A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse

If this is all you knew about Jack, do you think it's more likely that Jack is an engineer or a lawyer? If you are like most of the participants who were faced with this judgment in a study carried out in 1973, you'd stake your bet on engineer. But what if you were also told that of the 100 professionals, 70 are lawyers and 30 are engineers? Would that make you less likely to guess engineer? According to research by Amos Tversky and the Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman (1973), the answer is no. As long as the description seems more representative of an engineer than a lawyer, participants guess engineer, regardless of whether the person was picked out of a pool of 70% lawyers or 70% engineers! Is this your stereotypical billionaire? Mark Zuckerberg, the cofounder and CEO of Facearticle, is estimated to be worth over $50 billion. You curl your lips, raise an eyebrow, inflate the nostrils or wrinkle your nose, and the person opposite you knows your true thoughts and emotions. A harmonious overall picture is only created if the body language matches the words spoken. Authenticity and credibility are the results. In communication, body language is of great importance, whether in conversations with colleagues, at job interviews, in negotiations or contact with customers. Even in small talk, attention is paid not only to the words said but also to the language of the body. To detect manipulation, it is important that you correctly interpret and decipher facial expressions and gestures. This will help you to quickly recognize what the person you are talking to wants to achieve with their words. Body language is seen as a success factor since gestures have indescribable power. However, when it comes to body language, the spirits are divided into two camps. One camp believes that the hype about facial expressions and gestures is greatly exaggerated and the effect is often overestimated. This means doing activities that you love, make your heart smile, and make you feel alive. This can include hiking, connecting with nature, engaging in sports, spending time with family and friends, yoga, meditating, dancing, laughing, singing, painting, and playing a musical instrument (see Key #3).

Once you come up with your list, take on a thirty-day challenge to do one activity that brings you joy every day. Over time, you will create new habits and neural pathways that will stimulate more joy, aliveness, health, and well-being. In the following articles, we'll talk about additional self-care strategies such as mind-body practices like yoga, qigong, and meditation, cardio exercise, nutritional lifestyle changes, and how to consistently get a good night's sleep. Reflections What ways are you sacrificing your personal needs at work and in your personal life? What boundaries can you establish to nurture your self-care needs (putting your oxygen mask on first) and serve others more generously? What projects or requests can you say no to have more mental balance and deliver on your promises? How might you prioritize your workload to align with your priorities and capacity? Such erroneous judgment occurs because people fall prey to the representativeness heuristic, a tendency to overestimate the likelihood that a target is part of a larger category if the person has features that seem representative of that category. In this case, lacking interest in political issues and enjoying mathematical puzzles seems more representative of an engineer than of a lawyer. But this conclusion depends heavily on the validity of these stereotypes and involves ignoring statistical evidence regarding the relative frequency of particular events or types of people. Even when the statistical evidence showed that far more people in the pool were lawyers than engineers (that is, a 70% base rate of lawyers), the pull of the heuristic was sufficiently powerful to override this information. Although the representativeness heuristic applies to much more than just social perception, it is part of the reason stereotypes are so sticky: We adhere quite strongly to our schemas of types or groups of people when we go about forming impressions of people around us. Representativeness heuristic The tendency to overestimate the likelihood that a target is part of a category if the person has features that seem representative of that category. Stereotypes and Individuation Of course, we don't always rely on stereotypes to judge others. As we get to know a person better, we come to view him or her more as an individual than as a member of a stereotyped group (Kunda et al. Voices from the other camp, on the other hand, think that body language is an important factor for effect and individuality. They practice and train hard because in their opinion, their success is closely linked to convincing body language.

