You Make These Anxiety Mistakes?

On the flip side, lying always stressed me out. I had to constantly remember what lies I had told, when, to whom, and keep them straight. In addition, I disrespected myself and even when I got away with my lies, deep down I was unhappy. I suffered from a sense of entitlement, and did not value gratitude. Much good came my way, but I barely saw it--I took all of it for granted. Revisiting those days, I recollect that I was too self-consumed, living in a bubble of self-pity--it added up to a state where I was grossly unhappy. I even took my home for granted. I would bristle if my father entered my bedroom. It was only when we had an argument and I left his home that I realised my bedroom had always been within the boundaries of his home. Underlying this situation of helplessness is an enormous vital energy. A simple reminder can easily trigger the energized body to have a mind of its own as it attempts to complete the fight or flight arousal cycle even in the absence of a clear and present danger. However, if the initial trauma occurred while the child was too young to self-protect, the trigger may bypass active defenses and default to a pattern of shutdown and dissociation even if the student is now a teenager. How does this outpouring of energy and its associated multiple changes in physiology affect us in the long run? The answer to this question is an important one in understanding trauma. It depends on what happens during and after the potentially overwhelming event. The key to avoid being traumatized is to use up the excess energy evoked for self-protection or defense. When the energy is not fully released, it does not simply go away; It can be general, specific, or mysterious. The trigger, no matter how vague the association, may lead to a flashback. When others see that you are making an effort to change, they will be more likely to be open to changing as well.

If we change ourselves, the tendencies around us would also change, along with the attitude of those around you. If you change how you think, then that will affect how you feel and what actions you take. Do not fear the unknown, embrace change, invite new ideas into your world, take a chance in life, that door that you are afraid to walk through, may have your dreams on the other side. Lose Your Routines Do not allow yourself to go through life doing the same thing day after day, year after year, be that person who can say that they took chances in life, and made a habit to try new things. Get out of your routine of the way that you normally do things every day. You should even make a few changes to the way that you live your life, pick one day, and change up everything that you would usually. Get out of your comfort zone, break the mold, and crack the code, force yourself to do something that makes you uneasy. This will build character strength, self-worth, confidence, and courage. You probably do not realize how much untapped potential you have. For example, you might not think you have what it takes to develop math skills, but think about the fact that there was a time that you did not know how to add or subtract, but now you do. This means you have the propensity to learn equations if you want to, and all other manners of skills that come with this. There is a power we gain the moment we recognize that we can either hold ourselves back or push ourselves forward. You are the only one who can truly stop you from doing what you want to do. We can create reasons in our minds that we cannot do something. You might think there is a force that will not let you. We settle into frustrating but still comfortable ideas that we are not in control of our own lives. For some people, this becomes a safe haven. The upside to letting others control your life is that you do not need to hold yourself accountable if you are unhappy with your life because the culpability for this lies with other people. I'm pretty sure it's Eris's favorite flower.

The first time we cleared them out we thought we were done with them. But it turns out you're never done with oxalis. Every one you pull out leaves a dozen or more little bulbs waiting to grow into new plants in the future. As new homeowners excited about settling in and working on our yard, those little yellow flowers gave us nightmares. How could we get rid of them? I started seeing them everywhere I went, and I began to judge my neighbors by how many of them they had growing in their yards. Every relationship is like a garden, and every garden has weeds. Arguments are the little weeds of our relationship that grow up around the things we intentionally plant. Some arguments don't seem so bad and might be easy to work around whenever they pop up. And then, life fucking happened! There was this global sized grenade thrown down at my feet. I didn't run. I couldn't run. I think the worst part of death is that you can't run from it. And now, there was no one to cover up my wounds before they began. I was forced to face death once again. But this time by myself. My mom's obituary reads, Yolanda Denny D. Brown passed away peacefully at home surrounded by her family on Sunday, April 28, 2013. Critical thinking is a metacognition otherwise known as thinking about thinking.

Critical thinking is important because it allows us to acknowledge our emotions but not be controlled by them, which is especially relevant when it's time to make a decision. Emotions are vital, especially to our memory and developing our personal tastes, but they can easily trick us too. They can mislead us into thinking we are making the right decision when we aren't. Have you ever heard that most eyewitnesses to crimes are unreliable? That's for many reasons. Sometimes it's due to outside influence, not getting as good a look at the perpetrator as the witness thought, or just the trauma of witnessing a violent crime. But it is well known amongst criminal trial attorneys and prosecutors that an eyewitness is one of the least reliable forms of evidence, and that is why circumstantial or forensic evidence to back up that witness testimony is always needed to help prove a person's guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. Luckily, critical thinking allows us to effectively handle our emotions by allowing us to sort through them and decide if they are appropriate for the current situation. When a person uses critical thinking skills, the decision is made regardless of if the problem or situation is right or wrong. They result in forced, premature death. On the other side, purging the negative energies that fear evokes has a definite end, which is PEACE. UNDERSTANDING. So, how to get rid of negative energies? By building up our positive energies? Well, not quite. Why is this? Positive energy is our nature. It is our essence. We should call it by its real name: LOVE. Until my thirties, the only rewards I sought were external--money, fame, appreciation, the approval of others, branded clothes, fancy toys, etc Of course it was pleasurable but only in the moment.

It was paradoxical: it ensured that happiness remained an ever elusive rainbow--you could see it, but it stayed forever in the distance. My decisions were based on the pleasure-discomfort axis. Actions were determined by the degree of pleasure I would perceive or the amount of discomfort I could circumvent. When my first love, Veronica, unceremoniously dumped me, I was devastated. I attributed her leaving me to her absence of values. I thought she had rejected me because she preferred the-lad-with-the-dad-who-owned-a-Ferrari. But she had left me for other reasons: my extreme personality, the way in which I let my insecurity fuel my actions. Her values were fine. I was the one who didn't know what I truly valued. This energy, lying in wait, creates the potential for traumatic symptoms as in the case of Sothy (below), who attended one of my schools. The following scenario gives a clear illustration of the delicate thread by which a student with Post-Traumatic Stress is left hanging. UNTANGLING PAST TRAUMA RESPONSES FROM PRESENT TRIGGERS: SOTHY'S STORY On an excessively windy day, Sothy, a high school freshman, was sent to my school psychologist's office for counseling because he wasn't paying attention in class and appeared very agitated. During the session, he reported that he was struggling with repeated flashbacks of being attacked that caused him unbearable anxiety. He was unaware of why he was so distracted and tense, although he did say that he felt like hurting someone but knew that would be a big mistake. After he drew a picture of his anger, I had Sothy take some time to look at the image he had drawn. As he examined the details, he noticed he had drawn several branches that had broken off in the wind and been blown to the ground outside his classroom window. He also told me that his science teacher for that period of the day always had a mean look. After telling me about his fear, Sothy remembered that the twigs scattered on the ground reminded him of the sticks he had been repeatedly beaten with (over a four-year period) by a caregiver who lived with and tutored him while his mother, a refugee from the Cambodian killing fields, was struggling with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD). Anything that will take you away from feeling completely comfortable, and make yourself try something new;