A Heartfelt Rendition: Dissolving Emotional Pain

People should be moving, having as many experiences of love as possible. I don't have any ideal. Then move from the heart to the being. You can alter your present to change your future. Everything is there—just the labels change, and that creates a sort of insane humanity. You may need to replay parts of your script from time to time and pay careful attention to what you say and do in order to break old patterns and replace them with your new ones. He has forgotten to close his shop and he has forgotten about you. That is, it's important to have connections in all of the concentric circles, even if you only have one or two solid entries in each circle. Don't make a rule that every Sunday you have to fast. From that small thread, you can reach to the very goal. Put your total energy into loving and you will be surprised, you will be taken aback. Though he was an excellent artist and photographer, he was afraid to enter competitions or take his work around to the galleries because he couldn't face the prospect of being turned down. For the visualization to be most effective make the image and experience as vivid and intense as possible so that it feels very real. It helps explain why so many of us feel stuck, detached, or lost. They cannot. You would think that you would have come out of your sadness full of energy, but no. Connection comes from allowing and then actively wielding vulnerability. A joyous face, a face full of smiles, radiant, may be worth having. They are pulled together. The movement is there but the mover is no more there. So everybody gathered his own sufferings into bags, and they reached the temple, and they were all looking very happy. And he will not eat unless the desire to eat arises again. If I feel myself resisting and holding back, I will tell myself No. I have heard a beautiful story: In the days when Khrushchev was important in the Soviet Union, he often admitted that Stalin treated him occasionally like a court jester or clown and ordered him, Dance the gopak. One is becoming aware while the act is happening. People started laughing. Instead of taking no for an answer, she focused on what she wanted. And you will be able to feel new experiences, which are not available even to the heart. The man of understanding, meditation, is not a man of control—just the opposite. Any behavior that kept us alive—fed and housed—would be repeated and favored by the homeostatic impulse, all without our actively making a choice in the matter. Thus, by using this technique you change your own feelings about yourself, the way you act, and the way others act toward you. Here in America, we are also infected by the ideal of rugged individualism. Everywhere you are being told what to do and what not to do. They can also help connect me with other people. It is your material, physical layer. Just bring light in. Thirty percent of Americans have used them. We go on living only because we are cowards; otherwise we have destroyed all the reasons to live. You have to watch your life moment to moment, and drop all that seems to be momentary, fragmentary. By love people mean a certain kind of monopoly, some possessiveness, without understanding a simple fact of life: that the moment you possess a living being you have killed that person. You can't muster up the energy to go to the gym, and you feel compelled to send a certain ex a quick text message to check in. You have to discover it, and the first step toward discovery is to accept yourself, rejoice in being yourself. This begins a lifelong practice of believing that receiving love is conditional on one's outward appearance. Direct statements don't necessarily have to be made to the child, because, as we know, a child is a sponge who notices when one's core beliefs are overly image focused. Because you live comfortably, you live in a beautiful house, you move in a beautiful car, you live like a king. Do this a few more times and tell yourself that in the future any time you experience anything negative you will pull the trigger to make yourself aware, so you can step outside that feeling and stop it. Or you can do even more, as will be discussed in later chapters. A man goes on accumulating, and then one day he explodes—wholesale! Women go mad retail—and that is a wiser way, to be finished with it every day. In the beginning, ask yourself, What can I do to get a just punishment or revenge for ________? In his tensions, in his anxieties, his problems, man loses himself in the crowd and becomes someone else. And they affect each other; they run parallel. Find ways to be near people with whom you have mutual interests. The body must also devote excessive energy to suppressing the inner chaos of trauma, or the activated fight-or-flight response, which further pushes us into a state of dysregulation. It is the layer representing your emotions and contains your feelings. Remember that there is no death, that the soul is immortal. By focusing on what to do to make I can happen, not on whether I could, and by acting the role I wanted to play, I became what I wanted to be. The logic is the male in you, and the heart is the female in you. When he began swimming in the lake outside of the swimming class he felt like he could almost go automatically because he had practiced so many times in his mind. Then, in this very relaxed, comfortable state imagine you are going to be taking a truth test where you want to see your real feelings. You had never known it was possible to be this way. He was always determined to do everything he could to close whatever deal he was working on at the time. If science is not going to join hands with it, then yoga is asking too much. If you have the idea to be a brave man then it looks ugly to be a coward. You are murdering, you are raping, you are doing something ugly—but in fact you are not doing it. If you are working for a company, your goal might be to complete a series of tasks effectively so you are in line for a promotion. As you do, repeat the phrase not sure or maybe to yourself. Nature gives sleep to the beggars who have been working the whole day, moving from one place to another in the hot summer, begging. Loneliness is bad for me. I am not here to teach you the ways of the heart—yes, I use them, but only as a device to bring you out of your mind. What has happened to it? For example, if your goal is to perform well at work, see the job fully completed and done perfectly. But—perhaps counterintuitively—it's also essential to effective relationships with other people. In the beginning you will be very sad, looking at things inside you. What else do you see?Now go on, and as you walk uphill, note that the trees give way to bushes. In fact, if you allow yourself to tremble, instead of pain you will find a great upsurge of energy arising in you. You will be losing only your poverty, your misery. They want to go out into the world. When we feel safe, it is reflected in our eyes, our voice, and our body language. Then turn off the screen in your mind and leave your workshop. They can be adapted to the skill you want to acquire or improve on since the particular skills desired and current level of training will vary for each person. Ask for help in deciding among the alternatives. At least you are familiar with your own sufferings, and you have become accustomed to them. The society has divided you into a split person, it has made you schizophrenic and it has confused you. This is the greatest medicine—the medicine of no birth, no death. Sit on a large rock and look around you. Either help me find a way out of it, or I am going to kill myself. You can take that energy and use it. The following technique is designed to help you consider what you feel needs changing and set priorities for what you want to change. The head will go round and round thinking, brooding, philosophizing; it knows only words, logic, argument. Buddhism spread all over Asia and it turned the whole of Asia pale. Go up to that person and say something in a friendly, chatty way, certain they will respond in kind. Would you please comment? Then where is the mother? The difference here is that you are training your physical body rather than your mind to respond with cues. And when you feel that the breathing has become very shallow and the mouth is open and your jaw is relaxed, your whole body will feel very relaxed. You just have to release the devils you have been forcing into unconsciousness. We stored these beliefs as well as countless other messages in our subconscious. You will be reinforcing the alertness and allowing it more and more. Again, there is help, and there is hope. That would be more authentic, more essential; but they are called the head.