Millennials, Here's Why You Are Addicted To Self-Improvement

The other easy way to make viewers excited is with sexually appealing images, another feature of much popular entertainment, as Dave Barry noted. But in American culture, younger viewers are shielded much more strictly from sexual content than they are from violent content. For example, in movie ratings nudity or even use of the F-word virtually guarantees an R rating, whereas massive amounts of killing can now be found in many PG-13 movies. Back in 1985, PG-13 movies had about the same amount of gun violence as did G-rated movies; Pop culture commentator Chris Eggertsen (2016, August 6) noted the hypocrisy of the system that rates a film like Mike Birbiglia's Don't Think Twice an `R' for `language and some drug use' . Eggertsen rightly wonders why a few curse words and grown-ups smoking a joint are viewed as worse for kids to see than relentless amounts of gun violence and other forms of killing. Aside from the arousal and excitement, violent media is also appealing because it commonly portrays heroic victories over evil and injustice (eg, Goldstein, 1998; Zillmann, 1998). Decision making and cognitive fatigue both seem related to willpower, but it's possible to still have some willpower even when you're a bit burned out on the mental side and decision making. So with two decisions, you give the willpower tank a slight hit too. If you've given in to temptation with your food choices, this also gives your momentum a hit, making it more likely that you'll make bad decisions afterwards too. Because you don't have a schedule, you might get back to work a bit late, too, and take it a bit slower - both bad decisions and both further tanking your willpower. On the flipside, we have the person who eats on time and has a schedule for it - it doesn't have to be to the minute, just accurate enough that they know when to eat and when to get back to work. With the decision already made on what to eat, there's less thought involved, preserving the willpower. Having these types of routines and good habits builds positive momentum for your day. It also gets your mind used to making the right decision with less thought, so less willpower is needed for each choice. Over time, you get used to living this way, and it becomes easy to stick to your original choices. Discipline is taking effect, your willpower is growing, and what used to seem hard now seems routine. We can't fight the way God created us as unique beings. But we must seek balance as well as meet one another's needs.

When I's hear their E partners brainstorming out loud, they shouldn't assume what they hear is fact. The E is just processing aloud for the whole world to hear. Just ask the E, Are you brainstorming again? On the other hand, it would be helpful for E's to announce they are doing this when it occurs. And when an I is thinking about something, it would be helpful to let the E know instead of letting the E feel ignored. It's easy for an E to feel rejected when the I doesn't say anything (even though there's a lot of talking going on inside the I's mind). Let's look at another marriage scenario. Suppose the husband is as much of an E as an E can be, and his wife is an I. One of the first violent American TV shows, The Adventures of Superman, expressed this very succinctly: Superman fights for truth, justice and the American way. For American children watching that show, what could be better than that? Identifying with such heroes may provide a boost in self-esteem, a sense of control over threats, and a feeling that good triumphs in the end (Cantor, 1998). And these feelings may be especially strong when you yourself are the hero, as is typically the case for players of violent video games (Bushman & Huesmann, 2010). The Basic Evidence for Violent Media's Contributing to Aggression You may be thinking to yourself, Well, I watch a lot of violent entertainment and play video games, and I don't go around hurting other people. As we noted earlier, aggression is not caused by any one factor in isolation but results from particular combinations of several factors. Let's examine the evidence that exposure to media violence is one of those causal factors. Research has shown clearly that the more violence an individual watches, the more aggressive that person is (eg, Singer & Singer, 1981). And the more violent video games are played by children, the more aggressive they tend to be (Ferguson, 2015). Eating healthy, whole foods also helps keep your body healthy and stable. Making sure you don't experience sugar crashes, cravings, and other negative states is important.

