Finding Forgiveness and Self-Compassion

This helps. This reduces the shame of why I've not managed it before. I haven't had the right circuitry, because I've never had the experience of compassion until now. Press Acu-Points to Pause Your Menopause The natural process of menopause has been getting comforting help from Oriental Medicine for centuries. As you've already read, diet, exercise, and a healthy outlook are key components of any comprehensive treatment plan. Hot flashes, dry skin, vaginal dryness, increased thirst, insomnia, forgetfulness, and anxiety are part of the deficient heart yin pattern in Oriental Medicine. The term deficient yin in this case often refers to the reduction in estrogen. The term heart addresses not only the organ itself, but the accompanying forgetfulness, insomnia, palpitations, and mood changes. Pausing menopause. Locate KD-1 (Gushing Spring) on the middle of the sole of your foot, one-third the distance from the base of your toes to the heel in a little hollow between muscles. While breathing deeply, apply firm pressure with your thumbs for one to two minutes. This acu-point helps clear your head and bring down your body temperature. You may not have inherited the relevant genes, or you may have had other positive influences that mitigated against your chances of ending up with the disorder. Reviewing your relationship with your parent The preceding section illustrates how BPD in a parent can affect kids in various ways. However, even more valuable to understand is exactly how your parent with BPD (or BPD-like traits) affected you and your childhood. In all likelihood, you've either experienced grief over these effects or you will at some point in the future. After all, having a parent with BPD means you lost something very significant -- specifically, the childhood that all kids want to have. And, unless you've had professional help with this issue, that grieving process may have yet to surface.

Coming to terms with your grief through Grief Exploration Questions You can begin to resolve grief by reviewing all facets of the relationship you had or still have with your BPD parent. Consider answering the following Grief Exploration Questions about this relationship: My experience of compassion in the room, here, in therapy, with this therapist, is providing the building blocks for me to develop self-compassion towards myself. Slowly but slowly. Without it, our suffering persists. Compassion begins to close it off. You need compassion from me, and you need compassion from yourself. I need to pinpoint all possibilities. At one level they will never end. We have very little choice over that. But what we do have a choice over is how we respond to our suffering. Compassion is the only right response to suffering. This is a great point to press throughout the day to regain balance. Pausing menopause. Locate HT-7 (Spirit's Door) at the end of the wrist crease, up from the little finger on the palm side of the hand. Hold this point with your index finger, closing your eyes and breathing deeply to calm your mind and release tension. Many of the conditions we've discussed here have been given more reasonable solutions partly due to better education and the growing demand for results. I'm glad that Oriental Medicine offers such possibilities for normal conditions that were just not talked about. We will continue our investigation into ways that acupuncture and acupressure can alleviate other gynecological problems.

The Least You Need to Know Thirty to forty percent of women experience disruptive PMS. Cutting back on caffeine sources like coffee, tea, soda, and chocolate help curb PMS symptoms. What was your childhood like with this parent? What did you value about your parent, and what was problematic for you? What did you learn from your parent (including good and bad)? What resentments do you carry today from your relationship with this parent? What about that parent do you feel grateful for? How would your life be different today (in both good and bad ways) if your parent hadn't had BPD? What things could your parent not provide for you that you found through someone else (such as your other parent, a friend, a relative, or a teacher)? Taking a close look at remembrances from the past, such as old photo albums, school report cards, letters, or long-forgotten diaries can facilitate your review. Take time to mull over your answers to these questions. Notice your feelings as you do. I'm here to try to become a better version of me, because who I am right now is full of suffering. I can avoid some suffering with better choices. With self-compassion. But from inside comes the dread feeling again, like a turning away. But `I hear you, I'm with you, I'm for you, I'll sit with you' compassion. It doesn't take the suffering away, but it does ease it a little. It's like gas-and-air.

You still feel it, but it's further away and less distressing. All my life, unconsciously, I have been seeking compassion. In all the myriad ways I have sought help, or support, or sympathy, or empathy, what I've been looking for is for someone to hear my pain, and validate it, and sit with me in it. Acu-points offer effective relief for painful periods. Menopause is a natural transition in life, not a disease. Calm nerves and release menopausal tension with acupressure on KD-1 and HT-7. Silent Sufferers You're not wearing bandages, a plaster cast, or a sling, so you must not be hurt too bad. Without a reminder, your friends and family might forget you're dealing with a real health challenge. Sometimes other people don't understand that pain can be covered up as you try to live a normal life. Your pain doesn't always show. Most of the patients I've seen with the following conditions such as endometriosis, ovarian cysts, and chronic bladder infections have either a hard time finding the words for what is going on, or have given up reminding those around them. They often suffer in silence. You may experience some angst or pain as you ponder these issues. Discussing your answers and feelings with a highly trusted friend or perhaps your siblings (if you feel close to them) may be useful to you. If your feelings are especially painful or difficult, consider seeking professional help to resolve them. The point of grieving is to fully appreciate the meaning of your relationship with a problematic parent. As you understand this relationship -- the good, the bad, and the ugly -- you may find yourself more able to let go and move on. Carrying resentment and anger only causes you harm -- holding on to these emotions doesn't change your past or your future. Expressing your feelings

After you've thoroughly processed your childhood relationship, consider writing a letter to your parent with BPD. We generally don't recommend actually sending the letter to your parent because the point isn't to change your parent or extract an apology. Rather, the intent is to give you an outlet through which you can express your feelings. At times I've wanted to shout it from the rooftops. I've wanted the whole world to know how much pain I'm in. And mostly I've heard only silence in return. Because the world is not good at compassion. I'm not good at compassion. And I'm needing this experience, now and here and week by week, in therapy, of receiving compassion from an attuned, empathic, grounded human being, so that I can know what it is, so that I can grow the neurobiological substrates to be able to express it towards myself. This is the start. I have the capacity for compassion, because I am a human being, and to be human is to be compassionate. We are built to bear suffering--both our own, and other people's. I couldn't manage my suffering when I was a child, because it was too much, and because I was only a child. Well, I'm going to speak up about these conditions and the treatments that Oriental Medicine has waiting for you. Whether you're dealing with cysts, eczema, endometriosis, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), or anxiety, get the help you need from these time-tested treatments. I know it's not always been easy. I encourage you to continue through the upcoming articles to discover a way to smile . Female Frustrations In This article Target the tangled-up pain and dysfunction of endometriosis with the function of Oriental Medicine