Cultivate your Providers

The researchers believe these results reflect the parents' different and unique cultural values. What harm would it do to give me the information? YOU: It would harm the property rights of our customer. We must respect and protect those, as we respect and protect yours. The information simply is not mine to give. Keep your reply to requests for confidential information brief: YOU: That information is confidential. CUSTOMER: Oh, really . YOU: We must respect the confidentiality. We've promised to. Explaining to a Customer That You Can't Lend Equipment The loop begins--my irritability comes out of me in words, and then the people I want to nourish the most get irritable, and then I'm just more irritable. So I pause. I sit to write. I take a shower. I read my goddamn Melody Beattie codependency daily reflection articles. Then I try not to overthink What's wrong with me? PRAYER FOR SHAME AND GUILT LET SHAME FALL AWAY! SHAME IN THE LITTLE THINGS WILL WEAR YOU OUT

YOU ARE A MIRACLE! Parents in the US emphasise the importance of stimulation, exposing their kids to a wide variety of new experiences to promote independence. Dutch parents, on the other hand, are more likely to incorporate children into activities at home, attaching more importance to rest, regularity and niksen. BRUSH YOUR TEETH TOGETHER An ideal self-care exercise that is also a shared experience, teeth-brushing will help both you and your brushing buddy find a peaceful moment to be together in harmony. This is something that's already part of everyone's daily routine, and a therapeutic ritual that perfectly readies us all for bed. A NIKS STATE OF MIND Congratulations! You're well on your way to a happy, niksen-filled life. You've learned how to set priorities, carve out more free time in your schedule, and be smarter about managing your own moments of niksen. In this final article, we look at how to successfully build up and sustain the practice of doing nothing. Lending equipment, when feasible, can be useful in building stronger relationships with your customers; Most customers will understand this, and there is no need to be overly apologetic. It is important, though, to explain why the equipment cannot be loaned. Don't let this decision come across as arbitrary. Above all, do not make mindless reference to company policy. Give a current, pressing, immediate reason rather than a reference to a standing rule. As with other situations in which you find that you have to say no, try to offer alternatives. TIP: Avoid complaining about your company's rules or saying something like the boss won't let us. Such remarks are unprofessional and reflect well on neither you nor your organization.

YOUR SCRIPT: TELLING A CUSTOMER YOU CAN'T LEND EQUIPMENT PAUSE FOR FIVE MINUTES TODAY JUST TO BE QUIET, JUST TO BE STILL, JUST TO SAY THANK YOU SAY THANK YOU TO YOURSELF, FOR STAYING ANOTHER DAY When I am spiraling, I remember: A simple day of witnessing Earth is a true miracle! It's miraculous, y'all, just to be here on the spinning rock, and I promise to keep remembering this simple joy amidst the crushing darkness! You are working so hard at all of this. At self-awareness, at staying on the beam. Making it easy for ourselves is an amazing way to stay connected and committed to self. Exploring ways to release the shame of pleasure and reward and magic of ease--with this knowing that by creating ease for ourselves, we just might be able to create ease for others. Experiencing the world is not easy--it simply is not. How to Do Nothing You have scheduled time and given yourself permission to do nothing, but the act itself may feel awkward at first. Counterintuitive even, if you're used to doing something all the time. Start with a few minutes, push through the discomfort, and work up to an hour or more a day. Try the following exercises to help you cross the threshold. Active relaxation exercises If you are restless and constantly dragged along by your raging thoughts, you can distract your mind by adding some movement to your relaxation ritual. This can be an easy walk around town, a form of `moving meditation' such as yoga or tai chi, or a muscle relaxation exercise (see here). Passive relaxation exercises

Keep your body in relaxation mode and focus on what you can hear, feel, see and smell. You've been asked to lend equipment to a customer, who is willing to rent the equipment from you; YOU: John, I'm sorry, but that equipment is 100 percent in use on our own production. CUSTOMER: I'm really in a bind. YOU: I appreciate that. And that is exactly where my company would be if I took any of our equipment out of production right now. But maybe I can help in another way. I can give you some contact numbers to call. Some of these folks may have equipment available. Turning Down a Request for Rush Order/Service If you can embrace an opportunity to go the extra mile for a customer, do so. Most people reading this article picked it up because they have not or have never had an easy time, moreso than others. It is rare that a white, straight cis man reads or interacts with my work. If this is your identity and you are reading this--WELCOME! WE NEED YOU! We need you to do this work with us and stay soft and tend to your femininity and tender masculinity. However, most of you who read this are: Working-class Neurodivergent And any combination of the above

I love you! Our senses are great tools with which to get deeper into relaxation. You could also do a body scan (see overleaf), have a massage, listen to classical music, do a visualisation exercise (see here), or watch the moving leaves of a tree or the clouds roll by as you let your mind meander. SENSORY BODY SCAN This is a classic relaxation exercise that can help you arrive in a niksen state of mind after a busy day, and allows you to process the messages your body is trying to send to you. Use the body scan as a bridge between your daily commitments and personal downtime. With a relaxed feeling and a quietened mind, it becomes much easier to sink into moments of niksen. You can do this scan while walking if you want to make it active, but below we'll focus on doing it while lying down. STEP 1 Find a quiet spot outside. The sounds, scents and feel of your surroundings will help you stay awake: the breeze that caresses your face, the smell of fresh-mown grass. STEP 2 Place your hands on your belly and focus on your breathing. Nothing creates satisfaction more efficiently and effectively than a demonstration of extra effort. But, of course, resources are finite, and you can't stretch for each and every customer all of the time. STEP 1: Express regret that you cannot provide the rush service requested. STEP 2: Explain why you cannot. STEP 3: Offer what you can. STEP 4: Emphasize that you are being realistic, that you do not want to mislead the customer with empty, feel-good promises. STEP 5: Thank the customer for her understanding. YOUR SCRIPT: DENYING A REQUEST FOR RUSH SERVICE Here is a sample reply to a request for rush service: