Friday, 31 July 2020

When the light comes shining through

Having eaten the paste for a week, the boy no longer complained about abdominal pains. A month later, his appetite returned and he ate well. Simple and inexpensive, this recipe has extraordinary medicinal effects. Its recipe is included here. As you practice this more, you may even find that you lose a sense of time and space. You may even find that--if you'd like--you can create a sense of leaving the physical body for this healing time you've given yourself. If it feels comfortable, you may wish to see your consciousness actually leaving the physical body as a momentary out-of-body experience. Your consciousness will return effortlessly and easily by the time you finish this practice. In fact, you'll be more present than you were before. Counting now: Body float. Consciousness moving upward and expanding so that it's now larger than the body. Body becoming lighter and warmer. Consciousness moving upward and expanding even more so that it fills the room. How long will it take me to adjust? As a rough rule of thumb, adapting to a new time zone can take as much as one day for each hour travelled westward (although often less than this), and one and a half days for each hour travelled eastward. Using light exposure and avoidance shortens this adjustment period considerably. It might surprise you to know that I recommend operating on your home time for the duration of your trip if you aren't travelling across more than six time zones and your trip is short - say only two or three days long. Although this can be awkward to manage if you have meetings, it does mean that you won't need your body to readapt twice (at your destination and when you get home) in a short period of time. All of us, however, tend to feel the effects of changing time zones if we add or take away four hours or more.

Generally, we tend to find it easier to travel westward - to a time zone behind rather than ahead of our own. To set the biological clock back in time, the internal mechanism simply has to slow down more than it's used to. As a biological process this is easier than trying to speed it up. Given that most flights westward arrive during the day, it becomes fairly easy to get extra hours of daylight on arrival and in doing so slow down the biological clock so that it steps relatively quickly into rhythm with the new zone. But then I discovered X. And then my life changed. X is, of course, the idea they want to sell you. Since I'm honest with you, I'm no different. For example, in this article, I want to sell you on the idea of useful and useless thoughts. But there's a difference. I'm giving you my perspective--nothing more. It's up to you to decide what you're going to do with it. John Dewey, a pragmatist, and one of the fathers of functional psychology, famously said: The true is that which works. But that doesn't mean we should believe everything we hear or read. Some top-of-the-range washing machines include a gentle hand-wash program, but if you don't have one of these you'll need to know how to do it yourself. You will need hand-wash laundry liquid, which is gentler on delicate garments and designed to require less rinsing than machine washing detergent. Gather the garments that you want to hand-wash. Put the amount of detergent recommended on the bottle label into a clean washing-up bowl. For color-fast items, fill the bowl with water that is between warm and hot (comfortable enough to hold your hand in); Agitate the water with your hand to ensure the detergent is fully dissolved.

Immerse the items--not too many at a time--and use your hands to work the soapy water through them for a minute or so, paying attention to armpit areas and collars where odor and dirt more readily accumulate. Leave to soak for a few minutes if necessary. Lift the clothes out onto the draining board and tip away the dirty water. Rinse out the suds from the bowl, fill with cool, clean water and rinse the clothes in this by moving them around. When you call for the goddess Durga, you will find her within yourself. I read somewhere, or maybe I imagined it, (I don't remember), if one is courageous, if one uses heart, then one is like a house where lamps are lit - the demon Mahisha is afraid to enter. When there are no lamps and the house is dark, Mahisha can enter easily. The person who learns how to show heart, to listen to their heart, is like the house where there is a guard at the door, fully awake. It is difficult for the demon Mahisha to enter. He cannot gather courage because this is not his quality. This is a quality that comes from the heart. The mind wants to enslave your consciousness. The heart can defeat it. The weak part of the mind does not want you to have a heart. So, what results are you trying to obtain and what information do you need to get there? 2) Has anyone I know achieved this goal? Does anyone I know have the right information or know someone who does? If you know anyone who can help you, start there. It will save you the hassle of looking for the right information and prevent you from wasting time. Before looking for information on my own, I always try to think of people who can help me.

By doing so, I'm more likely to access the right information and, as a result, learn more effectively. 3) To achieve the results I want, who can I pay to help me find the information I need? Successful people don't spend hours looking for free tutorials or articles, they hire experts or buy the best step-by-step course available. They simply don't have the time to put pieces of the puzzle together from multiple sources of information. Am I being effective? As Daniel Pink points out in his article To Sell Is Human, social scientists have proven that this kind of interrogative self-talk is more valuable than declarative self-talk, such as repeating affirmations. Learning to shift to an inquiry mindset doesn't involve special training. It just requires you to have genuine, simple curiosity. When asked why he became a scientist, Isidor Isaac Rabi, winner of a Nobel Prize for physics, replied, My mother made me a scientist without ever knowing it. Every other child would come back from school and be asked, `What did you learn today? I never associated failure therefore with something bad. Just that I was taking a risk, which meant I was learning, she stated in an interview with Fareed Zakaria. While inquiry doesn't require fancy tools or techniques, it does require a profound shift in our thinking. In a market-share economy, the kind of questions that have value are those we can answer quickly with resolve and certainty. For Mum there followed a decade of decline. This journey will be familiar to anyone who has cared for a demented parent or spouse. It is an unrelenting succession of depressing events and visits to outpatient departments. There is a small multidisciplinary industry now of dementia navigators: specialist nurses, psychiatrists, social workers and carers. The trajectory is predictable and prolonged and includes gradually worsening mobility, incontinence, falls, endless crisis phone calls and ambulance staff visits. This is overseen by GPs, who blithely continue to prescribe statins to ward off death from a heart attack, flu inoculations and other preventative treatments.

Blind adherence to general practice's income-generating QOF (Quality Outcome Framework) standards inevitably lead to this absurdity. We struggled at home for years. Dad would sometimes get angry with Mum. This is a love that has no rewards. When something sparks outrage, you don't need a who, a where, a when, a what, or a why. It's a sentence in which the object becomes the subject (try to diagram that one). To prove this is an actual story, said blogger says, Here are 4 responses by people with blue check marks next to their names! One is probably a sputtering d-bag Patton Oswalt. In the era of Twitter, what constitutes a story is now based on what some say--the kind of story that gets retweeted again and again, until it's no longer just four people who are upset, but many, four hundred, which in the twittersphere can feel like four million. And those first four people who make up that total twitterstorm of the truly outraged takes a victory lap. We got a scalp! What do we do now? At some point, to save his job, the poor weatherman (or whoever he was: frankly I forgot already) decides he must offer a groveling apology, but he still gets fired. He's canceled. I would argue that all Asperkids be monitored closely for learning disorders by professionals who will not be blinded by intelligence but be sensitive to inconsistencies. At present, that responsibility lies largely, and unfairly, with families, something I desperately hope will change. Just a few years ago, I was very clearly told by one exceptional children's administrator that her job wasn't to ensure that any student reached their full potential, just that they passed the grade. As a mother and as a teacher, that simply is not alright with me. Even when they are having a hard time in classes, it can be difficult to tell, I know. Asperkids often choose not to ask for help from their teachers.

