A Better Son

But anchors can also intensify trauma. The breath, for instance, is far from neutral for many survivors. It's an area of the body that can hold tension related to a trauma and connect to overwhelming, life-threatening events. When Dylan paid attention to the rising and falling of his abdomen, he would be swamped with memories of mocking faces while walking down the hallway. Other times, feeling a constriction of his breath in the chest echoed a feeling of immobility, which was a traumatic reminder. For Dylan, the breath simply wasn't a neutral anchor. As a remedy, we can encourage survivors to establish stabilizing anchors of attention. This means finding a focus of attention that supports one's window of tolerance--creating stability in the nervous system as opposed to dysregulation. Normally all the blood returns straight to the heart to be recycled, but in the digestive system it goes to the liver instead. The importance of this is that the liver gets to see everything you absorb from your food first. Blood coming from the gut can contain many different things; It is vitally important that the liver gets to give this a clean first before it goes to your heart. Poisons can be detoxified, bacteria killed, fats made more mellow. This is part of the JueYin function of protecting the Heart. When working well, the liver handles all this work with aplomb. However, if the liver is working slowly then this system gets backed up. In extremis, when the liver is failing the pressure in the portal system rises so much that the liver literally sweats out fluid into the peritoneum. To non-medics, Otherwise it doesn't count. It's just forced.

And forced forgiveness is no forgiveness at all. I sigh, in exasperation, angry again. It's ridiculous. I'm not causing myself to be traumatised by not forgiving. It's the trauma that traumatised me, not my response to it. And actually I've got every right to be angry at it. It feels like we're saying that it's okay. But it's not okay. Ask the provider what fees she charges for sessions? If your treatment involves multiple sessions a week, are the fees for individual and group therapy different or the same? Will the therapist accept your insurance? Some practitioners don't accept all insurance plans, and others don't accept any insurance plans. Furthermore, some insurance plans don't include mental health. We recommend that you check with your insurance plan, as well as with the therapist. Sometimes providers can convince insurance companies to pay for more than their usual reimbursement when the treatment is a validated treatment for BPD. Do you have a professional license? Ask whether or not the provider has a license to practice. If not, go elsewhere. Working Hard to Succeed I've done a lot of exciting things in my lifetime.

No matter what I did, if one door closed, I kept looking for another one to get my foot in. Obviously, having Asperger's and not knowing it made for an endless array of obstacles that got in my way. Sometimes I felt like the ball in a pinball machine--no matter which way I went, something was blocking me. But it didn't matter. I knew that eventually I'd find a way to get where I wanted to be. I was willing to work hard. When I completed my article and saw with clarity all the things I've accomplished in life, despite having Asperger's syndrome, it enabled me to be the hope and inspiration for others with Asperger's. I believe that they, too, can achieve their dreams by thinking positively and believing in themselves. On this basis, it may be a signal of curiosity, uncertainty, or questioning. If you support your head with your hands while tilting your head, this may be a sign of thinking about something, or in the case of an ongoing conversation, it is a sign of disinterest. Listed slightly forward and pulled back may be suspicious. General Body Posture Emotions can also be detected by body posture. Studies have shown that it is possible to recognize body postures more accurately than with different or neutral sensations. For example, an angry person will establish dominance over another person, and their stance will tend to approach. Compare it with people who feel fear: they feel weak, obedient, and their positions show avoidance tendencies, which is the opposite of angry people. Sitting or standing postures also express a person's emotions. Somebody who sits on the back of the chair and leans forward sits with their heads, nods, and then discusses, which means they are open, relaxed, and can usually listen. These isms are tied to laws, policies, basic economic resources, and social norms that function as a backdrop to our daily lives. SOCIAL IDENTITY

Systems of oppression divide groups into two categories: those that are privileged and everyone else. This division creates binaries that divide different identities into those that are desirable and those that are undesirable. Many of us have identities that position us on both sides of the binary: White and poor, Black and able-bodied, and so forth. This is the nature of supremacy, anti-oppression educator Leticia Nieto wrote. One group is consistently overvalued, and to foster the benefit of that smaller group, everyone else is devalued (Nieto et al. Social identities are rich, elaborate, and problematic. They connect us with others, creating a sense of belonging and contributing meaning to our lives. At the same time, social identities, or categories, are artificially constructed and often based on outdated notions that restrict freedom and choice. Completely calm and composed in G4, I lowered my gaze and looked at the man's fists, and in that moment he dropped them. It melted away from him as it did from me. He was still loud and angry - completely justifiably, in his view - but he left the room without further argument, without slamming doors. And that day, everything was fine. It was very impressive. THE CONCEPT OF NOT-DOING In ancient Greek mythology, there are explanations for everything. Let's take Homer's epic poem the Odyssey as an example. In it, the hero Odysseus falls into the hands of Polyphemus, a one-eyed giant with immeasurable power who represents the Underworld. How could Odysseus overcome Polyphemus? Defending Your Life - After those serious flicks, we thought it might be time for a laugh. This movie takes place at a weigh station of sorts, a stopover for the recently deceased.

Seems that this life is just one of many, but to get to the next one--and higher level--you must defend your actions and decisions from the life just ended. Those unable to move ahead are sent back to earth (ha ha! This is a genuinely funny film from Albert Brooks that is also full of insights into the human condition. Have you lived well enough to defend your life? Truly Madly Deeply - The thinking woman's Ghost. Nina's lover has been dead for some time but she can't let go. Her grief is so great that he returns to her, but is he a projection of her mind or has the love of her life come back from the dead? A dark comedy in the best British sense, but also a smart character study. Each person's anchor will vary: for some, it could be the sensations of their hands resting on their thighs, or their buttocks on the cushion. Other stabilizing anchors might include another sense altogether, such as hearing or sight. When Dylan and I worked together, it took a while until he could find a part of his body that didn't make him more agitated. He eventually found that the sense of hearing was a neutral anchor of attention. At my office, he'd listen for the sound of the birds or the traffic outside, which he found to be stabilizing. It's subtle, he said to me, opening his eyes and rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. But it is a lot less charged. I'm not getting riled up the same way, which is a huge relief. In sessions together, Dylan's anchor was a spot he'd rest his attention on at the beginning of a session or a place to return to if he felt overwhelmed. If he practiced meditation at home--I'd recommended short periods if he could stay in his window of tolerance--he used hearing as an anchor, or home base as he called it. However, unlike `monkey jo-jo numani', the peritoneum really exists. The peritoneum is an enormous (potential) space in your abdomen.