Where did I fll and what can I learn from it?

What were your deepest aspirations? What was your level of excitement when you started your business or career? What were you trying to accomplish and why did it matter to you? Exercise: reconnect with your vision Using your action guide, take some time to reconnect with your vision. Clarify it and seek to reignite the original spark. When you lack motivation, consider making new plans. Occasionally, I like to sit down and revise my long-term vision. The decision to make your personal development a top priority by letting your power shine through and by standing up for yourself is a courageous act. Now it's time to consciously use your fear to build even more courage and self-trust. By building these muscles you'll retrain yourself to become someone who naturally wants to face fear instead of someone who wants to avoid it. Before we start, let me tell you what this article isn't about. When I talk about building your courage muscles, I'm not suggesting that you take up bungee jumping or parachute out of a plane. While these types of activities take an enormous amount of courage, and would build your courage muscles, I want you to think even bigger. I'm talking about saying yes to your life! I want you to take those steps (large or small) that will keep you moving closer to the person you are meant to be. I want you to train yourself to face fear head-on, so you can push yourself beyond a mediocre life to a life that honors your values and highest calling. How will your fear serve you? Some people gradually shift almost entirely from their traditional culture to the beliefs and ways of the new culture, a process known as assimilation. As people assimilate, they not only embrace the new culture's ways of dressing, eating, and so on but also begin thinking in ways promoted by the new culture (Berry, 1997;

Church, 1982; Kitayama & Markus, 2000). Assimilation The process whereby people gradually shift almost entirely from their former culture to the beliefs and ways of the new culture. Most immigrants retain aspects of their former culture while adapting to the new culture, a process known as integration. Immigrants who have achieved integration are referred to as bicultural because they identify with two cultures simultaneously. It is interesting to note that research on bicultural individuals suggests that they can think and act like members of either culture, depending on which culture's language they are using or which culture's symbols are prominent in their minds. Consider a study set in Hong Kong (Hong et al. I ask myself what I really want from life, and I listen to my emotions, leaning toward what excites me. This is because I understand that creating a vision that pulls me is far more powerful than relying on willpower alone. What about you? What's pulling you? What do you want to achieve in life? Exercise: make new plans Let your imagination run wild and make sure you pay attention to any sign of excitement you may experience. Is there a goal or idea I feel particularly drawn toward? Is there anything that makes me feel really good? Is there something I feel like doing right now or can't wait to make happen in the near future? It will keep you on your toes and warn you of potential danger. Fear will help you to focus and offer you a way to recognize right from wrong.

Fear can challenge you, motivate you, and energize you to act. For example, have you ever given a presentation at work or taken a test and felt so much energy and strength afterward that you were ready to tackle something else? When you make friends with fear and step outside of your comfort zone, this zone expands. Then things that used to frighten you or seemed impossible become easier. Facing fear builds confidence and emotional strength--the strength that allows you to make a difference in the world. The more you work with fear, the more your confidence grows. Too often we hold ourselves back from taking important steps that will improve the quality of our lives, hoping that our fear will go away. For example, you might hold off on making a career change because you're afraid that you won't make as much money or be as successful doing something you love. Researchers showed participants a cartoon of one fish swimming in front of a group of other fish. If shown pictures of a cowboy and Mickey Mouse first, they explained the lead fish's behavior in terms of the characteristics of the fish, much as Westerners typically do. However, if first shown pictures of a Chinese dragon and temple, they explained the fish's behavior in terms of the situation the fish was in, as Easterners typically do. This phenomenon further attests to the ability of people to transcend the perspective of one particular cultural worldview and shift to another when exposed to that worldview as well. Integration The process whereby people retain aspects of their former culture while internalizing aspects of a new host culture. Whether individuals with a background in one culture but living in another end up assimilating, integrating, or becoming marginalized depends in part on their own choices, the strength of their initial cultural identification, and the compatibility of the two cultures. But it also depends on the attitude of the current culture toward immigrants and those with subcultural identifications (Berry, 2001). Some cultures promote a melting pot viewpoint, which assumes that all people will converge toward the mainstream culture; Other cultures value cultural diversity and promote multiculturalism, or cultural pluralism, encouraging integration (Allport, 1954). Remember, how you feel is important. Your emotions tell you a great deal about yourself and what you value the most.

Humans like to believe we act rationally but, in truth, we tend to select goals based on how they will make us feel in the future. How you feel about a goal is more important than how logical it seems. Thus, you must create an emotional connection with your goals and strengthen that connection as you progress toward it. For example, eating healthy food might make perfect sense. It can allow you to live longer, have more energy and feel better about yourself. However, it doesn't mean you're going to feel motivated to eat more healthily. Unless you have a strong reason, and one you can relate to at an emotional level, you will likely struggle to improve your diet. If you lack motivation right now, be honest with yourself. Instead you continue in your present job as if one morning you'll wake up and miraculously have the courage to try something new. If you wait for your fear to dissipate or disappear, trust me, you'll have a long wait. Anything worth doing in life will involve fear--whether it's talking to a stranger, giving a speech, or leaving a relationship that you know is holding you back. Take Action! Identify Your Fears Let's take a look at some of the things you fear that might be holding you back from doing what you want to do. Avoiding fear robs you of the rich experiences that make life meaningful. For example, there are so many people afraid to fly who dream of seeing Europe or taking their kids to Disneyland yet never will. While you might be afraid to risk rejection by asking someone to dinner, or face loneliness when you decide to move across the country to a place you've always dreamed of living, the costs of not acting are far greater. Over time, as we give in to fears such as these, our world gets smaller and smaller. Melting pot An ideological view which holds that diverse peoples within a society should converge toward the mainstream culture.

Multiculturalism (cultural pluralism) An ideological view which holds that cultural diversity is valued and that diverse peoples within a society should retain aspects of their traditional culture while adapting to the host culture. In historical terms, American culture could be characterized as having generally had a melting pot orientation with regard to European immigrants, while simultaneously having a discriminatory orientation, fostering marginalization, with regard to African Americans, Native Americans, and Hispanic Americans. Currently, the cultural diversity movement, which primarily targets societal orientations toward Blacks, Native Americans, and Hispanics, is attempting to move American culture toward a multicultural orientation. If it succeeds, it may eventually help shift members of these groups from marginalization to integration (Moghaddam, 1988). SOCIAL PSYCH AT THE MOVIES Black Robe, directed by Bruce Beresford (Eberts et al. In the 1600s, Jesuit priests traveled from France to what is now Quebec to help convert the Huron tribe to Christianity. Do you have a strong emotional connection with your goals? If not, strengthen your why by reframing your goals or replacing them with more exciting ones. Remember, your why becomes more powerful when aligned with your personality, values and vision. So, why is your goal important to you? How will it change your life once you achieve it? Let's assume you want to create an online business. Why is this important? Is it just to make money or is there something more? If it's for the money, you'll probably give up when you fail to obtain the results you want quickly enough. However, if you have strong emotional reasons, you are more likely to persevere during the tough times. Before you know it, years have flown by and you're left with a whole lot of regrets. As a matter of fact, I've seen the direct correlation between a life held back by fear and the dread of approaching birthdays or other milestone dates like New Year's Eve.