We focus on the positive

The drawings were never quite right. They had to be continually improved and perfected. By pushing for perfection and holding on to this constant feeling of uncertainty, the project never froze into something rigid and lifeless. It had to feel alive in the moment, as his brush touched the paper. If what he was designing began to feel dead in any way, it was time to start over. This not only required tremendous patience on his part, but a good deal of courage, as he wiped out the work of several months. Maintaining the edge and feeling of aliveness, however, was more important. As the years went by and Calatrava was able to look back on all of his projects, he had a strange sensation. Anger might have motivated our early ancestors to protect their resources (for example, if you steal my resources, I get angry and fight to protect them, thus having resources to survive), find motivation to avoid pain (the angrier you are, the more you lash out, and the more you lash out, the more endorphins are released), or heighten desire to track down the bigger prey that could subsequently feed more of the group (anger itself is not wrong or bad and, in fact, can be a very strong motivator), which in turn helped the individual survive. Each of our basic emotions conceivably served an evolutionary purpose before language evolved. Once language evolved, creativity blossomed. With creativity came ineffable beauty, as well as intolerable self-inflicted pain. It's helpful to be mindful both of the ways in which creativity exacerbates problems and the ways in which you can bank on creativity to learn from your emotions and teach others to learn from theirs. Teaching stories and metaphors are layered so deeply that the extent of their impact can be truly understood only on a case-by-case basis and over time. Ultimately, each person feels the depth and reach of metaphors and teaching tales on an indescribable level. The more you can tap into creativity to spark awareness, the more you can in turn help others tap into their own. Whether you hone in on your awareness of the ways in which your self-talk drives your narrative and, subsequently, your emotions, or whether you focus more on the ways in which you can use experiential awareness or teaching tales to spark insight in others, the reality is that there is tremendous power in creativity. Ultimately, you or anyone else in a creative state is not in a state of conflict. We were on a date the other night, and I told him excitedly about this website that I had just gotten mentioned on, and he said, `Oh, I know, I saw it on your Google Alert. After a month and a half.

Is this weird? Having a Google Alert on yourself makes sense. Having a Google Alert set up for someone you're dating is a different matter entirely. On the one hand, it's flattering that he cared enough to want to be alerted of any professional developments the moment they happened. On the other hand. I publicly pride myself on being a grade-A stalker, but I can't imagine actually signing up for a Google Alert on someone I'm dating: It would feel much too controlling/creepy. Besides, it totally takes the fun out of sharing exciting news with your partner. Does he really need to be kept abreast of every time you tweet, blog, or make an appearance on the Internet? The process he had evolved felt as if it had come from outside of him. It was not something he had created through his own imagination, but rather it was nature itself that had led him to this perfectly organic and beautifully effective process. The projects would take root in his mind with some emotion or idea, and slowly grow through the drawings, always alive and as fluid as life itself, like the stages of a plant leading to a flower. Feeling such vitality during the work, he would translate this sensation into the structures themselves, evoking awe and wonder in the public that saw and used them. Because the creative process is an elusive subject and one for which we receive no training, in our first creative endeavors we are most often left to our own devices, to sink or swim. And in these circumstances we have to evolve something that suits our individual spirit and our profession. Often, however, we can go quite wrong in evolving this process, particularly with the pressure to produce results and the fear this instills in us. In the process Calatrava developed for his work, we can discern an elemental pattern and principles that have wide application, built as they are on the natural inclinations and strengths of the human brain. First, it is essential to build into the creative process an initial period that is open-ended. You give yourself time to dream and wander, to start out in a loose and unfocused manner. Creativity brings depth to your experience of life, and it helps you walk straight through any anger or conflict head on. Finally, people learn in different ways.

