Give your partner permission to talk the way he or she does, to do things differently from you, to be late, to be silent. I guarantee your frustration will lessen. Resist the temptation to act aggressively when you get frustrated. It's a normal tendency to act out, but it's like blowing your horn at a train stopped on the tracks in front of you because the train is making you late to your destination. It's futile! Remember, it isn't your partner who makes you angry. It's your inner response to the person that creates the anger. You and you alone are responsible for your emotions and reactions. But just as we can easily bring to mind uplifting stories of helping, we can also easily recollect instances when someone could have been saved from danger, or a social problem could have been alleviated, if people had intervened. Consider an incident in which a 15-year-old girl was raped and beaten by several teenage boys in a dark alley outside their school's homecoming dance (Chen, 2009). More than 20 other students were said to have watched--some even recording the horrific event on their cell phones--yet no one called the police. Which of these events better captures human nature? Are we the devoted volunteers and brave at heart who elevate the needs of others above our own? Or are we the apathetic bystanders who look on and do nothing as great harm is carried out? We are, of course, both, and one of the questions that social psychology examines is why this is the case. Why do we act with compassion and courage? When do we turn our backs on others? In this article, we will consider: Use visualization to keep your goals and your fuel effective. Feel the associated emotions that help you to stay mentally strong and disciplined.
Think about your reasons why and the goals you're aiming for. I would visualize things coming to me. It would just make me feel better. Visualization works if you work hard. That's the thing. You can't just visualize and go eat a sandwich. It's good to visualize and picture your goals, but be wary that you aren't just hoping to attract it by imagining it. Belief in yourself and a success mindset are important - you have to feel that you ARE disciplined and that you ARE successful to get there. Practicing a Better Response to Anger Let me be facetious for a minute and suggest how you can make yourself angry at your spouse. It's quite easy. Just do the following. Suppose you're having a discussion with your spouse, and you approach him or her with the attitude that you want something and must have it. The key words are want and must. The next step after not getting what you want is to say, This is terrible. It's awful not to get what I want. Why don't you see it my way? Then you say, You shouldn't frustrate me like this. The biological and sociocultural bases for helping others The question of whether true altruism exists
Social and emotional reasons for helping others and how to promote them Reasons people sometimes fail to help Who is most likely to help The Basic Motives for Helping Learning Outcomes Explain the foundation of prosocial behavior from an evolutionary perspective. Cite evidence that points to a biological basis for prosocial behavior. Identify ways that prosocial behavior is learned. It doesn't happen because you're visualizing it though. It happens because you believe that you are these things, so you live in a way that reflects that - including the work, the decisions, and the sacrifices that come along with being that person. Along with the visualization, you should build habits that reinforce your drive. Make a habit of analyzing your recent progress and doing an audit of your results. Be honest with yourself to get the best out of this. Use the regular positive rewards to keep fueling your dreams. Visualize some small goals as well so that when you check them off, you've genuinely brought visualized goals into reality. It's all about enforcing the new you - the successful and disciplined you. Use habits that have visible progress, such as working on fitness. Visual results like this are powerful because they are constant reminders of the work you have already done to build yourself into something more. I must have my way. How dare you!
You'll pay for this! Then the blame game begins. When we think we must have our way, the frustration begins to build. Janice shared with me an experience that happened just two days before her appointment with me. She described how she had spent six hours cleaning the house from corner to corner and top to bottom. She literally slaved over each room, making it spotless. She was hoping for some appreciation and response from her husband. Unfortunately, he came home tired, hungry and looking forward to the Monday-night football game on TV. Before we begin, let's define what we mean by prosocial behavior. Prosocial behavior is action by an individual that is intended to benefit another individual or set of individuals. Defined in this way, many of the actions of artists such as Vincent van Gogh, actors such as Meryl Streep, entertainers such as Beyonce, scientists such as Louis Pasteur, and political figures such as Martin Luther King Jr. Many people have benefited from the artistic creations, scientific discoveries, and social changes initiated by such esteemed individuals, whether they starred in our favorite movies, developed life-saving vaccines, or led the struggle for civil rights. Although these individuals are sometimes motivated by the desire for money, fame, or self-expression, they also often, if not usually, intend to produce things of value to others. For example, from Van Gogh in the late 1800s to the contemporary graffiti of Banksy, artists have drawn attention to the difficult lives of the people they portrayed. Prosocial behavior An action by an individual that is intended to benefit another individual or set of individuals. Both Van Gogh, in his painting The Potato Eaters, and the British graffiti artist known as Banksy offer social commentary on social inequalities and issues. Although it is important to acknowledge these forms of prosocial behavior, theory and research on prosocial behavior generally have not focused on people with extraordinary talent. Dealing With Setbacks The final problem you will need to defend your discipline against is the inevitable setbacks.
Setbacks will hit you from one place or another eventually - it happens to everyone. It can be something in your personal life or your professional life. It could be a random occurrence that only affects you, or a big disaster that affects an entire industry, area, or family. Disasters come in many forms. They're also a massive test for your mental discipline. Remember when we talked about self-care? It's important to keep that in mind. You are the machine and it's important that you're healthy and happy. Not a word of appreciation did he say, nor did he seem to notice what she had done. In fact, in a half hour he had undone much of her work in the family room by spreading himself and his stuff all over the furniture. We began talking about her thoughts that led up to the tirade and the blowup that lasted from 9:00 to 11:30 that night. Here's what she came up with: He has no class or sensitivity. He messes up all my work! He'll pay for this and sleep by himself! We then talked about each statement and how it made her feel. Soon she began to see how her statements created feelings of hurt, frustration, rejection and anger. The rest of the session was spent on developing some realistic responses to what had happened. Instead, most of this work studies the factors that influence whether ordinary people choose to help or not help each other from day to day. Sometimes the kind of help people give is quite minor, such as stopping to help someone pick up a bag of groceries that has spilled.
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