I have the right to make decisions for myself

Here's where you get to read minds by paying close attention. What must you do? Remember every fact. Do your best not to draw their attention to the information they shared. Right away, talk about anything else besides that bit of info. Give it about five minutes, when they must have forgotten what they told you. Finally, mention the cat or holiday experiences, but use different phrases and words from the ones they used to share that info with you. This way, you're literally their delayed echo. As you use different language, you seem like you somehow picked up on their experiences, like you had a crystal ball or something. Flattery: People find it flattering when you can see them for who they are on the inside. When you think of sadness, the feeling can range on a wide spectrum (grief, regret, and pain to name a few), and all of them are experienced and exhibited in different ways. Despite this, companies continue to spend money to identify emotions through physical signs such as facial expressions, body changes, etc In 2007, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) agents wanted to find potential terrorists based on their facial and body movements. Not only were they unable to do this, but they also spent 900 million dollars of American taxpayers hard-earned money. The truth is that emotions are created as a response to a person's own experiences. This is especially hard to grasp because we have been hardwired to believe that emotions are natural and triggered involuntarily. But according to the Theory of Constructed Emotion, emotions occur in different areas of the brain at the same time based on a person's history. The brain then uses the input to either agree with the prediction or to alter it. It constructs a reality based on past as well as sensorial experiences. For example, if somebody eats the sandwich you left for yourself, your response to it could vary, and each would come with its own set of neural patterns as well as bodily changes. If you had a difficult day where everything went wrong and that sandwich was going to be a saving grace, you might slam the door, shout, bang your fist, make an exasperated sigh, or walk off.

They were also more likely to follow through on their acceptance and still be working in the job half a year later. These studies suggest that we can turn descriptive norms, what many people are already doing, into prescriptive norms just by telling people about them. What is becomes what should be. People are generally more likely to adopt a behavior if they know that most others are already doing it. We sometimes refer to this as herding behavior: the behavior of others, the herd, informs us as to what is normal, appropriate, or beneficial to do. And we then do likewise. An early powerful demonstration of this was run in a parking lot. The researchers put flyers on people's windshields as well as on the ground. They were interested in learning what fraction of the people finding a flyer on their car windows would toss it on the floor as opposed to either keeping it or disposing of it properly. As you would expect, people were much more likely to throw their flyer on the ground if the parking lot was already littered. As you describe them, your description might not be accurate, but often those traits you're talking about will be relatable and easy to identify with. Am I advocating you lie to someone about them? It matters that your flattery is strictly founded upon truth. This is not only honest, but the listener is also likely to believe you because of it. I will give a few examples here, but please remember that they work particularly with Western culture. When dealing with people from other cultures, they might not work - or be acceptable. General traits you can assume of someone include friendliness, hard-working, smart, positive, reliable, resourceful, loyal, and honest. Traits you can assume are true of females are helpful, perceptive, underappreciated, intuitive, sensitive. As for males, you can assume their traits include, rational, independent, confident, excellent problem-solving skills, practical. Covering All Possibilities (CAP): This mind-reading technique is like the previous one, except you pick two opposing traits.