Your body needs a good supply of vitamins and minerals to stay healthy, too, and a good supply of clean energy. Provide it with all of this in your diet to keep your body and mind functioning at their best. This way it becomes easier to stay disciplined. The use of a healthy diet will make you feel better in general and is helpful for discipline. A happy, healthy person has much more willpower than an unhealthy one because they have a better mood, more focus, and more energy. Meditation and mindfulness link back to willpower in the same way. Discipline feels more difficult when energy levels are low. Likewise, if a person feels unwell or tired, they will find it harder to stay disciplined. She doesn't say much in a group, but with close friends she talks more than her husband. He would love to have the house filled with people every Sunday afternoon. For her, three or four times a year is sufficient. How do they work this out? They have three couples over once a month after church. The wife knows two of the couples and feels comfortable with them. The other couple is new to her, but in a small group she can get to know them. This E and I have learned to be compatible. What about you? What could you do to blend and grow your relationship? Of course, these findings are merely a correlation and so could mean either that violent entertainment encourages aggression or that viewers who like aggression are more likely to watch violent entertainment. Longitudinal evidence (ie, studies that follow people over time) suggests that the former causal pathway provides the more likely explanation (Huesmann et al.

Lefkowitz et al. The more violent programs an individual watches as a child, the more likely that individual is to be violent up to 22 years later. In contrast, level of aggressiveness as a child does not similarly predict interest in watching violent programs as an adult. Similar findings are emerging for violent video-game play as well (Anderson et al. The best way to test for cause-and-effect is to conduct field and lab experiments in which some participants are randomly assigned to watch violent or nonviolent content (eg, Berkowitz, 1965; Geen & Berkowitz, 1966). The findings of many such studies show that exposure to media violence through watching videos or playing video games increases aggression (Bushman & Huesmann, 2010; Geen, 2001). Everything you do throughout the day uses some mental energy. Every thought you have, including the intrusive ones that happen themselves, all have a cost. Every action you take, every feeling you experience, they can all cost you a little willpower. Mindfulness is a way to take back control over your thoughts and lessen the impact of negative or intrusive thoughts. Over time you will start to get less of those thoughts, and each one will have less impact on you anyway. Your emotional state will also become more balanced, and the proven drop in cortisol only has positive effects on your body. It's like the start of a positive spiral that hits all of the areas mentioned here. Better diet and mindfulness can both improve your health and willpower, making it easier to make good choices, which then help you to live a better, healthier life - again making you more disciplined, and again leading to more good choices and habits. Exercise is another great way to boost your overall willpower. First, there are plenty of general health benefits to exercise, and second, it's a great stress reducer. Remember, you can grow from these differences. What's Your Plan?

Go back through the article and write down each characteristic that describes you. List how you will respond differently and how you would like your spouse to respond differently in order to become more compatible. Which characteristic about your spouse has been the most difficult for you to understand? Different Ways to Gather Information The next set of preferences has a profound impact on communication and intimacy in your marital relationship. These preferences reflect what sort of information you gather, how you gather it, the way you pay attention to the information you gather, and the way you share it. You are either what we call a sensor (S) or an intuitive (N). How a Sensor Processes Information Let's consider two examples that illustrate these effects. In a home for juvenile delinquent boys, Leyens and colleagues (1975) had boys in two of the cottages watch five nights of violent movies. Boys in two other cottages watched five nights of nonviolent movies. The boys were observed each night for frequency of hitting, slapping, choking, and kicking their cottage mates. The boys who watched the violent films engaged in more such aggressive behavior than those who watched the nonviolent films. In another study, Konijn and colleagues (2007) randomly assigned Dutch adolescent boys to play a violent or nonviolent video game for 20 minutes and then play a competitive game with another study participant. The winner got the privilege of blasting the loser with noise at a volume of their choosing, ranging from a tolerable 60 decibels to a potentially hearing-damaging 105 decibels. The adolescents who played the violent video game chose potentially harmful noise levels more often. As first-person shooter games become increasingly realistic and popular, research suggests they can prime and promote aggression at least in some individuals. It's important to note that the majority of these laboratory experiments show these effects of violent media primarily when participants are frustrated or provoked (eg, Geen & Stonner, 1973), and for viewers who are generally above average in aggressive tendencies (eg, Anderson & Dill, 2000; This general boost to your health will help your willpower. By burning some energy with focused exercise, you also stop yourself from feeling restless if you need to spend large parts of the day sitting around.