Tuesday, 10 November 2020

Get into the Flow

You have to learn to deal with your issues. If someone doesn't understand mathematics, what pills can I prescribe? The only solution is for that person to learn math. Pills can help you forget that you do not know math--but pills can't teach you math. You have to learn how to deal with your issues. There is no point in taking a pill to forget that you have unresolved problems. Olivia had spent a year visiting multiple psychiatrists. They gave her varied combinations of anti-depressants, mood stabilisers and anti-anxiety pills. The medicines made her drowsy and she would zone out. You don't want to be alone, so you decide to go see a movie. You start to get ready. As you reach for your wallet, you have a sense of dread as you notice it is missing. What do you feel? Take some time to notice feelings, sensations, and thoughts in your body and mind. If you feel dread, what does it feel like? Where do you feel it in your body? Common places to experience sensations are the solar plexus, chest, and throat. Do you feel a tightening or a sinking sensation--perhaps queasiness? Do you notice any temperature changes in your hands? They believe that keeping painful energies from reaching them will protect them because they are still wounded, and they do not have any idea as to how they go about training.

This characteristic of being closed off or aloof can cause others to look at you as if you are cold or heartless, because of the way that you disconnect with people during their times of trauma. The fact is that you are not yet able to deal with seeing someone cry or get hurt in any way; This is because you feel completely awkward when it comes to trying to handle the pain or suffering of another person, so you are not able to handle it, which causes you to shut down and run away. It is not that you are a horrible person; When an untrained person is forced to witness someone going through a painful situation, this will be extremely painful for them as well as hard to handle. When the shut-down process begins, this is when other people begin to look at this person like they are cold and have no compassion for others, which is completely false. They are the opposite, but until they gain the knowledge of who they are, the shutting down and running will continue. When they come into their full power, they will never shut down again, because they now realize the purpose of them being so extremely and beautifully open, which is to help heal others. When surrounded by the right people, and connected in the right places, with the correct type of energy, this special person can be just as open as anyone else. If this is not the place it comes from, it will never work. You will just beat yourself, and when you do this, it often becomes a substitute for correcting the behavior. This is because you are too ashamed even to look at said behavior, so how could you expect yourself to be able to do anything about it? We've talked before about how habits tend to have a domino effect. This is why it is so important to start the morning on a positive note. Make a rule for yourself, and anyone you are close with that heavy topics that require a lot of brainpower to work through or will bring a solemn mood to the room are not going to be tackled early in the morning or late at night. Whenever you feel yourself slipping away from the habits you are trying to establish, this is not the time to beat yourself up. It is time to take a moment to remember why you want to keep this habit up anyways. If you are trying to exercise daily, it is probably not the actions themselves that you want to do. It is the result that you want. Whenever there's a cost to taking too long or an advantage to moving fast, these final three strategies, representing thirty-four known biases, help give us that necessary boost of confidence to take action rather than delay.

STRATEGY 11: Stick with it We're motivated to complete things that we've already invested time and energy in rather than change course. STRATEGY 12: Protect existing beliefs When our beliefs are challenged, we'll often automatically react by defending them rather than questioning them. STRATEGY 13: Do the safe thing All things being equal, we'll generally take what we perceive to be the less risky path. To develop honest bias when it comes to acknowledging our need to act in uncertainty, we can take Jeff Bezos's advice and admit that there's a chance we'll need to turn around and head back if we find out we were wrong. My favorite Amazon Leadership Principle captures this well. Principle number four is: I closed my eyes really tight and put on my best I'm a Christian and even though I don't go to church please help me God voice. I asked God if I could have her just a little longer, maybe until her birthday in January. Her birthday came. We celebrated with balloons and some cake that she couldn't taste because cancer sucks. But she was still here. So I sent up another prayer asking if I could keep her until my son graduated from high school. Maybe God knew I was being greedy and was over me begging. She died that April. Bargaining was over. Depression. When a promotion is unsuccessful, it is the marketing team's fault.

Mistakes made either within a company or in one's personal life seems to attract scapegoat searching. Even people with a growth mindset can fall prey to this trap, naming and blaming the person at fault. Once it's identified, and we also find out what's wrong with this person, we get peace of mind that we traced down the problem. Obviously, it's because of them why things went wrong, and the solution, obviously, is to get rid of them. Isn't this a general way of looking at a problem? It's a human thing to do. This common behavior pattern prevents us from an important aspect of improvement--blame deprives us of learning; Another harmful byproduct of a blaming environment is dishonesty. People who make mistakes, afraid of being blamed and other negative consequences, stop taking responsibility and try to cover up their mistakes and mask important problems. Without communication there is no respect. Without care and without respect there is no real love, no real friendship, no real relationship. So, show respect to the people you love by communicating. If you have been helped by reading this article and now feel happier than before, spread the word! So, it is all about admission and communication. And don't omit to communicate! In the moment you have admitted it to yourself and bravely shared with all, your heart will open up for the whole world, for all sentient beings and everybody will enjoy its benefit. Let's explain it in a simple way. Imagine that the whole population of our planet is represented by only three inhabitants and you are one of them. All three of you are brave and have opened up and are doing everything for the benefit of the other two. But the drugs couldn't address the core question.

She wanted to erase all memories of her boyfriend Mikhail. The harder she tried to forget him, the harder it became to do so. Olivia was clearly an emblematic case of experiential avoidance. The more one tries to avoid an experience, the more powerful it becomes. I have to let him off the hook after what he's done to me? I have to accept that he was right? You have to accept that he has wronged you and let it go. Forgiving someone doesn't mean that they are right. It means accepting that they are wrong, but letting bygones be bygones. Do they feel sweaty, hot, or cold? Is there any place you feel unsteady or wobbly? Notice how these sensations change over time as you attend to them. Does the intensity increase or decrease; As you settle, the thought comes to you that Oh, I probably left my wallet in the other room. Imagine that you go and look there. Feel your legs as they move. Notice whether your feet and legs walk slowly or if they sense a pressure to go quickly. How do you know? What are the sensations as you go from area to area checking the other places you might have left your wallet? Many times, these personalities are so comfortable with the idea of spending time alone, this can damage your spirit;

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