Tuesday, 3 November 2020

Pursuing Goals: Desire and Attainability

You can look at it this way, fake it till you make it. Just learn to be curious and learn about the techniques. These practices will become more familiar, and you will get more confident with your abilities with time . Don't take this seriously. Have fun, explore, and keep your chakras and mind open to the wonder and possibility. Nurture Your Creativity Let your imagination run free by focusing on certain activities and letting your creativity flow. Start by learning a new craft or art. Personal relationships. This group may include a significant other, children, parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and extended family. This group also includes close friends you see or communicate with regularly. Work relationships. You likely have to deal with coworkers, managers, direct reports, clients, classmates, and associates, regardless of whether you like them. Maybe you send emails or speak on the phone with customers or suppliers. If you work remotely, you might have distant colleagues with whom you communicate by video conference call or email. If you are self-employed or a freelancer, you still have to communicate with clients and colleagues on a regular basis. Acquaintances and strangers. These are the people you encounter as you go about your day, such as the barista at your local coffee shop and the waitress at the restaurant where you are celebrating your best friend's birthday. Instead, Sherri Ann is having an affair with her dog's handler, Christy. When Sherri Ann and Christy discuss their relationship to each other and to their poodle, Rhapsody in White, we see that they are attracted by complementary characteristics--reflecting the idea that opposites attract (see text for more discussion).

Sherri Ann, who generally seems to need someone else to be in charge, describes Christy as the disciplinarian. Christy, on the other hand, values Sherri Ann's tendency to provide unconditional love, just as her mother had (note the effect of transference). The one couple whose source of attraction to each other is the most difficult to identify is Jerry and Cookie Fleck. Cookie is an energetic and not unattractive middle-aged woman who spent the earlier years of her adult life pursing what we've labeled a short-term mating strategy of having many, many one-night stands. Throughout the movie, she repeatedly runs into old flames, which only ignites feelings of jealousy in her husband, Jerry. And Jerry, it must be said, is neither highly attractive nor financially secure. In fact, he literally has two left feet, a cinematic device that could hardly scream Hey, I'm asymmetrical any louder. So what does this woman who had hundreds of boyfriends in her past see in this man, whose nickname used to be Loopy because his two left feet made him always walk in circles? Let your inspiration go through your hands. Be prepared for the surprising results. Don't worry about being perfect. Creativity is a great way to loosen up your rational mind. All that mental chatter that makes a comment with everything you do. It doesn't matter if it is wrong or right. It will try to control every action with an intended outcome. If you can calm that part of your brain that wants to be in control, you can focus your creativity to be open to other possibilities. Your third eye will have more capacity to blossom and unfold. Ground Yourself to Soar Better It might be the person whose path you cross on the train on the way to work or the guy seated next to you on a plane bound for your next vacation. Imagine a typical day.

You wake up next to your significant other and ask if they slept well, supervise your kids while they eat breakfast, negotiate with your two-year-old to eat the strawberries instead of hurling them across the room, and give some heartfelt encouragement to your oldest daughter, who's a ball of stress anticipating her SAT exam. You jump into the shower, dress, and head to work. You grab a train ticket at the station, and when your train is delayed, you exchange a few words of commiseration with the woman next to you. You finally get to the office, after picking up a coffee and giving a smile and a nod of recognition to the barista you see at least four times a week. You greet the security guard at the entrance to your office building, exchanging a couple of words about the weather being fantastic for November, before stepping into the elevator. At your desk, you email your colleague at company headquarters, explaining clearly and concisely why you think the company should hire the college grad who interviewed for the intern position yesterday. You then head into a meeting with your boss. Next month is your performance review. It can only be their shared love for their pooch, little Winky, who is the underdog (no pun intended) contender for the title of Best in Show. Although no one in this quirky cast of characters fits anyone's ideal notion of a partner, they all manage in the end to find some degree of happiness with each other. Perhaps it's their shared love of dogs and the dog-show lifestyle that really sustains these relationships, whereas other sources of attraction were only fleeting factors that initially brought them together. A Final Thought on the Evolutionary Perspective Throughout this article, we've seen that many aspects of relationships--from initial attraction to lust to jealousy--can be understood in part by looking back on the evolution of our species and considering how our psychology was shaped by natural selection. At the same time, we noted that this perspective ignites fierce debates about human nature and that the evidence for evolutionary explanations is sometimes open to alternative explanations. On the one hand, this controversy is part of what makes research on relationships so interesting. On the other, we acknowledge that all these questions about theories and methods can be overwhelming. So let's back up and get a broader perspective on this controversy. If you think about our relationship psychology as a pie, one slice of that pie is our evolved tendencies. It may not be obvious that we need to have both feet firmly on the ground to open the abilities of our third eye. You also need to open it up gradually.

