Start Wearing Purple

As we covered earlier in the article, each person has a specific scope to their window of tolerance. Some have wide zones, meaning they can tolerate a lot of stimuli, while others have narrower zones, so that it takes less input to create dysregulated arousal. When people know if they're in or outside of their window of tolerance, they can more successfully self-regulate and make informed decisions about their lives. One tool that students and clients can use to track arousal--and report to you, as a mindfulness practitioner--is an arousal scale ranging from 0 to 10. An Arousal Scale to Assess Range On the low end of the scale, people may experience extreme fatigue, lethargy, and even immobility (hypoarousal). At the higher end, they can experience extreme agitation and heightened emotional reactivity (hyperarousal). While the actual numbers students and clients report are slightly arbitrary, using the scale enables them to track and determine their level of arousal, gives them an ongoing reference point about the breadth of their range, and enables them to self-report to teachers or clinicians on their level of internal arousal. Hence why articles 23 and 61 of the NeiJing SuWen (Plain Questions) states the Kidneys dominate the marrow. NEIJING SUWEN, article 23, 2ND CENTURY BC Vitamin D is a complex hormone whose production involves the guts, parathyroid gland, skin, liver and kidney. If I tried to describe all these interactions I would have only confused myself more by the end of the article. It is so confusing that by the time that it acts on the bone it isn't even called vitamin D any more - it is called calcitriol. However, the end-point of the transformation of vitamin D is the kidneys, and it is these that have the final say in the levels of vitamin D (calcitriol), the most important hormone for bone health. Vitamin D deficiency is known as rickets and it causes weak and poor bone growth. The kidneys control this process by having the final step. The role of the kidneys in bone formation goes further than this, though: the kidneys are instrumental in maintaining calcium and phosphate metabolism, from which the crystals of bone are formed. It is quite amazing that ancient Chinese medicine intimately linked these two organs. There are also opportunities to learn. You may have the opportunity to go to college or take a community educational course.

An opportunity for spiritual or religious growth happens quickly when we face medical and emotional challenges. Seek a spiritual leader of your religious affiliation for advice and direction. Be patient with yourself, keep a healing journal, and focus on one goal at a time. Find the balance between your family's time constraints and independence of each family member. Slow down and modify your lifestyle to involve problem solving. The most important aspect of our environment is feeling safe around the people we love, respect, and rely on to help us heal. If there is ever an issue with your safety, call 911 immediately. The Healing Power of Humor (Tips 185-192) Instead, he embraced the woman she was, which freed him to find the woman he eventually embraced and married, the woman who, in turn, embraced him. This man was right: a dying life is not worth living. If he had killed himself, he would have avoided the pain of facing the dead engagement, but he also would have lost the chance to let go of an idea in his head and find a woman in the world. The therapist helped him let go of the fiance who had already let go of him. This is why we say someone is attached to an idea: this man held onto the idea of a woman who wanted him because the real woman didn't. He was not attached to her but to what was not there and not real. We can even be attached to the idea of suicide itself. A woman met me for a consultation after having been suicidal in spite of therapy that lasted for twenty years. When I said she deadened her feelings, she replied, Maybe I want to be dead. The good news is, if you want to, you can. Write them down, even if they seem overwhelming or impossible to you right now. Ask family and friends for ideas as well.

Consider each idea. Which ones are not possible? Which ones are doable but difficult to implement? Put a question mark after these. Which ones could you do in the next week to month? Put a check after these. Make a contract with yourself to do all the things you checked off. Set specific dates for having them completed. For example, research shows that certain positive character traits, such as gratitude, hope, kindness, leadership, and teamwork, increased in Americans following the 9 /11 terrorist attacks. When it comes to anger management, putting on the boxing gloves or punching a pillow is far more likely to increase, not decrease, feelings of aggression. Instead, it is possible to significantly reduce such feelings by focusing on the benefits that emerged from the seemingly negative events underlying your anger. IN 59 SECONDS When you experience an event that has the potential to make you feel angry, try the following exercise to ease the pain and help you move on. Spend a few moments thinking about the positive aspects of the event that you found hurtful. For example, did the event help you . Write down how you have benefited from the experience and how your life is better as a result of what happened. Do not withhold anything and be as honest as possible. FOUR 15-SECOND TIPS FOR CONQUERING STRESS If you've ever had seasonal allergies (allergic rhinitis), you know the feeling: itchy, watery eyes, waterfalls from your running nose, irritability, fatigue, sneezing, and more sneezing. At first you might think it's a cold, but allergies do not come with a fever, and the nasal discharge is runny and clear, instead of the yellow-to-green thicker stuff that's typical of a cold.

Allergic rhinitis (hay fever) brings about reactions to airborne pollens and grasses. Symp-toms occur between February and the fall. Perennial rhinitis is characterized by hay fever symptoms all year round. It can be triggered by environmental factors such as animal hair, food additives, feathers, or fungus. Put a Close to the Runny Nose Oriental medicine can offer significant relief for allergy sufferers; I got help, and so can you. The kind of traditional oriental diagnosis you have is determined by your symptoms. I recall a man once saying to me, Looking back over our therapy, I feel that nothing else that happened was quite so impactful as the simple fact that I always felt respected by you. I pulled everything I could to make you despise me and throw me out. I kept trying to make you act like my father. You refused to cooperate. Somehow, I had to deal with that, I had to let that in, which was difficult at first, but as I did the therapy began to take hold. I remembered that at one of our first sessions he had remarked, My father would talk to any busboy with more courtesy than he ever showed to me. When a client is describing feelings of fear, or pain, or anger, it is not helpful to respond with, Oh, you shouldn't feel that! A therapist is not a cheerleader. There is great value (for a therapy client or for anyone else) in expressing feelings without having to deal with criticism, condemnation, sarcasm, or lectures. The process of expression is often intrinsically healing. And his children and wife were very good to him. But what about my mother's right to have a life other than caregiver?

What about the planet? What about my children's lives, and the time that I could have been giving to them, but was giving to my father? While caretaking for my father taught me the valuable lessons of compassion, patience, and seeing a person with renewed clarity, I believe it was a breach of my personal growth in other ways. Who knows the right course of action, but I often wonder, what if: My parents had moved into assisted care a decade ago? And it was affordable? Not being run by a for-profit health care system? And it was comfortable? I don't want to pass the buck, but I do want to balance it. And you've protected yourself from that all your life through denial and dissociation. It's a big ask to move beyond that. It's a different way of coping. No wonder you're scared. No wonder you don't know if you'll cope. Because you've never done it before. I know where she's headed, so I jump in. My default will be to believe that I can't, because I don't have any evidence that I can. But you'll say'--I'm referencing previous discussions here--`that it's about transferable skills. She nods and smiles a little. There are still others who opt to meditate right before bed to allow their unconscious minds to work on their intentions while they sleep. Some people will find this time difficult because they are tired and have to fight their desire to fall asleep.