Conscious and Nonconscious Aspects of Thinking

He didn't want to use too small an amount and have to do it over nor did he want to use too much. He went about it scientifically. When he was ready to detonate the charge, Fred and the farmer went behind the pickup truck where a wire was running to the detonator. He looked at the farmer, said a prayer, and plunged the detonator. It worked . The stump broke loose from the ground, rose through the air in a curving arc and then plummeted down right on the cab of the truck. Fred's heart sank, and all he could think of was the ruined cab. Not the farmer. Stop and think about the last few times you helped someone else. How would you describe the person you helped? Most of the time, people help those who are close to them. If they do stop to help a stranger, it is often because they feel a sense of similarity to that person. After all, it is easier for us to imagine ourselves in the shoes of people like us, to take their perspective, and feel a sense of empathy for their situation (Krebs, 1975). In one study conducted in the 1970s, research assistants dressed either like hippies (think bell bottoms, sandals, flowered shirts, and long, flowing hair) or more conservatively (pressed slacks, polished shoes, short hair) (Emswiller et al. They positioned themselves in the campus student union, approached passing students, and asked to borrow a dime. Some of the students they asked were themselves dressed like hippies; What did the researchers find? People were more likely to help if the other person dressed the way they did. They want to shield themselves from you. They place objects between you and themselves because they are not comfortable.

Even small items like a notearticle, a coffee cup, or a pen or pencil. Anything to psychologically block themselves from you. They make quick changes in head direction. When you are in the middle of a discussion, and you ask a question that makes someone uncomfortable, and they make a quick turn of the head, or a quick head movement when they are expected to answer, they might be lying. When someone shrugs when they are speaking, it can be an indication that they do not believe what they themselves are saying. That might be a lie, or it might mean they don't care about what they are saying. Statement Analysis is another way to detect lying. People tend to give out more information than they were asked for when they are lying. He was full of amazement and admiration. Slapping Fred on the back he said, Not bad. With a little more practice you'll get it in the bed every time! Conflict provides opportunity for growth in a relationship. Conflict is like dynamite. It can be helpful if used in the right way but can also be destructive at the wrong time or in the wrong manner. Through conflict a person can share his differences with another individual. Facing conflict is also a way of testing one's strength and resources. Each person in a conflict situation will bring one or more alternative choices to the discussion. These can be explored together, and each person can learn from the other. When it comes to helping, birds of a feather most definitely do flock together. The notion that people are more likely to help similar others has a pleasant ring to it, but the dark underbelly of this effect is people's tendency to walk past those who are dissimilar or against whom they are prejudiced.

Many studies of helping have revealed that markedly less help is given to members of socially devalued groups. In one study, researchers made phone calls to unsuspecting White participants (Gaertner, 1973). Speaking either without a distinctive accent or with a southern Black accent, the caller pretended to be someone whose car had broken down and who had just used his or her last dime to call what seemed to be a wrong number. The request: Will you please phone a garage and send out a tow truck? When participants presumed that the caller was White, they were significantly more likely to volunteer to call a tow truck than when they presumed that the caller was Black. Perhaps you're thinking: This study took place 40 years ago. Surely times have changed! A more recent meta-analysis of similar studies (Saucier et al. For instance. Someone is writing out their story about the events in their lives around the time of a stolen cookies event. They add several unnecessary intangible things to the story that have nothing to do with the scenario, like, Then I was thinking about that story on the news about the kid who loved his parents, and then I went back to coming down the stairs as I walked into the kitchen and never saw any cookies. Changing verbal cues are interesting, because they can point to a person becoming nervous or at being caught, or more resolute at being deceptive. Verbal cues are a better indicator as to whether someone is lying than body language. When a person states that they are trying to be honest, they are coming right out and telling you that they are dishonest. I'm doing the best I can to tell you the truth, is like saying, I'm doing the best I can at leaving out the important stuff. When someone says something in their statement like, then later on we went and got some ice cream, they are leaving the portion of their time between when they stopped telling you what they did and when they left for ice cream. They are omitting facts. Omission is lying. When the conflict is resolved, there can be growth on the part of both individuals. Again, Dr Small states: Disagreements come and they must be handled in one way or another.

We must also make the distinction that the disagreements are one thing, behaving disagreeably is quite another. Unresolved conflicts interfere with growth and satisfying relationships. Barriers are erected when conflicts are not resolved. We tend to become defensive in order not to be hurt. A defensive reaction places a strain on any relationship. Jesus experienced conflict. He was in constant conflict with the religious leaders of Judea. They wanted to defeat Him and get rid of Him. In one set of experiments published in 2008, 92% of White college students came to the aid of another White student who had fallen and seemed to be injured in the next room, compared with only 70% when the victim was Black (Kunstman & Plant, 2008). And those who did offer help to the Black victim were about a minute slower to respond. When Black participants were faced with the same situation, they were equally likely to help the victim, regardless of his or her race. In follow-up studies, Whites reported that when the victim was Black, the situation seemed less severe, and they felt less responsible for intervening. Indeed, according to the meta-analysis by Saucier and colleagues (2005), Whites are especially unlikely to help a Black individual when they can claim nonracial justifications for their inaction, evidence of what has been called aversive racism, a topic you might remember learning about in article 10. Race isn't the only dimension on which prejudice plays a role in the failure to help. Even families aren't immune. Parents are less likely to pay for tuition for their overweight than for their normal-weight children (Crandall, 1991), an effect that is typical of a general prejudice against those who are overweight (Crandall, 1994). Even when people do not actively harm members of socially stigmatized groups, the tendency to withhold help and assistance can be a subtle but pervasive form of discrimination. This type of discrimination is especially likely when people have a convenient excuse for their inaction. Limiting their smile or emotions to only their mouth while talking is a sign of deception. In a natural smile the whole face is involved.

When someone takes on a baby doll face or a zombie face and only their mouth moves while the rest of their face is still, that is very bizarre and unnatural and something is not right, thy might be lying. Stuttering and stammering, when a person does not usually have these tics is a sign that they are nervous and fighting back adrenaline. They may just be afraid if they feel intimidated, but if there is not intimidating going on, and it's just a normal situation with two people talking, they are probably being dishonest. Over selling the story. When a person is giving unnecessary details, it can be because they don't believe it themselves, and they feel unconvinced, so you must be too. This is not the same as adding false or intangible details, they are just adding unrelated things into the story to fill up space to be more convincing. Filling the silence in pauses are signs of insecurity, and that can be an indication of lying. When you are having a discussion with someone who is hiding something, the normal pauses in conversation make them nervous. John 8:2-7,9-11 is an account of one of the conflicts between Jesus and the religious leaders: And early in the morning [Jesus] came again into the temple, and all the people were coming to Him; And the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the midst, they said to Him, Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; And they were saying this, testing Him, in order that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus . And when they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she had been, in the midst. Jesus said to her, Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you? And she said, No one, Lord. For example, as we reviewed in article 10 as well, a White participant is less likely to help a Black victim if it is plausible that someone else might intervene (Gaertner & Dovidio, 1977). The Empathy Gap