Saturday, 31 October 2020

How can I connect and build community in this moment?

Too often, we pretend everything is okay when, in reality, we would be better off acknowledging the hard time we're suffering. If you're having challenges in your life right now, do what you can to solve them, but also acknowledge your struggles and give yourself words of encouragement. Exercise: cultivate self-compassion The best way to experience the benefit of self-compassion is to practice it. To do so, I invite you to undertake a 7-day compassion challenge. For the next seven days, wherever possible, refrain from criticizing yourself. To help you become aware of your negative self-talk, I encourage you to wear a rubber band around your wrist and to snap it whenever you notice any self-criticism. Then, give yourself words of encouragement. Support the dreams and goals of others by offering to participate in a brainstorming session or by providing helpful resources. When a friend, family member, or colleague has the courage to share a dream or desire, underscore the strengths of their plan and the qualities they possess that will allow them to make it a reality. Refrain from sharing any criticism or negativity. Shine a light on what works instead of citing potential blocks. Learn to look for and acknowledge the strengths and talents in others. For example, when visiting with friends, talk about what's working in your life and encourage others to do the same. I still remember Helen Chen, the woman who evaluated my first speech at Toastmasters almost fifteen years ago. And I remember her for a reason--she was a positive, powerful influence in my life. You can have that kind of influence on someone's life too. Now that you know that everything you say and do could have an enormous positive impact on the future of someone close to you, how will you behave differently? Thinking About People and Events Text reads: Topic Overview: Remembering Things Past (article 124).

Inferring Cause and effect in the Social World (article 131). Forming Impressions of People (article 147). What If, If Only: Counterfactual Thinking (article 156). Topic Overview Remembering Things Past Inferring Cause and Effect in the Social World Forming Impressions of People What If, If Only: Counterfactual Thinking They could be something like: I know you're struggling right now, but you're doing the best you can. You're doing okay. Everybody goes through challenging times once in a while. I'm proud of you. Even though you feel the urge to criticize yourself, you still make an effort to be kinder to yourself. Don't get too caught up with the exact words you should use. Your intention to be gentle with yourself is what matters the most. Over time, you'll find the right words to encourage yourself and show yourself the compassion you deserve. Remember, you're not alone. Take Action! Lift a Spirit

Make a conscious decision to support one person. Choose that person and write his or her name here: Next, how will you support this person? List three examples of what you can do here, and put a date by when you will do each one. Also, put a reminder on your calendar! Spend a little extra time with a coworker who could use your help on a difficult project. Make a point to acknowledge the strength of one family member or friend everyday. You might simply become a friendly face for an elderly neighbor who lives alone by dropping in to say hello, or by doing a few chores like changing a lightbulb or picking something up at the grocery store. Imagine that classes have ended. You are driving and listening to your favorite song. As you make a left turn, a red sports car in the oncoming lane of traffic comes straight toward you at a high speed and hits the back side of your car. With your mood ruined, you pop out of your car, relieved no one was hurt but upset and confused. The other driver jumps out of his car and is adamant that you cut him off. You claim he was speeding and that it was his fault. The police are called to investigate what happened. This situation and the subsequent crime-scene investigation would involve four essential ways people typically make sense of the world: We rely on our ability to recall events from the past (memory). We make inferences about what causes other people's behavior (causal attributions). We are all in the same boat. Practice daily gratitude

Many people take things for granted and fail to appreciate all the things they already have in their lives. They continuously seek to have more, even though they have little appreciation for what they currently have. They keep chasing an illusory sense of happiness and, sadly, never find it. How much time do you spend each day celebrating the little things in your life? How much importance do you give to each day when you wake in the morning? The truth is, you live in more luxury than even kings and queens did just a century ago. You have access to electricity, water and many other services. You have a roof over your head and food on the table. While I know that most of us have busy lives, let's not forget what really matters--our connection to one another. In addition to supporting the success and well-being of one another, the most important way to create a future where every human being is able to fulfill their greatest potential is to invest in the personal and spiritual development of our children. By using these skills to influence the lives of younger generations we will move toward creating a more peaceful and sustainable world. Let's look at some of the practical ways in which we can all make a difference in the lives of children. EMPOWERING OUR CHILDREN One of the most significant contributions we can make to the world is to empower our children to lead their own lives. You can do this by modeling the skills that you've learned throughout this program, and by offering guidance that will build a young person's confidence and self-esteem. Whether you are a parent, aunt, uncle, teacher, or grandparent, increase your awareness of the rules that you reinforce. You can start with the rules I referred to in the introduction. To refresh your memory, they are: We form impressions of other people, often on the basis of limited information (person perception). We imagine alternatives to the events we experience (counterfactual thinking).

An investigation of the fender bender would involve retrieving memories for what happened, making determinations of what or who caused the accident, forming an impression of those involved in the accident, and considering how things might have happened differently. When we try to figure out who was at fault in a fender bender, we rely on basic ways of making sense of the world. We use these same cognitive processes every day to make sense of the world around us. And, unlike a police detective, our cognitive system often engages these processes automatically and without any taxpayer expense! Remembering Things Past Learning Outcomes Explain how memories are formed. Describe evidence which shows that memories are often reconstructions rather than objective facts. You have easy access to all the knowledge in the world. And you can even visit countries all over the world by getting in a weird flying tube called an airplane. Isn't this completely extraordinary and totally wonderful? While you probably realize you should feel grateful, you might have difficulties experiencing it at an emotional level. This is because gratitude isn't something you can intellectualize, it is something you must feel. This is why you must practice gratitude daily. As the business philosopher, Jim Rohn, wrote, Our emotions need to be as educated as our intellect. I found this idea to be very true. Now, let's consider a few exercises you can do to experience more gratitude in your life. Thanking people Each day we have an opportunity in small ways to encourage these new rules. My sister Donna reinforces the rules Don't be modest and Be enthusiastic with her two boys, Tommy and John.

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