Friday, 30 October 2020

Decide on a major purpose you really want to accomplish

With neuro-linguistic programming you fight fears and self-doubt that block your progress. You gain strength and enormous energy to finally leave behind everything that is burdensome.Newton's First Law of Motion states that an object in motion stays in motion. This law also applies to human beings--at least in terms of goal setting. In other words, when we are in motion and actively moving toward our goals, we can sometimes feel unstoppable. We can experience a state of flow and achieve a lot more than we otherwise would do. However, what happens when we stop? We might find it hard to start the ball rolling again. As a result, we may end up procrastinating, become depressed or feel frustrated by our lack of action. When you get in the habit of sharing your vulnerability and sensitivity with those you trust, believe me, you become hungry for this type of interaction. Superficial chit-chat gets old real fast. Remember to honor your self by sharing only what feels safe. This is an important way to build self-trust. I've been blessed with the opportunity to have this type of meaningful contact on a regular basis. Ten years ago I was invited to join a dialogue group--a gathering of people who meet with the express intention of communicating from a soulful place. During our dialogue meetings each member is encouraged to share their deepest feelings. There is no seeking of agreement, debating, diagnosing, or fixing allowed. The intention is pure: share who you are in a safe place with friends who will simply witness your authenticity. I am always surprised by the depth of feeling I experience while in the company of these amazing friends. Cover story An explanation of the purpose of a study that is different from the true purpose.

There are two primary reasons for the use of deception in social psychological research. First, if participants know the true purpose of the research, their responses are likely to be affected by their knowledge of that purpose. But participants need not even be accurate in their suspicions about the purposes of a study for those suspicions to taint the study's findings. A substantial body of research has shown that if people know (or think they know) the purpose of a study, it puts a demand on them to behave in a certain way (Orne, 1962). For example, if participants had known the purpose of Milgram's research, they probably would have disobeyed very quickly. Aspects of a study that give away a purpose of the study are called demand characteristics. Studies with demand characteristics are inconclusive because the possibility that the participants were affected by their knowledge of the purpose introduces an alternative explanation for the results of the study. One source of demand characteristics can be an experimenter's expectations of how participants are supposed to behave. Perhaps, this is how you feel now. You may be in one or several of the following situations: You feel stuck and lack motivation, unable to make progress on your most important goals. You beat yourself up for not getting things done. You feel overwhelmed, not knowing what to do next. You doubt yourself and worry more than you need to. You keep jumping from one task or goal to another, without achieving anything substantial. If you recognize yourself in any of the above situations, don't worry. This article will help drive you out of your slump and rebuild your motivation. Fortunately, lacking momentum or feeling stuck is never permanent. As a result, these gatherings continue to provide some of the most meaningful and richest experiences of my life. Who will you share your feelings with?

How often will you meet? Maybe it's your partner or someone from your Life Makeover Group. You might even decide to use one of your meetings to conduct your own dialogue group. For example, gather together and open your meeting with five or ten minutes of meditation. Then, when moved to do so, speak from a deep place and express how you feel in the moment. Give each person a chance to talk while other members simply witness the remarks. When done, conclude the meeting with a few minutes of silence to honor your time together. Take Action! As we noted, researchers are people with their own desires and biases, and these can affect how they treat participants even if the researchers are not aware of it. This is known as experimenter bias. To eliminate this bias whenever possible, experiments should be designed so that the researchers are blind to experimental conditions -- that is, so they don't know which condition a particular participant is in. That way, there is no way for them to systematically treat any participant differently depending on what condition the participant is in. Demand characteristics Aspects of a study that give away its purpose or communicate how the participant is expected to behave. Experimenter bias The possibility that the experimenter's knowledge of the condition a particular participant is in could affect her behavior toward the participant and thereby introduce a confounding variable to the independent variable manipulation. Second, researchers often use deception to create the conditions necessary to test a hypothesis. For example, if the hypothesis is that frustration leads to aggression, a social psychologist might manipulate level of frustration and then measure aggression to test this hypothesis. You can make it a temporary condition. There are many things you can do to generate motivation and become excited to progress toward your goals and dreams once again.

From time to time, we all feel stuck. I have moments in my own life when I struggle to complete even the easiest task. In these moments, simply answering one email can become a real challenge. While writing this article, I experienced my fair share of mental blocks, and I had days when I couldn't complete much work. It would be dishonest if I didn't share this truth with you. However, from personal experience, I also know that motivation fluctuates, and that it can return as quickly as it disappeared. As you apply what you learn in this article, you'll be able to build momentum and generate more consistency in your life. Your motivation will increase and, as a result, you will be able to achieve many more of your goals than you thought possible. Heal Your Emotional Blocks As you become more connected to how you feel, there's a good chance that you might stumble upon emotional issues that need to be addressed. There may be unresolved anger or grief with a family member, or a painful memory that suddenly comes to the surface. When this happens it's important to stay connected to how you feel. Don't go back under, or attempt to ignore these feelings. As one very wise woman said on one of our Lifestyle Makeover shows: Your pain always waits for you. I would not be where I am today had I not had the support and guidance of a good therapist. I use the word good intentionally. Too many people I've worked with have had unsatisfactory experiences with therapists and end up never getting the help they deserve. When looking for a therapist, start by asking friends, family members, or those people who already provide you with some kind of health care service (doctor, physical therapist, or nurse practitioner) for referrals. The manipulation of the independent variable, frustration, would require staging some sort of frustrating experience. For example, one study (Geen, 1968) tested the frustration-aggression hypothesis by having participants try unsuccessfully to solve a puzzle that was rigged to be impossible.

THINK ABOUT Although it is clear that deception is a useful practice for conducting research, the question remains whether this kind of deliberate misrepresentation is justified. Some argue that deception is never defensible because it betrays the trust that should exist between the researcher and the research participant. Others argue that deception often is the only way to study many important psychological states and that the knowledge gained through the use of deception in research justifies the potential distress. Where do you stand? We, like the vast majority of other social psychologists, embrace the latter position. So do the APA and other legal and professional organizations that govern research in the countries where social psychology flourishes. Ethical Safeguards Do you lack motivation? Are you feeling stuck right now? When feeling stuck, you can often lose sight of the big picture and end up worrying far more than you probably need to. Therefore, I thought I would start by inviting you to take a step back, climb out of your head and examine your current situation from an objective point of view. I also thought I'd start by inspiring you, to help you feel better about yourself. However, I'm not going to do either of these things right now. I'm not even going to ask you to read this article all the way through to the end. Instead, I'm going to tell you the truth: how to unstick yourself right now by doing just one simple thing. Completing this one task alone will change your emotional state very quickly and put you back on track. I don't want you to think. When you find a therapist be sure to interview them before making a decision. Ask about their educational background and experience.

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