Sometimes I think I know where it's at

And, as Peterson suggests, it ends in a punch or a call to 911 or both. The stakes for any argument are ridiculously high. Perhaps that's the whole point. How to add legs to your two-legged stool. Only journalists love binary thinking. That's why poll responses that include none of the above and no opinion are despised--they get in the way of a story so simple even a journalist can understand it. It's the except in the case of responses that open the door to complications, and that means research and that means work and that's the edge of the media's flat earth. Your friends in the press love unbalanced political situations. Think of a stool with only two legs: Will we lean left? Articles, adjectives, and pronouns are all variations on the pyramid, tangibly reminding the child of their association with named things, people, and ideas. Conjunctions are represented by a pink wooden bar, and are taught using a thin pink ribbon to tie together groups of flowers, so suddenly three separate blossoms are one group of red and pink and yellow all bound together in one vase. Intricate steps come in between - sentences analyzed by allowing the child to stamp colored representations of the grammar shapes on printed sentence strips. Eventually, the child must write original sentences according to patterns of stamped shapes. You will recall my love of grammar a million years ago. Like Lego bricks, it's about small pieces fitting together, and when properly used, those pieces can create masterpieces. Obviously, I love to write. But I had to learn how and when and why to use this turn of phrase versus another. Otherwise, any thoughts I had that were worth sharing would never make it out onto a article with much power or possibility. The same is true for your Asperkids. These studies suggest that when the average person is about to see an emotional picture, he or she will respond before that picture appears (under double-blind conditions)12 [emphasis in original].

To repeat: Participants' skin was reacting before an emotionally provocative image was randomly generated, when the participants did not know the emotionally provocative image was coming. From 1998 to 2000, Dr Radin replicated the results in studies at Paul Allen's (cofounder of Microsoft) consumer electronics lab in Silicon Valley, Interval Research Corporation. Biochemistry Nobel laureate Kary Mullis visited the lab and acted as a participant in Dr Radin's study. Following his participation, Mullis remarked during a 1999 interview on National Public Radio's (NPR) Science Friday program: I could see about 3 seconds into the future. It's spooky. You sit there and watch this little trace, and about three seconds, on average, before the picture comes on, you have a little response in your skin conductivity which is in the same direction that a large response occurs after you see the picture. Some pictures make you have a rise in conductivity, some make you have a fall. That, with me, is on the edge of physics itself, with time. This representation will not only be beautiful, but immensely powerful and necessary if we are going to embrace and respect the variety of bodies that we have in real life. Post-birth bodies. Another idea we see glorified in the media is the ridiculous assumption that any woman worth her salt should have a body that bounces back after childbirth. I've never had a child, but I've watched my friends and others struggle with adjusting to post-birth bodies and the lasting changes that come with childbearing. The stripes. The loss of elasticity. The pouch or mothers apron as I learned it is sometimes called. The deflation of the boobs. All of these things affected my friends' self-esteem in some way--it was agonizing for me just to watch how they struggled, so I can't even imagine how difficult it must be for them to experience. I once asked my followers on Facearticle this question: Mothers: What was the hardest part of your body to love after having a child? Then use for planting herbs or flowers to put on the windowsill and brighten up your kitchen or for storing utensils.

Alternatively, you can transform them into attractive holders for patio lights. Just use a hammer and nail to make a pretty pattern of holes through which the light can shine. Who would have thought that a humble tin could be so useful? Cardboard boxes If these are in good condition, they make fabulous storage baskets for storing towels, linen, kids' toys, paperwork, etc Just follow these instructions: Cut off the flaps around the top of the box and throw them in the recycling bin. Starting from the base, take a roll of thick brown string and wrap it around the side of the box, working your way up to the top edge, until the box is covered. Use a hot glue gun to secure the ends of the string to the box to stop it unravelling. If you're a dab hand at sewing, you could upcycle an old pillowcase as a lining. It's timing. Sonny Moore seemed to have that pattern recognition; From First to Last spotted the fast rise of screamo before most bands--and mainstream audiences--saw it coming. When Sonny recognized that the end was near, he got off the wave. The real question is, was that all just luck? Was Sonny just a natural? Or can such wavespotting be taught? SOME TIME AGO, DRS. Erik Dane, Kevin Rockmann, and Michael Pratt, researchers in organizational behavior and human decision making, recruited a couple hundred college students to watch clips from some basketball games for extra credit in their business classes. Some of the students had played several years of basketball--the researchers called them high expertise. Compassionate parenting is about bringing kindness into our relationship with ourselves rather than self-criticism, because this doesn't do anyone any good.

By turning down our critical voice it helps to know that we're all in the same boat with our struggles and that we can use our vulnerabilities to create a better connection with our children in a more wholehearted way, which sees vulnerability as lying at the centre of the family story: Whether we're holding our children or standing beside them or talking through their locked door, vulnerability is what shapes who we are and who our children are. If we refuse to be vulnerable during moments of struggle and self-doubt, rather than being with ourselves through the peaks and valleys of life, we'll struggle to teach our children to acknowledge their own vulnerabilities. Parents' feelings about themselves are vital to raising children who live and love with their whole hearts. If we want our children to love and accept who they are, then we must love and accept who we are including our imperfections: We can't use fear, shame, blame, and judgment in our own lives if we want to raise courageous children. Compassion and connection - the very things that give purpose and meaning to our lives - can only be learned if they are experienced. And our families are our first opportunities to experience these things. Our own vulnerabilities and those of our children - far from being something to hide - provide us with precious moments to explore our colourful emotions with our children, to develop love and compassion, and to teach them resilience from a place of being `good enough' rather than equating vulnerability with weakness. Unleashing brilliance requires you to be highly disciplined; Being `in the green' at all times is an unrealistic expectation. It's how you get yourself back on track that counts. Ray realised that his `failed diary' was not conducive to his performance or leadership. He knew he had to reclaim his green brain state to fuel his brilliant performance. He knew that the key behaviours to support his stamina and mindset were around being disciplined with time, conserving his energy and mental capacity for the right work where he could truly add value, and ensuring that he built into his calendar the `me' time he needed to do the things that refuelled his energy. So he took charge and actively created blank space to think, to create, to strategise, to think about the business and next steps. He reset boundaries and intentions and realigned his behaviours to his key goals. He shared, `Success for me now looks like a clear diary with chunks of time for refreshing and sharpening the saw and the time to make important decisions'. Nicole Eckels, co-founder of Sapphire Group and CEO of Glasshouse Fragrances, provided the same insight during her time on my podcast. Withdraw the hands and stand upright.

Breathe 10 times with your hands overlapped on your abdomen. Rub your hands, face, and neck and the Dazhui point (the most prominent joint on the back of your neck when your lower your head). Then, move the left foot half a step to the left and do a half squat. Put your hands on your thighs, fingertips facing each other, and circle the legs six times from the outside inward, then from the inside out. After that, put your feet together, squat with your hands on your thighs, and circle the legs six times to the left, then six times to the right. Straighten up and pat your body all over from top to bottom, the left hand patting the right side of the body and the right hand patting the left side. This will get rid of the soreness you might feel when you practice this standing exercise. In the beginning, your legs and arms may ache or shake. This is normal. Your subconscious brain focuses on what's right with you. The subconscious can remind you who you are--and why. It can help you answer the questions: Who am I? What am I here for? How can I put my greatest gifts to use in this world? The theta brain waves your subconscious brain generates are involved in memory formation and retrieval,1 and they play a role in modulating emotionally charged memories in traumatized individuals. Here, the subconscious is the program a director uses to stitch expensive scenes together on a computer. Remember when Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet (two actors we used in other subconscious brain-based metaphors) were in Titanic together? Well, imagine writer/director James Cameron filming these actors on a sound stage. He imagines what he wants them to say. However, we need much more research in this area to be able to make conclusive statements about the link between the two.

