Waking Up the Body's Energies

We let our misperceptions, our coping mechanisms, and our unhealthy habits define us. This article is for those who have the courage to look behind the veil, explore the depths of their own being, and live their best life--not some compromised, settled-for existence, but a shining and glorious vibrant life! This does not come without effort. Barbara and Evelyn spoke at Rhoda's funeral. Each shared what they had learned from her. Barbara said, She taught me how to listen, to really listen rather than trying to control things--a gift I will always treasure. Evelyn said, She taught me that nothing is more important than showing up. A month before Rhoda died, she said she wanted a splendid funeral, with no false sentimentality. She got it. It was a packed house, a profoundly moving service. She would have approved. CULTIVATING PERSPECTIVE When bad things happen (which they will), you can both honor your fear and suffering, and also learn how to direct your attention away from it. Where did it all go wrong? For many, as we grow up, the messages relayed to us via the media and marketing all stand to distort our relationship with food. We may develop rules around food, live in cycles of gorging and restriction, of guilt and unashamed joy; For many of the patients I see, food often falls into two separate camps; There is no in-between. They associate `good' foods with how they make them feel or what they believe they will help them achieve, whether that is looking great or feeling better or just because it's cool. Similarly, they associate `bad' foods with ones that will derail them from those efforts to slim down, get fitter or be on trend.

We apply moral labels to food. We're `being good' or `are good' if we eat foods that we perceive to be just that: good. And we are being `naughty' or `bad' if we eat something we perceive to be either of those things. Maybe not the best reaction, right? And then you have your thinking brain. We'll call her Thinking Thelma. Thelma helps you think about situations before you act. She reminds you to use your self-control and to respond in the best way. When Susan cuts in line, Eddie might yell, HEY! I was here first! But Thinking Thelma will jump in to remind you that pushing Susan will get you in trouble. Thelma will also remind you that instead of pushing Susan, you can calmly ask her not to get in front of you. Emotional Eddie and Thinking Thelma can help you best when they work together as a team. Have you thought about how and why the narcissist picked you and you picked the narcissist? Ross Rosenberg, in his article The Human Magnet Syndrome,[1] identifies characteristics of people who choose continuing, long-term relationships with narcissists, much of which we discussed in article 2. As you begin the process of letting go of the narcissist and are better able to look at both of you with less anger and criticism, you'll be more able to reflect on the parts of yourself that may need strengthening and adjusting. You were chosen by the narcissist and you chose the narcissist for reasons that were probably indiscernible to you at the time. As these traits and tendencies become more visible, let yourself consider what ways you need to grow to fortify yourself against future manipulation by others. Upcoming articles will help you with this process. The most important element for change, however, is learning to stop judging, criticizing, or invalidating yourself.

Reassess Your Friends When you end a relationship with a narcissist, you may become aware that you have other narcissistic relationships that you hadn't noticed before. Narcissists can be entertaining and charming, but they make better acquaintances than real friends. The expectation is that unwanted habits or acts will decrease in frequency or stop entirely once the negative feelings are associated with the behavior. Aversion therapy is based on classical conditioning theory. Classical conditioning is when, due to a particular stimulus, you inadvertently or automatically learn a trait. You know, in other words, to respond to something based on repeated encounters with it. Aversion therapy uses conditioning but focuses on producing an adverse reaction, such as consuming alcohol or using drugs, to an unpleasant stimulus. The body is often programmed to get gratification from the drug in people with drug use disorders. For example, it tastes good and makes you feel good. The idea of aversion therapy is to modify that. The particular way of doing aversion therapy depends on the harmful activity or habit that is being treated. Chemical aversion of alcohol usage disorder is one widely used aversive treatment. Put the material to practice. Don't be that person who buys a article and doesn't apply it. Knowledge is not power; And you now hold in your hands the knowledge to take your leadership to the next level. We hear the term leadership a lot--on the news, while watching our favorite sports team, and at work. It is one of the most commonly used--misused--words, and it can take on several definitions. What is your definition of leadership?

This article is my definition. Leadership by Choice means making a conscious choice to positively influence those around you by managing yourself and leading others in four areas: communication, leading teams, productivity, and personal development. We see leadership, or the lack of it, throughout our entire day. You have to find a way to make yourself able to live your own authentic life regardless of what others say. You are not going to have a flawless reputation, no matter what. Also, think about this. Even if people notice and say things about you, it is a very small part of their day. It will be a fleeting thought and nothing more. This means it should be nothing more than a blip on your radar. Now, this is easier said than done because we are wired to want validation from others and to be liked, so how do we combat this? For one, weigh out what this one person has said about you compared to what everyone else has. Think about the people who are important in your life, are close to you, and that you have contact with on a day-to-day basis. This means your friends and family. It requires a mindset that believes in what's possible, a willingness to be honest, and the courage to change. Enlightened living requires persistence, diligence, and self-reflection. If you want to be free from what limits you, I encourage you to make the decision now to do whatever it takes. I have been a personal trainer and massage therapist for fifteen years, and I have worked with all kinds of people with all kinds of attitudes. I have worked with their bodies, their diets, and their challenges in life. I have both witnessed and experienced self-defeat, pride, false humility, and fear in every form. And equally so, I have witnessed and experienced absolute authenticity, courage, and the power of love.

I have been privy to incredible change and growth in some of my clients, and stagnation and a kind of flatline maintenance of the status quo in others. The difference is in people's attitudes, their beliefs, and their willingness to take action. This article and this journey are not for the skeptical and the cynical; You can find a way to connect more to the human family, as Rhoda did with the words, I am a child of God and Lindbergh did with the mustard seed story. You can learn to stop comparing yourself to others, which will only keep you riveted on the unfairness of life. You can have better quality of life each day if you practice focusing on what you still have. You are terminally ill, but you love the quality of light that comes through the window. You can no longer walk the trail, but you can sit outside and smell the night air. You have friends and relatives you love and value. The worst has happened, but you can watch the insects and birds do their work. There is still pleasure in what is near at hand. Many clients have told me that writing a gratitude list every night is a helpful ritual. I can hear the music. Why should what you eat be a determinant of your character? If I choose to eat a chocolate bar, am I a bad person? Why should we berate ourselves over `lacking willpower' or `having no self-control', based on our desire to eat something? Invariably creating such rigid, unrealistic rules around the food we eat can set us up to fail; When we perceive ourselves as bending the rules that one time, it can see us falling off the wagon: That is until the next slip-up. It's that `black-and-white' thinking that sets us on a difficult path of binging and restriction.