Tuesday, 3 November 2020

Protecting and Enhancing Self-Esteem: Cultural Differences

Warmth that Goes Beyond Words As a consultant and communication coach, I often work with clients to help them become more comfortable with public speaking. The work we do preparing them to speak can be very helpful, but sometimes a client is attacked by nerves midway through their big speech. It's easy to spot. Words that were flowing suddenly dry up, or they begin to look a little uneasy as self-doubt creeps in. By choosing the right numbers and the right procedures, you can help teams perform better. These are some of the tools and techniques, often low-hanging fruit, behavioral design offers to improve our classrooms and boardrooms, tests and performance evaluations, hiring and promotions, and policy- and decision-making. Based on evidence from experimental studies in most cases, this article shows that small changes can have surprising effects. Big data improves our understanding of what is broken and needs fixing, blind or comparative evaluation procedures help us hire the best instead of those who look the part, and role models shape what people think is possible. Building on what works, behavioral design creates better and fairer organizations and societies. It will not solve all our gender-related problems, but it will move the needle, and often at shockingly low cost and high speed. THE PROBLEM Unconscious Bias Is Everywhere Meet Howard Roizen, a venture capitalist, former entrepreneur, and proficient networker. A case study taught at many business schools describes how he became a power player in Silicon Valley. Raise your arms over your head, with your upper arms near your ear. As you say SAT, contract your navel and then relax as you say NAM. Say SAT as a sharp intake of breath and NAM as a more extended exhalation. Try to continue this position and mantra for about one minute, extending every time you do it again until you reach 3 minutes as a regular routine. If you think you are strong enough, extend this time to 10 minutes or even half an hour every day.

Kundalini Stretch Pose - Strengthening the Solar Plexus Chakra This stretch pose physically strengthens your navel and core, and the navel chakra and the solar plexus chakra. This pose is important for you to have a strong core, tone the belly, enhance willpower, and strengthen character. Lie down on your back, your arms under you to help support you and the palms facing down. Lift both feet about 12 inches high from the ground, head raised level with your feet, eyes focused on your legs. When I'm present, it's my job to switch to silent encouragement mode. You can do this, too. My client Genevieve is a delightful woman from France. She speaks flawless English with a warm French accent. But like many who speak English as a second language, she sometimes feels like she's not communicating properly. She worries that her word choice could be more sophisticated, or that her accent will get in the way of her message's effectiveness. Genevieve was making a presentation at a workshop I was running. She got off to a strong, confident start and the audience was fascinated by her motivational message. However, partway through her presentation, Genevieve suffered from a sudden bout of self-doubt. Her voice wavered and she seemed to lose track of what she was saying. He co-founded a very successful tech company, then became an executive at Apple, subsequently turning his attention to venture capitalism. Most recently, he became a member of the boards of directors of several prestigious companies. He is a friend of Bill Gates and was close to Steve Jobs. He maintains one of the most extensive networks in Silicon Valley. After studying the case, students were asked to evaluate Howard's performance.

They rated him as highly competent and effective. They also said that they liked him and would be willing to hire him or work with him. But Howard does not actually exist. His real name is Heidi. He is a woman. Holding this pose, start the breath of fire, or if you prefer, you can opt for long deep breathing. If this is too difficult for you, you can raise your legs one at a time, starting with your right then switching to the left. You can hold this pose along with the breathing exercises for a minimum of 15 seconds together or on each foot. Work your way up to a minute until you can do 10 minutes, but don't push your limits. Build your strength slowly and gradually. Camel Pose - Heart Health and Clearing the Heart Chakra The camel pose has many health benefits that are widely recognized. In fact, this particular pose has been adopted by nearly every type of yoga routine. This pose opens and heals the heart chakra and balances the navel chakra. It is also good for overall health as it strengthens immunity and builds strength. I knew it was time to give Genevieve a nonverbal boost so she could get back on track. When Genevieve's eyes settled on my face, I made strong eye contact and smiled broadly as if to say, Wow, I'm loving every word of what you have to say. I nodded, too, in a wordless but emphatic agreement with the opinions she was expressing. Noticing my encouragement, she quickly found her place again and carried on with vigor and clear direction. Next time she looked at me, I smiled again and made a thumbs-up sign to say, Fantastic, this is perfect!

