List four important requests your spouse asks of you

For those needing to slow down, qigong, yin, or restorative yoga can help regulate stress hormones, calm the busy mind, and enhance overall well-being. See Key #3. Do a digital fast. Go device-free. Do a digital fast from social media, texting, online videos, and all electronics. Engage in mindfulness meditation and activities that bring you deep nourishment and joy, such as a weekend getaway, meditation retreat, creative project, playing an instrument, or a digital-free hobby. Journal: For about fifteen minutes without stopping, write down what you are thinking, feeling, and worrying about. Let your monkey mind run wild. The line graph plots the amount of physiological arousal of participants on provocation and no provocation, in case of low arousal and high arousal. The y-axis of the graph ranges from 0 to 6, in increments of 1. SOCIAL PSYCH AT THE MOVIES The Self Lost or Found in Black Swan The 2010 film Black Swan, directed by Darren Aronofsky (Medavoy et al. The film is set in the intense subculture of ballet, which idealizes perfection in physical movement and form, especially for women. In this way, the ballet world represents the broader cultural tendencies to view the female body as an object and pressure women to live up to idealized beauty standards. The film's protagonist, Nina, played by Natalie Portman, is a somewhat uptight and self-conscious ballerina who has attained great technical skill but is being pushed by her director to be more carnal and less repressed both on and off stage. Only if she can properly lose herself in her role will she be ready for the lead in Swan Lake. Nina struggles either to find or lose herself within a world where she is defined by the people around her. Deep sleep or rest is a vritti characterized by the absence of mental content. It is considered vritti because you can admit to enjoying a good sleep after a long day or not having enough sleep.

Rest is an experience where human consciousness can remain alert while remaining in your memory as a label, one that when you wake translates into an experience. Right knowledge or Pramana (Sanskrit: ? Perception, in this case, is determined using the testimony of mouth (agamah), direct cognition or perception (pratyaksa), and inference or deduction (anumana). Misconception or Delusion or Viparyaya (Sanskrit: ? Viparyaya is a Sanskrit word meaning reversal, non-existence, or misapprehension. This vritti is a thought pattern born out of the human mind's machinations and can be disputed or nullified with evidence, enlightenment, or the right perception. Viparyaya is the darkness that clouds the mind, preventing it from distinguishing between fallacy and reality. Memory or Smriti (Sanskrit: ? Don't hold back. When we write down our thoughts, complaints, and insecurities, we settle our minds. We can identify common patterns and address challenges with more objectivity and resilience. Apply your insights to your everyday life. Now that you understand how to master the monkey mind, we will explore how to build emotional resilience and a courageous heart during stressful and challenging situations. Reflections Resilience is about adapting to challenging times and having the S arita was an emerging leader working on a technology collaboration team. She was strategic, energetic, loyal, emotionally intelligent and known for her authenticity, direct communication, and getting things done. Her direct communication style was her superpower. In one sense, Nina's view of herself is a construction of how others see her, shaped by reflected appraisals. Her overbearing mother, played by Barbara Hershey, resents that she was forced to give up a dancing career to be a mother.

She tries to rediscover her own identity either by driving her daughter's dancing ambitions or by obsessively painting her self-portrait. But she also tries to protect the innocence of her little girl, fawning over her and blocking her transition to adulthood. As a result, Nina lacks self-clarity. Nina's director, played by Vincent Cassel, sees her only as an object of art and of desire. To him, the two roles of the White Swan and the Black Swan represent two categories that women can occupy: the virgin or the whore. Reflecting a way in which people often buy into the stereotypical roles that society offers, Nina seems to accept this duality. Rather than express any unique perspective of her own, she struggles to find the darker drives that will enable her to embody the Black Swan role. And when she is given the role she so desperately wants, she calls her mother and says, He picked me, mommy! This is the consequence of all the other vrittis. Memory signifies the refusal to let go of an experience, subject, image, or object. Like the other vritti, memories and impressions can be painful or pleasurable. Each memory creates samskara (imprints) in mind, manifesting as a recollection of a memory. Each new image, object, subject, or occurrence acts as a catalyst that activates other stored experiences and may cause pain or pleasure depending on what recollection it triggered. According to Patanjali, yoga trains us to differentiate between thought patterns, discover pramana, and acknowledge the vritti. Doing this may sound easy in theory, but is a task easier said than achieved. The Metaphysical Schools of Thought There are three metaphysical schools of thought or Darshana, all slightly distinct from one another, and all expounding upon the same truth through different lenses, complementing one another in the process. Dvaita Vedanta or dualism It helped her influence senior leaders and stakeholders to drive her projects with ease and impact. However, some coworkers or internal stakeholders found her style too controlling and demanding--making it challenging for Sarita to get their commitment on key initiatives.

In leading one critical project, Sarita had an intense, high-stakes conversation about the deployment schedule with a coworker, which brought up strong emotions and insecurities in her. Instinctually, she pulled away and avoided this person for a while and spent days ruminating about what she did to upset him. During a coaching call, we explored the situation and her emotional triggers in depth. We discussed how she might have more courageous conversations that created win-win outcomes using skills such as empathy, active listening, and asking questions to better understand her coworker's viewpoint. Sarita spent years developing the emotional capacity to investigate her triggers through articles, practice, and therapy. She was committed to doing the inner work. With thoughtful reflection and consistent practice, she became more skilled at regulating her emotional reactions. This gave her the confidence and courage to follow up with her coworker, listen to his concerns, and negotiate timelines. These four words capture the ways in which men's definitions of how women should be become the standards to which women aspire. And women themselves, just like Nina's mom, often police these roles and ideals. In addition to defining herself through these reflected appraisals, Nina is also quite intensely caught up in social comparison. The arrival of Lily, a dancer played by Mila Kunis, marks the beginning of Nina's dark descent into negative self-focus and paranoid delusions. In contrast to Nina's technically perfect but repressed style, Lily is a free spirit who refuses to internalize the constraints that a career in ballet might place on her social life. Nina becomes obsessed with the thought that Lily might take her role, an obsession depicted by disturbing visual imagery. Nina's sense of self is defined in an incredibly narrow manner (success in dancing). Thus, she fixates on that one particular goal, as we might expect on the basis of self-regulatory perseveration theory, which is discussed later in this article. Perhaps because of this focus, Nina's grip on her own identity and reality disintegrates. Losing herself in her role leads her to hallucinate that she is sprouting the feathers of a swan. Advaita Vedanta or non-dualism Visistadvaita or qualified non-dualism

Dvaita Vedanta (Sanskrit: ? Dualism or Dvaita is the foundation of Patanjali's yoga sutras. In dualism, it is believed that purusa ( ? Prakriti itself comprises three Gunas (qualities or modes of existence): Sattva (illumination), tamas (inertia), and rajas (movement). When the attraction between prakriti and purusa become overwhelming, it leads to one merging into the other, disrupting the equilibrium maintained between the three gunas. In dualism, we aim to liberate ourselves from this dependency on prakriti, transcending above our ego to attain liberation (moksa) and our true self (purusa). Dualism proposes the existence of the two independent principles of matter and spirit. The two are far from being equal, with matter being subservient to spirit. In this article, we will explore the fifth key, Grow a Resilient and Courageous Heart . This key allows us to increase our emotional intelligence, resilience, and courage in navigating stressful high-stakes situations, challenging relationships, and uncertain times. The previous article provided the tools we need to master the monkey mind. This is foundational for building more capacity and resilience to dive deeper into the emotional centers of the brain and heart. Building Emotional Intelligence and Resilience Emotional intelligence (EI) is a key ingredient of great leadership and being resilient at work and in life. According to Travis Bradberry, EI is our ability to recognize and understand emotions in ourselves and others, and the ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships. Additionally, people with high EI make more money--an average of $29,000 more per year than people with low EI. There are many key thought leaders in the field of emotional intelligence, from psychologist Daniel Goleman, who popularized EI in the USA, to psychologist Travis Bradberry, author of Emotional Intelligence 2. We will explore the time-tested strategies of these EI thought leaders, along with best practices from my empirical research working with leaders. Nina's intense social comparison with her understudy manifests itself in visions and dreams that Lily is trying to sabotage her performance. Part of what drives motivation toward any goal is self-awareness of a discrepancy between what we are now and what we would like to become.