In the summertime in England

He admits that on reflection `overloading my diary was a failed strategy for me' as he let the habits and behaviours that he knew fuelled his success fall by the wayside. Ray had entered the red zone. There's nothing heroic about becoming a slave to your diary and other people's requirements. This is not aligned to maintaining the behaviours needed to be ready, to be brilliant. In fact, it's the fast-track to burnout and a whole heap of challenging mindset issues. We risk overwhelm, falling into the `I'm so busy' trap. We find it hard to navigate the murkiness to find the clarity; And as for those projects that matter and brilliant behaviours you know you need to re-implement to get things back on track? Well, they get thrown out with the trash! Maintain this state as you breathe ten times. Regular Movements Move the left foot half a step to the left, putting a distance between the feet that is three times the length of the foot. Imagine that your feet are rooted deeply into the ground like a big tree. Bend your knees and do a half squat, as if riding a horse. Keep the upper body upright, hold in the stomach slightly, straighten the head and neck, tuck in the lower jaw, and keep the Baihui point, Huiyin point, and the central point between the heels on a straight line. Bend the knees outward in a natural position, keeping them in a straight line with the toes. Look straight ahead, eyes slightly closed, and breathe naturally. Remain in this standing posture for 20-40 minutes each time. Concluding Movements Going back is how you dislodge an emotionally charged memory that is stuck in your brain.

Think of it like rebooting your computer if your Internet browser freezes and prevents you from using Word--you obsessing about your ex (the frozen browser) when you should be focusing on work (Word). In this case, you do need to go back to think about that breakup--but just for a few minutes. Then, the supercharged subconscious experience will set you free. If You Have a Happy Past Some people ask, But what if my past was happy? Do I still need this article? This article can help you understand how forgotten memories all fit together--shaping you into the incredible person you are today. Also, isn't it nice to remember our best memories? The subconscious brain isn't about pathology (ie, telling you what's wrong with you). The timing depends upon a variety of factors, including your ethnicity, how old you were when you had children, whether you breastfed, and your weight. The signs of approaching menopause - at first irregular periods, then later, intermittent periods, hot flushes, loss of libido, and mood swings among them - may be evident several years before a woman ceases to menstruate altogether. This lead time is called the peri-menopause. There are very few objective studies on the effects of menopause, but those that have been conducted offer some insight into how the menopause, and its side effects, may inhibit good-quality sleep. One study noted that during the first half of the night, women with hot flushes had significantly more arousals and awakenings than a control group and those without hot flushes. Women who were convinced that their hot flushes were causing a problem with their sleep on average reported around five hot flushes per night, and five sleep disturbances. Interestingly, the awakenings occurred immediately before each hot flush. In trying to find a solution to the problem, the researchers found that a lower ambient temperature of 18oC (64. I think 18oC is about the right room temperature (if such a generalization can be made) for sleep anyway (see p. Furthermore, oestrogen is believed to have an impact on the biological clock, making it harder to fall asleep or causing you to wake too early in the morning. Break them down into their component parts if you must, but even better, just get them out.

Once a week Once a month Every three to six months There are an increasing number of social enterprises throughout the country that will be delighted to take your old bikes off your hands; Google for one near you. Once a year Dispose of anything broken or that you no longer use. Decluttering and cleaning often go hand in hand, if only because during the course of decluttering we begin to see surfaces we might not have laid eyes on for years. It also becomes so much easier to clean up when we're not faced with the daily domestic steeplechase of too much stuff. Fry until the meat is white on the outside. Add the ham and cream, then pour in the stock. Let this bubble and reduce a little. Remove from the heat and transfer to a rimmed pie dish. Then heat the oven to 350-oF. Assembly and cooking Sprinkle flour onto a clean, dry kitchen counter and onto the rolling pin to prevent sticking. Remove the ball of pastry from the cling film and start to roll it into a shape of even thickness, larger than the diameter of the pie dish. Lift and turn the pastry 90 degrees each time you roll to prevent it sticking to the counter. Add more flour if necessary. The mind doesn't make just one cloud, it creates many.

We don't have one mind. We have many minds. Hundreds and thousands of minds. Each circumstance calls for a different mind. Our minds are a reflection of how we feel about society and our place in that society. We are anxious, afraid, alone, lost. With all these emotions we water the seeds in our minds. They may not flower right away, but, over time, they will. Then our consciousness, our real nature, becomes even more blurred as it gets even more lost behind the clouds of our mind. If you want to build a coaching business, focus on that. You need to build your expertise, find clients and learn how to convince them to hire you as a coach. There is a heck of a lot of work involved. Here's the bottom line. If you're not spending a major part of your time on one thing, you'll very likely get nowhere. And, while hedging your bets might sound like a good strategy, it often isn't. It's usually far more effective to find one thing you have an interest in and commit to doing it until you get results. Then, and only then, you can move on to the next exciting goal on your list and repeat the process. In my article, The One Goal, I explained how and why I set a goal of writing articles consistently until April 18th, 2020 (my 35th birthday). I specifically set this goal to avoid giving up or falling for the Shiny Object Syndrome. I had made a talent map as Nick described what drove his boss's thinking.

I wrote Nick's talents on it also, so we could compare them and find where and how they could connect. Nick hovered over the map as if it were the Rosetta stone. No wonder he always begins with what he wants to have happen in the future. Look at his innovative quadrant--exactly where my blind spot is, where I worry! I pointed out that, conversely, Martin's blind spots were in procedural and relational thinking, where Nick had an abundance of thinking talents and never worried. Pointing to his boss's map, he exclaimed, I get it, I get it! That must be why he stresses about how we are going to get things done and doesn't seem to care about the effect he has on people at all. I keep throwing my best ideas about operations and people right at the very places where he has blind spots--what you're calling his procedural and relational quadrants. TEAM MAP EXAMPLE 1 This is old-fashioned clinical medicine: just a story, a thorough physical examination and observation of the patient's home environment and how they are muddling through. Or, more realistically, how they are not muddling through. A good GP will refer their patient to the consultant who most suits the patient's temperament and expectations. A young, anxious, fitness-obsessed executive needs a young physician who will leave no stone unturned (and will quite probably leave the patient a little more anxious). A patient with a philosophical view on life who prefers to avoid fuss should ideally be referred to a specialist who can live with uncertainty and offer reassurance. Another of the unwritten but essential roles of a good GP is to protect their patients from the clutches of hospitals. These days, as soon as anyone enters a hospital, an unstoppable cascade of investigations, ward rounds and treatments inevitably ensues. For the elderly, hospitals are dangerous places, precipitating confusion, falls and fractures with the added risk of hospital-acquired infection. It is very easy to admit a frail elderly person but often very difficult to discharge them. It is not unheard of for events to lead to a patient leaving feet first. The personalization of debate deems any kind of hard truth harmful to one's fragile health and eliminates any chance for real conversation.

