Friday, 6 November 2020

Little Things (That Keep Us Together)

I can't believe you're so negative all the time! Isabella, please, don't be angry with me. I'm really glad you were accepted. Can't we start this conversation over? Isabella stalks off, refuses to talk, and rips her acceptance letter into shreds. Sam knows that her tantrum can last a minute or several hours. He hears her slamming drawers, throwing things, and sobbing in the bedroom, followed by silence. Afraid that she may be cutting herself again, he goes to her. Your palms face toward your body, and your fingers are almost, but not quite, touching. Within the circle of your arms, imagine everyone in your world whom you love, and all the world and its grief and pain. Inhale again and take a slightly higher backbend, your arms opening up around the level of your waist. This backbend is slightly higher in the spine. Feel as if you are letting everything go. It isn't your responsibility to heal all the trials and tribulations of the world. Exhale with the sssss sound and bring your fingertips close, but not touching. Your arms are in front of your chest here. Feel as if you are Adam on the Sistine Chapel ceiling and God is reaching down to you. Feel that inexorable joy that comes when the divine spirit is indeed reaching out for you. It's a whole level right here. You know where this of women its top-tier game.

In the fucks you give are zero. That's when you next level, that's when you truly have an abundance mindset. Having an abundance mindset does it mean not giving a fuck about women. I think people tend to think that. So in the dating world, if I say I have an abundance mindset, that means I don't pedestalize women. It goes beyond that. Having an abundance mindset is giving zero fucks. Going for what you want. Probably our biggest disagreement was my love of rock `n roll music as a teenager. He was a semiprofessional jazz musician and couldn't accept rock. He passed away from what was believed to be early-onset Alzheimer disease in his early fifties. Now I have a stepdad, whom I get along with. My family is Jewish, and in my early childhood, I attended Sunday school at the synagogue. But ever since I was a toddler, I was jealous of my friends who celebrated Christmas, and Christmas got into my blood. So, we adopted some Christian traditions, like having a Christmas tree with presents. When I was about fourteen, my parents no longer felt it was necessary to follow Judaism, so we freely enjoyed the fun and excitement of the holidays. Holidays for us were about family, food, music, and decorations. We were taught to do good and that God watches over us, but we were never raised in a spiritual way or taught to worship God or Jesus or to believe in heaven or hell or any of that. What turns compassion into right high behavior is that its beneficiaries find that attention is greatly rewarded. It makes us responsible for knowing when to get out of other people's shoes and how to get out.

Knowing and sharing the emotional state of others is a complex internal experience. It requires self-awareness, the ability to distinguish between the feelings of oneself and others, the ability to see from the eyes of others, the ability to recognize the emotions of others and oneself, and the knowledge to regulate these feelings. Overly sympathetic people may even lose the ability to understand what they want or need. They may not be able to make decisions by their best interests. They will suffer physical and mental exhaustion due to their deviating feelings. They may lack internal resources to provide the best help to key people in their lives. Also, endless Empathy can cause others to be underestimated, in which case, another person will deny your reality to assert your facts. For example, when you feel frustrated that your friend was excluded from the last party, she replied: Oh, you are too sensitive. They are likely to cry, pout, or get angry. Listen to the nature of other people's complaints. If they are trying to blame you for something they should take responsibility for, confront them. If they have been hurt by something you've said or done, take action to restore the relationship (pp. Whom do you expect to be a blamer once you set and maintain some boundaries? You may need to set boundaries on people in real need. If you are a loving person, it will break your heart to say no to someone you love who is in need. But there are limits to what you can and cannot give. Empathize with people in need. Send them to those who can help them. What if I'm putting two and two together and coming up with five? You don't know that I was abused!

She nods slowly at me and in a way that is telling me that she hears my pain and is wanting me to take a breath and calm a little. I'm not an investigator. I'm a therapist. I'm here to sit with you while you discover your truth. I butt in because I'm still too angry with myself to stay quiet. What if I'm too screwed up to know what's true from what's not? You don't know if I was really abused or not, if I'm just making it all up, and neither do I. So how can I recover from all this stuff'--I'm waving my arms again--`if I don't even know for sure what's causing it? Said another way, they need to stay in their window of tolerance. Anything else can become a setup for failure and heightened pain. This is why prioritizing the window of tolerance is so important in trauma-informed mindfulness. Focusing on stabilization and safety increases the likelihood that one's mindfulness practice will be safe, sustainable, and successful. While it may be tempting to speed people along into Phases II and III, the necessity of establishing safety and stability in Phase I cannot be underestimated. As we saw in the case of Brooke, the window of tolerance can serve as a guidepost when working with students and clients. If we assess that a meditation student is hyperaroused, we might choose to encourage them to take a break from practice. Or we might decide to have a conversation with them about what is happening in their practice, asking how we can best support their stability. This holds true for students and clients themselves. We don't need to keep the window a secret, but can talk to others about how the window applies to them and ways they can work with it skillfully. Seeing no immediate danger and with a compliant and informed patient we decided to watch and wait. Thirty minutes later he rapidly started turning a shade of purple best described as puce.

His breathing was becoming laboured and strangely I found myself starting to feel rather unwell. In a cold sweat I drew up 1 milligram of adrenaline, diluted it 1 to 10 in water and then diluted this again 1 to 10 in water. What I had now was 100 micrograms of adrenaline in 10 ml of water. The patient was feeling very anxious at this stage and said his heart was racing and felt very unwell - he looked terrible. Desperately trying to control my own rising heart rate I coolly reassured him before instilling 1/2 millilitre - 0. I waited a few seconds and then infused another five micrograms. His anaphylaxis had completely resolved in a matter of a few minutes, if not seconds! My raging tachycardia took a while longer. It is much better to wear clothing you can manage alone than wearing clothing that you may need help with for dressing or toileting. Some of these styles include sports shoes, shoes with zip closures on the instep, bear claw sandals, pull-on style boots, or walking shoes that can be laced with self-closure type laces. If you have an ankle-foot orthotic (AFO), your therapist may recommend a specific shoe for you. Ladies, comfortable supportive shoes are more important to safety and movement than high heels are to fashion. Avoid a trip to the emergency room because of a broken ankle caused by wearing high heels. Your AFO may require a size larger than your other foot wears. When you purchase shoes, you may have to buy two pairs in order to compensate for the brace. Whatever you choose, keep your fingers and hands covered in the cold. You may not feel your fingers post-stroke, but they're still subject to frostbite. If you live in a cold part of the country where winters are harsh, the snow is deep, and the layered look is protocol, mittens may be easier to manage, at least for the first year post-stroke. The terror of the end rarely appears as fear because we ward off our fear of death through eating fads, plastic surgery, hair coloring, the life of Homo consumens, and the frantic urge to do more and be more. Meanwhile, our skin sags, our hair grays, and we do less and less, unable to be what we are not: younger and further away from death.

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