Sometimes people need wordless encouragement to continue. Whether someone is making a presentation to a group, speaking up in a small meeting, or even talking in a one-on-one conversation, we can help them feel encouraged and spur them on. Maybe a junior colleague wishes to speak during a meeting but isn't as confident as your longer-standing colleagues. You can employ the same tactics to encourage quieter people to continue speaking once they've started. Smile, nod, and silently urge them to continue when they pause or stumble, or when their words seem to dry up. And when studying the absolutely identical case with the protagonist being female, students find Heidi as competent and effective as Howard, but they no longer like or want to work with this successful entrepreneur and venture capitalist. My friend Kathleen McGinn of Harvard Business School originally wrote the case study about Heidi Roizen in 2000 to highlight the steps taken by one successful entrepreneur to build and leverage personal and professional networks. A few years later, I encountered it again in a research seminar. Two professors had given half of their students McGinn's original case, which accurately identified Heidi, and the other half the same case, but with Howard swapped in for Heidi. This allowed them to compare how students felt about Heidi and Howard. Many business schools have since run the experiment, using it as a pedagogical tool to help their MBA students experience gender bias. Afterward, the students realize that the prototypical leader in their minds is male. Heidi does not look or act the part: she cannot be competent and likable at the same time. What is celebrated as entrepreneurship, self-confidence, and vision in a man is perceived as arrogance and self-promotion in a woman. Women can't win. Sit up on your knees that must be hip-width apart. Your toes should be flat behind you. Tilt back, your face turned upwards, extend your chest and arch your back as your hand reaches down to hold the heels of your foot. Your hips should be pressed forward. If this is too difficult, you can just extend your chest and arch your back but keep your hands to your waist, supporting your extension but putting just a bit of pressure too.

Do the breath of fire in this pose for about 30 seconds to a minute, and gradually extend the time until you manage to hold the pose for 7 minutes. Shoulder Stand - Massages the Neck and Nourishes the Brain This yoga position is excellent for promoting brain health and brain function. It also calms the mind and brings forth peacefulness. This pose also massages the neck and opens up the chakras. If your colleagues attempt to interrupt, a simple gesture like a raised index finger to silence their interjection can encourage the speaker to keep going and show them they have supporters in the room. Sometimes words are not enough. People respond to positive cues, so show them you want more of the same by nodding enthusiastically, smiling, and showing positive energy with your stance, gestures, and openness. Not Too Heavy with the Handshake The handshake is a sign of connection and openness, an opportunity to show you are a friend who can be trusted in life and business. According to National Geographic , handshakes originated at a time when people frequently carried weapons for their protection. The shaking of hands, palm to palm--knife, gun, or bow and arrow aside--conveyed a message of peace and trust and indicated a desire to strike up a genuine relationship. Since that time, the handshake has become a universal gesture of connection, whether between friends or strangers, and almost always regardless of rank. Even royals such as the Queen of England have been known to shake hands with their guests. If you are offered a handshake, it's important to get it right. If they conform to the feminine stereotype of nurture and care for others, they tend to be liked but not respected. Dozens of studies have now demonstrated that women face a trade-off between competence and likability. Women in stereotypically male domains encounter backlash at every juncture: when getting hired, compensated, and promoted. Psychologists believe that these negative reactions are due to a clash between our stereotypical perceptions of what women are or should be like (their gender roles), and the qualities we think are necessary to perform a typically male job. If women like Heidi demonstrate that they can do a man's job, they no longer fit our mental model of the ideal woman.

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