Thursday, 30 July 2020

When I need rest and sleep

During the menstrual cycle, at the point at which the egg has been released from the ovarian follicle and the remnants of the follicle have released the hormone progesterone, a woman's temperature might rise by up to 0. This slight increase can make a woman feel too hot in bed, making it harder to get to sleep or to stay asleep. The menstrual cycle also disrupts a woman's rhythms for releasing melatonin, thyroid-stimulating hormone and cortisol. Frustratingly, research is not clear as to the impact of these disruptions on major sleep characteristics (the amount of deep sleep, dreaming sleep and so on a woman has), but we do know that there are subtle effects at work. You probably don't need any of it at all. Most dry products such as eyeshadow and powder last a couple of years; When it's past its best, toss it. To keep brushes in best condition, wash them gently with a tiny dab of shampoo. Rinse them under the tap with the bristles facing downwards, blot dry on a clean facecloth, gently squeezing to remove as much water as possible, then leave them to dry naturally, resting on the facecloth. If you have sealed, unused toiletries which don't appeal to you, pass them on. Check out @thebeautybanks on Instagram. It's a non-profit organization which helps to get toiletries and cosmetics into the hands of people living in serious poverty. In the US, beautybus. Wash and wear Cool, before blending by hand or in a blender. Heat again to desired temperature. Season and garnish with a splash of olive oil, swirl of cream or croutons. If you prefer to use vegetable rather than meat stock, add garlic for depth of flavor. You will need pasta, a large saucepan, water, salt and a colander. Remove the lid and add a tablespoon of salt.

Return the water to a rolling boil, add the pasta and stir once to separate it. Cut it in half to see if it is cooked through. A white and grainy center means further cooking time is required. For al dente pasta--with a little bit of bite--remove from the heat before it is completely soft. We get annoyed and irritated as to why our minds cannot just be still for a moment. Why is the mind always wondering? Instagram shows me the same default yoga poses over and over again. How many more posts do I have to see with a yogi pointing his or her toes? I become so bored I just switch off. I look for an escape (which, to be fair, should just mean logging off). I find the same with my mind. The minds recollection system brings up the past over and over again and it also thinks about the future. I just see the same old images. This whole process (which again is just the default mode of the brain) just gets so boring. Did you know the diet industry is a multi-billion-dollar sector? Why is this? Because people keep trying different diets, hoping to find one that finally works. Clever marketers take advantage of this situation by selling different diet programs to the same people over and over. Now, is it possible that none of these diets work? Technically, yes.

However, I doubt that is the case. There are probably people who managed to lose a lot of weight with any of these diets--whether they maintain the weight loss is another matter. The point is, what matters the most is not the information you receive, it's what you do with it. Once you understand how to use the information you have effectively, you can achieve results even with average quality information. First I asked her if she was still sure she wanted to start her own company. Of course, she replied immediately. I just don't have the slightest idea how to get there. I suggested we look at her thinking-talents map again, to see the internal resources she had to do that. The first thing we noticed was how strong she was in the relational quadrant. I wrote the concerns she had on Post-its and placed each next to the appropriate quadrant. We put her worry about writing a business plan into the analytic quadrant; We discovered that all of her concerns, in fact, fell into the analytic and procedural quadrants. Interestingly, her blind spots were where I had most of my thinking talents. I suggested we create a thinking partnership to help her strategize through the transition. I am lucky enough to have worked with some old physicians from the pre-antibiotic era. One remembered, as a student, taking a trip up to Oxford at the end of the war to see a young man who had contracted erysipelas, a bacterial infection of the face, from a nick of the razor. The man had been brought back from the brink of death by a miracle new drug: penicillin. Alas, penicillin was available only in such tiny quantities that they ran out and, in spite of the doctor's efforts to recover it from the urine, the man died. Another physician told me of the `treatment' given for pneumonia, a common illness in the young before antibiotics. It would spread through one lobe of the lung, causing a raging fever and breathlessness, and the patient, struggling to maintain the blood oxygen level, would breathe faster and faster.

Breathing requires muscles and eventually, if the pneumonia did not settle, exhaustion would set in. The breathing rate would fall, and with it the oxygen levels, and usually the patient would die. Some patients would survive, simply through luck or their own resilience - so-called `resolution by crisis'. The doctor would arrive at the point of resolution or death and paint a grave picture of the poor patient's chances. But if we jettisoned these silly idea prisons, we'd be able to live better lives based on common sense. Sadly, current politics forces us into one of two positions, against the betterment of society. Now, if you look at that list I casually tossed out, you'll see how I've changed my views often. But now I pick views that range between two prisons, between two poles. I like to think I'm above it all, or maybe I'm just a man who likes stilts. For instance, climate change isn't a hoax and we should pursue ways to protect the environment; Somewhere between hoax accusation and Greta Thunberg hysteria lies the truth: that even if the predictions are bad, we can work toward a cleaner environment--especially if we incorporate nuclear power (which is really the cleanest, most effective energy of all). As I put words to paper, President Trump just pledged to plant a trillion trees to reduce global CO2 levels, at the same time condemning the prophets of doom saying the world will end in a decade. That, whether you want to admit it or not, is a stance that puts him outside both idea prisons. He's pivoted away from the hoax stance and walked outside toward practical action. That only left one unit spot to fill in, and we'd made 16 - a square of four beads by four beads! She tried it again, building with sevens, threes, fives; This by the kid who, only a few months earlier, had been successfully regrouping with no real understanding of the equations. Sensorial block puzzles will soon lead us to complex calculations like bi- and trinomial cubes (algebra), connecting the geometrical representations and mathematical calculation. That method can begin with the very young. When our two-year-old plays with the pink tower of ten wooden stacking blocks, they offer him proprioceptive and visual exploration of comparative quantities.

Gravity helps, too. Try to stack them in the wrong order and you get a very tangible result. Play around some more, and we observe that the bottom block sure feels and looks different than the top one. And so he learns the vocabulary to match the sensations of big versus small, or gradations - there are eight bigger and smaller than's to contrast between the endpoint superlatives. It turned out Leanne was having an epileptic seizure and was drowning in the bath. In another instance, Gemma warned Leanne that she would have an epileptic attack. Sure enough, later that day Leanne had an attack. The mother of a different set of twins wrote to Playfair claiming that 75 to 80 percent of the time, one of her identical twin daughters correctly predicts when the other will have a seizure. She'll just say, `Mom, she's going to have a seizure,' or even `Mom, she's having a seizure' before it even strikes. I have asked her how she knows when a seizure is coming, and she says, `I just know. Playfair noted that twins are also able to transmit emotions, physical sensations, and even symptoms such as burns and bruises. In one example, a father accidentally slammed a door on one of his twins' hands. The other twin yelled in pain even though her hand hadn't been smashed. That same twin whose hand hadn't been smashed developed a bruise on her hand. Now every girl is expected to have: The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. This is why we are all struggling. And just so you know, Kim Kardashian has cellulite, and though I haven't chatted with her lately, I'm sure she has her own insecurities just like everyone else. Because NO ONE is perfect in the eyes of society's standards. Not even her.

