Cultural Influences

If you have things to find out, mix up your questions with tidbits or insights to put your interviewee at ease. If Someone's Upset, Acknowledge Their Feelings Do you know someone who tends to fly off the handle and get upset quickly ? Although it can seem counterintuitive, instead of immediately trying to soothe them, try meeting them where they are before gently guiding them to calm down. This is called pacing and leading. How is it, then, that we can be satisfied with the partner we're with? As you'll remember from our discussion of cognitive dissonance theory (article 6), after a person has made a choice between alternatives that are similar in attractiveness, the nagging doubt that she made the wrong choice creates an uncomfortable feeling of dissonance. To reduce dissonance, people often exaggerate the positive qualities of the alternative they chose and, at the same time, exaggerate the negative qualities of the alternative they did not choose. Furthermore, to keep dissonance of being committed to one person low, people who are highly satisfied in their relationships tend to view other potentially appealing prospects as less attractive than less satisfied people and single people do (Cole et al. In a similar manner, people show a powerful tendency--at least early in a relationship--to construct idealized perceptions of their romantic partners that highlight their positive qualities and downplay their faults. These idealized perceptions are called positive illusions (Murray et al. They are not full-blown illusions in the sense that partners are completely blind to the truth about each other's virtues and faults. Rather, they are illusions in the sense that individuals interpret facts about their partners in a more benevolent fashion than other people would (Gagne & Lydon, 2004). Positive illusions Idealized perceptions of romantic partners that highlight their positive qualities and downplay their faults. You will always feel ecstatic. You stop reacting to the normal pains and pleasures of life. You can develop a deep connection with your soul. You will have the ability to become a source of joy for yourself and others. Feelings of distress and misery will not be able to touch you.

However, the path to activate the crown chakra is unknown. There are several ways to activate the remaining six chakras in your body through meditation. But, there is no specific path to activate the seventh chakra. Only after your third eye has become awakened and you move on the path of devotion, your seventh chakra can get activated. The third eye chakra is the most important chakra in the body that is the key to opening the seventh chakra. First you keep pace with them by acknowledging what they're feeling and fully empathizing. Then, you lead them toward a more positive emotion such as calm, acceptance, or hope. Recently, my client Gabriela shared the following story: The other day my partner came home agitated. He flung off his coat and announced that a potential new customer chose a competitor instead. After all the time I put in giving them free advice, I can't believe they'd go with someone else. What do you think Gabriela could have said next, using pacing and leading? And what would you do in the same situation? You could have said, in a cheerful voice and with a big smile, Don't be upset, honey. There are other clients around the corner. Consider some common positive illusions. People judge their partner's faults to be less important than outside observers judge them to be (Murray & Holmes, 1993, 1999). They focus on the bright side of their partner's faults. For example, a woman might write that although her boyfriend got upset easily, that behavior reflected his exceptionally passionate and vivacious personality. People offer yes, but interpretations of their partner's faults--that is, they recognize their partner's faults but focus on the positive repercussions.

For example, a man might write that, yes, his fiancee does not help with household chores, but at least that gives her more time to pursue her yoga career, which is probably more important. As another example, people perceive their partner's faults as affecting the relationship less than the partner's many positive qualities (Neff & Karney, 2003). You might be asking, Is it really such a good idea to put our lovers up on a pedestal? Aren't we setting ourselves up for crushing disappointment when our partners inevitably fail to live up to our idealized perceptions of them? The answer hinges on just how removed from reality a positive illusion is (Neff & Karney, 2005). It is also the chakra that will help you in getting past the normal obstructions in life. You can break the limitations of life by activating your third eye chakra. You can develop psychic abilities and regulate the first five chakras in your body if the third eye chakra is active. These six chakras are the energy junctions in your body. The kind of chakra dominant in your life will dictate the way of your life. However, you have the power to decide the way your life will become. By activating the third eye chakra, you can regulate the energy flow in all the other chakras below it. You will be able to gain active control of your life. You will drive your life in place of getting driven by it . There are a lot of misconceptions about the third eye chakra. Just wait and see. But acknowledging and empathizing with someone's feelings tends to work better than trying to change these emotions. When people are upset, they need to feel heard before they can they move toward a more positive place. Instead, in a sympathetic tone, you could say, Oh no, that's too bad. I know how much work you put into winning that account.

I really feel for you. To that he responds, Yeah, think about all those late evenings I worked researching the company and all their products and making sure that our offer was a fit with where they're currently at. Jeez, I even missed Lukas's school recital because I didn't want to be a no-show at their product reception. What a complete waste of time. As you watch your partner stomp around the room, you encourage him to keep talking about how he feels. If people are projecting positive qualities onto their partners that they simply don't have, then they likely are setting themselves up for disappointment (Miller, 1997). On the other hand, if people are aware of their partner's positive and negative qualities but interpret them positively, such illusions can benefit the relationship. Sandra Murray and her colleagues have shown that people who idealize their romantic partners are more satisfied and feel stronger love and trust (Murray & Holmes, 1993, 1997; Murray et al. Neff & Karney, 2002). In one study (Murray et al. Positive illusion was measured by the participants' tendency to overestimate their partner's positive qualities and underestimate their faults, compared with the partner's ratings of him- or herself. The more participants idealized their romantic partners, the more satisfied they were in the relationship. By idealizing our partner, we are likely to view his or her qualities and behaviors as all the more rewarding--so much so, in fact, that it seems inconceivable that someone else out there could provide us with the same rewards. Although perhaps illusory, such perceptions have the beneficial consequence of strengthening commitment. People believe that by activating the third eye chakra, you can gain supernatural powers. There is no doubt that an active third eye chakra does give you an exceptional level of perception; It is the power to see inward. You become aware of yourself. Your consciousness reaches new heights.

It is a chakra that unlocks your potential to gain new abilities in life and opens the portal to new dimensions. One method that a lot of people like to work with to clear out their chakras includes essential oils. These oils are so amazing for the whole body, and since they are all natural and there are so many different kinds, you are going to be amazed at how well they work and how many different ailments they are able to help you out with. If you have ever been curious about working with your chakras, it is time to bring in some different essential oils. There are a few different methods that you are able to work with when it comes to using the essential oils. I'm really sorry. You so deserved to win that account. What happens next? Yeah, I'm really disappointed, he says. This account would have been a game-changer for the company and really fun to work on--we definitely could have helped them get back to being market leader. He starts to speak a little more slowly and quietly, and you can see he's beginning to calm down. As for what happens next, well, I guess there are a few other accounts in the pipeline. I thought we had this in the bag. It's shaken me a bit, but I guess what we can do at the office is sit down and analyze why we didn't get it. I'm on decent terms with their head of purchasing, so maybe I can give him a call so we can learn what went wrong. Furthermore, these positive perceptions also can motivate people to reach for the ideal with which they are perceived and thus grow and develop in ways that are appreciated by their partners. When Murray and colleagues (1996) followed couples over time, they found that in more satisfied relationships, the partners came to perceive themselves more as they initially were idealized to be. This may partly reflect the operation of self-fulfilling prophecies, which we discussed in articles 3 and 11. When people hold expectations of us, we often come to act in a way that confirms those expectations. Such findings led Murray and colleagues to suggest that love can be more prescient than blind.