Absorb your Attacker's Energy

People sinned out of choice and then blamed it on the Devil. I told him that he was crazy to believe that all humans are angels and the sins they commit are solely because the Devil influences them. He snarled, `Your mind has been taken over by the Devil! After several train journeys and dozens of similarly mindless interactions, I came to a conclusion. There had to be another way to get my question answered. The common denominators in most of the theories were distorted concepts of God. I truly believe in God, but I didn't buy any of the ideas of God these people shared with me. The God of my understanding is omnipresent, and all-knowing. Possessing infinite love, compassion and wisdom beyond human comprehension. Lee, there are two leading causes of school shootings: 87% of the killers had claimed, or left evidence indicating, that they were victims of severe and long-term bullying; Chart shows that out of a pool of 1,451 shooting incidents since 1970, almost half of the school shootings (737) have been committed by a current student, followed by 501 incidents with an unknown or no relation to the school. Source: Center for Homeland Defense and Security, Naval Postgraduate School, K-12 School Shooting Database, Shooting Incident Graphs, Shooter's Affiliation with School, www. Chart reports that out of a pool of 1,451 shooting incidents since 1970, there are nineteen causes categorized--all derived from possible childhood trauma preventable with proper attention and treatment. Source: Center for Homeland Defense and Security, Naval Postgraduate School, K-12 School Shooting Database, Shooting Incident Graphs, Incidents by Category, www. Lee's study on causal factors of school violence has huge implications for designing safer schools. It means that schools have a choice and a voice to become the purveyors of deep systemic change. When effective bully prevention programs are implemented and students are taught self-regulation practices along with learning respect and compassion for their classmates, as a daily theme, this will help institute a safe school climate. This is what I mean by internal and external safeguards. An anti-bullying program and a curriculum replete with social-emotional lessons are the external protective factors, while teaching children various self-regulation skills and having heart-centered adults build healthy relationships with students are the internal resilience factors. Take a stand, make a promise to yourself to start doing those things that you really want to do, things that interest you and things that will serve as beneficial to your future goals and plans.

Start learning how to please yourself and not everyone else, it is time for a change. In terms of changing the way you think, you are going to have to start exercising complete control, which will show others that the new you has arrived and is here to stay. Improving your ability to say now is going to depend on your attitude, your determination and the habits that you currently have. You are going to need to recognize that this new habit of saying NO will only help you to get where you are going. Remember, other people are not the only ones that you will need to have the courage to say no to, that person in the mirror is the one that you will have to fight the most. Just remember not to mistake those things that feel good to you, for what is best for your health and your life overall. This will take much self-control and discipline, telling yourself no, when you have the urge or become tempted to do something that is not good for you. All you have to do is to make that choice to change your attitude, and you will begin to see that most of the things in your life will begin to change automatically. To work on becoming this type of individual, the first thing you can work on is to look for evidence that life is good each time something goes bad for you. It is not because you aren't as capable as other people. It is not the world trying to tell you that you are not cut out to do this. You are just at the beginning of your journey to success. When you look at those people who made it, many of them went through everything you are going through right now and then some. When you are putting forth effort, whether you believe it or not, you are conjuring up results. Imagine someone practicing archery. Even if they did not hit the mark they wanted to, they are still gaining experience when they practice. As time goes on, they will notice they are making it closer to their target every time. Eventually, their aim will be exact. It will take more than just a few major practice sessions. The first surprise

I collected a bit more information from each of the people who responded and created this visualization of their responses so we could all look at this important issue together. Seeing our very visceral reactions and positions in a two-dimensional space helped us appreciate their diversity. It also had the added benefit of making the responses to the question less personal. The little dots on the chart didn't have names or faces attached (mostly because that would have been beyond my skills). When you were looking at the results, it was hard to even remember which dot was your own. When you depersonalize a position in an argument, it becomes possible to imagine having other positions, in the same way that you might walk around a room and try sitting in different chairs. The second surprise The next thing I did was to go back through all the comments people had left and try to cluster reasons people had shared for holding the positions they held. It took a little bit more questioning and back-and-forth, and then some clustering of answers, but fairly quickly I produced a prioritized list of beliefs that each camp used to justify their reactions. It was their memories together. Afterward, we all headed to the church basement for a few funeral favorites. When we returned to the house, I was left sitting on the floor in the middle of my parents' empty living room by myself. Everyone had left. Even my dad went to party his grief away. I was in an empty home with just old pictures of my mom and the smell of her hospital sheets. I was left alone with my thoughts and with this new annoyance called grief. I haven't spoken to much of my mom's side of my family since that day they left me. That was three years ago! My dad sometimes calls on birthdays and holidays. The nature of systems dynamics is complex and hard to follow, and therefore you can often feel unsure about the proposed interventions to change them.

What if something's missing? What if we didn't take something important into consideration? Try to recall a recent complex problem presented in the news. Whenever a politician presents a proposal for change, it is followed by projections made by experts on what the consequence could be if the new law gets enforced--or if it isn't. Their assessment is usually vague, though, and provides little information about how the system's behavior will be affected due to the changes. The lack of information makes it difficult to grasp the system's dynamic and to have a real, meaningful debate on the subject. There are some useful computer simulation software packages such as STELLA which can be helpful to provide a more holistic picture about the system. What are stocks and flows? A stock is an agglomeration within the system. When the guests are gone their reaction would be: we fulfilled the obligation and finally we are safe and in peace until they give us a host return dinner. What other types do we have? There are several combinations of the above. And then we have the constant seekers. They move around the globe, going from one country to the next. They may seek different spiritual sources, for example shopping for lamas, or seek to achieve one university diploma after the other. All these different types of people are subconsciously seeking self-protection against the ultimate fear. They should realize that the answer cannot be found anywhere outside themselves, but only within US, inside Ourselves, and only by accepting death. When we achieve that, we have liberated ourselves forever. We become fearless (fear less - being without fear) and we are able to climb the ladder of liberation higher and higher to reach greater happiness. This God of my understanding cannot create a hell with oceans of fire with numerous snakes and scorpions to torture his creations.

Even if I shut my brain off to try to buy into this theory, I still cannot comprehend why the snakes and scorpions in the fire would not be broiled themselves. I believe that both Heaven and Hell happen on earth. We live through them in our lifetime. Heaven and Hell are just different states of mind. When we do good, what we feel is heaven--and vice-versa. There are no rewards or penalties in the afterlife. The laws of cause and effect are equal and simultaneous. However, to be cognisant of the synchronicity might take a long time on most occasions. Even if there is an afterlife, it would be governed by the same laws as our present universe. The nation may be divided over the alteration or elimination of the controversial Second Amendment to the U. Constitution, but nobody argues against the need for more programs fostering sound mental health. Districts, states, and perhaps the nation can institute interventions backed by scientific research referenced in this article to nourish students' emotional maturation, sense of belonging, and establishment of meaningful relationships. This is the antidote to perpetuating a society negatively altered by PTS. The recipe for resilience cannot be simply the icing on the cake of a blue-ribbon academic program. It must be integral. Before the fMRI and relevant research studies on the brain and gut, effective and natural trauma treatments were unavailable. Now that we have the science and the tools, we can begin the healing process armed with an understanding of what self-regulation requires, how neuroplasticity works, and how to transform the underlying dynamics of trauma physiology. Since trauma resides in the nervous system and not the event, it can linger and make too many of our students anxious, depressed, and ill. We can recalibrate nervous systems altered by trauma, and change lives for the better. Every time misfortune comes into your life, all you have to do is think of and focus on something that you really love, this will occupy your mind until the bad feelings pass.