I can deny my feelings of self-love

White Fragility, a article by Robin DiAngelo that's about why it's so difficult for white people to talk about racism, provides an in-depth and masterfully articulated description of the paradox that lies at the heart of all bias: If we become adults who explicitly oppose racism, as do many, we often organize our identity around a denial of our racially based privileges that reinforce racist disadvantage for others. What is particularly problematic about this contradiction is that white people's moral objection to racism increases their resistance to acknowledging their complicity with it. This theory illuminates an important point related to our goal to be less biased. DiAngelo is saying that when we see that racism is a very real problem in the world, we try to build an identity for ourselves that distances us from the problem. In racial terms, the phrase I'm color-blind has come to signify individuals who self-proclaim an absence of racist tendencies within them, because they perceive that to be the goal. Their intentions might be sincere--by distancing ourselves from racism, white people can more easily point to it and denounce it as problematic. Unfortunately, it's not possible to be color-blind when the impacts of racism extend beyond our thoughts and into our institutions, platforms, and environment. Viewing ourselves as self-aware about our racial bias just incentivizes us to not look for it. Like: make sure you take pictures of you and her holding hands. Oh, and record her voice for later (one of my regrets! We exchanged emails for the rest of 2013. I re-read her emails over and over again with the intention of checking back on her, but I never did. My own grief got the best of me, and I completely muted myself from our conversation. I'd occasionally see her blog posts travel down my timeline, but she never followed up so neither did I. One day, I was indulging in my morning ritual: a deep scrolling through Facearticle. After I skipped past a few status updates, I noticed a familiar name: Karyn Washington. But this Facearticle post wasn't from her. It read, Karyn Washington, founder of the blog For Brown Girls and popular campaign #DarkGirlsRedLip, has committed suicide. Accountability-based conversations will help people get accustomed to openness about problems and will help in the verification of a common understanding.

Clear contracting is also essential to make sure tasks are accomplished, standards met, and expected results delivered. Being accountable doesn't equal being the one to be blamed. Many people tend to use these two terms as synonyms--that's why they cringe upon hearing of accountability or responsibility. Being accountable, as a term defined by the dictionary, is to be counted on or reckoned on. Blaming, on the other hand, is defined as finding fault with, to censure, revile, reproach. Clearly different meanings. Accountability encourages the keeping of agreements in a safe space; Accountability doesn't exclude the possibility of errors happening; But when we are held accountable and we take responsibility for our shortcomings, we can learn from our mistakes, grow from there, and do better in the future. If you feel that you want to pass this knowledge to others and you don't have the money for that, simply contact me and I will provide a free copy for you. Let's do it together! However, I know and I feel that as you advance on your path you alone will be able to help more and more people on a higher level. This is the way to become a better person, and ultimately being the best person you can be! INSTRUCTIONS FOR HAPPINESS IN A FEW SENTENCES: * Stop self-protection and start living! * Accept death and open up! * Renounce fear by realizing that it is just Evil in a different guise, whichever shape or form it manifests itself in, be it Satan or some other accepted representation! * Swing wide the doors of your heart and let it become one with the Universal Loving Heart! * Your true nature is love; Medicines haven't worked for you either.

Why don't you try a different approach? She turned to me. I would if I could, but how is it possible to forgive Mikhail? Even the smallest thought of him makes my blood boil. I can feel palpitations coming on when you say his name. Olivia was puzzled. I walked around to her side of the table, and raised my hand above her head. My hand would be above your head. I'd have to stand at a position higher than you. You take a big sigh of relief! Take as much time as you need to feel that and notice how you might smile as you think about your previous frantic state of mind. Next, your friend tells you that she's leaving shortly, but she'll wait if you come right now. So you walk to her house as fast as you can. Feel the strength in your legs as you walk briskly. You knock on the door and there's no answer. You knock a second time and there's still no answer. You begin to think that you must have missed her. You begin to feel a bit irritated. After all, she said she would wait and you came as quickly as you could. You already know they can read people, which can be very beneficial in your life journey when you can see right through the crap that someone is feeding you, there is nothing better.

There are some bold people in this world, and most of them have no problem standing right in front of your face, with the intent to deceive you. Even when someone is talking to you with a smile, you will be able to see right past that smile and know if it is genuine or not, this is a true blessing to have this ability. We all remember those times when your mom knew when you were not telling the complete truth. You always wondered how she knew, imagine having that same power with everyone that you come into contact with. It is almost impossible to trick one of them, as they are so good at detecting energy, it does not matter what the person is saying from their mouth, because they can detect the energy, which will let them know right away if that person is telling the truth or not. Being able to read people can sometimes be a problem socially, because you may just want to enjoy a nice conversation with someone, not even thinking about reading them, and all of a sudden, you get a sign. It can be very frustrating because now you have to pay attention, it seems they are lying about something, trying to pretend or misrepresent themselves, and you can see right through it. This causes you to become uncomfortable because now you realize that this person is insulting your intelligence, they have no idea that your spirit is communicating with you and sending you all kinds of negative signals about this person. Many times, your mind may be somewhere else, and your spirit will all of a sudden tell you to pay attention to something or someone. If this is so, I know that it is not that you do not want to see people- you just need to have recharge time in between bouts of doing so. You also need time to mentally prepare for times where you are going to be around a crowd. This is why I say you need to accommodate your personality rather than try to change it. We cannot decide whether we are introverts or extroverts. This means if you are an introvert, simply trying to take that trait out of yourself and take on the habits of an extrovert will not only not work, but it will backfire on you. You really will get to the point where you never want to see people if you try that. If you are not a morning person, work that into your schedule. Maybe that means you need to exercise in the afternoon. Otherwise, you will not feel in the mood to do what you are trying to. You might set your alarm for a very early hour in the morning, and then when it goes off, you disable it and then fall back asleep, defeating your purpose, and you have to reschedule time for your workout. The act of existing in a world designed to perpetuate racial prejudice means that, by being white in the first place, white people have already benefited from racism in innumerable ways: the schools they went to, the teachers they had, the jobs their parents held, the movies they watched, the articles they read, the laws of government, etc were all influenced by racism to uphold white supremacy.

I love DiAngelo's suggestions for those of us who want to be as helpful as possible within the world we live in, which involve internalizing some of these assumptions about ourselves and the world. Here's a partial list of assumptions she suggests to those who are trying to come to terms with racism in themselves and in society, which I've mapped to the head, the heart, and the hands: What is true? Racism is a multilayered system embedded in our culture. All of us are socialized into the system of racism. Racism cannot be avoided. Given my socialization, it is much more likely that I am the one who doesn't understand the issue. What is meaningful? Racism is complex, and I don't have to understand every nuance of the feedback to validate that feedback. I paused and immediately hopped up out of the bed. I grabbed my laptop. Maybe my phone was wrong! This could not be true. Searching for the answers, or hopefully the lies, I clicked around Facearticle. I went to Karyn's Facearticle profile and instantly broke out into tears. Her friends and family had already begun to leave their goodbyes and messages of sorrow. I cried harder. I was speechless. I think that was the day I realized that I was depressed, and I couldn't hide it anymore. Accountability is the tool for constructive conversations and awareness of the present reality.