First Transmission

I own horses, and one day I needed to purchase hay for them. However, I was going to be at work for fourteen hours that day and therefore unable to get to the feed store. My mom offered to drive me to work and then take my truck over to pick up the hay for me. There was only one problem: When I got out of the truck at work, I didn't realize this bully was watching me. About a week later, several coworkers asked me if it was true that I'd lost my license for driving drunk. I don't drink, and I'm very much against drunk driving. To say I was shocked is an understatement. Where on earth did you get that from? They hide things from you. You will find that they sometimes make a phone call in another room, go to other places without telling you, or discover your rough other activities and show secrets. You might have lunch with friends if they find that they are angry. It looks like they are wasting their time, but you are not sure what they are doing when you are away. You are not allowed privacy. They want privacy, but they won't let you have any privacy. They may check you over the phone or text message to see if you get what you want. They may want to check phone activity to find out who you are communicating with. You will be blamed for what they did. If your partner suddenly feels frustrated or remembers a mistake he made before, and he will pin it on you. Whether it's the safe and reassuring smile of a loved one or the trained guidance of a trauma professional, other people are a wellspring of self-regulation. They help us feel safe, modulate our arousal, and support us in staying in our window of tolerance.

While private mindfulness meditation can be a powerful practice for survivors, it is most effective for survivors when paired with practices that involve interpersonal connection. This brings us to the fourth principle of trauma-sensitive mindfulness: practice in relationship. While mindfulness is a relational practice at its core, this principle refers specifically to interpersonal relationships--as in those between two or more people. Practicing in relationship means we leverage the potential benefits of interpersonal relationship for survivors, buoying their safety, stability, and the window of tolerance. Sometimes this will mean offering longer--or more frequent--interviews to students on meditation retreats or connecting survivors with a trauma professional. Other times it will involve creating specific agreements that support the communities you're offering mindfulness to. Like what the monk did with Rachel, our work is to try to track the individual needs of survivors and offer counsel that best serves their recovery. If I was stronger, Sam said to me, I'd be able to stick with my practice. The same applies if somebody chooses similar-looking wives or husbands over the course of five marriages - the issue isn't resolved. As soon as the person affected resolves the issue, they're free. They don't even have to end a relationship; As issues or emotions are resolved with the help of what we call the `energy acceptance technique,' energy is contained in storage, or the `water tank,' and can be used (you'll learn about these concepts in article 10, `The Energy Acceptance Technique'). The emotions themselves and the manner in which they're resolved shouldn't be judged. One person might start to gasp, another to twitch, while yet another might shout or cry - but they're letting out the emotions without judgment or getting involved with them. The emotions will simply dissolve; With Yogan, we're `anchoring' nothing - instead we're entering G4 - and in this moment, nothing is static anymore. None of these emotions exist; As soon as the emotions are gone, the `water tank' dries up and isn't refilled. But I thank whoever put it together. Here are the contents:

Satan is unreal if: Satan's power will decrease if: Your last breath is away from him. Well, I hadn't thought about it quite like that. I offer these ideas now in case they're helpful to you. They seem pretty angelic. HOMEWORK: THE GREATEST LOVE LETTER OF ALL I tell my writing students to make a list of the things they need to write before they die. In the case of students, I generally mean, What projects are eating at you to get done? Card tables are too unstable. Safety and convenience are the objectives in recovery. The L shape will encourage you to look in both directions. Install a wall mirror above the desk on your affected side. This will assist you in adapting to your visual field. Make sure computer peripherals, such as printers and scanners, are nearby. Other useful items are a digital voice recorder for that sudden burst of enlightenment, a paper shredder, and a copy machine. Check each installation, so that it is convenient for your unaffected side. A revolving tray is easy to operate one handed. Some hard-wired phones have large buttons to make the numbers more convenient. In normal concentration sugar is vital to the functioning of every cell, but in diabetes levels of sugar rise and instead of becoming healthy it becomes toxic. Once the levels get high enough, the sugar overflows through the kidneys, sucking water with it through osmosis.

As a result the patient starts to constantly pee, but is always thirsty trying to replenish the lost fluids. Eventually the patient becomes severely dehydrated and only insulin can save them. Even though the above example causes massive dehydration, and therefore would appear to be an example of dryness, it is driven by an osmotic Dampness created by excess sugar. The sugar and water combined overflow and pour out of the body, leaving the contents within sweeter, stickier and altogether nastier. This is an example of what time does to Dampness. It turns it into something more pathological, something nastier, something that in Chinese medicine is called Phlegm - congealed Dampness. Everyone knows what phlegm is - we cough it up when we have a cold. Thanks to medical science we now know that what occurs in the arteries of people with coronary disease is also `phlegm'. The alarm is over. This thought, this feeling, this glimpse hasn't been as scary as I'd feared. That too, is a habit: the way my brain resists anything new, any insight, in case it's dangerous. Better the devil we know, it says. So it warns me, screams quietly, not to go there, not to think, not to make the connection. It wants us to stay as we are, because we've survived as we are. But I'm not under attack any more. It just feels like it. But I'm not. So I can do more than survive. These kids who never have to face an unplanned situation typically end up with totally predictable schemas. World schemas in action

People's world schemas can pop up anytime and anywhere. The following story about Lily, who doesn't have BPD, and Kaitlyn, who does have BPD, shows how schemas affect everyday occurrences at work. People with BPD tend to have more extreme schemas and, therefore, react to events with greater emotionality and intensity than people who don't have the disorder. Lily and Kaitlyn are nurses who work the night shift in a big city hospital. Both nurses enjoy the relative quiet and slower pace that the night shift offers. They work on the fourth floor in labor and delivery. Lily, who is entering notes on a computer, pauses. Kaitlyn, chatting with an expectant father, stops midsentence. I asked these people. It was unanimous: the bully. I went to my boss about it, to which he replied, Well, she's like that, and everyone knows it. I didn't find that response very helpful. Four years later, that drunk-driving rumor was still going around about me. I corrected people when they asked me, but how many didn't ask me and believed it? That was an extremely stressful experience. I cried over it for sure, but in the end I just picked myself up and kept forging ahead. EARLY YEARS AND BEING CALLED NAMES I have a half-brother, Warren (not his real name), who is nine years older than myself. They use you as a scapegoat for wrongdoing, making you feel wrong in the process and trying their forgiveness. You did nothing illegal, but they make you feel that way.