Saturday, 31 October 2020

My trust in my spouse

The same thought process lies behind your decisions about what college to attend, what car to buy, whom to date, or even whether to get Cap'n Crunch or Cookie Crisp cereal for breakfast: How will the different options available to you make you feel down the road (DeWall, Baumeister, Chester, & Bushman, 2016)? This is a sensible strategy insofar as your predictions, or forecasts, are accurate, but how accurate are they? Research on affective forecasting reveals that our predictions of our emotional reactions to potential future events are often off base (Wilson & Gilbert, 2005). This doesn't mean that mental time travel isn't a valuable tool; It means that, like a lousy meteorologist, we're often wrong about how we're going to feel later on. Affective forecasting Predicting one's emotional reactions to potential future events. These predictions are often inaccurate. This occurrence leads to the next samadhi known as Nirbija samadhi. One can deduct from the sutra that at this level, the yogi comes to terms with emptiness existing between moments in time. This is the highest samadhi obtained at the moment of biological death. In classic Hindu literature, this samadhi is described as a state where the mind progressively abandons the concept of both meditator and meditation. The effect of this samadhi is the cessation and conversion of all Karma stored up over immeasurable lives and the evolution of pure Dharma ( ? The Difference Between Sabija and Nirbija Samadhi Patanjali divided samadhi into two main types; Sabija and Nirbija. Sabija samadhi is also called samadhi with seeds or lower samadhi and has nine sutras dedicated to its understanding in the sutras of Patanjali (sutras 1. In contrast, Nirbija samadhi (without seeds) has only one sutra that explains the apex of all samadhi. On days where you feel demotivated or are having a bad day, read through your journal and breathe in all the things, experiences, and people that are good in your life. This will help shift our negative biases to positive states of mind.

It builds more resilience to not give up even after our toughest days. Count your blessings. Take time to reflect on your life and recall the blessings you've received from others or a higher power. You may be grateful for vibrant health, a thriving career or the financial abundance to buy a beautiful home, traveling across the globe, or being able to donate to your favorite charity. Also, take time to reflect on your hardships or challenges, such as divorce, job loss, or illness, and identify the blessing or gift of each experience. This will help train your brain to assign a more positive outlook on negative experiences and transmute regrets and resentments into wisdom, gratefulness, and the motivation to achieve your dreams. Express your appreciation. Think about the people who've impacted your life in a positive way. Freshman students moving into their dorm. Dunn, Wilson, and Gilbert (2003) studied the accuracy of affective forecasting by taking advantage of a naturally occurring experiment that happens on college campuses every year: the random assignment of students to dorms and other housing options. In the spring of their freshman year, college students were presented with a list of dorm and housing options and asked to predict how happy they would be if they were assigned to a desirable housing location or an undesirable housing location. As you might expect, students said they'd be much happier if they were assigned to one of the more desirable houses. However, one year later, students did not differ in their level of happiness, regardless of where they were housed. Their earlier predictions had been inaccurate. Students in the desirable houses had overestimated how happy they would be, and students in the undesirable houses had overestimated how miserable they would be. Similar studies show that when people predict how they will feel after suffering a harsh insult or watching their favorite sports team lose an important game, they anticipate that the painful sting of these unpleasant events will be greater than it is and will last longer than it does (eg, Gilbert et al. Why do these errors in affective forecasting happen? One explanation is that we often overestimate the impact of a salient factor, such as where a given dorm is located on campus or how big the rooms are. Sabija Samadhi The emphasis Patanjali places on sabija is a warning about the many ways things could go wrong once one becomes careless meditating at any point in sabija samadhi.

