Sunday 9 August 2020

I saw the light

Success only comes from the willingness to never stop trying. Hold for 20 seconds, then release briefly, and repeat the pressure twice more. Still supporting your right foot, find the point just below the nail on the upper side of your second toe. Using the thumb and forefinger of your right hand, gently squeeze the toe, applying pressure to this point. Hold for 20 seconds, release briefly, and repeat the pressure twice more. Finally, the results with tryptophan were inconclusive, although anecdotal evidence suggests that taking supplements of this amino acid may be of help. Herbal remedies need a little more explanation. Herbal remedies Of the herbs that have been rigorously tested, only valerian root has come close to standing up to scrutiny as a sleep treatment (see box, below for a valerian bedtime drink). Historically, though, many herbs have been put forward as treatments to help combat sleeplessness. I've listed these below, but note that these haven't been rigorously tested for their sleep-promoting qualities. Dweck shows that the differences between the two groups (fixed and growth) are remarkabl on just about every measure. Those people who have a `fixed' mindset believe that character, intelligence, talent and ability are set and won't change in significant ways, and assume that success is a result of inherent intelligence. On the other hand, a `growth' mindset thrives on challenges. Failure is not seen as evidence of a lack of intelligence but as an opportunity to learn, develop new skills and grow. The following table provides some examples of the difference between fixed and growth mindsets. Fixed Growth I've always been hopeless at maths . Perhaps if I get some coaching and dedicate a little more effort, I can improve . I never stood a chance in that interview .

I'm gutted I missed the job, but I'll contact the panel chair to find out where I can improve . Take it from perfectionist OCD mommy here. Ironically, at other times, the brave decision is to actually pull back. We parents are bombarded by therapists of every kind - well-educated, well-intentioned people who sincerely want to help our kids be the best they can be. And, of course, each and every specialist feels that her arena is the most important. But occupational therapy (OT), speech therapy, play therapy, psychology, applied behavior analysis (ABA), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), oxygen chambers, nutritional changes, social skills groups, animal therapy, music therapy, vision therapy, listening therapy, and a cadre of academic tutors cannot all feasibly be most important. One of the most common questions I'm asked by other parents is which service is the most important, and which can be dropped from the overstressed kid, schedule, pocketarticle, and family life? The honest answer is that there is no answer. I have found that at various times, OT took precedence for one child while talk therapy (with a psychologist) was most important for another. Like a triage team on perpetual duty, we Asper-parents face a lifetime of perpetual choices between which needs are the most pronounced at present, and which can be put off for a while. Women know that from the moment a pregnancy is announced, everyone has an opinion about something - including strangers on the street. Willingness, like courage, originates from the three-pound (or so) lump of corrugated flesh that we call our brain. We have been given a brain; Willingness and repetition work hand in hand to create the full expression of the pose you wish to succeed in. But we must, at the same time, pause and not get too carried away with ourselves. Our commitment can also become food for our ego. We must learn to nurture our discipline so as to not let it mutate into an uncontrollable desire. We must learn and understand the difference between desire and discipline. Maybe the best way to learn this is through our own journeys and experience. So maybe there should be some desire or else how can one overcome something they know nothing about?

Maybe the path to discipline is through the painful path of desire? GADGETS, GIZMOS AND THE WORLD WIDE WEB For most of the life of sleep medicine, gadgets and gizmos have been the province of research laboratories and sleep centres (see pp. Now, versions of these technologies are available for us to download or to buy and use in the home. Devices are broadly those that track your sleep (trackers), help you get to sleep (mollifiers) and wake you up (grizzlies). Internet websites can provide a personalized sleep service to help you to monitor your sleep and find advice that's unique to your own sleep situation. SLEEP THERAPY COOL VALERIAN ROOT INFUSION Use the following recipe to make a valerian root infusion. However, please check with a qualified herbalist that the herb is not contraindicated for you first. Have one cup of the infusion as part of your pre-sleep routine every night for up to six weeks. I can't help it. I've always had a really short fuse . I can keep my cool in certain circumstances; I'm sure I can learn strategies to do this more often. It's hopeless. What's the point? That certainly didn't go as planned. Let's sit down and learn from our mistakes so it doesn't happen again . Think about famous athletes hitting rock bottom after retirement, the countless examples of people winning the lottery and being broke only a few years later, or the cases of relapsing substance abuse.

These are all examples of people who don't grow and evolve their identity as the climate changes around them. The same is true in the world of autism/Asperger's. What is miraculously potent for one child may be completely ineffective for another, and conversations about said intervention will go on ad nauseam. The point is that there is no right answer. There is each parent's right answer, right now. It takes great courage to honor that place of trusting your gut, and this really must be respected as one of the few ways we Asper-parents have any sense of control. And please don't hide those big, fat feelings from your Asperkids, lest they blame themselves. Admit that even moms, dads, and teachers don't have all the answers. What we must have, though, is love and acceptance big enough for both of us, adult and child. Once someone becomes a parent, her life is no longer her own entirely. But for most folks, there are breaks - getaways with friends, date nights with a spouse, maybe just dinner at a neighborhood pub. Thus, I am not going to tell you to not desire and to not crave advanced poses. After thinking about it, I have realised that I actually encourage it. This is our greatest learning tool. We learn more about ourselves and the philosophy of yoga while battling with desire and discipline than we will ever learn from reading a article or from a `wise' yoga teacher. So `desire' away. Experience desire and learn from it as have I and have all the other teachers who have advanced in their practice. But consider some words of wisdom as well. A very wise man once said that the three greatest treasures for man are simplicity, patience and compassion. No, that wise man was not me, but Lao Tzu.

In the Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu continues, Simple in actions and thoughts, you return to the source of being. Break for two weeks, then resume for up to another six weeks if necessary. Crush 1 tsp of valerian root in a pestle and mortar and soak it in one cup of cool, filtered water for up to 24 hours. Strain the infusion and drink cold. These range from those that are essentially simple diaries, recording the time you go to sleep and wake up, and asking for information about the quality of your sleep; Many trackers are available as straightforward smartphone apps, and many are free to download. Inevitably, some are more useful than others, but generally I recommend those that disconnect your phone from the network and shut down your connection to your Wi-Fi during the night. In this way you can make sure that you won't be disturbed by late-night communications, but you can still use all the features of the app. Somewhere between these simple apps and the Zeo lie trackers that measure your movement during sleep and match that to the phases of sleep. An accelerometer built into the app means that, once downloaded, the app allows your smartphone to monitor how much you're moving about during the night and also works out when, once you've had your sleep quota, you're in the lightest phase of sleep so that you can wake feeling most refreshed. If you don't have a smartphone, you can find similar devices that you wear on your wrist. If you believe you're just a [insert label], it's highly likely that's all you ever will be. Stepping into your new identity isn't about severing all ties with who you were in the past or turning your back on who you've been. It's your previous experience that shapes who you are now and the path you've found yourself on. Ignoring that does disservice to your present -- it's like cutting off a limb and pretending nothing happened. Your focus is not on developing a brand new identity, but expanding your identity. Say `thank you' to who you've been and what it's taught you as you welcome in the new you. Be present to this expanding identity and all its facets, notice the doubts as they arise and step into a growth mindset to expand what is possible for you. It's time to surprise even yourself. Fear -- can it be your friend?

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