Humans Are Social Beings

They grant that when people empathize with someone in need, they feel that person's pain. But they point out that the pain becomes their pain, such that the motivation to help really traces back to reducing one's own pain--that is, egoistic motivation (Cialdini et al. Researchers considered this question and ultimately did not find much support for this egotistic alternative (Carlson & Miller, 1987; Miller & Carlson, 1990). Although we sometimes might be like Joey, helping others just to make ourselves feel better when we don't empathize with others, Phoebe might have been right in claiming that the primary motive behind her helpful nature was a genuine altruistic concern with the welfare for others. SOCIAL PSYCH AT THE MOVIES Prosocial Behavior in The Hunger Games Imagine this: You and 23 other people are competing in the biggest reality TV show ever created. But this is fear, and fear can be an indicator if they have done something especially bad. Profuse sweating is also considered a sign that a person may be lying. They truly have to be nervous and scared to sweat so much. Maybe they did something really bad, but maybe it's just warm, so if it is not warm, and they arte sweating, it might be because they are lying. When people are under pressure they have a tendency to have difficulty swallowing. When someone is caught in the act, they might have to force themselves to swallow. Lying causes an increase in adrenaline, so this is one of the better indicators. Adrenaline increase causes faster breathing. Watch their breathing. If they suddenly start taking quicker breaths, followed by a long breath, or a sigh, then they might be fibbing. They have learned to speak one another's language. They have learned the uniqueness of their personalities and how to adjust to each other.

Because each person is unique and what each person brings to the marriage is unique, conflict will emerge. There will be numerous conflicts throughout the life of a marriage, and this isn't bad; How you respond to the conflicts and deal with them are the real issues. Let's define conflict: Conflict . One of the traditional ways that couples learn to deal with conflict is to suppress it--they try to forget it, sweep it under the rug or shrug it off. This so-called nice way has been equated with being Christian. Burying conflicts, however, only builds resentment that drains you of energy and colors your entire perception of daily life. When differences are buried, they are buried alive and will resurrect themselves eventually. The stakes are life and death, and only the strongest survive. Worse yet, you are forced to play, and there can be only one winner. What would you do? This is the premise of the film The Hunger Games (Collins et al. The time is the distant future. The Capitol government rules over the nation of Panem. To punish lower-class citizens for a past uprising, the Capitol forces each of its 12 districts to offer up a teenage boy and girl, chosen by lottery, to compete in the annual Hunger Games, a nationally televised event in which these young Tributes must fight one another to the death, until a sole survivor remains. In these cutthroat circumstances, we might expect the characters to have little capacity for prosocial behavior. Yet acts of kindness and care do occur. The concepts outlined in this article help explain why. Long, slow sighs are almost like they are saying, ok you caught me in a lie. They may be doing this because they are trying to slow their heart rate down from all the extra adrenaline.

Hesitating before answering a simple, direct question is one of the most accurate ways to tell if someone is lying. Hesitating is a sign of thinking, it's like they are looking for the answer to the question themselves, they are trying to dream it up. They can't give the honest answer so they have to think for a second. Incongruence is often a symptom of a liar. Such as when someone answers by shaking or nodding the head in opposition to the assertion being put forward by their accuser, I swear to god, I am telling the truth, I did not take the cookies. If they say the word not which is a negative word, at the same time they are nodding their head because they are trying to affirm that they are telling the truth, that's a sign to look out for. In that statement, they would be more likely to shake their head as if they were saying no I am not lying. People fidget when they want to release energy, as they are being made uncomfortable. Some couples handle conflict by expressing their feelings unreservedly. For some this approach resembles war. Wave after wave of attack mounts and the intensity increases. In time, verbal garbage is spoken, memories are activated that would put an elephant's memory to shame, and total frustration is the end result. During this time each spouse assumes the role of a skilled lawyer, eager not only to indict the other but to see him or her convicted (and in some cases hung! WHAT DO YOU THINK? What major conflicts have you experienced in your marriage? How have you managed to resolve conflicts in the past? To what degree have differences in your personality and your spouse's contributed to your conflicts? Many couples state that what pains them most about conflict is the constant quarreling. The story's first remarkable prosocial act occurs when the protagonist, Katniss Everdeen (played by Jennifer Lawrence), steps forward to take the place of her beloved 12-year-old sister, Prim (played by Willow Shields), who was initially selected to be District 12's female Tribute. Why would Katniss volunteer to be thrust into a situation in which she is almost certain to die?

The idea of kin selection provides one answer: We are innately predisposed to help those who share many of our genes. We also witness characters who are not genetically closely related helping one another. In one scene, Katniss has been chased up a tree by an alliance of vicious, highly trained Tributes from other districts. Her goose appears to be cooked until 12-year-old Rue (played by Amandla Stenberg), a Tribute who is hiding in a nearby tree, gives her a tip: Break a branch to drop a nest of poisonous wasps on the assailants. Rue also cares for Katniss after she is subsequently stung by one of the wasps. Why does Rue choose to help another competitor, knowing that it could mean her disadvantage, or death, later in the Games? Kin selection probably is not the answer: Katniss and Rue have different ethnic backgrounds, and their homelands are far apart, making it unlikely that they are close genetic relatives. More likely, Rue anticipates that Katniss will reciprocate by providing help in the future. If a question is making them uncomfortable because the honest answer will incriminate them, they might fidget where they are standing or sitting. It's an indication that they are uncomfortable and they want to leave. If they are in a situation that should not make a person uncomfortable, normally, that should not happen. Leaning back from the person they are lying to is a sign that they may have no interest in honesty. When people are being sincere, they tend to lean in. Leaning back means they want to be somewhere else. They are trying to get away, trying to opt-out of the situation, or they are even trying to distance themselves from their own words coming out of their mouth because they are such awful lies and they know it. In a normal conversation and interaction, people mirror each other. If one person is standing akimbo, or has their arms crossed, the person they are interacting with, most of the time will do the same thing. When one person starts to flail about, or starts to consistently avoid mirroring, there is a 54% chance they are lying. Other couples say they avoid conflict, if at all possible, because of the biblical teaching concerning quarreling. But what does the Bible say about conflict?

What does it say about quarrels? Are quarreling and conflict synonymous? Not really. Many conflicts are handled and resolved without quarreling. A quarrel has been defined as verbal strife in which angry emotions are in control, and the couple does not deal with the issue but instead each attacks the other person. The Scripture tells us not to be involved in quarrels: Foolish people are always fighting, but avoiding quarrels will bring you honor (Prov. Just as charcoal and wood keep a fire going, a quarrelsome person keeps an argument going (Prov. Let's consider some basic assumptions about conflict. In this case, reciprocal helping may have been stronger than the situational pressure to kill everyone in sight. And it pays off: Later, Katniss shares food with Rue and does her best to protect her. When Rue is fatally wounded, Katniss shows tremendous empathy for her, easing her dying, and paying respect to her after her death in numerous ways and at considerable risk to herself. Another scene illustrates the power of empathy to spur altruism. Prior to entering the arena, Katniss is mentored by Haymitch Abernathy (Woody Harrelson). Later, while watching the Hunger Games on TV, Haymitch sees Katniss in agonizing pain after she is injured in battle. This prompts him to petition a sponsor from Panem's elite class to have a healing balm delivered to Katniss. Why does he take the time and energy to do this? He does not personally benefit, and Katniss had done nothing special to deserve his favor. Empathy seems to be the answer. They might be uncomfortable for other reasons, but they might also just not be interested in divulging personal things with you because you creep them out or something. When people are in a normal state, usually they are relaxed and their bodies will be more spread out.