Sabija requires commitment and vigilance in immersing the mind with purity. Purity here is developed by practicing selflessness, compassion and dispassion, and kindness. Sabija also involves mind discipline and finding a balance between yogi meditation and day to day living. Mental stupor and inertia are hard to avoid or detect during sabija samadhi, which is why in the sutra, Patanjali urges us to rid our minds of tamas (burden, inertia) and fill it with sattva (purity, light). Sabija samadhi is associated with prajna (intuition, wisdom). As one practices meditation, the mind sharpens so it becomes easier to distinguish good from evil and final decisions are doubt-free. There will no longer be a fear of the unknown as you walk on the path of attaining self-mastery. In sutra 1. This may be your family, for their unconditional support; Write a thank-you note, surprise them with a gift, or call them to express your gratitude and appreciation. This will open your heart as well as strengthen your relationships. Engage in random acts of kindness. Have you ever received an unexpected gift or kind gesture from someone? I remember driving through a toll bridge in Northern California only to find that a stranger had already paid for my fee. Although it happened years ago, I'm still grateful for this person's generosity. Find creative ways to randomly express kindness to your neighbors, to strangers, or to the people who support you throughout the year, like your gardener or health practitioner. Practice radical acceptance. During challenging times, we may feel helpless, frustrated, worried, and anxious. In so doing, we don't think about the other factors that will likely influence our future emotions, such as whom we are paired to room with or critical life events that could swamp any small inconvenience of geography (Schkade & Kahneman, 1998; Wilson et al.

Another reason is that when we forecast our affect, we tend to underestimate how successful we are at coping with negative emotions that arise. Our shoddy affective forecasts are more than just bugs in our cognitive system; For one, overestimating future negative reactions may stop us from taking chances for fear that things won't work out. We might not ask someone out, for example, because of the anticipated pain of being rebuffed (which probably won't be as agonizing as we predict). Affective forecasts can even make us more likely to act unethically. Participants given a series of opportunities to cheat, such as lie about the outcome of a private coin flip to get a payoff, were almost three times more likely to cheat at the end of that series than earlier (Effron et al. Because as they realized their cheating opportunities were coming to an end, they forecasted regretting not bending the rules a bit to get ahead (This is my last chance to sneak a little extra payment! Making Better Forecasts In this sutra, Patanjali explains how intuitive wisdom in Rtam (eternal laws and cosmic order) resides in sabija samadhi so that the illuminative insight from rtam helps one see the seeds (bija) of samskara (impressions of past actions) or karmic deeds. Samskaras can be painful or delightful. The discerning mind in sabija picks up which seeds are nurtured, and which should be discarded. Vairagya enhances this stage. Sabija samadhi is the most dynamic stage of the journey to enlightenment. The mind's potentials are awakened, single-pointed, and filled with rtam, so it discovers it has been gifted a body to serve the soul and knows to what extent human desires should be fulfilled, disciplined, or withheld. This revelation of higher truth is the distinctive trait of sabija samadhi. Nirbija Samadhi The yogi in nirbija has no seeds of meditation. He is the sole object of their search. We may not know how to manage our life or global circumstances. A useful mindful--and business prioritization--practice is to assess which things are in your control and which are out of your control.

For those things within your control, write down what action you can take to resolve the situation. For those things out of your control, let go of the worry or find a way to influence and make the situation better. If it's difficult to let go of the situation and move on, it means you have some level of resistance to the situation. When this happens, leverage this radical acceptance practice: Notice the resistance. You can label your emotions to give space to the reactivity such as: this feeling is anger, fear, disappointment, worry, or frustration. You may need to do this practice multiple times until you feel peace in your heart or work with a qualified coach or therapist. Loving-kindness meditation: A transformative way to cultivate a kind, grateful and compassionate heart is to practice the loving-kindness meditation. Can we do anything to increase the accuracy of our affective forecasting? Asking people to think broadly about future events that can influence their affective reactions, rather than narrowly on just one anticipated event, is a good place to start. For example, college football fans at the University of Virginia and Virginia Tech were asked to predict how happy they would be for a week after their team won or lost a game between the two schools (Wilson et al. A subset of these participants was also asked to make a diary planner of their upcoming week (the week after the game) and indicate how much time they would spend on different activities. Students who did not make a diary planner overestimated the duration of their happiness with a win and the extent of their misery with a loss. In contrast, students who had been asked to indicate their activities over the coming week did not commit this forecasting error. Instead, because they listed all the activities that would be keeping them busy, they were more aware of how these other events would make them feel and, as a result, minimized their focus on the outcome of the football game. SECTION REVIEW Self-Regulation: Here's What the I Can Do for You The ability to self-regulate is fundamentally based on three key capacities of the human mind. We are self-aware. The yogi's realm of nirbija is achieved with the ability to see all objects in the realm of prakriti, including themselves, as they are. The difference between sabija and nirbija is that the former requires the presence of an item (seed) whose reality must be realized.

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