out fires rather than trying to make you (to borrow a phrase) better, stronger, and faster. By having the ability to question authority we can keen excessive power and the abuse of this power in check. Dictators over time have been known to commit grievous atrocities because they commanded absolute power and authority over their subject. Authority like any other responsibility and privilege needs to have checks and balances to keep it within the boundaries of reason and political correctness. Thinking backward is more effective in tackling a problem because it deconstructs a situation making simple concepts out of a complex situation. Thinking backward helps us in recognizing the obstacles that are between us and our goals and with this knowledge we can work on eliminating them. Inversion is also effective because in breaking down complex situations into smaller bits the situation becomes less overwhelming and easier to understand. We can address the situation concept by concept instead of looking at a problem as an insurmountable mountain. Inversion also clarifies the consequences of a specific course of action and these not only help in picking the best scenario for the desired outcome but also helps in handling stress and anxiety that comes with the fear of the unknown. When you are able to anticipate what will happen you are more likely to remain calm since you are prepared mentally for what is to come.

Self-awareness is crucial in identifying our level of personal competence. A general and often profound sense of wellbeing and an increase in positivity and motivation. It's worth thinking about what we mean by `more clearly and more fully'. How do we experience life more clearly and more fully? First task for you, then. Tomorrow try looking out, all day, for the colour blue. Not only will you see more blue than you dreamed existed, but the colour itself will get more and more blue through the day. One of the real and valuable benefits from this programme is that your sensory input will be sharper than it has ever been, because the brain works much more effectively when it is focussed on only one task. I hear bird song and I notice butterflies and I taste my food. Andy says that the simple task of taking his dogs for a walk has been completely transformed. It's extraordinary how much richer a world you will be living in, and how much this alone helps you on the journey towards cup half full. There is a lot of manipulation that goes on in a family setting. Parents need to raise their children with their desired ideals and children require the attention of their parents. This requirement makes it necessary to use certain psychological manipulation skills that will ensure that every party involved comes out satisfied. It is noteworthy that not all techniques of influence that exist among children and their parents are voluntary. Some of them, especially those used by children on their parents are honed over time from a very young age as will be discussed in this article. Another point to note is that such manipulations within the family setting can be two-sided. Some of them are done with the best intentions at heart and therefore end up doing more good than harm whereas others are done to drive hidden selfish agendas. The former mostly refers to those tactics used by parents whereas the latter has more to do with how children manipulate their parents. A perfect example that is common to this effect is when a child feigns injury or illness to get out of performing chores or even going to school.

Wednesday, 27 May 2020

What didn't work today?

Discover what mental models are working for you. This woman also might feel sexier if she had a free hour away from her kids, when she'd have a chance to take a relaxing bath, read a article, talk to a friend, or maybe just take a nap. Perhaps her sex drive would be reawakened if she and her husband did the dishes together, using that quiet after-dinner time to reconnect, chat about their day, and remember why they once loved each other enough to get married. Maybe if her husband did the dishes for her, she would find herself really turned on! Because we're all multitasking so much these days, it's often hard to be present, paying attention to one another and to ourselves. Perhaps if she and her husband just slowed down and remembered how important it is to be in the moment, that might go a long way toward reawakening their intimacy and, ultimately, improving their sexual experience. Or perhaps she and her partner would benefit from learning to communicate differently about sex, so that she could ask for what she wants without embarrassment and he could better understand how to please her without anxiety. Another key factor in sexual interest has to do with how long you and your partner have been together. A great deal of scientific research shows that when a couple first falls in love, they may experience up to 18 months of intense excitement, including sexual excitement. Then, if the couple stays together, the sexual heat mellows and deepens into a more profound feeling of love. If the couple wants to recapture some of the old thrill, they need to find new ways to excite themselves and each other. One woman flew over the cemetery and then to heaven to see a child who had died. When people finished responding, Iega held the silence in the room for a moment, honoring the breadth of emotions, balancing the lightness of the joy with the weight of sorrow and loss. This powerful experience was in the first three weeks of the three-year project. We knew we were going to train the staff. We knew we were focusing on the Peter Pan story, and gradually building a play at three of the twelve homes. While we did not know what that play would be yet, clearly we would be doing this exercise again. And again and again. Over the next couple of months, the staff completed TimeSlips's online training and the artists in residence visited their sites. They modeled a whole range of creative engagement techniques and started exploring the story with staff and elders.

