Journal Prompts for Self Discovery and Self Improvement

Southern White men are also more likely than northern White men to believe that lethal violence is justified as a means of defending life, family, property, or reputation after they perceive it as impugned. The culture of honor extends even to names of towns and businesses. More town and business names in the South conjure up images of battle and violence than in the North (Kelly, 1999). If you're driving across Delaware, New Hampshire, or New Jersey, you might happen to spot Woodlawn Kennels, Crenshaw Church, or a town called Tranquility. But in Texas and Alabama, you might drive past Battle Ax Church, Gunsmoke Kennels, or a town called Warrior. Recall the scenario of someone bumping into you in a hallway and then cursing at you for being in his way. Cohen and his colleagues (1996) put unsuspecting male college students from either the North or the South in that very situation. Students from the North did not have much of a reaction to the insult, but students from the South showed comparative increases in aggressive feelings, thoughts, and physiology. You can also use mindfulness breaks to stop emotional reactions and keep yourself on course. There are a couple of techniques in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) that can be helpful in dealing with bad events. The first is reframing. Let's say something has just happened that upset or angered you, but it isn't major enough to warrant breaking discipline. It could be a bad day at work, an argument with your spouse, whatever. What you need to do is imagine the event just as it happened. As you are playing this through your imagination, put a literal frame around the memory - a bright, funny designed one. Back this up by replacing the audio in your memory with ridiculous sounds like circus music or babies laughing. Repeatedly envision the memory, and keep on imagining extremely ridiculous and funny things happening around the memory. This will fry the memory circuits and break the short-term grip that this memory has on your mind. On the second date the N might describe the first date in such a way that the S wonders if they were on the same date. Reality can become a bit distorted by the N's imagination.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? Which of the previous characteristics fit you and which fit your spouse? Can you describe a time when you had difficulty communicating because of the way the two of you are? Differences in Giving Directions An S and an N differ greatly in the way they give directions. Let's apply the differences by showing how each type would instruct someone to follow a recipe. Here are the ingredients (as printed in a cookarticle) for pumpkin soup: Here are the directions written to a sensor's specifications: They were more likely to think their masculine reputations were threatened and were more upset and primed for an aggressive response, as indicated by higher levels of cortisol, testosterone, and aggressive cognitions. And later on they were more likely to act in a hyper-macho way to restore their bruised honor. For example, they were slower to move out of the way when walking toward another confederate in a narrow hallway through which only one person could pass at a time (see FIGURE 12. And this person was 6 feet, 3 inches tall and weighed 250 pounds--no small dude! Culture of Honor After being insulted, students from the South showed greater increases in testosterone than those from the North, and they were subsequently less likely to back down when approaching another confederate in a narrow hallway. An image shows two graphs: one represents under experimental condition the percent change in testosterone level during control and insult for northern subject and southern subject; The percent change in testosterone level during control for northern subject and southern subject is plotted as 4 and 4. The percent change in testosterone level during insult for northern subject and southern subject is plotted as 6 and 10. The distance at which subject gives way to confederate in inches during control for northern subject and southern subject is plotted as 75 and 108 respectively. It's a great way to stop something from bothering you. The second method is dissociation.

Here you can either be visualizing a memory of something that's bothering you or an emotion you're struggling with. Visualize that you are now outside of yourself and that you're observing the scene unfold. Zoom out on the scene really far, far enough that you can see the entire block (assuming you're in a building). See how your situation or emotion isn't really affecting anything else? Zoom out further, far enough to see the whole town, then the country, then right out into space. Is anything being changed or affected by your situation? Now zoom back in, nearly all the way so you can see yourself again. How do you feel about the memory/emotion now? Lay out necessary equipment, including heavy pan, knife, caliper (please look this one up in a dictionary if you don't know what it is), thermometer, carpenter's level, tablespoons, measuring cups. Be sure you check ingredients. Consult cookarticle or call a friend to find out how much nutmeg is a dash and how much salt and pepper should go into a batch of pumpkin soup. The mushrooms and onions need to be chopped (calipers will be helpful here--3/16-inch thickness recommended). Saute mushrooms and onions in butter. After sauteing in butter, add one tablespoon flour. This thickens the sauce a bit, preparatory to adding the liquids, and results in a thicker soup. You will know the mushrooms are cooked when a table knife encounters resistance when you try to cut one. You will know the onions are done when a table knife passes easily through. Use a carpenter's level to be sure. The distance at which subject gives way to confederate in inches during insult for northern subject and southern subject is plotted as 30 and 60 respectively. Why did the culture of honor develop primarily in the South and West?

Cohen and Nisbett (1994; Nisbett & Cohen, 1996) theorize that the answer goes back to the environmental and economic conditions in the places the American settlers came from and in the regions where they settled. Many southern settlers came from pastoral, herding societies, such as Scotland. Other settlers, who migrated to the arid western regions of the country, became economically more dependent on cattle ranching and sheepherding than on farming. In contrast, the North largely was settled by farmers and developed a more agricultural, as opposed to herding, economy. Because people from a herding-based culture are more vulnerable to having their livelihood (eg, livestock) rustled away, norms developed whereby men cultivated a rough, tough affect, responding harshly and violently to even the smallest threat or slight. These aggressive responses were intended to discourage theft of their means of sustenance. In contrast, because it is more difficult to steal a whole crop than a single sheep, such norms did not develop in the more agricultural North. Observe as if you were an onlooker, seeing the original reaction of yourself. This is helpful to analyze how you're behaving in an objective manner. This visualization will leave you in a more rational state of mind when you leave it. Both of these techniques work well for dealing with setbacks. Use them to maintain your discipline, and keep on being the person you want to be. Staying on Course When you've begun the transformation, you have to maintain it. It's important to be brutally honest with yourself. During a bad run in the 2015-16 season, NBA legend Kobe Bryant described himself as the 200th best player in the league and said he freaking sucks. This wasn't a sentiment on his ability as a player, it was a reflection on his recent performances. Add milk, and heat without boiling. Here is how an intuitive might give the instructions (same ingredients):

There is a lot of possibility for creativity in this soup. A good, rich pumpkin soup offers potential for simultaneous cooking. Open your refrigerator. Now let your imagination roam. Water chestnuts, olives, a dab of mustard, some pieces of chicken. If you are going to call this pumpkin soup, it might help to have some pumpkin, but mashed carrots, squash or even sweet potatoes will do. You might want to start by sauteing any ingredient that needs this process. In this way you will need to use only one pan. Herding cultures are associated with cultures of honor. In addition, because much of the South and West remained frontier land with widely scattered, less effective law enforcement, it became even more important to protect one's own property. As a result, norms for retributive justice are thought to have developed in the South and West more vigorously than in the North. Similar perceptions and reactions have been observed among participants from Brazil and Chile (Vandello & Cohen, 2003; Vandello et al. Nowak et al. They used a computer simulation to argue that cultures of honor arise primarily when environments are difficult and authorities are ineffective. Even after these conditions may no longer apply, the culture of honor tends to persist, reinforced by institutional norms and scripts of action that people learn through socialization processes and extending to their attitudes and behavior. People from the South have a more lenient attitude toward crimes--even murder--when they believe the perpetrator is acting to protect honor, for example, killing to defend his family (Vandello et al. Indeed, when employers were sent a job application from a fictitious applicant who admitted that he had impulsively killed a man who had an affair with his wife and then publicly taunted him about it, southern employers responded more sympathetically than those in the North (Cohen & Nisbett, 1997). Anybody can mess up and get things wrong. What matters is that you put it right.