Or, you could simply scowl and vow to label your food the next time. It is possible to have a wide range of responses to similar life events depending on what the emotional and situational context is. Much like Darwin's theory, this theory of emotions also diminishes our understanding of essences. While our memories may exist and cause us to be predisposed to certain emotions, we are the architects of our own experiences and have the liberty to design them as we please. Being an architect means that a blueprint exists. This is true for most of what happens in our body; How often do you turn into your driveway wondering how you got home? Our memory is the result of an autopilot system known as interoception. By running this tight ship, it allows us to disengage and not be conscious of what's happening at all times. It is also why we mistake our emotions to be innate. Robert Cialdini, one of the authors of this study, went on to explore the impact of such norms in many different contexts. One of the more troubling findings is that people also do more bad things if others do them as well. In one study, he and collaborators wished to find out how to discourage visitors to Arizona's Petrified Forest National Park from removing the petrified wood. They found that posting signs emphasizing that many others had stolen some made people more likely to do the same. In Spring 2013, I shared these insights with the UK Department for Business, Innovation, and Skills, then led by Secretary Vince Cable. The team I met with worked on increasing gender diversity on corporate boards in the United Kingdom without reliance on quotas. They were inspired by the work of the Behavioral Insights Team and eager to apply some of their findings to gender. They were also in a hurry as they were trying to help companies follow through on the goals set in the so-called Davies Report, written by Lord Davies of Abersoch. Following an independent review into the number of women on corporate boards launched in February 2011, Lord Davies recommended that UK listed companies in the FTSE 100 set a minimum target for 25 percent female board member representation by 2015. Lord Davies said: Over the past 25 years the number of women in full-time employment has increased by more than a third and there have been many steps towards gender equality in the workplace, with flexible working and the Equal Pay Act, however, there is still a long way to go.

You want to make sure you choose general traits, not facts that can be quantified and thus disproven. For instance, you could say, You love to hear people out, but sometimes you can get a bit impatient. This general statement could apply to anyone. They will be accepting of it because you've first highlighted the positive side to them, which takes the sting out of your negative observation. Therefore, a lot of horoscope readings seem to be oh so accurate. In making these statements, you might want to add humor to make it even easier for the listener to accept. The Barnum Effect: This is named after the famous circus leader, PT Barnum. Here, you make a very specific statement, yet, it's one that could apply to almost anyone. You begin by making a general statement, and then you observe their reaction. Based on this reaction, you can move on to more specific statements. The interoception system processes our internal and external sensations at all times and creates data that is then used as emotions. It's experienced by us in two affects, pleasure/displeasure and agitation/calmness. To understand this concept, close your eyes and imagine the perfect day at the beach. Feel the soft white sand as you curl your toes into it, feel its warmth, feel the sun beaming down at you, smell the salty air. Now imagine a different scenario. Think of a time where you were severely ill. Maybe you had mumps and were down and out in bed or had a terrible stomach. You'll experience affective feelings in both respects, but you are not experiencing the actual emotion. Either of the situations doesn't make you happy or sad. This is the part of our emotions that are understood by scientists to be innate.

Currently 18 FTSE 100 companies have no female directors at all and nearly half of all FTSE 250 companies do not have a woman in the boardroom. Radical change is needed in the mindset of the business community if we are to implement the scale of change that is needed. Similarly, Theresa May, then home secretary and minister for women and equality, commented: Women make up more than half of the population, but account for just 12. Lord Davies' report is an important step forward in understanding why this is and what can be done about it, and I shall be considering his findings very carefully. The illustration on the cover of the report graphically made this point. But was this smart messaging? Based on insights about the relevance of norms in other domains made by the director of the Behavioral Insights Team, David Halpern, I was skeptical. Was it really smart to focus on the small minority that women represented? Couldn't this data point become self-fulfilling, suggesting that this state of affairs is the norm? After all, when it comes to gender we are up against views that are likely more strongly held than those about littering, voting, or tax collection. Here's how that would work: You're a kind person -- [wait for reaction] -- no matter how bad things turn out; You tend to find opportunities where others don't and make the best of what you've got. Now, let's try this again, but with the presumption that the reaction is negative: You're not afraid to dream -- [wait for reaction] -- but you're also very practical. You don't let your dreams remain dreams. You love to root everything you do firmly in reality, and that's why you'll go places. If you're very astute, you'll notice those examples used both the flattery method and the CAP method. Now, you want to make sure you also use negative personality traits when describing them, so you don't appear to be pandering or making absurd leaps. You could start off saying, You tend to be hard on yourself, or You're quite talented at keeping grudges indefinitely, or There are things you've done in the past that you regret deeply. The Seven Ages of Man: This is also called universal experiences. With this technique, you're leaning heavily on the things we've all gone through at various points in our lives.