In eastern Kentucky, Bob Martin led story workshops. Use those more. A great way to start your mental model change is to exercise. Not only will it help your body but, it will also improve your mind. When our bodies are in motion, we are releasing stress from our brain and our body. Our mood is better. We can begin to think clearly. Exercise does so much for the mind and body. Eating healthy foods can also boost brainpower. Our body needs fuel to function properly right along with our brain. Not just food like fast food, or junk food but, real food like veggies, fruits, whole grains, lean meats. Sometimes we do need to tweak a woman's hormone levels, and when a woman tells me about her low sex drive, I make sure to run tests on thyroid and sex hormones, as well as doing other comprehensive blood work to ensure that other abnormalities are not present. But a woman's libido is not just the product of biology. Her self-esteem, her hopes and dreams, her creativity, her relationship with her partner--all of these play an important role in her sexual feelings, as do her sense of religion and morality, her ideas about what a good woman should be like, and her connection to her sensuality. I am often struck by our culture's split personality when it comes to sex and sexuality, particularly for women. On the one hand, we have so many puritanical attitudes, which can make it difficult to enjoy sex or revel in our sensuality. On the other hand, we are bombarded by sexualized images that sometimes border on pornography, images that sometimes make it seem as though sex is everywhere. Isn't it interesting that, seemingly out of nowhere, the erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey suddenly became such a big hit? Despite our publicly puritanical culture, there sure seems to be a lot of interest in sex and sensuality going on behind the scenes! In such an environment, figuring out your own personal version of sexuality and sensuality can be challenging, to say the least.

Is there a lusty, wanton, sexy woman inside you? In the four homes clustered around Bowling Green, visual artist Andee Rudloff invited the elders to create models of their homes and paint murals together. Closer to Louisville, musician Cheyenne Mize gathered and practiced favorite childhood songs with the elders at Hodgenville's Sunrise Manor. Sunrise Manor is an impressive place. It is new construction with two stories, multiple courtyards, loads of natural light, and wide hallways that curve into clusters of rooms rather than the more institutional double-loaded corridor model. When we hit Sunrise Manor, we made our way down to the main dining room where Cheyenne was waiting for us. When we turned the corner, I was floored. There were nearly seventy people gathered in a huge circle: elders from Sunrise and some who had traveled with the lead staff from the other three nursing homes in the region. They waved and cheered as we walked in. Cheyenne was at the noon spot in the circle with her guitar strapped on and standing next to a flip chart. She was ready for us. If we eat more of the good stuff and limit the not so good stuff, we will feel and function so much better. How we think about ourselves and how we talk to ourselves on a daily is very important. When talking to yourself, stop, and think about how nice or mean you are talking. Think about it as if you were talking to your best friend. Some of the things we say to ourselves we would never say to a friend. We are our worst critics. Talking about ourselves is just as important. What we say to others is really what we think of ourselves. Julie tells her co-workers the story of how she locked herself out of her apartment building a proceeded to say how stupid she was.

Was she foolish, or did she just make a mistake? Or perhaps a demure, flirtatious, playful woman who enjoys her sexuality to the utmost? Do you have within you a sensuous woman whose way of dressing and walking makes clear how much pleasure she takes in her body? Getting in touch with these parts of yourself can open you to a whole new world. Humans are the only species for which sexual desire and functioning are not necessarily linked to reproduction. Every other mammal has sex only when the female is in heat, and can reproduce as a result. Only we have sex just for fun--or to express love. We're the only species with a female orgasm not linked to reproduction. In fact, we're the only species in which females can have multiple orgasms! We're also the only species that continues to have sex long after reproduction is no longer possible. Did you know that the incidence of sexually transmitted diseases in nursing homes is equal to that among teenagers? Over in the corner, just outside of the circle, I spotted the folks from the Office of the Inspector General of the State of Kentucky's Department of Health Services. They were our funders--and overseers. They were the ones who held Angie's and my hands through the twenty-seven versions of the proposal--through the conceptual jujitsu of organizing a project to bring an iterative, creative process into one of the most regulated industries in the United States, nursing homes. What will the play be? these folks asked during the proposal process. That's up to the elders, we explained. What supplies do you need and how much will they cost? We won't know until we know the story of the play, we explained. These are two very different ways of thinking--two different ways of being.

But if this approach was to be replicable, if it was to spread to nursing homes across the country, we would need the support of people such as these agency staff. Think of yourself as your best friend and act accordingly. Setting Goals and Achieving What You Want It is essential to set goals. Goals help you keep going in the right direction. They actually give you direction. She sets down and decides what needs to be done to achieve that goal. Then she takes little steps daily that will get her to this goal. She needs to get good grades in high school to get into the college she wants. Each small goal will get her to the bigger ultimate goal. Set goals and then set small goals. In fact, having sex in their 60s, 70s, and 80s is more enjoyable for many people, including women who no longer have to worry about becoming pregnant, who are no longer taking care of children at home, and who have perhaps finally come into their personal and professional power. At this age, I no longer care what people think about me, one of my patients told me recently. It's taken me an entire lifetime to get here--but I am certainly enjoying it now! That sense of It's my life, and I'll live it as I please also created for her a new sexual freedom, as well as a sense of being in her body rather than wondering what her body looked like to someone else. Feeling free and empowered and in touch with her body, this woman got into a new relationship in which she was able for the first time in her life to tell her partner what she wanted and to ask him what he wanted. I wish I'd known this earlier, but I sure am enjoying it now. I find her attitude inspiring for all of us, at any age. Self-knowledge, empowerment, and a strong connection to our own bodies are the keys to sexuality and sensuality--along with hormonal balance. In most cases, if you're not enjoying sex as much as you'd like, your hormonal issues can be addressed by following my 28-day plan, in some cases complemented by bioidentical hormones.