Tuesday, 10 November 2020

Body Language Attraction

Level 2: You sweat a bit. You hear that your favorite actor committed suicide. You learn that you have a condition that prevents you from eating dairy, gluten, or sugar for the next six months and, depending on the results of the trial period, maybe the rest of your life. Level 3: There's a mild emergency going on now. Your boss tells you that the business isn't doing as well as hoped and the company has to eliminate some positions, including yours. Level 4: The problem won't kill you, but you're not going to recover from this unscathed. You learn that your partner cheated on you a few years ago and that it might still be going on. A freak accident kills a close friend. Level 5: Really bad things happen: you end up in the hospital, a brush fire burns down your block, you lose your spouse or child to a freak accident--you get the point. The children who have to live inside of that family chaos and unpredictability will become deficient in a lot of ways. After my teeny-tiny stint in therapy, I realized why I didn't trust the majority of people who claimed to love me (with the exception of my mom, of course). Growing up, it felt like everyone around me claimed to love me, but they were all lying. They were all liars. I never knew who I was supposed to believe. I would see something happen, or be involved in what I believed to be a pure catastrophe, and I'd be forced to lie about it. Soon I believed those lies. I believed I was doing the right thing by lying to everyone about our lives. That is the fruit of my poisoned family tree. { Uncovering and admitting dysfunction } Some tasks don't require all our expertise, and the marginal return any extra investment of time, energy, or focus brings is simply not worth it.

My friend and role model, Derek Sivers, told me a story once. He used to bike down Venice Beach every morning when he lived in LA. He was kind of competitive about it. He was biking as hard as he could, huffing and puffing, investing all his might and energy into the process. He went up and down the beach in 43 minutes. He didn't enjoy it. Every day, it was more and more burdensome for him to go out and bike because he knew the physical pain he'd feel. So one day, he changed his mind. He didn't rush; The choice is ours. Because our nature is love - loving compassion. Our nature is giving to others and if we are afraid to open up, our golden heart remains blocked. Just as the sunshine cannot reach us when it is blocked by the clouds. Here comes my favorite explanation of why we should open up. Well, most of us like to give, because giving to others makes us happy - it gives back to us, a pleasant feeling in our heart {5} {my friend Salvatore Amodio, from Amalfi, taught me when we were in Fusilier. Accepting is giving as well! If you enjoy giving, learn to accept! It's a wonderful gift to know you are making someone happy by giving. To reinforce this point, I put this question to you. I reframed my question, thinking that he didn't understand it.

I put on a serious expression, `What is the meaning of life, umm. My ego got injured; I assumed he was being sarcastic. The honesty behind my question was lost and I was on an ego trip once again. Battle lines were drawn in my mind. Whatever happened now, I had to win. After some contemplation, a battle plan was chalked out. I had to instigate him to talk about the cycle of karma. And I had a question ready for that. This capacity to explore their inner world of the felt sense with a spirit of curiosity gives them vital channels of information to release trauma's grip. Whether a student remains distressed or bounces back with resilience depends on several factors. Arguably, the most important of these has to do with the child's or adolescent's level of resilience before a frightening incident occurs. The establishment of a safe and secure relationship formed with one's primary caregiver during the first three years of life and strengthened over the course of the next several years is the foundation for this bounce-back ability. The adult attachment figure must be both stable and available as a dependable anchor the child can return to again and again for comfort and soothing, even as they move further into the world, developing a separate, autonomous sense of self. The secret sauce is that the caregiver uses their own mature nervous system to co-regulate the immature child. This is a process of lovingly calming the upset infant, toddler, or preschooler by remaining in a regulated, nonagitated state rather than becoming distressed like the little one. The research of Bowlby, Ainsworth, and Main enlightened us about attachment theory, which will be further discussed in the next article. For now, it is sufficient to understand that your students will start their school career having either a secure or insecure attachment to their caregiver. Entering kindergarten having had a consistently secure attachment is one of the key resilience factors. Being empathetic means, you have the ability that is needed to recognize, understand, share, and actually care about how someone else is feeling.

This is very important for all of our relationships because we all want to feel as if we are loved, respected and needed. People are conditioned to notice if you truly care about what they are saying and what they may be going through, and you can show this by listening to each word and making sure that you try to understand what they are saying. Show that you are active in the conversation by using your body language, making sure to have direct eye contact, and remember to ask questions as well as respond to them. Adjusting the tone of voice as the conversation changes show that you are interested in and listening to what is being said. When you are truly empathetic, people are able to feel that, so just be genuine, compassionate and understanding. Love is a Choice Some of the old school traditions suggest that love is a thing that happens to us because we are unable to control ourselves, which can be somewhat true, but making the choice to stay with someone and continue a relationship is yours and yours alone. This may not be as romantic as some people want it to be, but in reality, the key to being happy is having self-love, self-awareness, and choosing to continue loving your partner, once again making the choice to continue to fight for the love that you have within your relationship. True love can sometimes be a matter of destiny, but making a decision to work hard to keep the relationship going, is not, it involves making a choice and sticking with it. It cannot go anywhere that you do not urge it to. You can decide what you learn and what you unlearn. Now let's talk about ways to keep your mind in top condition. Did you know doing something as simple as reading a article can be a part of using neuroplasticity? You should spend at least half an hour every day reading to keep your brain active. It doesn't always have to be the most cerebral of articles. In fact, it can be a silly story. As long as you are immersing yourself into a article, you are giving your neurons the workout they need and deserve. If you think about it, reading takes a great deal of mental force. Broken down to its basics, a article is a string of words jumbled together to form some kind of message for the reader to discover. Anxiety is subjective.

The examples above may even be way off and out of order for you--if so, spend a few minutes calibrating the scale to your own experiences. You'll also notice that anxiety doesn't have to lead to a disagreement. The kind of anxiety we're discussing is caused by any internal inconsistency between two perspectives. Sometimes one perspective is your beliefs and another is someone else's beliefs; Scan this list of potential triggers for anxiety and attempt to rate them 1 to 5 on your own anxiety scale: You are in a rush to get to work and your main route is unexpectedly under construction, adding an hour to your arrival time. Your friend throws a plastic bottle into the garbage can, even though there's a recycling bin sitting right next to it. You learn, as a child, that adults were lying to you about something (Santa, for example) when someone tells you that what you believed isn't true. Your friend tells you she thinks your house is haunted by the previous owner of the house, who apparently hung herself in the basement. Most of the world envisions alcoholics and drug addicts as homeless bums who have been abandoned by life and annoyingly reside on our streets. Some of us view addicts as the men and women of our world who have royally betrayed their God-given talents for a cheap plastic bottle of vodka wrapped in a brown paper bag or a dirty needle filled with life's so-called greatest high. Google any statistic about addiction, and you will read that we're all wrong. Few addicts fit this visual we've conjured up. Most addicts are functional. My family addicts were or, should I say, are. I'll never know what life moments actually led my dad to use drugs. I've always wondered: what was the evolution of addiction? I can imagine that the anxiety and pressure that comes with marrying your pregnant high school sweetheart could have been overwhelming. Or maybe it was just as simple as a case of casual drug use gone insanely wrong. When he was done, he surprisingly experienced that he'd ridden the same distance in 47 minutes.

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