Sunday, 1 November 2020

Behavioral activation

We hear a great deal today about physical intimacy, often referring to nothing more than the physical act of two bodies copulating. However, the basis for true physical intimacy actually results from emotional intimacy. Physical intimacy involves the marriage of emotions as well as bodies. Emotions give color to life. Emotional intimacy may elude many couples because one or both partners make no conscious effort to develop intimacy by lowering barriers and walls. Judson Swihart writes of the tragedy of a marriage lacking emotional intimacy: Some people are like medieval castles. Their high walls keep them safe from being hurt. Taking an evolutionary perspective, some psychologists have argued that a preference for familiar others is probably something adaptive that has been selected for (eg, Park et al. Our ancestors, living in small groups, were probably safer if they stayed close to their own. If they ventured away from their own group and encountered other groups, they may have experienced peril, including exposure to germs. In fact, when thoughts of disease are made salient, people become particularly negative toward ethnically different others (Faulkner et al. Allport noted that because of common backgrounds, experiences, and knowledge, it's also just easier to know what to say and how to behave around those who are members of the ingroup. In addition to this familiarity-based preference for the ingroup over outgroups, most of us like ourselves and demonstrate a self-serving bias, as you'll recall from our coverage of self-esteem (article 6). So if I am great, then my group must be great also. Surely groups I am not a member of can't be as great as those to which I belong! Indeed, research has shown that ingroup pronouns such as us are associated automatically with positive feelings and that outgroup pronouns such as them are associated automatically with negative ones (Perdue et al. So pride in one's own group and preference for one's own group over others may be a natural extension of self-serving bias. Release blockades, say goodbye to your fears, open your eyes to recognize manipulation, try to understand people, analyze ways of thinking and behavior and find the right path for yourself into a happy, content life. If you want to do this, there are no more excuses.

Because with positive psychology, you manage to find the obstacles that limit you. Every person is individual, and everyone must decide for themselves where their ship will go but with the right knowledge of different influences, you can weigh up whether you dare to tread new paths and think outside the box. Recognizing and releasing blockages Mental blockages are insidious little beasts that hide in the subconscious. Although you notice that something is there that is slowing you down, you cannot recognize where this feeling comes from and why it is there. There is no way to make these insidious things visible, neither with an ultrasound nor with a TC or an X-ray machine. This is why it is so difficult for medicine and science to make mental blockages visible and thus tangible. To handle and solve something intangible is a big task. They protect themselves emotionally by permitting no exchange of feelings with others. No one can enter. They are secure from attack. However, inspection of the occupant finds him or her lonely, rattling around his castle alone. The castle dweller is a self-made prisoner. He or she needs to feel loved by someone, but the walls are so high that it is difficult to reach out or for anyone else to reach in. Even if barriers are not an issue, a man's and a woman's emotions may be at different levels and intensities. A woman's priority may be emotional intimacy, whereas a man's priority may be physical intimacy. When a couple learns to share the emotional level and can understand and experience each other's feelings, they are well on their way to achieving true intimacy. By the way, do you really understand what intimacy means? This ingroup bias can affect even political beliefs (Kosloff, Greenberg, Dechesne, et al. In the lead-up to the 2008 U.

Similarly, when undecided young voters were reminded of their age, they were more likely to believe negative reports about the 65-year-old Republican candidate at the time, John McCain. Social identity theory (see article 9) (Tajfel & Turner, 1986) looks at the relationship between self-esteem and groups the other way around, reversing the causal direction. Recall that this theory proposes that a considerable portion of our self-esteem actually derives from our group memberships. Not only is my group great because I'm in it, but I am great because I am in this group! So I gain self-esteem by thinking highly of my own group and less highly of outgroups. And sure enough, wherever you travel, you meet people who are proud of their own cultures and ethnicities and think more highly of them than they do of other cultures and ethnicities. During the World Cup and the Olympics, we can see the basic truth that social identity theory captures: People derive self-worth from their ingroup identifications. During his bid to become president of the United States in 2016, Donald Trump appealed to people's desire to be part of a positive group identity with his Make America Great Again slogan. The small ghosts make life unnecessarily difficult, cost a lot of strength and energy and cause stress. These factors hinder you in strengthening your self-confidence, gaining self-confidence, shaping your own life and making your person the priority. But there is a way to find and dissolve blockages. This does not work like physical pain, where there are special drugs and painkillers. In order not to feel mental pain, people are real regressionists. They paint even the worst fears with bright colors so that they don't have to look them in the malicious, sparkling eyes. But this is where the problems begin, which develop into a big monster, a mental blockade. But what are mental blockages? These are programs that run in your subconscious and hinder you in your thinking and acting. They arise in exceptional psychological situations that do not fit into the previous process. The word intimacy is derived from the Latin word intimus, which means inmost. Intimacy suggests a very strong personal relationship, a special emotional closeness that includes understanding and being understood by someone who is very special.

