A One-Sided Issue

He'd said, `It's true. When we are born, the train compartment commences its journey. All our trains are headed towards the same destination: Death. That's the final stop for everyone. This is not bollocks, mate. Give it a think. When someone enters your field of vision, they enter your compartment. The first people who entered mine were probably my mother, the doctor and a few nurses. The doctor and the nurses faded--in Jim's terms, they left my compartment and I've never seen them since. I would like to share exactly how I assisted this fifth-grade child to mood-shift from despair and trauma-driven fight (defiance and refusal to do his math) and flight behaviors (running out of classroom), to sensations and emotions of pride and triumph. Carlos: Mood-Shifting to Develop Resilience with an Anxious and Defiant Student Carlos's head hung down. He was failing math and in trouble at school about three out of five days a week for disruptive behavior--most of which erupted during math. He had been kicked out of class and was then sent to see me because of his resistance to start his assignment, accompanied by an angry outburst. If his teacher put pressure on him to perform, he often became defiant. She reported that he would get up and bolt out of class. Carlos's teacher was convinced that he had ADHD. (Note: Many students, like Carlos, avoid written work, especially with a challenging subject. Some are perfectionists who begin working, only to scrunch up their paper in a fit of frustration. Now you are going to focus on the time that you spend caring for yourself, which I am sure that you realized very quickly that you never really do much at all, so it is time to start now.

Prioritize what is most important, put yourself at the top of the list and make sure that you remain there, that spot needs to be yours at all times because taking care of you is vital to you being able to help and take care of others. You now have an awareness of your power to change anything, so just make a decision and put your plan into action. Coming to the conclusion that your self-care, your health, your partner, and your family are all more important than anything else that you may have going on, which includes your career. Do not ever make your career or work more important than your family; Learn to get your mind together, sit down, relax and focus on what is truly important in your life, now is the time to prioritize the things in your world, and start using the precious time in each day for the things that really matter the most. Come up with a list of things that are of vital importance, while also taking a moment to determine what items and people need to be cut off immediately. If you do this correctly, it should include a few of your bad habits and a few of those no-good friends. You will notice that you do not need them once you reorganize your life and focus only on what is essential to you being able to live an effective life. This will definitely cut down on your stress because you are now only focused on the things that will be in harmony; These are both extremely common conditions to have, so much that most people struggle with them at least some point in their life. There are times where life brings more stress than our threshold can deal with. You might be dealing with a family crisis or the end of a long-term relationship. Sometimes it isn't even one big tragedy, but a culmination of smaller stressful events that add up to overload. Having a problem does not make you crazy. It makes you self-aware. Everyone has met a person who does not have this quality. Think about a person you have known who never held themselves responsible for anything. Any time something goes wrong for them, they blame it on the shortcomings of others, and therefore, they never get better. What you are doing does the opposite. When power and reason don't work, sometimes the only recourse is to avoid the conversation altogether.

THE VOICE OF AVOIDANCE The only winning move is not to play. I would prefer not to. Leave me out of it. When I share my fascination with arguments and disagreement with people, one of the most common responses I get is that they prefer to avoid arguments whenever possible. If you relate, you are not alone. In fact, you are likely a member of a quiet majority--often also known as the way of the conflict avoider. That term may have positive or negative connotations for you, but for now, let's talk about it as a neutral description of a quiet but effective strategy that we all employ to a certain extent. Conflict avoiders have identified flaws in the voices of power and reason and so have chosen to address conflicts by simply refusing to participate in them in the first place. My mom was an it is what it is and it's gonna be what it's gonna be type of woman. And that's how she parented us. She just didn't understand complaining a la suffering. It was some years after Pebbles had died, and I was all in my feelings again. I had another kiddie panic attack, wishing I had my bird back again. I was hyperventilating while stomping up and down our hallway pouting and basically letting my thug tears win at life. My mom was in the middle of cleaning up, so I kind of knew I was in the way and bothering her Sunday routine. But I wanted my bird back. When I walked past her for the umpteenth time, she slammed the mop in the bucket of water and softly screamed, Listen! There's nothing you or I can do about it. Each of these committees has a senior leader assigned to them as a liaison to process important data and assess strategic decisions.

To make a working board effective, boundaries must be set and clear responsibility distinction has to be done. A working board is self-sufficient. They have their own agenda, do evaluation of performance often, and they have face-to-face meetings. Working boards have more responsibilities than consent boards, thus their workload and work hours may be longer. This form of governance has its own weaknesses, such as becoming comfortable and stagnant in the organizational identity and getting burned out. Strategic Board When relationships strengthen between senior leaders and the board, they may evolve to become a strategic board. This usually happens when the board has developed confidence in the skills and aptitude of senior leaders to fulfill their tasks with excellence. Senior leaders are entrusted to develop three- to five-year plans. It is great to have a Lama, a Rabbi, a Guru, a Priest, a Sheikh, a Minister, from whom we can fill up our energy reserves. But to attain self-recharging is the real achievement. To be able to reach that stage, we need to have an awareness of what fear does to us. We have to be aware that fear is the thing that blocks our positive energies. Once we are aware of that, the fear itself becomes powerless. Fear has power only while hiding, hiding in our sub-consciousness. Fear is a tricky little thing, it won't expose itself, it hides in the darkness; So, just expose it to light and it will lose its power. Light is actually our awakened mind. The more stable your awakened mind is, the more you are able to self-recharge. I don't recollect their faces.

Adults think babies are dumb, but some of us remember those early days very distinctly. Those adults really weren't important, as they hopped out of my field of vision before I could really get to know them or make any sense of their presence. They were all of my age, except for the teacher. They would spend a few hours in my train before they stepped off. Then, unfailingly, they would reappear again the next day. Whenever they stepped out, my mother would step back into the train. People would come and go. I was the only constant in the train. Some left and returned later, some never did return. This can be the beginning of a long bad day for both student and teacher that they are unable to shake. Often these children live with deep shame about what they perceive as a lack of competence. For these students, the ability to shift attitude or mood seems insurmountable. Low frustration tolerance makes transitioning from one activity to another difficult as well. When I met with Carlos, he told me that he hated math. Instead of asking, Why do you hate math? I began a sensation-based process with him, to help give him a new experience. Fresh, positive, interoceptive sensory experiences build new linkages for success in the brain and body. The following activity was developed spontaneously for Carlos and other students like him, whose mood seems cast in despair. The process, which I call mood-shifting, aims to lift children out of a foul mood by helping them discover their own internal resiliency: Positive thoughts and energy should be the center of your attention, while those negative thoughts are not lasting as long as they used to.