Clicking With People in Warm Situations

I scrambled up the forty or more rows, happy that I would finally be trained. Amanda walked through the streets of her chosen hometown, the kids swarming like moths to each porch light and then back to Amanda, opening their palms and shouting about every Bit-O-Honey, tiny Snickers, full-size Hershey's bar! Amanda's daughter, dressed as Wonder Woman, was gobsmacked. Every person gives me candy for no reason? Yes, said Amanda. Her sons (one dressed as the baseball star Jose Altuve and the other as a hot dog) filled pillowcases with candy, which they'd sort and trade later with their friends. For the rest of the night, Amanda felt eleven again--a genie who no longer needed her bottle. Jardine had just moved to LA with her partner, Neil, and their place had a giant window looking over the city. At the house across the street, the guy had been prepping all week to throw a BBQ, and today was the day. From noon on, she saw his friends come and go, smelled food grilling; Seemed to be going great from her vantage point. Put simply, rather than focusing purely on abilities, or capabilities or character traits, it's also important to identify what issues we will face in the future and where value will always be needed. This makes problem solving a critical Forever Skill. Learn to love problems. Think in questions, not statements. Look for answers, not the answer. Do the work (creativity is a numbers game). Despite the many cliches surrounding Darwin's work, it is not the strongest who survive, but rather the most adaptable. Layne Beachley is an eight-time world champion surfer. It would be fair to call Layne a living legend.

When we sat down to talk with Layne, she outlined her belief in the importance of adaptability and agility in high performance. Sit on a mat or blanket close to the wall. Carefully roll onto your side and extend your legs up the wall. Adjust yourself so that your bottom and the backs of your legs are connected to the wall and your torso is aligned with your hips. Rest your arms by your sides. Set your practice intention. Recheck your positioning to make sure that you feel aligned. Begin breathing gently and slowly in and out through the nose for eight minutes. Notice any changes in your breath without trying to adjust it in any way. Allow your body to feel supported by the wall and floor, continuing to sink and relax with each exhale. If distressing thoughts or images come to mind, gently return your attention to your breath. She remarked to me that the old-growth forests of Ohio are contained in its antique barns. Although ours did not become part of the tour, I hope I am preserving something of the state's ancient heritage. When we first moved north from Granville, I paid an acquaintance to trailer my mare from the place where I boarded her to our new farm. Getting out of his truck, he remarked, Boy, Debbie, when you move to the country, you move to the country. We are six miles from the nearest market, three miles from the nearest encampment where there is a post office, and fourteen miles from the nearest settlement that might be called a town, yet the traveling purveyors of religion find us out regardless of how far out of the way we live. The first time an evangelist strode across the lawn it was summer, and I had just dragged the rototiller out of the garage. The elderly but spry and determined woman opened her Bible and read a passage about people being punished with war and plague. Now doesn't that sound like today? I disapprove of scholars and intellectuals putting these people down with their superior knowledge of Biblical exegesis, and I was flattered that anyone cared about what I thought, but I wasn't going to be preached at.

It sounds to me like thirteenth-century Europe, I remarked. This was exciting because it gave me two good things in a row: I had avoided crashing on the freeway with my bare tires, and now I had snagged a seat so close that I would be able to see and hear everything the speaker had to say. I wouldn't miss anything. I was going to learn how to be a millionaire. The energy was electric. Settling in, I could hear all the excited conversations buzzing around me: people talking and shouts of, Hey, you look great! How are, Davy and Jen-Jen? The realization hit; Bigger than that, they knew each other really well. I felt jealous that everyone seemed so close, and for a moment, I regressed back into the little kid who hated the little kid who hated to walk into class late. I chided myself for feeling that way. Then, before the sun was anywhere near setting, a young woman staggered out of his yard toward the street, tripped, and fell on the sidewalk. She was dressed up in dark jeans, a silk halter, wooden platform heels, but now she couldn't even get up off the ground. The man with her went back into the party and then returned with her handbag. He bent to her, maybe to ask what he could do. She had her head down; An Uber arrived. The driver looked out the window, not sure he wanted to take her. The man on the sidewalk had a long talk with the driver. The woman eventually got into a kneeling position, and then finally was able to stand to be helped into the car.

Maybe we projected our own shame and bad feelings on the poor love, but this was an intense thing to see. She shared with us the story of getting to number two in the world and then having to relearn one of the most basic skills in surfing: how to stand up on her board! The way I was doing it enabled me to reach number two but it wasn't going to get me to number one, and I wanted to be number one! It meant I had to relearn something I had been doing since I started surfing as a 4 year old. To achieve that, I had to practice jumping to my feet prior to every surf and every competitive heat for a whole year! Perhaps, but that willingness to relearn and create something new is a creative agility skill that many high achievers and great leaders have in common. Becoming great, becoming a world champion, is not just about how good we are, but also how willing we are to adapt, learn something new and even start over again. What can get in the way of this agility and adaptability, as explained in article 1, is that we are pretty much wired to resist change. That being said, versatility and a willingness to be flexible in our approach has always been critical in setting human beings up for success. Our ability to adapt to new environmental conditions; It may not necessarily feel natural or comfortable to push ourselves to try the unfamiliar, but learning to operate in the space of `non-lethal discomfort' is a necessary skill if we are to future-proof ourselves and those around us. At the end of the eight minutes, rest and observe how you feel. When you're ready to come out of the posture, bend your knees into your chest and roll to one side. Place your hands on the floor and push yourself up. If you find yourself wanting to practice longer than eight minutes, please feel free. You can do this practice up to twenty minutes once you get comfortable and familiar with it. If you are a practicing yogi, you are welcome to use a bolster under your hips for a soft heart opening that will add another layer to the Grief Breath. Please note, if you are more than three months pregnant or have neck issues, a detached retina, glaucoma, or high blood pressure, do not practice with your legs up the wall. An alternative to this pose is to practice the breathwork portion in a seated position that is very comfortable, keeping your hips and legs at the same height if possible. Propping yourself up on a couch or bed with pillows behind your back and under your knees is a great way to allow your body to relax so that you can access your breath and eventually touch into the grief.

The Grounding Breath has become a practice that I teach all of my clients at the beginning of our time together. But doesn't it also sound like today? I don't know of a time in history when there wasn't war and disease, I answered. Don't you think it might be a wake-up call to the people of today? I made excuses about having chores to do, and she left. The second time, the preacher brought reinforcements. Four women of ages representing adolescence to veneration drove up to the house, parked, and walked to the door. I saved them trouble by suggesting immediately that they work on more promising souls. The third time, a well-dressed, good-humored woman approximately in her forties came to the door and greeted me exuberantly. She wanted to talk about something, she said, and reached into her voluminous bag. Is this about religion? This wasn't like grammar school, with all eyes staring at you and little boys making teasing remarks because you were late. This company was 15 years old; It would be odd if they didn't. Especially with this being the most successful group in town. In fact, I figured, they would probably be clamoring to help me once they found out how my sponsor had essentially abandoned me. The Moment I Had Been Waiting For Have you ever put everything you have into one moment? I had laid it all on the line to come here and get training. When the speaker walked in, a broad grin spread across my face.