First, build reliable foundations to allow yourself to be able to properly interpret your perceptions with clarity. We need to have energy running through our entire energetic system and body to support the opening of healthy channels of perception. Once the third eye is activated, the information that starts coming through may seem disturbing, unfamiliar, or unusual to your mind. Having plenty of energy and being grounded will allow us to expand into the perception dimension. It will help us open and stay away from the negative symptoms of the opening of the third eye, like feeling confused or disoriented. Now that the third eye is open, let's cover some ways you can support the opening of your third eye. Here are some practices that will give your intuitive energy center a boost: The main function of the third eye is intuition. You would love to apply for a mortgage and move into that cute new condo complex in your neighborhood, so you're keen for a promotion from associate manager to manager. You take extra care to speak slowly and authoritatively about last month's customer numbers. When your boss gives you the brief for the new project you'll be working on, you show understanding by making strong eye contact, taking notes, and nodding thoughtfully. At lunch, you pop out to the local diner to meet with a friend who works nearby. Her father has been terminally ill for a number of months, and she's starting to realize she and her siblings are not up to the task of caring for him, but she's having a hard time finding a caregiver she trusts. You show empathy by sharing that you understand her feelings of frustration and exhaustion and by noting how difficult it must be to hold down a full-time job while spending every weekend looking after her dad and searching for a good caregiver. On the way home, you nearly miss your regular bus, but you wave frantically at the driver and make eye contact, then gesture with open hands in the hope your silent appeal will make her take pity on you. She rolls her eyes but stops the bus. The doors open and you jump in. You catch the eye of the guy standing next to you, and you both smile--you with relief, him with understanding. Another slice might be cultural upbringing. Yet other slices might be gender differences in other relevant personality traits or the person's experiences in the immediate social context.

So one way to approach the controversy is to figure out which theoretical perspectives account for which pieces of the total pie, not whether the entire pie belongs to evolution, culture, or any other single source. If you want to explore these topics at a deeper level, there is another, more ambitious approach. Rather than think about culture or evolution as gobbling up separate pieces of the pie, we can figure out how different factors interact to shape our relationship lives. As just one example, women more than men may react negatively to emotional infidelity because of an evolved mating strategy, but that strategy guides women's behavior only to the extent that they organize their lifestyle around childbearing. Cultural influences such as changing norms and technology make it increasingly possible for women to pursue other goals . This and many similar examples illustrate a key point: Whatever evolutionary mechanisms we're born with do not govern our behavior in simple, rigid ways. Rather, they are a set of sensitivities and tendencies that respond flexibly to what's happening in the person's life right now, not 3 million years ago, when they might have first been adaptive. SECTION REVIEW Gender Differences in Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors You need to exercise this. The light of the moon resembles the light in your intuitive center, so rest under the light of the moon and reflect. Learn to be silent and hear the wisdom of your third eye. Learn to listen. The third eye's voice is a whisper. Strengthen the third eye and your throat chakra's energy. They are both anchors to unlock the energy of the third eye in balanced and powerful ways. Practice divination. Practice visualizing. Focus and see the in-between space things. WHO DO YOU TALK TO? Now take a moment to think about your average day and your daily interactions.

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