Silence Is Golden

It is unfair, and by the time this manner occurs in the manipulated person, the game is over. Getting out of this crap is hard. You have to have enormous willpower and find that personal pride in us that seems to have been lost. These cases often result in physical abuse for the person trying to get out. Your friends have lives too. They are continuing to care for their loved ones just like you are. Your friends may not understand your recovery process. If you desire their company, invite them to your home. Plan a simple coffee time by sending out written invitations to your close friends stating a specific afternoon date and time. Tell them you miss their company and friendship. It takes a friend to be a friend. Life is full of new friends and old friends, as well as acquaintances and coworkers. Isolation leads to depression. Depression slows our recovery, among other things. You want your toxic burden to be low so that your detoxification organs can manage the toxins properly. If your toxic burden is too high, your systems can get overwhelmed, leading to chronic inflammation, dysfunction and disease. The Bucket Analogy Imagine your body as an empty bucket starting at the time you were born. As you're exposed to toxins in everyday life, drops of water go into the bucket. If your bucket fills up too quickly, it will overflow, causing health problems.

Minimize the amount of water that goes into your bucket . While short periods of stress can be beneficial, chronic stress wreaks havoc on your body. Stress hormones, like cortisol and adrenaline, are meant to be used if there is an immediate threat to your physical safety. They give you quick energy to escape imminent danger, but if they're chronically elevated, they cause cellular inflammation, insulin resistance, weight gain, decreased secretory IgA in your gut (which protects your gut barrier) and weakened immune function. Our house in Singapore had mosaic tiles and a circular swooping staircase. I used to sit and get deep into the patterns within each one-inch square to see all the details of color within it. I often went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet, and fell asleep sucking two of my fingers. Sometimes I locked myself in without understanding what I was doing, and the houseman had to come get me out. I Asked Questions Over and Over My mother used to gesture with her hand as if I were a gramophone record player, on and on, never stopping. I often wondered why she did this, but as I grew older and received my diagnosis, it all made sense. I talked nonstop and looped my speech, asking questions and wanting to know the why and what of things all the time. Round and round I went, like a gramophone record. I tend to process things out loud, not internally like many others. Accepting where you are and then moving on Look up and imagine a colorful kite flying in the sky on a windy day. Blue sky, a few wisps of clouds, everything is peaceful and quiet, but suddenly a wind gust captures the kite. The kite twists out of control and crashes to the ground. The emotional lives of people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) look much like kites. At times, they soar high, but like a kite in a strong wind, they easily spin out of control and crash.

In this article, we tell you how to identify emotions and explore some myths about what they mean. After all, acknowledging and labeling emotions is the first step in quelling them. We present a few specific techniques you can use to contain and quell emotional storms. These skills will increase your ability to tolerate distress, which is a core challenge for many people who have BPD. Not sexual abuse, I don't mean that. But many times, people who have come to be subjected to these levels are physically beaten. The best thing to do if you find yourself in such a situation is to report everything to a friend or the police. It won't be an easy choice. Many people, just because they get manipulated, do not understand the seriousness of the situation and think that with time it will improve. But it will never be better. Indeed, in most cases, not to say always, the situation gets worse. The biggest problem is that the manipulated person thinks the other loves them and doesn't do it out of malice. Now, if you never found yourself in this situation, it is hard to understand this concept because you will not believe it is possible. I hope for you that you never get into such a situation. Join a article club, a hobby club, a knitting group, a senior center, a health and fitness center, a support group, a singles group--anything you feel comfortable being a part of in order to meet new people and have fun. My spouse and family don't understand me. Why can't they understand what I'm going through? Your family has experienced stroke too, but in a different way. They have taken on the responsibilities that you once had in addition to their own. It is extremely difficult to lose family placement.

If you're a wife and mother, you want to continue in that role and not be relegated to the role of a child. If you are a husband and father, you likely want to be the protector and provide for your family. Whatever role you had, whether it was outside employment, childcare, household duties, volunteer groups you belonged to, or other duties, you want to continue playing this part. Your family wants you to continue in your very important role too. Important skin healing nutrients, like vitamin C and zinc, are also depleted by chronic stress. Your body can't tell the difference between real stress--like running from a bear--and perceived stress--like running late for work. So just thinking that you're under stress has the same hormonal effect as running away from a bear. Oxidative stress Like inflammation, oxidative stress underlies many chronic diseases, including: heart disease, type 2 diabetes, autoimmune disorders and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease( 25 - 29 ) . People with acne have higher levels of oxidative stress markers compared to healthy controls( 30 , 31 ) . What is oxidative stress? It refers to an imbalance between the amount of free radicals in your body and the amount of antioxidants that are available to neutralize them. Free radicals are generated as a normal byproduct of metabolism in your cells. They're missing an electron, so they travel throughout your system to find cells that they can scavenge electrons from. I was also clumsy--my mother would not allow me to wash dishes unless my brother helped me, because things slipped out of my hands and broke. It's funny that my mother thought of me as clumsy, because I thrived in dance classes. I later joined two of the most prestigious dance schools of my generation--Elmhurst Ballet School and the Royal Ballet School. I had good spatial relationships with other bodies on a team, such as my netball team (of which I was captain), but I was terrible at grass hockey and got hit in the face many times. I did not have the same style of reflex required to play that game. My parents always partnered me up with school friends.

They had friends come to my house for birthdays and teach me activities like French skipping or two ball against the wall. These friends also went with me to the local youth group, church choir, and bell-ringing practice. My Mother Taught Me Etiquette My mother taught me etiquette, and my father taught me practical life skills, like opening a savings account, budgeting, shopping, making lists, and developing organizational skills. As with the other strategies we give you in this article, we recommend that people with BPD work with a mental health professional to carry them out. Putting a Name Tag on Feelings Many people have trouble identifying and owning up to their feelings. However, not noticing your emotional state at every moment is perfectly normal. Most of the time you don't actively think about how you feel unless you're extremely sad, angry, fearful, or happy. For example, has anyone ever said to you, Why are you in a bad mood today? Then a few minutes later, you realize you actually have been feeling irritable and a bit crabby (not that you'd admit it). Even so, your response wasn't a lie or an attempt to hide your feelings. You automatically denied the feeling because you weren't consciously aware of your bad mood. Understanding the thought-feeling connection But that's what happens after being manipulated to that point. TYPES OF EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION In addition to all the techniques I mentioned for you in the previous article, there are several more subtle manipulations. Unfortunately, we can encounter these types of manipulation more or less in all our days. The main techniques are: These are the main ones we can find, but there would be many others.