Chilling Your Hot Emotions

I look forward to women telling me they no longer plan events around disabling PMS, and the whole month is theirs to use as they wish! Easing PMS. Locate LIV-3 (Great Pouring), which is above the webbing between the big toe and the second toe. IN THIS article Grieving for your lost childhood Setting boundaries for a parent with BPD Getting support from others Raising healthy children takes sacrifice, energy, and commitment. Parents with BPD typically lack the resources they need to provide a healthy environment for their kids. This lack of resources doesn't mean they can't be wonderful parents -- sometimes. But all too often they become overwhelmed by their own emotional issues and either neglect, or in the worst cases, abuse their kids. If your parent has BPD, you probably have more than your share of difficult memories. You may recall times when you felt abandoned or when you had to take on excessive responsibilities. In my mind's eye, I see the suffering from my childhood trauma as an incandescent rage, an uncontrolled fire burning in an office block. If I go near it, I will die. If I open a door, it will belch out at me, and reduce me to ash. That's my mental picture. And I realise, first and foremost, that the image I have of it in my mind is adding to the problem. I see it as huge, and myself as incapable. That's the first thing I could change: I could repaint the picture.

She tilts her head and furrows a questioning look towards me. But they were hurt. They were traumatised. Using the thumb, press firmly into the sorest spot for one or two minutes. Breathe deeply, repeating two to four times per session, one to two sessions a day. Painful Periods: Dissing Dysmenorrhea Primary dysmenorrhea, or painful menstrual periods, results from uterine muscle contractions as tissue passes through a narrow opening in the cervix. Secondary dysmenorrhea is associated with conditions such as endometriosis that may produce lesions that affect the reproductive cycle (see article 18, Female Frustrations). Pain can be experienced before, during, or after menstruation. Conventional medicine lists a tipped uterus, lack of exercise, and anxiety as contributing factors in dysmenorrhea. Oriental Medicine adds overwork, stress, chronic illness, excessive sexual activity, and improper recovery from childbirth as additional situations that contribute to monthly discomfort. Conventional medical treatments include applying local heat to the abdomen, drug therapy for pain, and in the case of secondary dysmenorrhea, correction of underlying abnormalities through surgery. Menstrual is derived from the Latin word menstrualis, meaning month. You may also remember exciting adventures or periods of time when your parents placed you on a pedestal. A parent with BPD can alternate from being better than the best of parents to the worst of the worst -- having a parent with BPD can be quite a ride. We don't recommend attempting to diagnose any family member with BPD or any other emotional disorder. Although we give you information about BPD symptoms in article 3, matching your parent's behaviors to these symptoms doesn't qualify as a diagnosis. Even describing your parent to a professional can't result in a formal diagnosis because professionals can't diagnose someone without seeing him. Nevertheless, this article can be useful for adult children who are aware that their parents demonstrate BPD-like features or for those who know their parents have been diagnosed by a professional. After you grow up, you must deal with your childhood memories as well as any ongoing issues with your parents.

In this article, we show you how to accept what happened and how to move forward from the past when one of your parents has or had BPD. We describe how to understand a parent who has BPD and how to set realistic expectations for your relationship with that parent. We also give you ideas on how to set boundaries so that you can live a life without chaos. They were abused. I don't really know what I mean by this. It's more a stirring on the inside of me than a fully-formed thought. Compassion is the ultimate validation of your trauma because the hurt from the wrongness of it is being felt. Your view of `compassion' seems to be from your mother's, which wasn't compassion. It was dismissive. It was controlling. It wanted to shut you up as quickly as possible so that it wouldn't bother her. I'm alert with the newness of this. I urge her on with my eyes. Menses is based on the Latin word mensis, derived from the Greek word for month. These words were later used to describe the monthly flow of blood from the uterus. Oriental Medicine Helps the Flow Go For dysmenorrhea, as for all conditions, your unique individual characteristics and overall health determine the appropriate Oriental Medical diagnosis and treatment plan. I tend to see a great deal of women with conditions traditionally referred to as stagnation of cold in the lower abdomen. Their symptoms usually include pain that is present before or after the period in the center of the lower abdomen. The pain gets better with heat and gets worse from cold.

Women with this type of condition tend to feel cold all over, have a sore lower back, and produce very little menstrual blood with dark clots. A research article published in the January 1987 issue of Obstetrics and Gynecology revealed that acupuncture can help alleviate primary dysmenorrhea. Ninety percent of the women who underwent regular acupuncture treatments designed to treat their painful periods showed improvement during this one-year study, while also being able to reduce their pain medications by 41 percent. We offer some advice on obtaining support that may help you get to a better place. Finally, we give you some tips on how to increase your own emotional resilience. In this article, we use parent rather than parents because being raised by one parent with BPD is far more common than being raised by two. Obviously, exceptions to this rule do show up from time to time. Mourning the Perfect Childhood Perhaps you watch television or movies and see stories of wonderful, nearly idyllic families -- families made up of children and parents who play together, talk to one another, solve problems together, and show warmth and love toward one another. Maybe you feel cheated because, unlike these TV families, your family was unstable and full of conflict. Well, the families on television and in the movies aren't real. Most families have their ups and downs, their strengths and their weaknesses. But, if you grew up in a family with a BPD parent, your ups may have been higher, and your downs were surely lower than most. True compassion has a sense of wanting to relieve your suffering, but by sitting with you in it, not by wiping it away. True compassion validates every ounce of pain you're feeling, and gives you hope that it can be soothed. False compassion says `there, there' to get you to shut up about your pain, because the person can't bear it themselves. I don't know what to do with their pain, how to cope with it, so every time I try this self-compassion thing, it's like it gets thrown back in my face. Like parts are telling me where to shove it. So I stop trying. Oh, oh, oh.

Could I ever be as compassionate towards anyone as she is towards me? I hurt with the yearning and yet the impossibility of it. How do you manage to not run away? This condition responds well to acupuncture or acupressure, moxibustion, warming Chinese herbs, and the dietary guidelines listed earlier in this article. I encourage you to seek a qualified acu-pro for assistance with this common but treatable condition. Relieving dysmenorrhea. Locate BL-23 (Kidney Hollow) on the back following the middle of your waist until you're two-finger width to either side of your spine. Also find BL-31 and BL-34 (Eight Seams) pictured in the previous figure, which are located just below the bottom of the back, in the four holes in the sacrum. These acu-points affect painful menses and can be self-treated as shown in article 9, Pain Below the Belt. You can also place a hot water bottle on these spots for stagnation of cold, or have someone apply steady pressure for one to two minutes with heat. Repeat as needed for comfort. Mary doesn't schedule anything important during that time of the month, she told me. Since she was a teenager, the two weeks after ovulation and before the beginning of her menses have held nothing but pain and discomfort. Chaos and stress probably permeated the atmosphere. You have good reason to feel like you missed out on something. The following sections can help you understand the effects your parent with BPD may have had on you. Not everyone will have had the same experience because BPD symptoms vary from person to person. By exploring the impact BPD had on your childhood, you can move past your past and start living a better life for yourself in the present. Understanding the impact of BPD on children Children raised by a parent with BPD are at greater risk for depression, substance abuse, behavior problems, and other emotional disorders than children raised by parents without a personality disorder.