Wednesday, 29 July 2020

Sometimes we don't know why

No matter what I say or do, I can't reason with her. Because I failed to answer one question, I cannot move forward; I cannot order new checks. I am left sputtering into the phone, reduced to shouting at the lady (I swear she enjoyed it). But the fact is, her denial was nothing personal. It never is. She has a goal, and it's to protect me from not just others, but myself, too. Still, I felt helpless, because I couldn't reason with this person. Asked about her area of interest - animal science - she spoke eloquently, intelligently, and insightfully for an extended period of time. But then an interviewer asked her to define happiness. Quickly, she became flustered and frustrated. That's too abstract, she protested. Topic over. While those two stories seem woefully unrelated, I would argue that they are profoundly connected. Aspies don't like frothy eloquence unless it can be backed up with concrete reality. Our minds don't operate on vague intangibilities; But, to really ingest, taste, and then elevate a concept, we are all from Missouri. Don't tell me. If I simply relied on my everyday experience, I would have said my arm is solid and not mostly empty. But it is mostly empty.

And the remaining 0. As we saw in the double-slit study, sometimes particles behave like bits of matter, and at other times they behave like waves of probability. So this stuff that we call matter and assume to be solid, isn't actually solid at all. As stated by physicist Peter Russell: With the development of quantum theory, physicists have found that even subatomic particles are far from solid. In fact, they are nothing like matter as we know it. They cannot be pinned down and measured precisely. Much of the time they seem more like waves than particles. They are like fuzzy clouds of potential existence, with no definite location. It's always easy to hate the nefarious fat person: Ursula from The Little Mermaid, Penguin from Batman, Slug from Marvel Comics, the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland, Oogie Boogie from The Nightmare Before Christmas, Big Dan Teague from O Brother, Where Art Thou? It's important to note that not all stupid, funny, and evil characters are fat; What is problematic is when we see fat characters, they fall into these negative stereotypes more often than not. Thanks to these common and prevailing tropes, we are repulsed/humored/angered by fat people because our reality has no other frame of reference in which to sort them out. For the most part they are not positively represented in the media, so when we see fat people happy, in love, feeling worthy, achieving success, or engaging in any positive activity . A FAT PERSON WHO ISN'T MISERABLE OR TRYING TO BECOME UN-FAT? We don't know how to process this information. We don't understand. The unfamiliarity is uncomfortable. We feel confused . This will disinfect them and neutralise any smells. When they are dry, replace them and then you can start organising.

Go through all the fresh products with a limited shelf life, such as dairy, and dispose of any that are past their sell-by dates or starting to smell. Be especially careful with meat, fish and poultry. Check any jars and don't bother keeping those that are gungy at the bottom or have only a spoonful left inside. Sort out the fruit and vegetables, removing any that are bruised, smelly or soft and past their best. Now replace the food in its designated space. I like to use containers wherever possible, especially in the fruit and vegetable drawers. MGJY Top Tip Want to organise your fridge without spending any money? And in this safe environment, the cast tests out new material. And just like the students I watched, they bomb quite frequently. The fast-paced improv format allows actors to redirect the action, change scenes, and cut off jokes that aren't working. Performers typically take audience suggestions for topics or backstories for characters, then act out the first thing that comes to mind. Amid all the zaniness that ensues, casts can slip in scenes they've been considering for their show and gauge audience reactions. And though sometimes the material is dreadful, it doesn't matter. They can fail without failing. SINCE THE EARLY 20TH century, psychologists have argued about the effects of feedback interventions, or critiques, on behavior and performance. Various studies have shown that such interventions improved learning, while others prove that feedback has negative effects on performance. For years, academics debated whether positive feedback (You're doing great! That was just one of my many worries: my brain was like Velcro for anything remotely scary, whether it related to me, my family, friends, or something out in the big bad world. After another failed trip to the doctor, where `nothing physically wrong' was found to explain my recurring tummy aches, I felt like shouting from the rooftops: `How can you say there's nothing wrong with me when my tummy is telling me there is and when I feel like my world is turning upside down?

When you suffer from anxiety, children and adults alike lose the power to trust their own feelings. This makes it hard to believe that you'll be able to cope. Because so many situations feel threatening, you end up feeling really confused about what is safe and what isn't. It's like your brain and body are telling you big, fat lies, which to a small child feels really unsettling and lonely. Even if there is no apparent danger, it starts to feel safer to avoid even mildly challenging situations altogether than to risk the dread deep inside you that something will go wrong. Telling a child that a perceived threat is only in their head, or that there's nothing to worry about, invalidates the child's feelings and doesn't help at all in that particular moment. Not only does a child lose trust in their own feelings and in their ability to cope, but you risk unintentionally sending the message that the child's body and mind aren't to be trusted. This message is of course not intentional from a parent's point of view; He holds a free-throw average of 90 per cent. Compare this to LeBron James, regarded by some as the greatest player of all time, who scored only 74. But players hardly ever use the granny shot -- in fact, there appears to be an aversion to even trying the technique. Many players who have tried this shot stopped playing it because they were teased or felt it looked silly, in some cases despite the fact that their free-throw shots were better when taken as granny shots. So, despite there being a potentially more brilliant way to shoot, the stigma that comes with the granny shot makes the majority of players choose the overhand throw, which actually minimises the opportunity for success. When I asked my 16-year-old son about this, he said, `No-one shoots like that, Mum. You'd look stupid'. There's no doubt that being the same as everyone else is a comfortable place to be. It's great to feel like we belong. Yet when we do this, we're unconsciously choosing to stay the same. This, of course, did not work, because diseases come on horseback, but go away on foot through continued treatment. Although methods of supplementing the yang energy abound in traditional Chinese medicine, none will be effective unless the patient perseveres in the treatment.

According to a philosopher, two species in the world can finally reach the top of the pyramid. One is the eagle, and the other is the snail. The former is highly talented and can soar into the sky easily. The latter, though mediocre in talent, can also succeed in reaching the summit. What he depends on is nothing but perseverance. The most difficult thing in the world is to persevere. This is also true in medical treatment. Seeing no obvious effect after two or three days of treatment by a doctor, many patients wish to change doctors or medicine, not knowing that they must persevere with a particular recipe before it takes effect. First, let's unpack step 2 so you can experience activating the subconscious. You'll use The 3/12/7 Method script (see The 3/12/7 Method) to slow down your brain, shift it from left- to right-hemisphere dominance, and turn on and off different parts of the brain. SVT is a learned skill; Not only that, but you'll also engage your subconscious brain more quickly, and the positive transformation will stick. I recommend that you use SVT at least a few times a week. Multiple studies have demonstrated that benefits amplify as subjects use subconscious-activating practices more. After you practice SVT once or twice, you'll probably feel something happening in your brain. After you practice it eight times, you'll probably notice changes in your body or subtle changes in the way you talk to yourself. After you've been practicing it for a year, your life may look and feel significantly different than it does today. If you are experiencing the pain of daily migraines or the disaster of a messy divorce, then you can even use SVT as a daily tool. If these times don't suit you (for example, if 10pm until 6am works better with your schedule), that's fine - you can change the times, but try to make sure they allow for seven to eight hours of shut-eye every night. You'll need to set aside four weeks for this, because conditioning your body into a new routine won't happen overnight (excuse the pun).

