Tired of Being Sick and Tired

A productive disagreement is something you'll look forward to rather than dread. It's one that leads to a mutually beneficial outcome. A productive disagreement yields fruit: the fruit of security, by removing a threat, reducing a risk, resulting in a deal, or concluding with a decision; We've all had good fights, clashes, disagreements--whatever you want to call them--that ended in mutual improvement rather than mutual destruction. They often surprise us, because we didn't expect them to lead to something fruitful. Learning how to increase the chances of this happy surprise is the art we are talking about when we talk about productive disagreement. This perspective will take time to unfold. But like the neighbor said, it's not a question of wishing for more or fewer disagreements directly, because we don't actually have a choice in the matter. Assuming we're stuck with each other, how can we best get along? Here's why this is really a sign from Baby Jesus: The song that I credit as my revelation is a song I don't even remember adding to any of my playlists on Spotify. It's a song that I probably would have skipped on any other train ride, but that day I let Lovely Day --the Jill Scott version-- be great inside my headphones. I immediately stopped crying. I turned my volume up as loud as it could go and then stuffed my earbuds a little further in my ears. Jill started to hum. The beat drops. The bass got louder. The supply of water for my tears paused as if a barricade had just appeared before them. My mind was now an eerie kind of calm. Now, the song pops up in my playlist whenever I need it. Recall a scenario where you were discussing why your country performs poorly economically.

When you enumerated the causes for the low performance, you probably mentioned governmental money mismanagement, bad leadership, and greedy banks as influencers of a low-performing economy. We call this kind of thinking linear or straight-line thinking. In this kind of thinking, A causes B, and causality works only one way. This is the cause--say, bad governmental money management--and this is the result--say, an underperforming economy. Also, linear thinking fails to capture the interrelationship between different causes and looks at them independently. The antidote for linear thinking, Richmond says, is closed-loop thinking, which by any means is not closed-minded thinking. In systems thinking, quantitative doesn't equal measurable. Many elements of a system are hard or impossible to measure. We call them soft variables. In the western world, the most common reason is that our parents divorced as we were growing up. They perhaps had misunderstandings, quarrels and maybe even fights. They were more concerned with their own relationship and, as such, didn't have time to give proper preparation and instruction for the road called LIFE to us in our formative years. In other words, they did not have the time, energy, and concentration to teach us how to catch a fish. In the teaching of Jesus Christ, if you give somebody a fish you will feed him for one meal and he will be hungry again tomorrow; There is a nice word in Hungarian which is fitting for the right instructions for life. It is UTRAVALO. In most cases our mother puts it in our backpack or in our bag. It loosely translates as provisions, but especially from parents. In the case of having divorced parents we receive our daily meals, but nobody gives us provisions for the road called LIFE. He knew I was disconnected from my mother, but he was not aware that I had caught her `cheating' on him, as I thought at the time--nor did he know how that episode had impacted me.

I truly felt abnormal, because my friends and everybody else seemed to be living in happy families. We were different. All other mothers stayed at home with their children. Only my mother lived in another home. My father didn't understand my frustration, my angst, or my misery--and how could he? I had never shared it with him. I often felt guilty. I knew he was suffering too, raising five kids as a single parent. He loved me dearly and I knew how much he cared for my well-being. In this way one's whole sense of safety and stability becomes weakened. For this reason, if you have students with an insecure attachment from neglect, abuse, or traumatic separation; Attachment theory and a schema to assist you in differentiating between secure versus insecure attachment are presented in article 3, along with classroom activities to nurture The Eight Essentials of Healthy Attachment. These will help the whole class feel safer, sound, solid, and ready to learn--benefitting everyone. All of us will experience one or more shocking tragedies during our lifetime. This is an inescapable fact. The imprint on infants and young children, however, alters the anatomy and physiology of their brain and autonomic nervous system. This is especially true when the circumstances have interfered with the natural bonding and attachment process because this disruption halts (or drastically delays) the myelination--the insulating sheath around nerve fibers--of the ventral vagal branch of the parasympathetic nervous system, ultimately responsible for learning to self-soothe and, later, self-regulate. You will learn more about the peripheral nervous system and triune brain theory in the next article, to help you sense what zone of the threat response on a stress continuum you and a particular student may be experiencing at any given moment. Before we delve into stress physiology and the importance of developing interoceptive skills, let us take a quick look at the original and limited understanding of trauma and its causes. Your mind and body are going to believe all of those wonderful, positive and beautiful things that you have been feeding it, so now your body is speaking a more positive language without you even realizing it.

