Ball of Confusion (That's What the World is Today)

My mother's schooling began in a log-construction one-room schoolhouse in Saskatchewan, where her family had emigrated from Hungary. The Canadian province of Saskatchewan in 1926 had the technology of Kansas in 1880 or even earlier. My mother has a very severe outlook on life. Her family arrived in Saskatchewan when she was four years old. The whole modus behind their immigration was a complete travesty. In Europe, the newspapers advertised free land in the new world. In war-torn central Europe, this was a beacon of promise. When they arrived, their promised allotment of land had no lumber or electricity, but they had a small lake on their boundary, with fresh water and ducks. Agree to help and do a bad job because you don't want to do Often be late, let others wait for you (I hate this) Disguise and insult this color looks good to you or pretty shoes. Dragging the heels, unnecessarily difficult Forget to do something on purpose Pretend they don't understand Procrastination Deliberately avoid email/phone/message Refuse to promise anything or give a direct answer Say one thing/do another (send mixed messages) As Chicana writer and queer theorist Gloria E. Anzaldua wrote:

We are taught that the body is an ignorant animal intelligence dwells only in the head. But the body is smart. It does not discern between external stimuli and stimuli from the imagination. It reacts equally viscerally to events from the imagination as it does to real events (1987, p. This process--of the body responding to threats ensnared in the mind--can make it hard for survivors to trust what they're feeling inside. Lying awake in bed at night, she'd often have the feeling that something terrible was about to take place. For no apparent reason, her heart would be racing, her stomach would be clenched, and the back of her neck would tingle--all cues to her that suggested threat was impending. Sometimes she'd walk around her apartment and consciously check to make sure she was alone, but it never seemed to soothe her. Quite often we limit ourselves in what we are, and instead try to achieve what we want to be. This wanting tends to come from an external source, stimulated as a desire within us by advertising, family, or society. A huge problem lies in wanting things, and reaching a goal by wanting requires a great deal of energy. Every goal that I define for myself signals to my character that I must be something or achieve something. But in that moment, I lack the very thing that I'd like to achieve or which I long for. As a result, I focus on this insufficiency and need an enormous amount of energy to contain it. This `lack mindset,' in combination with techniques that work on wanting, such as setting and achieving goals, causes a significant loss of energy. And in addition, someone who has set a goal has already fundamentally limited themselves! In thermodynamics, the universal law of the conservation of energy states: `In a closed system the sum of all energy is constant; The German physicist Hermann von Helmholtz (1821-1894) expressed it in even more detail: `Energy can be neither generated nor destroyed. Case in point: Many years ago, I went to a therapist to discuss my back and neck and face pain. She told me to push my anxieties into a big rubber ball, which she lackadaisically rolled over to me.

As I stared at her and the ball, I thought, nope-siree, this is gonna be a no-go. That kind of thing wasn't for me. The next therapist, on the other hand, listened to my same litany of issues: physical, unrelenting pain and the anxiety it caused, and how one made the other worse, my fear at having to live the rest of my life in pain added to the anxiety, and then the anxiety added to the pain, and so on, and it was getting to a big messy crescendo, especially difficult when I first woke up in the morning, and she said, Oh, yes, and you know about cortisol, and that the body's peak cortisol production occurs in the early morning? How it's released then to help you face anticipated stress? Um, no, I did not. And that was the beginning of my kind of therapy; It was the first step in climbing out of a deep dark hole of the shooting, tingling, stabbing, aching, crushing world of pain. I like science. When will I be able to drive again? For many people independence hinges upon their ability to operate a motor vehicle. Transportation is a monumental task after stroke. Stroke survivors don't want to be a burden on others for this time-consuming job, especially if they were able to drive before having a stroke. Why is it so difficult after a stroke? A simple answer is that stroke affects the brain. Driving is a serious task after a stroke, and the most dangerous one you may encounter during recovery. A driver's license is used for identification purposes too. If you drive post-stroke without prior approval of your physician or attending an assessment program, you may be placing yourself and others at risk as well as jeopardizing the ability of your car insurance to cover damages should there be an accident. A driving assessment program includes testing for comprehension, dexterity, visual field difficulties, thinking, memory, and judgment as well as other mandatory driving abilities. This drop in pressure not only sucks in air, it also sucks in blood from the heart. The change in the amount of blood in the heart actually slows it down a little: since the heart takes longer to fill, it takes longer to beat.

When you breathe out, the reverse happens. The pressure in the chest goes up to expel your breath, blood is forced out of the lungs into the heart and the heart fills more quickly, resulting in the heart beating faster. In energising the blood with oxygen, the lungs also quantitatively change the nature of the blood. Not only do they transfer carbolic acid for oxygen, but this process also acts to clean up the blood. Acidic blood damages the structure of the red cells, the acid combines with proteins and the cell walls and deforms them. This destruction makes the cells less flexible, and flexibility is one of the most important aspects of red cells. In extremis this acid causes the proteins that form enzymes to unravel and stop working. This aspect of cleaning the blood links the Lung with its paired TaiYin organ - the Spleen. She nods, encouragingly, like she's giving me a push-start. Michael was the son of a farmhand. He was an adolescent--to me as a 3 or 4-year-old, he was a giant, but he was probably only 14. Part of my denial was because I didn't know that children abuse children, but they do. My mind overlaid the template of the stereotypical abuser--dirty man in a mac--on everything that happened to me. And because it was a child, or a woman, or groups of respectable people with barely a mac in sight, I rejected what happened to me as abuse. Or at least, as `proper abuse'. It can't have happened if it didn't fit the mould. Oh, how I wish. And then it comes. The behaviors, feelings, and thoughts of people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) generally show up in extreme forms -- in other words, not many aspects of the disorder take the middle road. Professionals place part of the blame for the turbulent nature of the lives of people with BPD on what they call schemas, or powerful beliefs that people hold about themselves and the world around them.

Basically, schemas influence the way people interpret reality and dictate the way they feel. In this article, we elaborate on the nature of schemas and note that people experience a variety of them throughout the course of their lives. We explain where schemas come from. We tackle the difference between healthy, middle ground schemas and unhealthy, disruptive, extreme schemas. Finally, we explore the nature of the problematic schemas that people with BPD commonly experience. Understanding How You See the World Schemas dictate how you think and feel about the world around you, as well as how you experience it. Schemas are like pairs of glasses that you use to improve your vision. My mother's beginnings were harsh, and her public schooling was harsh, as well. As of this writing, she is still alive and here with me in Palm Bay, Florida. My dad's family came from Arad, in Romania. He emigrated in 1929. He didn't fit in at school very well, as they put him in the third grade or so to learn English. His schooling was broken up periodically from the violence and changes due to the Great War and subsequent violence after the war. He was shy and awkward then, and this was a persistent trait throughout his life. He had abdicated direct responsibility of the kids to my mother, and for years, he remained something of an enigma to me. I dreamed about what I wanted to do with him, like go to the north pole or visit ancient ruins, like what I read about in the encyclopedias. When my father was born in 1914, the region was a vast county of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. Shaking head Mute handling