Thursday, 28 May 2020

Self-worth and health

The wardrobe door opened slowly, and her stepmother, Bev, leaned in. We all know someone like this. Let's call her Jane. Jane can eat pizza every day. She has dessert with each meal and is never one to pass on seconds. Her only exercise is walking to and from her car. Yet, she's thin, energetic, and always smiling. When she goes to her doctor for her annual checkup, everything looks great. She even has perfect eyesight. Unfortunately, most of us are not like Jane. I believe in the ability to read other people's thoughts. I believe one hundred percent. There is nothing difficult in this, for me to read the thoughts of other people is like listening to what they say. And I do not see any mystery in this. Reading thoughts as naturally as eating or breathing. In fact, we all read the mind--only, do it unconsciously. Someone succeeds better, someone worse, someone uses this talent, and someone does not. But I'm sure we can all develop this natural ability. That's what this article is about.

But what do I mean by read minds? It is interesting when we look at figures who have shown this resilience, this invincibility, that, in very many cases, there is a deep meaning at their core. They have something so strong that they believe in, that has literally powered them through the darkest of situations. I had the honour of meeting Terry Waite, who was held as a hostage for four years in the Lebanon. This meaning that had `helped him through' was almost palpable. When I met him in 2012, he had just returned to Beirut to be reconciled with his captors. Perhaps the most extreme case of this is that of Viktor Frankl who wrote the seminal article on resilience Man's Search for Meaning after being a prisoner in Auschwitz. 1 If resilience is something you want to focus on, you can do no better than read this. Actually everyone should read this; we all need good regular doses of inspiration. Thankfully, most of us do not undergo traumas on such a monumental scale, but the same principle applies. He is always the victim of circumstances and the environment around him. Deflectors have perfected the art of deflecting blame away from them. As such, it is always very difficult to win an argument with them. This is because they will find a way to change the conversation or twist it and turn you into the bad guy before you get a chance to make your point. A deflector will shift blame to the accuser using everything he has. In the end, he ends up disorienting everyone involved by masking the truth, misrepresenting facts, or changing topics. The best marketing plan for any business is to find out customer preferences and deliver it. This way, such a business ends up promoting customer loyalty, and also increases customer references as a way of advertising. The values that most customers hold dear are easy to identify since they are almost universal.

It would be in a good sense for any company to try and abide by these and other customer preferences. Of all the things I've learned since those early days, goal-setting has had the most profound effect on my life. Every aspect of my existence -- my accomplishments, my income, my bank balance, my lifestyle, my donations, even my personality -- changed for the better. I am so convinced that mastering goal-setting can have a profound effect on your life that I'm going to devote a great deal of space to discussing this often misunderstood process. In fact, I urge you to do more than just read the following articles. And if you have a notearticle handy, so much the better. Each and every one of our lives is affected by several factors. One of those factors is our environment -- where we live, what kind of parents we have, which schools we attend, who our friends are; each plays a role. We are also shaped by the events in our lives. A war, for example, can wrench all certainty from our psyche. Ashley turned her face to the back wall of the dresser. Ashley? Honey, I read the letter your grandmother sent you. Don't pay attention to her. She doesn't know what she's talking about. She must not know the whole story. Can you hear me? Will you look at me, please? When Ashley faced her stepmother, the woman gasped at the self-inflicted injuries.

Ashley's stepbrother, Ben, who stood in the doorway, asked, What's going on, Mom? We all come to the table with our own slate of medical problems and past dietary habits. But even beyond visible illnesses like diabetes or liver disease, we are different at the cellular level. Just as two people might respond to the stress of public speaking differently--one relishing the limelight while the other runs in fear--our bodies are designed to react differently to stresses at the microscopic level. Our genetic material, our DNA, is one of a kind. Each of us has slightly different versions of enzymes and proteins. Therefore, we react to chemical and physiologic stresses differently. Some substances that are harmless to Jane might be toxic for you. She may make a bag of chips disappear without a trace, while you'll gain weight just from looking at a potato. We're all different. While this piece of writing will examine the latest science you can use to fight aging, improve your mood, and strengthen your energy levels, not every technique will work equally for everybody. What do I mean when I say we do it every day unconsciously? What is it really? For a start, I will note what does not apply to the process of reading thoughts in my understanding. In psychology, they call reading minds (in plain English Mind Reading). The phenomenon is the result of which so many married couples find themselves at the reception of a psychotherapist--this happens when partners believe that one should know the thoughts of the other. If he really loves me, he should understand that I didn't want to go to that party. So what if I said yes? He should have known that I didn't want it. He doesn't care about me since he doesn't understand how I feel.

Requiring another person to know your thoughts is the height of egocentrism. If you can identify what is most important to you and bring it to the centre of your life, then everything else begins to fall into place around it. And when we say what is most important to you, we mean important to you now - not when you last thought about it which may be way back in the mists of time. We trained a lovely and extremely clever woman whose face fell as she reeled off her beliefs. It started with passion and ended in absolute confusion as she realised she had stated this list of beliefs to a lecturer at university whom she wanted badly to impress. Not only had she not revisited it in 22 years, though she had `repeated' it often, but it had not even been soundly true at the time. She had told him what she thought he wanted to hear. To some extent, this is true of most of us. We are loathe to change our fundamental beliefs. After all, if we start to mess around with them, where would we be? In fact, who would we be? However, this is not always the case. Company priorities may not be in sync with customer preferences. This is because often, the central goal for most businesses is to widen their profit margins as much as possible. As such, paying so much attention to their customer preferences may prove counterproductive. This is because producing the best quality products at low prices while offering good loyalty discounts may not make for the best business strategy. It is for this reason that many business holders have developed clever ways of `tricking' their customers so that everyone goes home satisfied. Advertising and miscommunication is often the area of target in manipulating clients. A well-designed advert holds the potential of significantly increasing the sales of a particular product. As a matter of fact, a well-executed advert can have the capacity of causing you to purchase something which you had no prior plan of purchasing.

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