How will I cope if I don't get a second date?

People need to get off and eat dinner at some point. I have found it helpful to deliberately limit the amount of time you devote to the NHT. There's nothing wrong with deciding, I'll make some calls about job interviews for an hour, then I'll go shoot hoops for ten minutes. Or I'll call the guy to tell him our one date didn't work, and I'll talk to him on the phone for no more than fifteen minutes. It is not clear why a lot of us who take on in positive thinking experience these perks. One hypothesis is that, if you have a positive approach allows you to deal with stressful condition well. This minimizes the dangerous effects of stress on health and our body in general. Also, it is believed that optimistic and positive individuals are like to have a healthy lifestyle. Also, they get physical activity, follow a healthy diet, and don't drink alcohol and don't smoke. Knowing Negative Thinking Are you not sure if you have negative or positive self-talk? Some common types of off-putting self-talk take account of: Filtering: You exaggerate the negative factors of a condition and sift out the positive ones. Like for instance, you do well at the office. With that he is greeted by a fellow male and they swap ego stances. Now there are two of them: the salesman knows even less than the customer, except for the price tag and the urge to get it off his hands. To confirm their mutual empathy the conversation opens midstream and continues as casually as the potential buyer's John Wayne-type entrance. Thinking thank God for that, he responds, `Yeah,' as if he already knew, rubbing his chin or scratching his head for added effect. You see for this type of man it is all about the label, all about the image and all about who he thinks will think that he is great. When the salesman enquires, `Do you want to give her a spin?

Catching himself off guard, mid-flow, he slows down into his macho stance, frowns heavily and utters in a slightly subdued voice, ever so nonchalantly, `Mmmhhh. The salesman joins him on the other side and they drive out of the showrooms and into delight. Once the open road is in front of them, excitement gets the better of him and he lets down his guard a little. The movies in his mind take over, he is centre stage, heading the bill and has even upgraded to Paul Newman or Steve McQueen. If the answer is that you have many interests but are frustrated that you have no energy to do them, then you're probably not depressed. If you have no interests or have lost interest in the things you used to enjoy, then you likely are depressed. And it is good to treat that along with the SHINE protocol. Depression can accompany any severe illness such as cancer, but we wouldn't dream of telling people with cancer that they were crazy. Whether or not you are depressed, you may consider some type of therapist for emotional support and guidance. Be careful who you choose, however. Make sure psychotherapist is one word--not two. Talk to your friends and relatives to find somebody who is good. Your physician may also be an excellent resource. The Problem with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) My experience is that, especially in NHTs that are conversations, we hand control of our schedule to the person with whom we're speaking. It's a guilt mechanism that says, I'll stay on the phone with you until you either feel better, or agree with my decision, or at least feel heard. That doesn't do anyone any good. Be kind and set a reasonable limit on tough calls. Own Your Strength An NHT has a force to it, a power to make you feel small, helpless, and weak.

The longer you put it off, the larger it becomes and the smaller you become. It helps to remember that you are an adult. Adults do hard stuff all the time. They get up and go to work, they care about others when they don't feel like it, they obey God when it feels counterintuitive. You finished the proposal before the given timeframe and were commended for doing a thorough and speedy task. That night, you concentrate on your plan to carry out even more projects and overlook the praises you got. Personalizing: If something terrible happens, you instantly blame yourself. Like for instance, your holiday was canceled, and you think that the cancelation was because your friends don't want to go with you. Polarizing: You see the thing as either bad or good. There's no middle ground. Catastrophizing: You instantly expect the word. The fast-food chain gets your meal wrong, and you immediately think that your whole day will be worst. Concentrating on Positive Thinking You can know how to turn lousy thinking into a positive one. Michael Schumacher will be saved for when the salesman isn't around. Outwardly he does his best to hold on to that stoic image, slipping on his Matrix shades for that `ice cool' effect, which has the added benefit of hiding the childlike delight sparkling through his eyes. Now that the movie has been rolled out, opportunities present themselves to him. Maybe if I gave up the drink for the next four thousand years! The finance is easily arranged. Absolutely.

And what does he think: he thinks, `Who's yer mama? He has got the good feelings, he has got the sensory experience of it and now he even has hindsight and we all know that hindsight is a great thing. He has jumped forward to the future (ie a time when he owns the car) and from the future he has looked past the `obstacle', which becomes smaller and less of an obstacle when the taste of the solution is still fresh in your mind. Action Is King Cognitive behavioral therapy teaches people coping skills and can be very helpful for many crippling illnesses, including cancer, multiple sclerosis, and a host of other conditions. The problem occurs when practitioners think that they have to convince the person that the person's illness is not real as part of the CBT. Those practitioners have lost touch with reality and can be quite abusive--even if well-meaning. Picture the reaction if a CBT practitioner was not only trying to convince people with metastatic cancer that they did not have a real illness but aggressively worked to get legislation passed making it illegal for these people with cancer to get the treatments or insurance coverage they needed and had paid for. This would be considered obscenely abusive, and it is equally inappropriate in CFS and fibromyalgia. On the other hand, many excellent CBT therapists treat their CFS and fibromyalgia patients with respect, helping them cope by giving them the powerful tools that CBT has to offer--without trying to invalidate their illness. I would note that there is nothing wrong with physicians who say, I'm sorry I don't know what's wrong with you. They're simply being honest. It is also totally understandable for physicians to not be willing to prescribe treatments they are not familiar or comfortable with. Please simply thank them for their honesty. Realize your own strength as a grown-up. I have found four good ways to own your strength. Each of them will help you get moving into your NHT. Recall your history. You have done tough things before. Bring them to mind.

Think about when you asked out that dream girl in high school, when you confronted someone who was being controlling or judgmental, when you joined the gym and felt better about yourself. God gives us memory banks meant to encourage us that we have done good things, and we are capable of doing them again. Ask God to strengthen you. All through the Bible, God encourages us to be confident in our success when we follow his paths. The procedure is easy, but it does take lots of time and practice. After all, you are making a new habit. Below are the ways to behave and think confidently and positively: Know Areas that Need to Modification: To become optimistic and take on a positive thinking, you need to know first the aspects of your life, which you usually think unhelpfully about. It doesn't matter if it is daily commute, work, or relationship. You can begin small by concentrating on one part to approach in an optimistic way. Open to Wittiness: Give yourself consent to laugh or smile, particularly during hard times. Seek wittiness in everyday activities. Laughing can reduce stress and overthinking. Check Yourself: Every so often during the day, assess what you are thinking. Now some people believe that you can send out for anything into the universe and you'll get it. There is another philosophy too that if you have a goal and you put it out to the universe, it will become manifest and if you don't collect it then someone else will. Some say if you want that Mercedes or that Ferrari or you want those Jimmy Choo shoes and matching handbag, if you want this happy life or this brilliant relationship, it requires that you be prepared to do something to get it. It doesn't just come to you, you have got to show up and play your part. A guy called Joe Keaney was my first hypnosis teacher in the 1990s. One of the last exercises he taught me involved getting the attention of the students in his class by having them form a circle with their chairs and placing a candle on a desk in the centre of the room.