Be A Moment Maker

Or the person who stays at a secure job in spite of the void he or she feels inside from not expressing their true talents or gifts. As the old saying goes: The devil you know is better than the devil you don't know. Fortunately, I don't buy that. SPIRITUAL STANDARDS Now that you're well on your way to standing up for your life, there's one last skill to develop: the ability to honor a set of spiritual standards that will support you in becoming very choosy about what you allow into your life. Spiritual standards are the rules or guidelines you put in place to honor your spirit--the essence of who you are. They are your gold standard. By using them as a guide you ensure a greater quality of life. It is as though we were on autopilot. Think about how you can brush your teeth, drive home from work, or go through the grocery checkout lane without much thought. Such automatization of behaviors is highly adaptive because it allows us to accomplish goals while saving our mental energy. But what happens when we encounter a novel challenge that our automatized routine is not prepared to handle? Imagine that you are brushing your teeth with your electronic toothbrush, just as you've done every day for the past few years, and all of a sudden the toothbrush stops working. Your experiential system won't be able to handle this situation if it hasn't learned about toothbrush malfunction. Fortunately, the cognitive system is designed to override the experiential system in these situations, applying controlled processes of reasoning and decision making to solve unexpected problems to help you reach your goals. However, three conditions must be met in order for the cognitive system to successfully override the experiential system: We are aware that controlled processes are necessary either to get the job done or to counteract automatic processes that are not working as they should. For example, you consciously have to remind yourself to stop by the drugstore to pick up a new toothbrush battery because your automatic tendency will be to drive straight home. The reason many people fail to achieve the results they want is due to fear. Jumping from one opportunity to the other serves as an excuse to avoid the hard work.

This is like people who spend hours looking for the best productivity hacks while putting off the most important tasks they should be focusing on. You may feel stuck because you're trying to move away from your fears. This is one reason you see many people who, after having read countless articles, are still stuck in the exact same situation they started in. Remember this: action cures fear. While there are other techniques to overcome your fears, Nike's motto, Just do it, might be one of the most effective ones. Although it might sound like a cliche, it really does work. What about you? Are you taking all the actions you should be taking right now? When these standards are respected, you bring your highest self to each life experience. You protect your time and energy by becoming more selective. This may feel a bit uncomfortable as you learn to want more for yourself than you've wanted before. This is why most of us get in our own way when it comes to accepting great things into our lives. We settle for less, fill up our time and space with too much stuff, and cling to what's mediocre out of a fear of losing what we have. When we finally get up enough courage to hold out for something better we're usually well rewarded for our effort. In order to pass up good for great you'll need to develop the patience and emotional strength to sit with wanting something that's good (like a new job) while you pursue something that's great (the right job that utilizes your best talents and skills). This will be challenging at first. We live in a society that reinforces a need for instant gratification. Fortunately, the more you use patience, the more patience you'll have, and the easier it will be to hold on until that which is in your highest interest appears. We are motivated to exert control over our thoughts and behaviors. You need to care enough about getting your toothbrush fixed to change your usual habit of driving home.

We have the ability to consider our thoughts and actions at a more conscious level because controlled processes require more mental effort. Sometimes we do not have enough cognitive resources to engage controlled ways of thinking. In these cases, the need for closure kicks in, usually leading us to think and act in ways that are familiar and automatic. For example, after a long, exhausting day studying at the library, you may be more likely to fall back on unconscious routines and habits (such as driving straight home) rather than working toward new, consciously chosen goals (such as getting that new toothbrush battery) even if you're aware that you need to remind yourself and are motivated to do so. By knowing that these three conditions must be in place for the cognitive system to operate, researchers have a powerful way of testing dual process theories in the laboratory. If the cognitive system's style of deliberate, effortful thinking requires awareness, motivation, and ability, then when people are put into situations where one or more of these conditions is missing, the cognitive system will lose its control over thinking and behavior. For example, if people are asked to memorize a long series of numbers, they lose the ability to focus attention on difficult decisions. In these situations, the experiential system takes over because it can operate automatically without awareness, motivation, and ability; Most people pursue goals without being committed to them. They buy a article or program already knowing it's not going to work for them. However, by thinking this way, they've already failed before even getting started. Trouble is, they might not even be aware of it. Commitment is a powerful force. Unfortunately, few people take advantage of it. As we'll see later, committing to something and being held accountable to it is an effective way to maintain momentum and achieve your goals. To be effective, a commitment requires that you set a specific goal that feels right to you. You also need to establish a clear deadline for its achievement. Now, before you commit to something, you must be honest with yourself and listen to your inner being. Learning to pass up good for great also means that you'll have a chance to strengthen your faith in a power greater than yourself. There will be plenty of times when it's necessary to pass on good without knowing what great will be.

While this will be difficult at first, it provides you with an important opportunity to surrender your willfulness and witness the amazing gift that having faith in a Divine presence has to offer. As I've learned to honor my standards by passing up good for great a Divine force has opened unimaginable doors to accelerate the progress of my personal and professional growth. I've seen this same principle operate in the lives of my clients too. In order to help her honor her spiritual standards, my client Anna decided to surround herself with people who were also engaged in their inner work. To do this she was challenged to end a good relationship to make space for one that was more aligned with her standards for a great relationship--one that was deeply fulfilling. Although it was difficult, once she made peace with her decision and mustered the courage to let it go, a new, healthier relationship appeared at just the right time. As you make the choice to honor your spiritual standards by passing up good for great, a Divine presence often delivers more than you could ever imagine. While we each have our own unique set of spiritual standards, I've come to see a pattern of standards that are shared by those clients who successfully lead their lives. Throughout this article we will see how researchers have used this reasoning to test dual process theories of diverse phenomena. The Smart Unconscious Although it is tempting to view the conscious, rational cognitive system as the essence of human intelligence and the experiential unconscious as more primitive, in actuality, the unconscious is quite smart in at least five ways (FIGURE 3. For one, the basic motives that we said earlier guide social cognition--the needs to make decisions accurately, quickly, or that confirm our preferred beliefs--are largely unconscious. People rarely seem to be aware that these motivations are influencing their judgments and behavior. Second, during sleep, our cognitive system shuts down, but our unconscious stays busy consolidating memories--that is, organizing and solidifying what we've learned and experienced (Diekelmann & Born, 2010). Third, studies of influential artists and scientists show that flashes of creative insight can arise spontaneously from the unconscious (although usually after a period of extensive conscious deliberation on the task at hand; Cattell, 1971; Csikszentmihalyi, 1996; Wallas, 1926). You must pay attention to any sign of resistance you may experience. Resistance is usually the result of at least one of the following three things:

Lack of clarity: You're unsure of what you're trying to achieve or don't know how to achieve it. Thus, you can't commit to the actions required to achieve it. Lack of passion: Your goal doesn't feel quite right to you. Perhaps this is because your goal is misaligned with your values or purpose. If you don't feel drawn toward your goal, you will struggle to remain motivated in the long run. Lack of belief: Deep down, you don't feel as though you can accomplish your set goal. If this is the case, you need to lower your target or extend your deadline. You want your level of confidence in your ability to achieve your goal to be at least a 7 out of 10. These universal standards are: I center my life around my values. I strive to live a life of integrity where my thoughts, words, and actions are aligned with my spiritual self. I surround myself with people who are committed to their own inner work. I engage in work that reflects my values and inspires me to be my best. I make my emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being a top priority. I respect others and resist the temptation to judge them based on my standards or beliefs. I am committed to living a life that serves a greater purpose. Take Action! Define Your Spiritual Standards The Smart Unconscious There are five ways the unconscious is smart.