It Goes Without Saying

Irrelevant. But she presses the point. What did you do that led to you being abused? She's looking at me with an intensity that says, `This is what we're talking about. This is what we're working on today. We're going to sort this. It's not coercive, but it is strict. We've talked in other sessions about how she needs to balance pushing me to overcome trauma's natural avoidance, with not pushing me beyond my autonomy. Expect discounts or special financial considerations Expect special help from their providers Ask inappropriately personal questions Demand certain medications they think they need When professionals have a number of people with BPD in their caseloads, they can easily feel overwhelmed by the broad range of demands that their clients and patients make. People in the helping professions sometimes struggle to remain caring and empathetic without losing their professional objectivity. See article 25 for information about how professionals can clarify their own boundaries and maintain their sanity when working through these issues with patients who have BPD. Riding roughshod over kids Parents with BPD cross boundaries with their kids in all sorts of ways. Sometimes they worry that their children will stop loving them so they try to become their kids' best friends instead of being the guides or leaders that parents need to be. I remember spending very long hours by myself at the motel, but I had some happy times. I loved staring at leaves and colorful items, like the rosette stained-glass window on the stairs landing.

Everything looked different through the colored filters of the stained glass. SCHOOL YEARS I was not understood to be mentally different by my family, because my poor hapless parents had no idea. They were very simple, shy, and awkward immigrant Hungarians. I ate regularly, and I was potty trained by three or four years old. Having anyone touch me or assist me on the wooden potty chair made me hostile, and I screamed. I don't think I underwent evaluation by a doctor until I was in kindergarten. If I wandered off for a few hours, nobody noticed, because eventually I came home to eat. Some people are masters of emotional manipulation and will not hesitate to play with their emotions to get what they want. They will tell you they love you. Otherwise, they will tell you that they hate you. Otherwise, they will try to make you angry, sad, or jealous; Everything they need to get everything they want. Advertisers, especially the media, are the ultimate masters of emotional manipulation. They know that if they can make you feel something, they will make you make a difference. Therefore, advertisers and media will not waste time trying to persuade you logically, but manipulate your emotions by showing you images of cute babies and puppies, abused animals, and starving children. Everything you need to produce the desired result. It is a despicable trick, but it works and works! At the end of the day, the teacher praised her for her concentration, suggesting she come back the next month. Gina left feeling proud, accomplished, and hopeful that she was taking some practical steps toward her healing.

That night, however, Gina feared she'd dissociated on retreat. She felt spacey and distant, and could hardly feel the warm water on her skin while taking a shower before bed. In the days afterward, she'd felt foggy and disoriented, and had trouble stringing sentences together. She also loved mindfulness, and wanted to learn how to practice in a way that assisted with her recovery. When she reached out to me, she was determined to learn how to practice in a way that worked for her. THE BODY AND TRAUMA Our bodies are staggeringly compact and complex systems. Our small intestine is about 3. As an example, a businesswoman consulted me because she wanted to move in with her life partner. Without intending to be disrespectful, I made her understand that in my mind's eye, I saw a woman at her side, not a man; Another client asked me if he should cancel a business order for almost 5 million euros. He had concerns about the customer in question, who was very different from himself, but at the same time he was afraid of missing out on a hefty profit and being unable to reward his employees. My prediction was that there would definitely be another, far better, opportunity and the company would experience a change in strategy as a result. So my client canceled his order in a very honest letter, and within a week he'd gained a new customer. His company created a very special portfolio with the new customer that perfectly matched its structures and skills, and today it's recommended for these kinds of specialized tasks. The more I was lucky enough to guide people and teach them how to use energy, the clearer it became to me that everyone works in the same way. It's always about the level of energy: When it's high, people are healthy; So I devoted myself intensively to the testing and development of techniques with which each individual can raise his or her energy level and thereby regenerate the body. Her black-tipped tail wagged in delight. The other retreat participants, of course, looked like they were happily noticing their thoughts float by like clouds, and bringing themselves back to their breath, thus calming the stormy winds of the mind, and fostering loving-kindness, creating a better world.

They sat around me in a circle, peacefully breathing their way to wisdom, compassion, and goodness. Or so it seemed. I had had enough of my mind and breath, and the deer outside was a necessary distraction. I was miserable. I shifted my ass around on my pillow and scratched my head. I wondered again why I was there, why unlucky me was stuck with this lousy pain, and why I was at a retreat about it. Was it because meditation was a cultural zeitgeist and heck, a nice chance to get away from my regular life? Or to cope with the ever-increasing pain of this neurological condition I'd been stuck with, and the suckyness of that? Adaptive Golf This is a game that has handicap and stroke as part of its terminology. Clubs, as well as nonswing clubs, balls, bionic gloves, and other adaptive equipment are available through your computer or smartphone worldwide web online information. Golf courses that assist adaptive golfers and offer instructors to help you get back in the swing again are available at many golf facilities. You may discover your own adaptations. Reducing expectations assists self-esteem as we work towards new techniques and goals. If unavailable, use a regular golf cart but have your golfing partner drive. Go along for the ride. Your golf game may begin with a higher score, but play for technique at first. Adaptive Fishing Sometimes in life things have to be accepted as just-so without `proof'. What proof there is exists in the innate truth of the assertion.

Life is important, despite science telling us that we are just some organic blips on a planet with a timescale that makes us barely a nanosecond in its day. Music is beautiful despite it just being a mathematical representation of acoustic waves. Art means something even though unfeeling machines can create it. Like the trees and their relationship with sunshine, the lungs enable our connection to the ephemeral higher aspects of existence, our God-like quality, despite no objective proof that I am able to offer up. Of course there is `proof', but it is subjective proof. Take a few lessons in meditation and notice how the calming of breath takes you to a place that almost exists beyond your body. Conversely, hyperventilate for a while and notice how it leaves you feeling trapped and panicky. These feelings are beyond physics; Somehow, mostly, I experience her occasional forcefulness as the passion of empathy, driving me to heal, rather than the coercion of abuse. But it's a fine balance. I don't envy her responsibility. But all the same, right now I want to avoid, and I want to run away. My self-blame sits like a plug in a hole, and I have no idea what will come gushing out if I dislodge it. And tell me what you did in the lead-up to those incidents that caused them to happen. I shift myself into gear. This must be important. There's a certainty about her, a confidence, that is leveraging against my own fear. Maybe I can trust her. They often become overly involved in their kids' lives and interfere with normal development by Doing their kids' homework