Intimacy has also been defined as an affectionate bond, the strands of which are composed of mutual caring, responsibility, trust, open communication of feelings and sensations, as well as the non-defended interchange of information about significant emotional events. When a couple learns to share the emotional level and can understand and experience each other's feelings, they are well on their way to achieving true intimacy. Intimacy requires vulnerability, but it also requires security. Openness can be scary, but the acceptance each partner offers in the midst of vulnerability provides a wonderful sense of security. Intimate couples can feel safe--fully exposed perhaps, yet fully accepted. It is often assumed that intimacy automatically occurs between married partners. But I've seen far too many strangers get married. I've talked to many husbands and wives who feel isolated from each other and lonely, even after many years of marriage. A large body of experimental research also supports the existence of ingroup bias and the validity of social identity theory. One important line of inquiry has examined whether arbitrarily formed groups immediately exhibit ingroup bias. This idea was anticipated in Jonathan Swift's (1726/2001) classic satire Gulliver's Travels, which describes wars breaking out between those who believe eggs should be cracked at the big end and those who believe they should be cracked at the small end. Empirical evidence of such arbitrary forms of prejudice was found in a seminal study by Henri Tajfel. In this study, British high school students viewed a series of dots on a screen and were asked to estimate how many there were (Tajfel et al. The researchers told one random set of students that they were overestimators and the other set that they were underestimators. Even in such minimal groups, researchers found bias in favor of distributing more resources to members of one's own group than to the outgroup, whether or not these groups had a history of contact with one another (Tajfel & Turner, 1986). On which side would you crack the egg? Hundreds of years ago Jonathan Swift anticipated the finding that minimal differences can lead to ingroup bias. In Gulliver's Travels he describes wars breaking out between those who believe eggs should be cracked at the big end and those who believe they should be cracked at the small end. They cannot be processed so easily because there is too much mental pain. The subconsciousness creates behavior patterns to suppress this pain and to cope with it.

You should defend yourself against this by confronting this emotional pain. Grab the burdensome subject by the hair and try with all your strength to let go and dissolve the blockages. Because these malicious specters have a firm grip on you and prevent you from living a happy, fulfilled life. Mental blockades Perhaps painful experiences in your childhood have led you to have mental blockages which as a teenager presented themselves as complexes, depression, low self-esteem and self-confidence. To release emotional blockages, you have to deal with the topic letting go. Set everything to restart with release There are a variety of methods that you can use to learn to let go to release mental blockages. I've heard statements like: We share the same house, the same table and the same bed, but we might as well be strangers; We've lived together for 23 years and yet I don't know my spouse any better now than when we married; What really hurts is that we can spend a weekend together and I still feel lonely. I think I married someone who would have preferred being a hermit in some ways. Intimacy is not automatic. Communication is the vehicle for creating and maintaining intimacy, and it is the means by which we know another person. Levels of Communication Take a moment to evaluate the intimacy in your marriage relationship. Explore how you deal with intimacy as a couple by circling your responses to the following statements. Work through the exercise separately, and then explain your responses to each other. Theory and research also suggest that in most cases the liking for the ingroup is stronger and more fundamental than the dislike of the outgroup (eg, Allport, 1954; Brewer, 1979).

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