Building your resilience

So, in other words, not only does the thyroid gland look like a bonsai lung, it behaves like one too, governing how quickly the little cells `breathe'. Thyroid hormones not only behave like the lung does, they are also vitally important in making sure the lung develops fully. If you look at the description of the Lung channel (for instance, in Peter Deadman's article4) it shows a channel that goes from Lung to Adam's apple, and then travels down underneath the clavicle to the armpit (specifically the gap between the clavicular and sternal head of the pectoral muscle). Here it emerges at Zhong Fu (The Palace of Gifts) LU-1. What is incredible is that 2000-year-old texts were perfectly describing fascial planes that we are only really understanding with cutting edge robotic surgeons! The Lung Qi has to go up, because the lung only has one connection to the rest of the body and that is at the voice box. That is why the lung will carry on growing on its own - because its Qi connects at the voice box. I miss not having a job where I have responsibilities and can help others. I took pride in being successful and earning a paycheck. I always performed to the best of my abilities, no matter the tests in front of me. There are many obstacles on the road of life, no one has a smooth path. Having Asperger's made my route more challenging and difficult. Even though I have had an uphill climb and jagged rocks along the way, I am successful in many areas. Those of us with Asperger's have to struggle harder to reach our goals, but with perseverance, they can be reached. I always found opportunities for work by locating the back door. I never landed a single job by filling out a job application or doing a formal interview. I got my freelance business started by showing potential clients a portfolio of my work. One way to start understanding your impact on other people is to start looking at people's faces. Practice noticing different expressions. See whether or not you can figure out the difference in facial expressions when people are tired, bored, irritated, enthusiastic, sad, neutral, happy, and truly angry.

Also pay attention to other people's voice tones and gestures. Begin this practice with people who are talking to other people, and then apply your skills to people who are talking to you. Although realizing your impact on other people is an important step in achieving your overall goal of better understanding other people, you also need to work on reducing defensiveness. If you're not sure what defensiveness means, read the next section. Decreasing Defensiveness Defensiveness refers to the habit of warding off perceived attacks, assaults, and criticisms with retaliatory statements. We aren't talking about physical attacks here. What is your objective here? To vent your rage? Your boss's rage? Or is it to correct a problem? If, on sober reflection, you decide in favor of the latter, try this approach:* Rather than get angry, express disappointment. You want to send a message that you expected better things from such a fine vendor. Sticking with this strategy may not be easy. At the very least, it probably does not come naturally. After all, the emotion that motivates a complaint is not disappointment, but anger--or at least, irritation. Giving vent to anger may make you feel better for a while, but then what are you left with? I think it's lightable. I don't think the furnace is dead. The furnace can be lit.

If you don't light the furnace, then it's dead. Do you want to light this light in you? I want to want to light this light. That won't be enough. I have to light the pilot light. Wanting to want won't be enough, I insisted. The furnace may not run at full capacity because it's an old furnace, but it may be semifunctional. The Qi flows up from leaves to twigs, twigs to branches, branches to trunk. At the trunk (windpipe) it meets the voice box and here finally it is released. It follows the principles of Qi physics and seeks the external, that is, the fingers. It also flows to the nose, which is why the Lung channel can be used for nosebleeds. Why does it not flow down at this point to the abdomen? This is basic Qi physics (explored in Part I). Lung Qi will interact with its paired channel - the Spleen - but it will flow up as this is under pressure. This is no different to a mountain spring where natural laws suggest that the water should continue down, yet the pressure in the system means instead that it bubbles up. Emergency case reports The connection with the lung and nose is intuitively obvious and also anatomically real. Another thing I learned very early is that certain people could open the door to opportunity. Often, I found these people in places where I least expected them. In the HBO movie made about my life, called Temple Grandin, a scene shows me meeting a lady who was the wife of the plant manager.

In the movie, this enabled me to get into the meat plant, where I undertook my first big project. The reality of it happened in a similar way. I was at an Arizona cattle reception, wearing a Western shirt I had hand embroidered. A woman came up to me and said she liked my embroidery. We got to talking, and I expressed interest in getting into the Swift meat plant. That was the connection that got me in. At the reception that night, I was wearing my portfolio and didn't even realize it. Rather, we're talking about the times when you perceive other people as being critical of you. People with BPD often react to these real or imagined assaults by counterattacking, which can include blaming others or turning up the heat on the conversation by lacing your words with sarcasm or hostility. Remember that anybody who's feeling intense anger is far less able to think or perceive interactions accurately than someone who's feeling calm and relaxed. The responses of people who are intensely angry are inappropriate 99. When you're mad, your thinking skills just aren't at full capacity. The following three strategies can help you combat defensiveness. Taking the I out of interactions Defensive people focus their attention on themselves. They don't necessarily believe they're better or more important than others, but they do believe, in a sense, that the world revolves around them. In other words, they're constantly in the spotlight -- but that spotlight can shine much too brightly. The original problem--and an alienated and resentful vendor, who may no longer be particularly inclined to remedy the problem. Complaining effectively is easier if you take these steps: STEP 1: Clearly state the problem.

Focus on facts. Make no accusations. Don't guess at motives or motivations. Just enumerate such details as the duration or frequency of the problem or error, as well as the material (not emotional) effect of the problem or error. TIP: Whenever possible, quantify the consequences of the problem: Late shipments this month have cost us upwards of $3,300. STEP 2: Either propose a solution or ask for one. STEP 3: Conclude by converting I and you into we. Even an old furnace can heat up the house. It's funny but your bleak picture made me want to fight back. Gathering himself, he said, I do have some control. I can't just go through life with my head down and stay in prison. He sobbed again, stopped, and then shifted. I think you were playing devil's advocate. I was simply saying the truth, and the truth of what you are doing is bleak. It's hard to be positive when you've been negative your whole life. And we are noticing it's hard to be positive about yourself. Being negative about yourself has been a slow form of suicide, killing yourself off piece by piece. The nose is part of the long tube that is the gut, and the fascia that encases it extends downwards into the voice box. This connection between lung and nose means that the Lung channel can be used for nosebleeds and I have used this a number of times, once at my house when a neighbour was insistent that she was not going to have `that barbaric treatment' of having her nose packed, and many times in the Emergency Department. On numerous occasions the results were dramatic - it was like turning a tap off.