Somewhere in between lies the truth about body language. In the same way, the statement You cannot not communicate by Paul Watzlawick is correct. Because gestures and posture speak for themselves, even when no words are spoken. There are so-called high-status gestures, which are also called power poses. Not only do they have a great effect on other people, but they can also increase your self-esteem. The following gestures express a very high status and especially a lot of power: An upright and still head position A powerful voice Where can you block more focus time to get important tasks done? What stressors do you need to let go of to have more energy and fulfillment? What activities bring you joy? Slowing down is not an act of laziness. It's an act of self-compassion that recharges your energy to meet life demands with grounded balance, resilience, and presence. J acob was a senior manager leading the artificial-intelligence- regulatory policies at a social media company. He was intelligent, energetic, optimistic, compassionate, and laser-focused on building a high-performing team that maximized their strengths while delivering exceptional results. He was a wizard at solving complex problems, building strong partnerships, and creating collaborative and trusting team environments. To maintain his stellar performance, Jacob worked long hours and spent over half that time traveling to meet with key partners, leaders, and government officials. He often took our coaching calls while driving to the airport or walking to his next meeting. When do people rely on the top-down process (applying a stereotype, or schema for someone's group, to see that person solely as a member of that group) and when do they use the bottom-up process (perceiving the person as a unique individual)? We are more likely to use a bottom-up approach and perceive a person as an individual unique from his or her social groups when we are motivated to get to know and understand who that person is (Fiske & Neuberg, 1990).

Such motivation is often activated when we need to work together with the person on a project (Neuberg & Fiske, 1987) or when we are made to feel similar to them is some way (Galinsky & Moskowitz, 2000). When this happens, rather than lazily relying on stereotypes, we attend closely to the person's specific words and actions and form individualized impressions of the unique individual with whom we are interacting (Kunda et al. Changing First Impressions No doubt you have heard the old adage that you have only one chance to make a first impression. The research reviewed above suggests that we do form impressions of others quite quickly. As we've already learned, once we form a schema, it becomes very resistant to change and tends to lead us to assimilate new information into what we already believe. What we learn early on seems to color how we judge subsequent information. This primacy effect was first studied by Asch (1946) in another of his simple but elegant experiments on how people form impressions. Elegant and slow movements Open, uninhibited smile Smooth movements Various gestures are used in the game of recognition and status. If these are used in a controlled manner, it is much easier to win over other people for yourself. However, body language has two very different sides. One side is even very dangerous. The hidden signals that are sent out with posture, facial expressions, arms and hands are aimed at manipulating you and winning you over for your cause. People who can manipulate correctly do not need words to make you feel bad and to influence your thoughts. Be aware that body language is manipulative. Although Jacob was masterful at his job and was on the fast track to becoming a director, he was overwhelmed, tired, and not fully leveraging his team's capabilities to scale and elevate his leadership influence. During a coaching call, Jacob shared how excited he was for his upcoming recharge retreat.

Upon working for the company for five years, employees received a five-week sabbatical to reset and unplug completely from work. Jacob did exactly that. He arranged a direct report to cover his responsibilities. He rested, visited family, traveled, exercised, and engaged in activities he loved. The positive results of his sabbatical were evident when Jacob returned to work. He was more present, focused, confident, and felt unstoppable. He was ready to lead a larger team with broader scope and to coach that team to be more self-sufficient in delivering the day-to-day activities. He came back recharged . In this study, Asch gave participants information about a person named John. In one condition, John was described as intelligent, industrious, impulsive, critical, stubborn, and envious. In a second condition, he was described as envious, stubborn, critical, impulsive, industrious, and intelligent. Even though participants in the two conditions were given exactly the same traits to read, the order of those traits had an effect on their global evaluations of John (TABLE 4. They rated him more positively if they were given the first order, presumably because the opening trait, intelligent, led people to put a more positive spin on all of the traits that followed it. When it comes to making a good impression, you really do want to put your best foot forward. Primacy effect The idea that what we learn early colors how we judge subsequent information. John's Description: Condition 1 John's Description: Condition 2 Intelligent Envious In this way you will encounter obvious signals, but also those that are much more subtle. They have a hidden influence on your thoughts and perception.