The Cycle of Theory and Research in Social Psychology

Holding the other person responsible is a protective response that says, I have been victimized by you. If you focus on yourself and take responsibility for the way you feel, there's a greater chance of resolving an issue. Instead of saying, You made me angry, tell your spouse, You acted in this way and I felt angry because of the way you behaved. As your own anger begins to escalate, use the interruption approach on yourself. Earlier, we identified the three basic causes of anger as fear, hurt and frustration. Anger is the secondary response to any of these three emotions. If anger is a problem for you, keep a 3x5 card with you with the word Stop! On the other side print the following three questions: In these cases, the prosocial video games primed prosocial thoughts and behavioral scripts, which remained accessible in people's minds and influenced their behavior when they interacted with others later on. If only the sales of prosocial video games were higher than those of their more violent counterparts. SECTION REVIEW The Basic Motives for Helping Prosocial behavior is an action by an individual that benefits another. Genetic Influences People may be helpful because prosocial behavior might have been generally adaptive in the history of our species. Although the propensity for helping is especially strong among close kin, it is not restricted to them. Prosocial emotions contribute to helping. Norms of reciprocity contribute to prosocial behavior, even among strangers. Research with twins, toddlers, and nonhuman animals points to an inherited biological basis of prosocial behavior. These types of lies include telling a child that the Tooth Fairy will be coming to get a child's tooth from under their pillow, when in reality it is the parents who leave money under the child's pillow in exchange for their tooth. Another form of lying, exaggeration, is often used by people during story-telling in order to make something seem much greater or better than it really is.

Men often exaggerate about the size of fish that they catch on their fishing trips, because people enjoy big fish stories better than they enjoy stories of someone catching a small fish. Telling a fable or calling someone a name in sarcasm that is contrary to the truth can be called a jocose lie. An example of this would be if someone teased a very tall man by calling him shorty. Everyone understands that it is not the truth, but it is used in good nature and not meant to be harmful. A person can also tell a contextual lie by using sarcasm while they are offended, which shows the other person that they are not really serious about the answer. If a person is not cheating, but their partner accuses them of cheating anyways, they might say something in a sarcastic fashion like Yeah, sure, I cheated on you while I was at the grocery store buying milk. There are lies that are committed in an environment that may affect the law and legal matters as well. Noble lies can be lies that are told by authority figures in order to maintain safety and adherence to rules or laws. Am I experiencing hurt right now? Am I afraid? Am I frustrated over something? The minute you begin to experience your anger rising, take out the card, read the word Stop! Read and respond to the three questions. Slowing down your anger response and identifying the cause will help you resolve the issue. You can still assume responsibility for choosing to respond in a way that will help defuse the other person rather than fuel the interchange. Another positive step is to use neutral expressions such as, I'm getting angry; I'm losing control; We're starting to fight; Learned Behavior Parents greatly influence prosocial behavior in children.

Children learn prosocial behavior in stages: to get things (such as gold stars), for social rewards, and to satisfy internal moral values. Media can encourage prosocial behavior by making helping-related thoughts more accessible. Does Altruism Exist? Learning Outcomes Explain the social exchange theory perspective on helping. Defend the idea that people can have truly altruistic motives. In an episode of the popular 1990s television show Friends, the good-hearted Phoebe and her struggling actor friend Joey debate whether it is possible to engage in truly altruistic behavior (Curtis & Jensen, 1998). Phoebe claims that she constantly acts for the benefit of others. A teacher or police officer may tell a harmless lie to a child in order to convince the child to behave in a manner that is more socially acceptable. If a plaintiff or defendant lies while they are in a court hearing, he or she can be charged with the crime of committing perjury on the stand and can face stiff consequences for doing so. A plaintiff, defendant, or a suspect may choose to use misleading facts or half-truths in order to prevent getting in trouble for perjury but still avoid confession of a crime or admitting being an accomplice to a crime. Sometimes deception is a necessity in order to protect someone's safety. An emergency lie is one that is told in order to protect someone else. Children are advised not to tell strangers or others that come to the door that they may be home alone. This is to protect them from someone breaking in or taking advantage of the child while there is an absence of a parent at home. Lies of omission are another form of dishonesty wherein the liar doesn't answer direct questions or doesn't divulge information, and omission is often done so that the person doesn't have to lie. This is the case when a person knows that lying is wrong or doesn't want to face the consequences of lying, but who is also afraid to be completely honest for fear of being punished. Companies and salesmen also use forms of lying while they are trying to pitch their products. Upon hearing one of these statements, the other person could say, Thank you for telling me. What can I do right now that would help?

Both of you need to make a commitment not to raise your voices or yell and not to act out your anger. It's called suspending the anger. Agree to return to the issue at a time of less conflict. Most couples are not used to taking the time to admit and scrutinize their anger and then handle it. The interruption period could be an opportune time for you to focus on the cause of your anger. Plan a Venting Session Some couples have found it beneficial to schedule and structure anger ventilation sessions. Why would anyone want to plan to air their anger? But when Joey catches Phoebe admitting that it makes her feel good to put smiles on other people's faces, it highlights a seemingly selfish side to Phoebe's benevolence. If helping makes us feel good or enhances our self-esteem, we could argue that it benefits us as well as the recipient of the help. Is Joey right? Recall the distinction we made earlier between egoistic and altruistic motivations for helping. Is every act of helping inherently egoistic in some way? Or is true altruism possible? Fortunately, we don't have to rely on sitcoms to answer this question. Researchers have developed theories and carried out studies to try to differentiate selfish from selfless acts of helping. Social Exchange Theory: Helping to Benefit the Self Helping others can bring material benefits. Advertising that their own cola drink is better than all other cola drinks on the market is a form of lying called puffery to improve how to the quality of their product sounds to consumers. Lying in trade is often a form of lying that is used when a company claims that a product cures a disease or causes weight loss when there is not enough documented proof to show the consumer protection agencies and consumers that it is true 100% of the time.

What We are Taught About Lying We often look at people who are being dishonest as being a threat to us, or we label them as `bad' people. This is because we grow up learning that lying is `bad' from our parents, teachers and other adults that are trying to teach us to have morals and values. Quite often, people who lie compulsively may be doing so because they have learned to lie as a protective measure, particularly if they have been punished or neglected for lying as a child. Children can learn to lie also if they don't trust the adults around them. They may be punished even when they tell the truth, which can result in a distorted view of the world or distorted morals and values later in life. So, when is it that we should be concerned about lying? Anything done in excess or done with the intentions to harm another person should be cause for concern. Actually, a planned session will allow both individuals a greater sense of control. If the subject is so intense and the anger you feel needs to be expressed, why not be in charge of it? Some individuals have difficulty bringing up some issues unless they are angry. If a ventilation session has been planned, the couple can also exercise more control in the way the anger is expressed. In his article Love Is Never Enough, Aaron Beck proposes several guidelines to make such sessions effective: The purpose of these sessions is to stay in control, to release and reduce anger, and to resolve the issues. When you stay in control in this way, your spouse has the opportunity to discover the inappropriateness of his or her response and perhaps to follow your example. Assess Your Emotional State Some people like to use a stress reduction card--a small square that is sensitive to heat and moisture. You place your thumb on the square for 10 seconds and your level of stress will turn the square either black, red, green or blue, depending upon how tense or excited you are. Strong reciprocity norms all but guarantee that giving a little help to others might mean that you can count on them for help down the road. A social exchange theory approach to helping focuses on such egoistic motivations for helping.