Arguments are escalating

The chance to redeem myself came in the form of nuts, bags and bags of walnuts. I tried anxiously to determine where I'd left my earrings. They were large and flashy--jubilant. They'd been a Christmas present to myself. I slipped on my robe over silver velvet, tying the sash tight. My hair still smelled of the fancy hairstyle I'd made stick with Aqua Net as I prepared for the party, sipping wine from a large goblet. One of my black heels lay next to the bed. I felt a sour panic as I scanned the room for the other, but ah, there it was, by the doorway. I went to check on my toddler daughter, who was curled up and breathing softly. I found my eldest son sprawled on his top bunk wearing snow pants. My heart slowed, knowing all three were safe, but the dread would remain for days. In The Art of Innovation, Apple's former chief evangelist Guy Kawasaki notes that few market leaders have been able to `jump the curve' and maintain leadership once a technological leap has been made. Kawasaki observes that ice farmers in the frozen north failed to make the leap to factory-based ice production, who in turn failed to make the leap to the production and distribution of home refrigerators. This pattern has been replicated in many industries in the years since. There are a number of reasons for this, not least of which is the fact that innovation requires a willingness and ability to kill the status quo. Not easy to do when you are actually part of the status quo and it also happens to pay your salary, cover your rent, take care of your children's school fees and put food on your table. The other, perhaps more sinister, force increasing this sense of trepidation about the future is the fact that there is a lot of money and power to be earned from fear. Entire industries thrive on this very human emotion and have little interest in dispelling fear or creating a sense of comfort about the future. These include sectors such as insurance, politics, education, religion, the stock market, banking and even retail. Areas that in many ways play a positive role in society, but are also susceptible to using fear-based manipulation.

So if fear is often an incorrect (or unhelpful) response to the world of change, what are the alternatives? Adults typically breathe twelve to twenty breaths per minute, which is about 20,000 cycles every 24 hours. This rate increases with physical exertion and decreases while in a resting state. Just to give you an idea of how the body uses oxygen, about 25 percent of it is used by the brain, while the kidneys use 12 percent and the heart just 7 percent. Our bodies need oxygen to sustain themselves and need to be able to expel carbon dioxide to cleanse the system. Breath is a natural detoxifier. When we think of cleansing these days, the go-to usually has something to do with the food we eat. And while that is essential for wellness, making sure we are breathing well throughout the day is an impactful way to keep our system clean and clear. The major body parts and organs that are involved with breathing are the mouth, nose, larynx (voice box), trachea, lungs, and diaphragm. When we breathe, oxygen enters the nose or mouth. The air moves through the pharynx (throat), larynx, and trachea into the lungs. Wild cherry and big-tooth aspen are two species that can return to mined soil. Black locust, which survives on many acidic soils, adds nitrogen. Other trees hardy enough to grow on reclaimed areas include black alder, cottonwood, white ash, white pine, tulip tree, red maple, elm, and sweet gum. Crown vetch, a legume developed in England and said to help replace topsoil, was widely sown in Harrison County in the 1950s. Although invasive, it can be controlled more easily than the thorny stems of multiflora rose--another troublesome import--and helps to prevent erosion on steep banks. Forest restoration takes fifty to one hundred years, but some desecrated soils do recover. Animals requiring a large habitat such as bear, lynx, and timber wolves are gone forever, but a few species once extirpated or endangered have made remarkable comebacks. Once eliminated from the state by pelt hunters, beavers migrated back into Ohio from Pennsylvania in 1936; Although prairie chickens never returned after 1900, the ruffed grouse and quail populations grew.

Reintroduced by an Ohio Division of Wildlife project, wild turkeys proliferated. All of the members had to sell bags of walnuts, even the ones with calves. I was born competitive, and although I wasn't excited about selling walnuts, I pictured myself selling the most. I wanted to win the contest, so I began by asking my mom if she needed any walnuts for her brownies or cookies. Half expecting her to say no, I told her what the walnuts' price per pound was. I had never seen my mom so enthusiastic. On the spot she bought all of my bags of walnuts. Then she asked me if I could get more. In that moment I felt like I had a chance at winning. The next day she drove me back to the farm of our 4-H leader. The woman looked amazed that I had sold everything and already needed more. I'd googled the dread many times--was it chemical, something about the Chardonnay going sludgy in my veins? Was I an alcoholic? Did I need to stop drinking forever? You don't have to be done, but my God, you are allowed to be. I was nine when I told my father (after taking a quiz on the back of an AA pamphlet) that he was an alcoholic. I remember standing next to the cupboard where he kept his handles of Jack Daniel's. My two younger sisters and I were terrified of him: I never knew when he'd scream at us for running up the goddamn stairs, slam my shoulders to the ground and ask me how it felt to be a failure, or chastise us for being spoiled rotten. There is a small child who lives inside me that is so scared of him, even now, that I feel sick and sometimes tremble when I think of those days. I don't remember many of them at all.