People will begin to ask why you are glowing or assuming that you have a new love or a new job because the joy will be all over you and your energy has changed. The same way that we can do ourselves harm with the way that we live and eat can also do our body some extremely good, which can create positive outcomes towards our steps in healing. With the power of your mind, you are able to convince your body that it has the ability to prevent and heal illness and diseases. The next step is that you actually believe in what you are telling your body, the power of belief is very real. By being and thinking positive, you can create the outcome that you actually want, the last thing that you want to do is, to sit and wait for someone or something to come and give you an opportunity, you must have the type of mindset that will go out and create opportunities for yourself. Eventually, all of those things that you have thought about will start to come to pass and become a reality, as long as you continue to believe. Once you begin to view and think of yourself in a different way, this is when you will start to see different types of people, positive results and great outcomes in your life. Make it a habit to confirm positive qualities about yourself, say them out loud, and you can even add this in with your morning stretching routine every day. The things that you genuinely believe about yourself can actually predict a positive outcome for you and your future. This is how people avoid voicing their opinions in a way that comes across as insensitive so that you can navigate through your social life and interactions in your career with ease. Over time, we need to learn different kinds of verbiage to communicate in a way that we will be understood, which means our entire speech patterns will undergo changes. This might sound contradictory to what I said before about not needing to change as a person, so I will clarify. I am not talking about changing your entire personality or belief system. You can present the exact same personality and belief system that you always have, but word them in a different way to match the socially acceptable vocabulary of the time. Another way that changing your brain is important to your success is that you will continue to need to learn new skills. Not only that, but what you have already learned to evolve over time. Think about how when you were learning certain concepts in school, such as algebra, it was sometimes difficult for your parents to help you because the way you are being expected to learn it is different from the way it was taught to them back when they were your age. There is also the fact that there are many jobs that are not in demand or even do not exist anymore because technology has evolved past the point where they are necessary, or at least in the way that they were operated at the time. This means those who were once in those career fields will need to adjust to this change and move on to a field that is currently more palatable. The art of productive disagreement has all kinds of urgent practical applications these days.

Our world is becoming increasingly polarized, and even the most chill Zen masters have a limit. The rest of this article will walk you through the how of productive disagreement with eight conversational habits and things to try that will help you turn frustrating battles into pleasant and productive exchanges. I want to emphasize just how much this change will impact your day-to-day life by telling you about three superpowers you will acquire by practicing this art. Disagreements won't be frustrating. They'll feel less like dead ends and more like doorways into unexplored territory. You'll learn to identify ways to keep a dialogue open when it seems like you've run out of viable options for moving forward. You'll end up having fewer repetitive, frustrating disagreements, not because you're avoiding them or squashing them but because you are able to end the cycles that keep sending the same disagreements back into your life over and over again. You'll learn to pull up disagreements with their roots intact. The world will become bigger, because you won't be cut off from all the interesting conversations, ideas, people, and opportunities that exist on the other side of disagreements. Whenever I need to feel my mom and be reminded of the love we share. And I still get chills when I hear it. My little baby-thug tears appear. I always think back to that moment when my mother became my personal angel. I've always believed it's the moment she got her wings. Last year, me and my best friend went to Oprah's The Life You Want Weekend. Our one and only goal was to be in the building with Mama O. And maybe we wanted to be inspired. We got there super early. The kinda early that allows for hundreds of selfies in an empty stadium. These can be concepts like resilience, courage, motivation, and others.