In a week or two all will be well

Then it's a case of trying to reduce parents' expectations of getting straight to problem-solving mode - because that's not the most helpful response to begin with. In containing parental concerns and showing compassion for how challenging their situation is, we build a good foundation of safety and connection, from which problem-solving can then evolve. Anxiety made simple Question: Where does anxiety come from? Answer: Anxiety comes from a part of the brain called the amygdala. It's designed to help us survive attack, and it switches on when it thinks you're in danger. It's not very big, looks like an almond and sits at the back of each of your ears, and is always scanning for trouble. Some call it a `fierce warrior' because it always has your back and is incredibly hardworking. It was a trip to Goda-Chili, Ethiopia in 1992 that changed Cathy forever. She was a young mum, and Live Aid had captured the world's attention about Ethiopia's famine. The consequences of this were visible during her visit there as a volunteer with The Hunger Project, an organisation committed to the sustainable end of world hunger. As a young mum herself, Cathy said she couldn't imagine what other mothers go through seeing their kids die of something like a common cold or diarrhoea. Cathy promised a group of villagers that she would be their voice. Her inner fire was lit. As she shares, `I questioned who I was to say this when surely someone like the World Bank should be doing something. But the realisation was, just as I am a renegade Perth girl, a bit of a dag, I could still have a say in how the world goes. Digging into my own leadership and my own power to find what I needed and who I needed to be, to serve in that way, was critical'. Cathy Burke ended up becoming CEO of The Hunger Project for 20 years. In whatever we do, we should learn to put ourselves in another's shoes. Only in this way can we find their real needs and understand and help them.

This will also relieve our own troubles and pains and bring less trouble to others. With more understanding and less annoyance, we are sure to live a happier, healthier life. Unburdening Your Mind Every one of us is under pressure. The poor have pressure just making a living, and the rich rack their brains to become richer. Often, we may think of our own pressures alone, but ignore those of others. In fact, it is impossible for anyone to live without pressure. Why do some people live a happy, wealthy life while others live a miserable, poor life? In this study, subjects were hypnotized and told that the words they would later see would be like gibberish and like characters in a foreign language. Later, they were given the commonly used research tool called the Stroop test. You may have seen a version of this. It's one of the most famous and widely used tests in modern psychology. The word green is printed in red, and the word yellow is printed in blue. Because the test activates cognitive conflict in the brain, it's usually difficult to accurately and quickly identify the color. Remarkably, in Dr Raz's study, the subconscious turned off this naturally occurring phenomenon, and subjects responded as if they were reading words printed in a foreign language. They could name the colors easily and quickly, unlike most subjects given this test. An fMRI (functional magnetic resonance imaging) brain scan showed what was happening in the subconscious brain: the suggestion given to the subject while in a hypnotic state decreased activity in a part of the brain called the anterior cingulate cortex, a part of the brain affected by the Stroop test. Yes, the subconscious has the unique ability to activate or deactivate all sorts of structures and systems in the brain. I do, but I often get distracted while I'm going about it and so find myself doing other things, too No, I don't think about the sequence of events before I go to bed - they tend to be random or I just go to bed

What makes you decide to go to bed? I feel tired and that's usually at a particular time of night A certain time comes around, and I go to bed then regardless of whether or not I feel sleepy There's nothing on TV or I feel bored, so I go to bed About your lifestyle Again, answer these questions in the light of a typical week. Do you take regular exercise (any activity that raises your heart rate a little above its resting rate for at least 30 minutes)? Yes, I exercise at least three times a week for at least 30 minutes Planning a party can give you - and other people in your household - just the motivation you need to tackle some of the decluttering you've been putting off. Write it in the calendar, send out the invitations, then set aside time to clear out some of your junk in just the same way as you might pencil in time for shopping and cooking. Ditching the big stuff Many larger charities such as the British Heart Foundation, Sue Ryder and Emmaus (UK), and the Salvation Army and Furniture Banks (US) will accept bigger items, such as furniture and white goods, and many of them will collect from your house. Everything should be in good condition (please don't pass on your procrastination in the form of tatty stuff, see here) and upholstered items must have a fire-retardant label. There are safety restrictions on what they can accept, which usually rules out things such as cot mattresses, electric blankets, children's car seats and petrol- or diesel-fuelled gardening equipment, but they'll let you know what they can take. You could also download the free goneforgood. They will get in touch with you to arrange collection. And then, of course, there's freecycle. The 30-day declutter challenge You don't have to know how you got yourself into any mess Just because you won't always physically see life's order,

The only hint you might receive Admit, confess, and atone before you have to, And on that day you'll realize it would have been far better Sadness, fear, and despair are less conditions When you feel happy, especially really happy, Which is just as true when you feel really sad, Which means how you choose to feel on any given day will Disappointments have little to do with circumstance We live and then, we die. Our life is a play between the opposites of nature. We are never one, we are always a mixture or a dance between the two. In physics, this is referred to as antimatter. Nothing in the universe can exist without its opposite. However, tantra transcends this. Love is inadequate as a word to express the love of Shiva and Parvati. In tantra, god or the highest reality does not love. It is not capable of love as this is a human quality. God IS Love. When you break down your goals and set specific milestones, it becomes easy for you to know whether or not you're on the right track. There would be no need to wait for the end of the month or year to know if you will achieve your goal.

As a result, you can easily adjust your effort to ensure you'll hit your target. How to break down your vision Now, let's have a look at precisely what you can do to break down your overall vision into the manageable tasks you can easily accomplish on a daily basis. Yearly goal The first thing you need to do is to turn your long-term vision into yearly goals. Ask yourself, what major milestone(s) do you want to accomplish in the next twelve months? Make sure your yearly goals are SMART, which stands for: Specific: What exactly do you want? We texted back and forth for over an hour. She wrote that her time was so filled with other people telling her what they needed and what she should do that she wasn't sure she had an opinion or identity of her own anymore. I was both captivated by her need to own her life and curious about why she was more comfortable writing than speaking on the phone. We decided to meet at her home outside Nashville a few weeks later. When I arrived at the sprawling Tudor estate, I was introduced to Maria's two assistants, three nannies, a manny, a cook, a sister, and a bodyguard. The kids, two barking dogs, and a hissing cat were running in and out of the huge kitchen. One assistant closed the door to Maria's office behind me. I wandered around, searching for prompts to Maria's mind pattern. The first things that stood out were floor-to-ceiling columns of well-worn nonfiction articles, arranged neatly by color. Being in someone's office is often very much like being inside his or her brain. Outside the hospital was a big sign that read, `Hospital - Quiet Please'. This seemed such a serious command that as children we would stop talking as we walked past.

