Tuesday, 15 September 2020

I'm not going to get any better at this

Is it a genetic thing that can't be changed? Chances are it's because they've chosen to hold on to those limiting beliefs, fears, doubts, worries and negativity that they saw in their parents that their parents probably never fully realized they had. The great news is that you don't have to be like anyone except yourself. Then she and my father would find other solutions and completely ignore my efforts. You would think I'd learn, but I did not. I fell into the same trap over and over. This went on for decades. I stayed living in the state I grew up in for over forty years because I thought she'd be lost without me. When I could no longer take the emotional pain, I began therapy. Even though it made me feel terribly guilty to do so, I totally cut my parents out of my life. I wondered how my mother would survive without me, but I knew I had to focus on me. There was no other feasible way for me to heal. That's when I learned just how replaceable I was. Yes, you read correctly. What he lacked was not training or talent, but a metaphor to rekindle his desire and justify his efforts. If someone had told him that winning the French Open was only a step up and not a summit, that there was still a hard climb awaiting him, his life would paradoxically have been easier. Yannick Noah was hungry for images. It was his imagination that needed nourishment, not his willpower. As a trainer he has grasped this necessity and tries to feed the minds of players with rich and inspiring images. It's less the dream of victory than the reveries and focused imagination that work miracles.

Imagining yourself as a gold miner when you're playing tennis might seem a bit beside the point, and yet the gold miner is on a quest, he knows no discouragement, he is ready to dig as deep as he must to find the seam. Gold, as alchemists knew, is the fruit of effort. Gold, Olympic or physical, is always a distant dream requiring an effort to go deep and extract from the earth. That's right, our associates. It's not okay to be delivering positive, legendary service to our paying customers and then react negatively when an associate asks for something. How can you expect your associates to treat your customers with Sweet Hospitality if their service isn't so sweet? In today's world, there simply is no question about the impact of having a first-in-class company culture. Researchers in the Department of Economics at the University of Warwick found that happy workers are 12 percent more productive than the average worker, and unhappy workers are 10 percent less productive. So, if you want Sweet Results, it literally pays to put your associates first and make sure they're happy. When I had the honor to meet his son, Mr. Bill Marriott, I asked him if he could give general managers one piece of advice, what would that be. Marriott looked me right in the eyes and said with absolute conviction, I'd say to take care of your people! My friend, he is the real deal and meeting him was one of the highlights of my entire career--cool or cool? Being anything or anyone else is just a lie. If you enjoy mirroring others so much, allow yourself to mirror those of the truly great and rare people who are filled with love and command respect and honor wherever they go and from whomever they meet. See yourself as truly great, and very soon the world will too. WHEN IT COMES TO PEOPLE, I'M POSITIVE THAT MOST ARE NEGATIVE Nothing is easier than fault-finding; I'm absolutely amazed at how many people are negative. These are the gloom-and-doomers who can more quickly remind you of the things that didn't work, than the things that did.

The same people who always have a gripe, an ache or a pain, who are constantly struggling financially and who look for the things that could wrong instead of go right. When you get down to it, people can really be divided into two groups: the malevolents and the benevolents. The malevolents are those who are angry at life and think life is basically a struggle and unfair. I was first replaced by my siblings whom she'd always treated horribly. Then they were replaced by two female step-cousins whom my parents previously had little to do with. No matter the relationship, you are only as important to the narcissist as what you can provide for him in the moment. I know it's a sad truth, but I cannot emphasize it enough. Narcissists feel no more love for their family or any other close relationships than they do for strangers. They may use the word love to express their feelings, and they may at times demonstrate appropriate loving behavior, but it is a ruse. They are emotionally unequipped to love anyone but themselves. Even that love is distorted. With all their perceived power and specialness, one would think narcissists have very high self-esteem and great self-love. That is not so. On the one hand, you have the mountain as dream of air and ascent; It is always beneficial, Bachelard says, to offer images to an impoverished heart. The imagination dominates the life of the emotions. What Yannick Noah has created in the French Davis Cup team is a real Copernican revolution linking happiness and performance. Contrary to a long and ongoing tradition that characterizes happiness as the outcome of performance, he has adopted the opposite approach, which consists of starting from happiness and well-being to facilitate the performance. Performance is no longer an aim, it is an indirect consequence of happiness. You reach your goal without aiming for it.

The dream is no longer simply a horizon, it's a state that you look for in order to play as in a dream. Not everyone, you tell me, can be a champion tennis player, freediver, tightrope walker, or pianist. And that's where I wish to bring this article to its close, sitting comfortably in an armchair with Gaston Bachelard, the philosopher of reverie and happy imagination. Let me set the scene for an associate Yes Is the Answer scenario: Associate: Hi Boss, I'd really like to have my weekends with family. Can I work Monday through Friday and have weekends off? Before you continue, use your new skills to practice how you would respond positively. How did you do? If we just react and don't take that breath, it might come out like this: Manager: Have all weekends off? Are you nuts? This is a hotel! Get out of my office! The benevolents see life as basically good and fair, provided you do the things and take the action necessary to have the things you want and do the things you want to do. Life is like a magnet. Positive people think positive thoughts and tend to attract the people and circumstances in their lives that are positive, fulfilling, happy and successful. Like attracts like. The most important power you have is the power to choose. That's right. No one can influence or make you choose something unless you give them that power.

You can choose to be negative and live a life that attracts problems and heartache and repels the good from you, or you can choose to be positive. Once you know the difference, I'm positive you won't choose to be negative. JEALOUSY AND GOSSIP, THE WORLD'S FAVORITE SPORTS They actually have poorly defined senses of self, frequent episodes of self-loathing, and constant feelings of inadequacy. By they I mean their true selves. That is a side of narcissists no one ever gets to see. It tells them they are unlovable, inferior, worthless, ugly and powerless. Feeling that way about themselves is unbearable, so they disown that part and replace it with a facade they are proud to show the world. That facade is known as the false self. The false self is a strong and impenetrable suit of armor. Its job is to absorb the narcissist's pain, hurt, fragility, and all perceived attacks from the outside world. It keeps him from excruciating self-examination and introspection; If anyone tries to expose the narcissist for who he really is, the false self lashes out with rage so terrifying, no one wants to cross him again. For anyone, as he explains, can be a champion in their imagination. There is nothing stopping you. No competition, no adversaries, no obstacles. In other words, you don't have to dive a hundred meters down to be happy, it's enough just to dive into the imaginary. Someone who imagines well will live well, and is better preparing themselves for an act of will. Careful, though--imagination is not a compensatory or escapist dream, it's an energizing reality. Images are true accelerators of the psyche;

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