My earrings were not in the kitchen, where I made coffee and took four New Year's Day Advil. Perhaps just as distracting as future fear is the temptation offered by new opportunities. At first blush, this seems a far less dangerous preoccupation than fear. Surely the capacity to find opportunity in change is a good thing. Of course, it can be. However, as anyone who has ever sported a mullet or worn yoga pants for anything other than a yoga class can (and should) attest, not every trend or opportunity is worth investing in. In much the same way that we can become distracted by what's changing, we can also become enamoured with what could, or we believe should, change. This is partly driven by the competitive desire, which many of us share, to be the first and to shape the future in our own image. However, as Ohio State University's Oded Shenkar suggests in his article Copycats: How smart companies use imitation to gain a strategic edge, being first to market is not always a recipe for success. In fact, Shenkar's research found that as much as 97. So much for being first to market! Then air is exhaled, flowing back through the same pathway. One of the reasons I encourage my clients to breathe through their nose (when they are not engaged in strenuous exercise) is because inhaling through the nose enhances endurance and increases our ability to focus. The nose is also a defense against bacteria and produces nitric oxide, which is a very important compound for cardiovascular, immune, and sexual health. Once the air is in the body, it flows through the trachea (windpipe) and then moves to the bronchi, two tubes that carry air into each lung. From there it goes into the lungs, where the oxygen is exchanged for carbon dioxide. The bloodstream delivers oxygen to cells and removes waste, or carbon dioxide, through internal respiration. During exhalation, air passes from the lungs through the larynx and then out the nose or mouth. When I teach first-time clients or a breathwork basics class, I tend to spend most of my time on the diaphragm because it is the primary breathing muscle, and it's a part of the body that most of us aren't very familiar with. The diaphragm is a very deep muscle, with an asymmetrical double-domed shape located at the base of the chest that divides the torso into the thoracic and abdominal cavities (or sections).

Take your hands and place one at each side of your torso, with fingers facing forward and your pinky fingers touching your bottom ribs. Bobcats, native to Ohio but extirpated by 1850, began to migrate back into the southeastern part of the state in the 1960s; Eliminated from the state by 1900, deer have, as a result of predator depletion and the abundance of field/forest edge habitat, recovered their numbers so successfully that they are widely regarded as overabundant. Marsh preservation enabled some water bird populations to recover from the effects of wetland drainage and industrial pollution. At Crane Creek Wildlife Research Station in Magee Marsh, counts in the 1980s revealed dramatically increased populations of black ducks, gadwals, wigeons, canvasbacks, whistling swans, coots, and mergansers. Herons, which numbered 2,200 in the state in 1946, increased their population to 30,000 by 1972. Twenty pairs of Canada geese released in Crane Creek in 1967 became 1,082 individuals by 1972; Reservoirs originally constructed to provide water for canals in the early 1800s have been turned into state parks, such as Buckeye and Indian Lakes, and provide homes or migratory rest stops for geese, ducks, and herons. Eagles and ospreys have been successfully reintroduced at reservoirs and reclamation areas. In the Zaleski State Forest in Vinton County, surrounded by the Wayne National Forest, a twenty-three-mile hiking trail stands as a symbol of the rejuvenation of the wild. The poorest part of the state in the late twentieth century, Vinton County was a major iron-smelting area in the early 1900s, even including its industry in the names given to some of its towns--Hope Furnace and Union Furnace, for example. Handing her the cash, I asked for double the amount this time. Her words shook my confidence. Are you sure? You're awful little to be handling so many walnuts. My face burned bright red, and I just stood there staring at her, saying nothing. How 'bout we give you just a couple pounds again and see how you do. After standing there, looking at the ground, I just nodded, took what she gave me, and headed back to the car. Mom saw the look on my face, the small bag of walnuts, and said, You go back in there and tell her you need more. She wouldn't give them to me.