Some more coal on the fire will do well

There is no sun and moon. Both have merged and become lost in one another. In tantra, the word love is misleading. This word implies that there is also the possibility of hate. But tantra is beyond the dualities. When we love someone, it is also a possibility to hate them. When we cry, we then laugh. Our compassion and cruelty, our peace and violence, our madness and meditation, mind and no-mind, silence and sound are all intertwined with one another. It forces you to clarify them. You can't break down a goal into small manageable tasks if your goal is unclear to begin with. The process of breaking down your tasks brings further clarity to your vision. It reduces distractions. When you know exactly what you have to do every day, you're less likely to procrastinate or become distracted along the way. On the other hand, when you don't schedule your day, you leave room for all sorts of distractions (interruptions from colleagues, time spent on unimportant tasks, et cetera). It prevents you from becoming overwhelmed. For instance, you might not feel confident you can write a whole article, but you can certainly write a few sentences every day. Writing 150 words a day would lead to 54,750 words in a year, which is about the average length for a non-fiction article. It provides you with a benchmark to assess your progress. You can have strong feelings and opinions, which you readily express verbally. You seem to have an endless supply of physical energy.

You easily learn physical movement, even if given only verbal instructions. You can be very particular about the visual images you choose--movies, television shows, and room decorations--since you are deeply influenced by what you see. This is the only time I have to think by myself! Will you help me? It was from Maria, a famous country-and-western singer married to an equally famous record producer. They had three kids between them, ranging in age from three to twenty-three, and she had recently founded a global education foundation. She had been referred to me by another client, who described her as a hungry mind who had a frantic heart and a disorganized life. It was the first time she had reached out to me directly, so I decided to respond. I would have been about five years old. He showed me how his arms were twitching and told me it was because something had got into his body. I now know these were fasciculations, the involuntary quivering of the muscles seen in motor neurone disease. Motor neurone disease was then, and still is, a death sentence. None the less he made the obligatory trip to Lourdes in France, the place of pilgrimage for the suffering and dying. He spoke about the magic properties of the water and how it seemed to dry very quickly compared to ordinary water. The power of faith. My grandfather went downhill and died a few years later in the Bolingbroke Hospital adjacent to Wandsworth Common. Aunty Lizzie from Dublin swore that night she heard the banshees wail. Religion and superstition unified. I would have waited. But I didn't--because I'm a cheap carny whore to my ego.

I am insecure, so I had to be first. I wanted people to hear my voice so they knew I was normal and not crazy. I was like Liz Warren in seventh-grade English, wildly waving her hand with the right answer first. If I had simply asked myself that simple question first--Is this a plus or a minus? In fact, if I had asked this question before a lot of things I've done in my life, I'd have more pluses than minuses in my life--and fewer neighbors pooping in my garden. The Plus question I always ask myself is this: Is what I'm about to write publicly really that important? When you screw up, apologize with verve. When I realized I had jumped the gun on Covington, I didn't just jump back, I performed restitution. But a child's passion can also be made to serve you as a glimpse into what the individual most values, and how he sees his own self measuring up to that yardstick. I invite you to examine the trajectory of special interests a person holds over his or her lifetime. Look for themes. Specific interests may last as white hot, short bursts, or continue to varying intensities over years. But generally, they do evolve. We may never put away a love entirely, but we move on to another. Let me try to help you relate. You may have had conversations with long-time friends who point out similarities in dating partners you've chosen, maybe physical, maybe personality types, maybe both. Maybe you see trends in types of people you prefer as friends or bosses. Whatever the case, you can step back, take a look at those patterns, and draw some conclusions about yourself. But none of these observations prove that the brain produces the mind or that the mind is confined to the brain. Consider your television set.

Although you can damage it physically and destroy the picture on the screen, this does not prove that the TV set actually makes the picture. We know, rather, that the picture is due to electromagnetic signals originating outside the set itself and that the TV set receives, amplifies, and displays the signals; All we ever observe is the concomitant variations or correlations between states of the brain and states of the mind. Night always follows day; Similarly, Gary Schwartz, who earned his PhD in psychology from Harvard, served as a professor at Yale and is currently a professor at the University of Arizona, agrees with Dr Dossey's stance. After spending most of his career holding the materialist view of brain first, mind second, Dr Schwartz now concludes: Mind is first. Consciousness exists independently of brain activity. It does not depend upon the brain for its survival. I'm here to propose something that I believe too few of us realize: Health is our new beauty myth. Health, and, by extension, fitness and wellness. So says the super fat chick who loves cronuts, many will scoff. This is most certainly not a popular opinion. Culturally, we tend to believe all diagnoses, opinions, and commentary from all medical professionals. We don't fart with or question anything about health and medicine, including our infatuation with it. This, dear friends, at the very least, deserves questioning. And the reading of article 5. In the last few decades we, societally, have created some space to unpack the issues around body image. We've now had the conversation about how extreme eating disorders like anorexia nervosa aren't healthy so many times that some countries have started banning unnaturally thin bodies of a skeleton nature from runways, movies, and fashion spreads. Work with them and not around them, getting them to understand how important it is to look after things and respect their belongings. They have to do it at school, so why not at home too?

How you go about it and phrase your requests can make all the difference between success and failure. Children don't react well to `Just put it away' or `Tidy up this mess now'. This is not only very negative, but also difficult to achieve, when half the time they don't know where to put things. It can make them feel that they are being punished because you're angry with the mess and this can lead to them perceiving tidying up as an unpleasant task rather than something they would do naturally. So, try changing how you ask them to do it: `Where is its home? `Shall we label these boxes, so you know where your things are? By motivating them to tidy up and doing it in a friendly, enjoyable way, you will encourage your children to be more enthusiastic and they will want to help. Young women are told that if they can just find the right mentor, they will be pushed up the ladder and whisked away to the corner office to live happily ever after. Once again, we are teaching women to be too dependent on others. This waiting for luck to strike is the antithesis of lateral thinking. And the research shows she's right. All those expensive mentorship programs that corporations put on to smash strangers together in the hopes of increased success are basically just rolling dice. But in light of Underhill's research, the GOSH doctors did something very right: They managed to build an organic bond with the Formula 1 pit crews. By the time the handover problems had been fixed, the relationship between the doctors and racers had developed beyond what Elliott and Goldman originally envisioned. They had gone to Formula 1 seeking technical help, and ended up becoming friends. The GOSH doctors and nurses needed to model moves of master handoverers, and nobody beat Formula 1 pit crews at complicated equipment swaps. Ferrari's process for tire replacement didn't map exactly to unhooking and rehooking ventilators, but its masterful approach to teamwork in tight spaces did. The parents of anxious children are generally very eager to learn new strategies to help their kids, which is a really positive first step. My role is to take in parents' concerns and challenges, and to try to contain the situation for them.

