Classical conditioning

The woman assists man in making his life (and hers) complete. She fills up the empty places. She shares his life with him and draws him out of himself into a wider area of contact through the involvement they have with one another. She is one who can enter into responsible companionship. The partners in a marriage relationship are actually fulfilling God's purpose of completeness, or wholeness, in life. Communication The companionship and completeness God intended for marriage grow out of communication as two people share each day the meaning of their lives. As Dwight Small says, The heart of marriage is its communication system. Recall that uncertainty-identity theory says that people join and identify with groups to reduce negative feelings of uncertainty. Does this mean that leaving groups always increases uncertainty about oneself and the broader world? Sometimes leaving is exactly what the person or subgroup needs to do to maintain certainty in his or her worldview. For example, when the individual perceives that the group has changed or has acted in a way that violates an important value or norm, belonging to that group is no longer useful in validating that individual's worldview, and it may even increase uncertainty. The individual may therefore disidentify with the group or leave it altogether in order to uphold the norm. This can result in what are called schisms, which occur when a subgroup of people break away from the larger parent group and form their own group or join a different parent group. These schisms happen because the subgroup feels that the parent group has forgotten or violated its own core values (Sani & Todman, 2002). For example, in 2010, a substantial number of people left the Republican Party because they felt it was ignoring its own principle of fighting against big government. They formed the conservative Tea Party movement, which places more explicit emphasis on that principle. In these cases, people sacrifice the certainty of being in a group for the certainty of maintaining their values. Trend: Hello livable cities Fossil fuel combustion is the world's most significant threat to children's health, and it's a major cause of global inequality and environmental injustice.

Each year, pollution kills fifteen times more people than all wars and other forms of violence combined. Changing the way we power our cities and how we travel around and between them is crucial. What's exciting is that the innovations being put in place to solve these issues have benefits not only for addressing climate change and pollution, but for increasing our joy and sense of community too. A global mass transit revolution When we walk, cycle, or use public transit, we improve our own health, lower health care costs,28 lower greenhouse gas emissions, reduce air pollution, and reduce other environmental and safety problems caused by cars. We're undergoing a global mass-transit revolution. The world is building mass public transit networks faster than ever before, and the number of people switching to use them is increasing. In 2017, 53 billion passengers traveled by mass transit. But no couple begins marriage with highly developed communication. It is not something they bring into marriage ready, but something to be continually cultivated through all the experiences of their shared life. Aurois is credited with saying that a happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short. What about it? How do you relate to that statement? When you exchanged your wedding vows, the words leave and cleave became part of your life. Did you understand these words? To leave means to sever one relationship before establishing another. This does not mean that you disregard your parents. Rather, it requires that you break your tie to them and assume responsibility for your spouse. Bolstering Self-Esteem We've seen that people join and identify with groups to bolster their self-esteem.

But what happens when a person feels incapable of living up to the group's standards of value? Under such circumstances, the person may seek alternative groups whose worldviews seem to provide more attainable standards of self-worth. This happens when people convert to new religions or join cults. Cults generally target people struggling economically and young people searching for a positive identity and sense of purpose. People who join cults and experience religious conversions are generally under stress and have shaky self-esteem. After joining these new groups, they experience increases in self-esteem and purpose in life, as well as a reduced fear of death (Levine, 1981; Paloutzian, 1981; Ullman, 1982). That's an increase of about nine billion passengers since 2012. Bikes, bikes, bikes Cities are turning to bikes to help solve congestion, pollution, climate change, and safety and health issues. Today nearly a thousand bike-sharing schemes exist in cities. Fifteen years ago, there were four. Indeed, between 2014 and 2018, the number of bike-sharing programs around the world doubled, and the number of public bikes increased by a factor of twenty. Comprehensive bike- and road-safety studies demonstrate that building safer routes for cyclists is one of the biggest factors in making streets safer for everyone, including car drivers. By calming traffic and slowing speeds, bike infrastructure reduces the rate of fatal car crashes, which kill forty thousand people every year in the US, according to a 2019 study. Fortaleza, the fifth-largest city in Brazil, saw traffic fatalities drop to their lowest level in fifteen years after creating cycling infrastructure, priority bus lanes, and lower speed limits on city streets. With more modes of mobility to choose from--think scooters, bike sharing, public transit, ride-hailing, and car-sharing--increasing concerns about climate change, air pollution, and gridlock, and the proliferation of mobile apps that can beckon a vehicle on demand, private car ownership for many people is becoming obsolete, especially among people who live in cities where cars can be an expensive inconvenience. To cleave means to weld together. When a man cleaves to his wife, they become one flesh.

