Wednesday, 29 July 2020

Some more coal on the fire will do well

There is no sun and moon. Both have merged and become lost in one another. In tantra, the word love is misleading. This word implies that there is also the possibility of hate. But tantra is beyond the dualities. When we love someone, it is also a possibility to hate them. When we cry, we then laugh. Our compassion and cruelty, our peace and violence, our madness and meditation, mind and no-mind, silence and sound are all intertwined with one another. It forces you to clarify them. You can't break down a goal into small manageable tasks if your goal is unclear to begin with. The process of breaking down your tasks brings further clarity to your vision. It reduces distractions. When you know exactly what you have to do every day, you're less likely to procrastinate or become distracted along the way. On the other hand, when you don't schedule your day, you leave room for all sorts of distractions (interruptions from colleagues, time spent on unimportant tasks, et cetera). It prevents you from becoming overwhelmed. For instance, you might not feel confident you can write a whole article, but you can certainly write a few sentences every day. Writing 150 words a day would lead to 54,750 words in a year, which is about the average length for a non-fiction article. It provides you with a benchmark to assess your progress. You can have strong feelings and opinions, which you readily express verbally. You seem to have an endless supply of physical energy.

You easily learn physical movement, even if given only verbal instructions. You can be very particular about the visual images you choose--movies, television shows, and room decorations--since you are deeply influenced by what you see. This is the only time I have to think by myself! Will you help me? It was from Maria, a famous country-and-western singer married to an equally famous record producer. They had three kids between them, ranging in age from three to twenty-three, and she had recently founded a global education foundation. She had been referred to me by another client, who described her as a hungry mind who had a frantic heart and a disorganized life. It was the first time she had reached out to me directly, so I decided to respond. I would have been about five years old. He showed me how his arms were twitching and told me it was because something had got into his body. I now know these were fasciculations, the involuntary quivering of the muscles seen in motor neurone disease. Motor neurone disease was then, and still is, a death sentence. None the less he made the obligatory trip to Lourdes in France, the place of pilgrimage for the suffering and dying. He spoke about the magic properties of the water and how it seemed to dry very quickly compared to ordinary water. The power of faith. My grandfather went downhill and died a few years later in the Bolingbroke Hospital adjacent to Wandsworth Common. Aunty Lizzie from Dublin swore that night she heard the banshees wail. Religion and superstition unified. I would have waited. But I didn't--because I'm a cheap carny whore to my ego.

I am insecure, so I had to be first. I wanted people to hear my voice so they knew I was normal and not crazy. I was like Liz Warren in seventh-grade English, wildly waving her hand with the right answer first. If I had simply asked myself that simple question first--Is this a plus or a minus? In fact, if I had asked this question before a lot of things I've done in my life, I'd have more pluses than minuses in my life--and fewer neighbors pooping in my garden. The Plus question I always ask myself is this: Is what I'm about to write publicly really that important? When you screw up, apologize with verve. When I realized I had jumped the gun on Covington, I didn't just jump back, I performed restitution. But a child's passion can also be made to serve you as a glimpse into what the individual most values, and how he sees his own self measuring up to that yardstick. I invite you to examine the trajectory of special interests a person holds over his or her lifetime. Look for themes. Specific interests may last as white hot, short bursts, or continue to varying intensities over years. But generally, they do evolve. We may never put away a love entirely, but we move on to another. Let me try to help you relate. You may have had conversations with long-time friends who point out similarities in dating partners you've chosen, maybe physical, maybe personality types, maybe both. Maybe you see trends in types of people you prefer as friends or bosses. Whatever the case, you can step back, take a look at those patterns, and draw some conclusions about yourself. But none of these observations prove that the brain produces the mind or that the mind is confined to the brain. Consider your television set.

Although you can damage it physically and destroy the picture on the screen, this does not prove that the TV set actually makes the picture. We know, rather, that the picture is due to electromagnetic signals originating outside the set itself and that the TV set receives, amplifies, and displays the signals; All we ever observe is the concomitant variations or correlations between states of the brain and states of the mind. Night always follows day; Similarly, Gary Schwartz, who earned his PhD in psychology from Harvard, served as a professor at Yale and is currently a professor at the University of Arizona, agrees with Dr Dossey's stance. After spending most of his career holding the materialist view of brain first, mind second, Dr Schwartz now concludes: Mind is first. Consciousness exists independently of brain activity. It does not depend upon the brain for its survival. I'm here to propose something that I believe too few of us realize: Health is our new beauty myth. Health, and, by extension, fitness and wellness. So says the super fat chick who loves cronuts, many will scoff. This is most certainly not a popular opinion. Culturally, we tend to believe all diagnoses, opinions, and commentary from all medical professionals. We don't fart with or question anything about health and medicine, including our infatuation with it. This, dear friends, at the very least, deserves questioning. And the reading of article 5. In the last few decades we, societally, have created some space to unpack the issues around body image. We've now had the conversation about how extreme eating disorders like anorexia nervosa aren't healthy so many times that some countries have started banning unnaturally thin bodies of a skeleton nature from runways, movies, and fashion spreads. Work with them and not around them, getting them to understand how important it is to look after things and respect their belongings. They have to do it at school, so why not at home too?

How you go about it and phrase your requests can make all the difference between success and failure. Children don't react well to `Just put it away' or `Tidy up this mess now'. This is not only very negative, but also difficult to achieve, when half the time they don't know where to put things. It can make them feel that they are being punished because you're angry with the mess and this can lead to them perceiving tidying up as an unpleasant task rather than something they would do naturally. So, try changing how you ask them to do it: `Where is its home? `Shall we label these boxes, so you know where your things are? By motivating them to tidy up and doing it in a friendly, enjoyable way, you will encourage your children to be more enthusiastic and they will want to help. Young women are told that if they can just find the right mentor, they will be pushed up the ladder and whisked away to the corner office to live happily ever after. Once again, we are teaching women to be too dependent on others. This waiting for luck to strike is the antithesis of lateral thinking. And the research shows she's right. All those expensive mentorship programs that corporations put on to smash strangers together in the hopes of increased success are basically just rolling dice. But in light of Underhill's research, the GOSH doctors did something very right: They managed to build an organic bond with the Formula 1 pit crews. By the time the handover problems had been fixed, the relationship between the doctors and racers had developed beyond what Elliott and Goldman originally envisioned. They had gone to Formula 1 seeking technical help, and ended up becoming friends. The GOSH doctors and nurses needed to model moves of master handoverers, and nobody beat Formula 1 pit crews at complicated equipment swaps. Ferrari's process for tire replacement didn't map exactly to unhooking and rehooking ventilators, but its masterful approach to teamwork in tight spaces did. The parents of anxious children are generally very eager to learn new strategies to help their kids, which is a really positive first step. My role is to take in parents' concerns and challenges, and to try to contain the situation for them.

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