It could make you wonder why

Most notably, we're now seeing plus-size women in some fashion spreads. Because we're seeing some larger bodies in magazines and online, the standard of beauty is definitely shifting, but our new alteration of the beauty ideal is so insidious that most of us don't even realize that it's still keeping us preoccupied, insecure, and in a constant state of self-hatred. It's exactly as Naomi Wolf said: The beauty myth uses appearance to direct behavior. It's not about a woman's appearance at all, but rather the tractability of the person who tries to attain perfection. Our current obsession is with a figure that BuzzFeed calls the postmodern beauty. What does our perfect body look like today? It's a combination of thin, but not scary super-thin; Our society places the most value on a body that, without speaking, screams: HEALTH, VIBRANT HEALTH AND WELLNESS IS WHAT I EMBODY. If your heart sinks every time you open the door and walk into your child's bedroom, don't despair, MGJY can help you to declutter it and offer some storage solutions and practical advice on keeping it tidier in the future. Children are always going to play and make a mess, and of course we want them to be creative, to explore and use their imaginations. However, if you can get them on board and make tidying their rooms and putting their things away fun rather than a chore, you'll establish good habits that last a lifetime. The way you go about this is all-important, and you will be far more successful if you can motivate and reward them or, in the case of toddlers and younger children, turn the process into a game instead of barking out orders. This will defuse any tension, help to instill a sense of independence and achievement and make all your lives easier and more harmonious. Some children are adamant that they can't let anything go and will throw a wobbly when you attempt to organise their space with them. However, if you reassure them by starting with only one drawer or a box at a time, it will help them to learn the process for themselves and establish a positive attitude towards decluttering, instead of hoarding everything they own under their beds for ever. Involve your kids from the beginning It's so important to get your children involved from the earliest possible age when it comes to tidy-up time as they really will feel a sense of ownership sorting out their own stuff. You'll be teaching them a life skill, which they'll continue to use into adulthood. Common wisdom said that proteges benefited from being mentored by more experienced colleagues--just as we learn from the Greeks--but many of the reports she saw disagreed on not only if mentorship worked, but how well, and under what circumstances. Underhill compiled 25 years of mentorship research--more than 100 studies--and looked at the data.

She tossed out flawed case studies and anecdotal articles marketing particular coaching programs, and focused on research in which the career outcomes of mentees at work were measured and compared with the outcomes of those who were not mentored. The statistics showed that businesspeople who were mentored in the workplace tended to achieve slightly more at work, on average, than those who didn't. Counterintuitively, however, Informal mentoring, Underhill found, produced a larger and more significant effect on career outcomes than formal mentoring. The mentorship study data conflicted, it turned out, because of the difference between structured mentoring programs, which were less effective, and mentorship that happened organically. In fact, one-on-one mentoring in which an organization formally matched people proved to be nearly as worthless as a person having not been mentored at all. However, when students and mentors came together on their own and formed personal relationships, the mentored did significantly better, as measured by future income, tenure, number of promotions, job satisfaction, work stress, and self-esteem. This is why Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facearticle and the author of Lean In, dedicates a article in her article to this concept, arguing that asking someone to formally mentor you is like asking a celebrity for an autograph; Searching for a mentor has become the professional equivalent of waiting for Prince Charming, she writes. Anxious parents are more likely to have anxious children, and vice versa. Having an anxious child can make a parent more anxious. If you have a tendency towards anxiety, you may not realise how much you actually have in common with your anxious child. I once asked a parents' group I ran how having an anxious child made them feel. They answered: `stressed; When these same parents were asked how their children's anxiety manifested, they said that the children were: `expecting the worst; What I found interesting about this exercise was how many similarities there were between the two lists. On the one hand, you can see how anxiety can be reinforced in daily child-parent interactions. On the other, the parent can at least relate to how their child is feeling. As a result of this connection, one of the best ways of helping a child with anxiety is to reach them through their parents. Not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years . Grit is living life like it's a marathon, not a sprint.

If you have that fire within, then you will seize the day, the month, the year, the opportunity. As Napoleon Hill wrote in his all-time classic Think and Grow Rich, `There is one quality which one must possess to win and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it'. Cathy Burke is a brilliant example of someone with a burning desire who has never been afraid of a challenge. Cathy is one of seven children. When I interviewed her for my podcast, Cathy talked about being the `odd kid'. Her mother struggled with mental health and Cathy struggled with the stigma of her mother being in and out of psychiatric wards. Finally, she was able to escape to university, where she discovered punk anarchy and politics. She describes herself as a ratbag, comfortable with the unknown and playing on the edges of change. Thinking from Others' Perspective It is only natural that there may be misunderstandings, conflicts, and quarrels between people, because we all tend to think ourselves correct and others wrong. However, different people may have different perspectives, even when viewing the same thing. From their perspective, they are certainly correct. If we all argue for our own points of view, conflicts are bound to occur. In fact, many controversies are due to different perspectives, which can be successfully resolved if we can think from others' perspective. The Buddha says that other people are our best mirrors. We will be treated the way we treat others. If we do not think for others, others will not think for us either. Therefore, if we learn to think from others' perspective, we will have a totally new life. There were two fascinating findings. First, hypnosis increased connections between the brain's prefrontal cortex and insula--which may explain how the subconscious brain can control what's going on in the body.

Is this why the subconscious can do some things that drugs and the conscious brain can't? Second, the subconscious reduced connections between the brain's dorsolateral prefrontal cortex and the medial prefrontal cortex and posterior cingulate cortex. When I plant positivity during an SVT practice, you'll later find yourself engaging in this healthy activity without giving it any thought. It will all feel so easy and effortless--as if it just happened. Won't that be nice? Today, it's these brain-imaging studies that help us to see and understand what is actually happening in the brain when the subconscious is working. Another hypnosis-with-brain-imaging study was conducted by Dr Amir Raz, the Canada Research Chair in the Cognitive Neuroscience of Attention at both McGill University and SMBD Jewish General Hospital. It led him to conclude that hypnosis can change focal brain activity in a way no drug we have can do. Do you get up at the same time in the morning? Yes, I get up at the same time, even at the weekend Yes during the working week, but I often lie in at the weekend No, I get up when I feel like it Do you ever take a daytime nap (that is, a nap at any time before your usual bedtime, even if it's unintentional)? No, I never nap Yes, but only at the weekends Yes, I take a daytime nap more than twice a week Do you have a bedtime ritual (any sequence of events that you regularly perform just before you go to bed counts as a ritual)? Yes, I have a sequence of activities that I perform before I go to bed and I do these most if not all nights of the week In the UK, the Association of Professional Declutterers and Organizers (APDO - apdo. It might be just the thing to get you started or to keep you going.

If you feel your problem is deeper than that and the decluttering process is bringing to the surface emotions that are just too difficult for you to handle on your own, or you're a hoarder rather than just someone who lives with too much clutter, then seeking a suitably qualified therapist is a really excellent idea. Help for Hoarders (helpforhoarders. It has links to resources that might help and an active online community that offers support. Please do it now. Take this first small step. Don't live with the debilitating shame of it any longer - you honestly deserve so much more. The power of a party Sometimes, we all need a deadline. The only way to find your way is to first be lost. To make it big, start out small. To fall in love, first feel none. So, any such feelings of being lost, feeling small, Of all the joys on earth, few compare to Yet in every such case, without exception, Talking a lot about something that bothers you That which curses you today will bless you tomorrow. That is, if you come to believe in curses and blessings Said another way, When Shiva and Parvati make love, this is the union of tantra and they both are lost. There is no I.