This term is a beautiful capsule description of the oneness, completeness and permanence that God intended in the marriage relationship. It suggests a unique oneness--a total commitment to intimacy in all of life together, symbolized by the sexual union. Years ago I heard a choice description of the coming together involved in cleaving. If you hold a lump of dark green clay in one hand and a lump of light green clay in the other hand, you can clearly identify the two different shades of color. However, when you mold the two lumps together, at first glance you see just one lump of green clay. When you inspect the lump closely you see the distinct and separate lines of dark and light green clay. This is a picture of your marriage relationship. The two of you are blended together so that you appear as one, yet each of you retains your distinct identity and personality. Ruslan Tsarni, the uncle of the suspected bombers at the 2013 Boston Marathon, reacted to the news that they might have committed the bombings by distancing himself and the rest of his family from them. What happens when members cannot view the group positively, perhaps because a rival group is more successful? In these situations, belonging to a group threatens to decrease self-esteem. Sometimes group members stick with their group through the rough times, but in some situations they distance themselves from the group to protect their own self-esteem. In one study (Snyder et al. People will occasionally disidentify with their group even if just one other group member does something negative (Eidelman & Biernat, 2003). In general, we assume that members of a group share similar beliefs and characteristics. Thus, when a member of your own group does something embarrassing or immoral, you may fear that you will be found guilty by association, simply because you are in the same group as that person (Cooper & Jones, 1969). When the group identity is very important, however, and the behavior is seen as being out of character for the group, another strategy is to oust the perpetrator psychologically from the group. Ruslan Tsarni, the uncle of the Tsarnaev brothers, the two men believed to be responsible for the bombings at the 2013 Boston Marathon, described them as losers and said they brought shame on their family and their Chechen ethnic group. This is a crucial trend, since two-thirds of the world's population is expected to live in megacities by midcentury. Millennials and Gen Z in particular are turning away from car ownership.

Surveys reveal many reasons they eschew cars--cars are a major cause of air pollution and greenhouse gas emissions, the horrific number of people killed by cars, the expense and inequity of car ownership, and the headache of maintenance and parking, to name a few. About 64 percent of India's Gen Z and millennials question the need to own a vehicle, and 59 percent of them are now using ride-hailing services, up from 38 percent just two years before, according to the 2020 Global Automotive Consumer Study. A number of big cities are getting serious about congestion pricing, one of the biggest positive steps to reducing the number of cars in city centers. It works by charging cars to drive in popular areas. The result is fewer cars on the road, which means less pollution and traffic jams. Singapore has been using it for almost fifty years. When London, England, began congestion pricing in 2012, traffic dropped by 30 percent in the first year. New York City will be the first US city to impose congestion pricing starting in 2021, when drivers will have to pay to enter the core of Manhattan. But now you have a marriage personality that exists in the two of you. A Christian marriage involves more than the blending of two people. It also includes a third person--Jesus Christ--who gives meaning, guidance and direction to the relationship. When He presides in a marriage, then and only then is it a Christian marriage. Since your wedding, how have you handled leaving your parents? How have you become one flesh with your spouse, coming together and yet retaining who you are as individuals? Why not talk about it? What's Your Plan? Think back to the time before you were married. What did you think marriage would be like? In this way, he clearly distanced not only himself but also the rest of the family and Chechens in general from them and their alleged misdeeds. Managing Mortality Concerns