Either increase or decrease the stimulation in your environment

In Western cultures, the aforementioned sun-earth relationship is one; Some beliefs seem self-evidently true to one culture but may be vigorously disputed or rejected outright in another. For example, in some cultures, belief in an afterlife is widely accepted, whereas in others, it is not. Beliefs are generally taken on faith and based on learning from parents, teachers, and other cultural authorities rather than being derived through specific personal experience. After all, if we relied only on personal experience, all but a few scientists and astronauts would believe that the sun revolves around the earth, as the vast majority of people once did. The fact that we hold these and thousands of other beliefs on faith is a perfect example of how culture helps people in a group to create a shared sense of reality. Members of a culture tend to share similar attitudes, which are preferences, likes and dislikes, and opinions about what is good and bad. Attitudes are closely linked to beliefs, but they refer more specifically to how people evaluate something as good or bad. Why not value your time more and say no to requests that aren't the best use of your time? At first, it might feel uncomfortable to say no without offering lame excuses, but I encourage you to try it out. If you find it difficult to assert yourself, this exercise will help you immensely. If you struggle to say no, an effective way to work on your assertiveness is to use role play. Role-playing has been shown to be effective in many different fields, especially sales. Anything you practice saying by yourself--or better, with someone else--becomes easier to say in real life. To practice, envision a specific situation when you want to say no. Perhaps it is when one of your colleagues ask you for a favor. Or perhaps it is when a friend wants you to attend a party. Now, imagine what you would say in this specific situation. When there, he then has them create an affirmation to support this vision. Once his clients have developed a firm vision of their success, Charles instructs them to purchase a package of at least five hundred toothpicks.

The clients then use these toothpicks by shifting them one at a time from one pocket to another while repeating their affirmation and visualizing their fitness goal. When a client has gone through one whole package, he has them repeat the process one more time. Charles has learned from experience that it takes one thousand reps to set the vision firmly in the client's mind. Retraining your mind ensures that you use your power wisely. To determine the quality of your thoughts you need only pay attention to your emotions. Your feelings always follow your thought patterns. For example, I've learned to stop and ask myself the following question the moment I feel a sense of disharmony: Does this way of thinking serve me? For example, a group of people may share the belief that abortion is legal in the United States, but their attitude toward the legalization of abortion could be favorable or unfavorable. A culture's values reflect its members' guiding principles and shared goals. Although cultures differ in their values, Shalom Schwartz and colleagues (eg, Schwartz, 1992) have shown that cultures around the world recognize 10 core values (TABLE 2. These values can be viewed as stemming from the two basic motivational orientations mentioned earlier in this article: security and growth. The values security, tradition, conformity, benevolence, and universalism reflect a desire to sustain safety, order, harmony, meaning, connection, and approval. In contrast, the values self-direction, stimulation, hedonism, achievement, and power involve freedom, choice, excitement, enjoyment, accomplishment, and influence over others. Benevolence. Preserving and enhancing the welfare of those with whom one is in frequent personal contact; Self-direction. Independent thought and action; See yourself actually saying it. Practice saying it out loud.

The simple fact of having rehearsed your answer in your mind will help you when the situation arises in reality. Rather than saying no, you can also offer alternatives when necessary. I find this method effective when I don't want to say no, can't say no or simply want to modify the request so it works better for me. For instance, let's say someone asks you to attend a party and you don't want to go. You could say something like, I don't feel like going tonight, but we can have lunch together tomorrow, if you're free. Of course, that's providing you actually do want to meet that person. This alternative may come handy especially if you're an introvert. Removing tasks you do reluctantly If my way of thinking does not support my emotional health, I immediately shift my thoughts to something that does. For example, I might focus on a specific word like balance, or love, or I might use a phrase like move on, or all is well. Rather than trying to figure out why I'm not feeling well, I simply focus my energy on raising my thoughts to a level of health and well-being that serves me. Long ago I learned an important lesson about dealing with negativity from a meditation teacher. She used the following analogy: Imagine your mind as a beautiful antique cup. When this cup is filled with negative thoughts, trying to remove them will waste precious energy and only give them more power. Instead, put your energy into filling the cup with positive thoughts so that the negativity just spills out. So, when I'm feeling frustrated, down, or filled with self-doubt, I have three or four favorite articles that I turn to when I want a dose of inspiration or power-inducing thoughts! Decide on a daily practice that you'll use to retrain your mind. Purchase a package of stickers or toothpicks to get you started. Universalism. Understanding, appreciation, tolerance, and protection of the welfare of all people and of nature.

Advocating for justice, peace, and respect for other people and the environment. Safety, harmony, and stability of society, of relationships, and of self. Maintaining social order; Conformity. Restraint of actions, inclinations, and impulses likely to upset or harm others and violate social expectations or norms. Obeying authorities; Self-discipline; Achievement. To declutter your schedule and reduce stress, it is also essential for you to remove tasks you do reluctantly during the day. These are often the tasks that generate the most stress. If they are part of your job, you might not be able to remove all of them, but you can probably eliminate at least a few. As you do so, you'll make your day easier and will have more time and energy to dedicate to things that truly matter to you. Exercises: eliminate unpleasant tasks Create the following table in your action guide: In the first column write down all the unpleasant tasks you have to perform on a regular basis. Revisit your day mentally. It will help you make sure you don't forget anything. If it helps, ask yourself, If I were to eliminate some tasks, which ones would increase my peace of mind and boost my mood most dramatically? As simple as this exercise may sound, those who do it can attest to how effective it is. Keep a couple of your favorite articles nearby too.

The goal is to take charge of your mind! Take Action! Make Peace with Your Inner Critic The next step in retraining your mind is to make peace with your inner critic. There are a couple of effective ways to actually use the energy and wisdom of your inner critic to your advantage. For example, years ago, while taking a workshop with Henriette Klauser, author of Writing on Both Sides of the Brain, I learned an important lesson about dealing with my inner critic. During a writing exercise Henriette asked us to engage in a written dialogue with our inner critic as soon as we came in contact with its noise. She suggested that we use the following questions to open a dialogue: Personal success through demonstrating competence according to social standards. Being ambitious and feeling competent. Pleasure and sensuous gratification for oneself. Enjoying life. Stimulation. Excitement, novelty, and challenge in life. Respect, commitment, and acceptance of the customs and ideas that traditional culture or religion provide the self. Accepting one's role and observing cultural norms, customs, and rituals. Being devout and humble; Social status and prestige; In the second column write down what you could do about it. For instance, you might be able to delegate the task in some way, spend less time doing it or eliminate it altogether.