Some techniques you try will work well with some people and not at all with others. Through the lens of Yield Theory, everyone's perspective matters, so do your best to assess the most effective way to get through to the person who is in front of you. When you draw on analogies and metaphors, including experiential and visual techniques, you are more likely to meet diverse learners where they are. At all times, keep in your foreground the goal at hand: to use your creativity to find ways to spark insight, both in yourself and in those on whom you hope to have an impact. Creativity is one of the greatest strengths we possess as humans. Unchecked, however, creativity can manifest in negative ways and be an awful source of pain. It's important to learn the difference between consciously using creativity to help you solve problems and blindly allowing creative thinking patterns to spiral you or others downward. Insight helps us figure out our thinking patterns, and it can help us shift the way we see what we experience. Save something to talk about for the actual date! A little stalkerish. Definitely weird. 69% of daters surveyed by our organisation. setting up a Google Alert on someone you're dating is weird. THINGS DON'T always work out. Even things that looked pretty promising. It sucks, because all breakups suck. Even the ones that were a long time coming, even the ones that you never expected to really last in the first place. The thing you've got to remember is that breakups are good for you in the long run. In this period, you allow the project to associate itself with certain powerful emotions, ones that naturally come out of you as you focus on your ideas. It is always easy to tighten up your ideas later on, and to make your project increasingly realistic and rational.

But if you begin with a feeling of tightness and pressure, focusing on the funding, the competition, or people's opinions, you will stifle the associative powers of the brain and quickly turn the work into something without joy or life. Second, it is best to have wide knowledge of your field and other fields, giving your brain more possible associations and connections. Third, to keep this process alive, you must never settle into complacency, as if your initial vision represents the endpoint. You must cultivate profound dissatisfaction with your work and the need to constantly improve your ideas, along with a sense of uncertainty--you are not exactly sure where to go next, and this uncertainty drives the creative urge and keeps it fresh. Any kind of resistance or obstacle that crosses your path should be seen as yet another chance to improve your work. Finally, you must come to embrace slowness as a virtue in itself. When it comes to creative endeavors, time is always relative. Whether your project takes months or years to complete, you will always experience a sense of impatience and a desire to get to the end. Yield Theory utilizes creativity as a fundamental component most importantly because people have different learning styles. To help others walk through anger, it's not enough to simply have information, it's also vital to be able to convey that information to them in ways that actually work. The more you tap into your own creativity, the more options you have for communicating effectively with others, regardless of their emotional state. He who gives way to violent gestures will increase his rage. The Buddha taught long ago that mindfulness is the path to immortality. In today's world, admittedly, mindfulness is a buzzword. It's far easier to throw the word mindfulness around in conversation than it is to actually implement it; and that seems even more true in times of conflict. To be mindful is to be aware. That's it. Ending a relationship that isn't working just makes way for a relationship that does. Not that this is much comfort in the moment, when all you want to do (understandably!

So do yourself a favor and wallow away. Talk to your friends about it ad nauseam. Watch all the sad movies you can find. Listen to power ballads at full blast and dance around your room and start to feel better and then feel worse all over again. Whatever you need to get through it. But the breakup period's got to be finite. Let yourself mourn to your heart's content for a period of time, and then stop. Pick yourself up by the bootstraps. The single greatest action you can take for acquiring creative power is to reverse this natural impatience. You take pleasure in the laborious research process; You do not unnaturally draw out the process, which will create its own problems (we all need deadlines), but the longer you can allow the project to absorb your mental energies, the richer it will become. Imagine yourself years in the future looking back at the work you have done. From that future vantage point, the extra months and years you devoted to the process will not seem painful or laborious at all. It is an illusion of the present that will vanish. Time is your greatest ally. The Open Field Martha Graham's father, Dr George Graham, was one of the few pioneering doctors in the 1890s to specialize in the treatment of mental illness. In working with his patients, Dr Graham had developed the ability to judge much about their states of mind from their body language. The challenge for you is to be aware at all times of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and speech, as well as your presence, your environment, and what others are attempting to communicate to you, even under the duress of every intense emotion you experience. The idea of being aware of so much all at once can certainly seem overwhelming;